Chapter 24: Ch 23 – Me And My Shadow

Jack was very quiet.

 

Immediately after Grease recovered, Jack ran back inside to stabilize the wounded. As soon as everything settled down, the group had to file the EAR, or end of action report, so that the authorities could properly bill the insurance company. Officer Dare was especially suspicious  when dealing with  Jack. He could tell something wasn't adding up, but Grifter was rather skilled at misdirection and made the appropriate excuses. 

 

'His first time on a field assignment with the team. He's kind of rattled. Cut the kid a break.'

 

Technically, what they did was very illegal and grounds for the insurance company to refuse payment.

 

Jack wasn't an idiot, so he didn't rock the boat, but he also was extremely confused about the whole matter. On one hand, he wasn't sure why he let himself get dragged along in the first place. He was deeply rattled by what happened to Grease. On the other, he shouldn't be rattled by what happened to Grease.

 

He had seen worse. He had dealt with more than his share of trauma. He had personally been beaten into the ground and left on the brink of death, as well as dished out a few beat downs himself. He was a ruthless man. None of what he had seen should have caused so much as a ripple of emotion.

 

So why was he so anxious?

 

He shouldn't be. Even if he was pretending to be a wide-eyed innocent, in the back of his mind he should be in control, and yet, he felt anything but, ~I'm not liking this Janus Syndrome crap. I need to get away from these people and get my head together. Hell. Maybe Angel needs to go away entirely.~

 

He remained quiet as he was interviewed. He was unwilling to say or do anything other then grunt or give one word responses, right up to the point where they teleported back to base. The five women all gave each other knowing looks right before the port and no one seemed surprised  when they all arrived in the meeting room. Nobody else was present. Jack instantly felt like this was a set up.

 

Sass cleared her throat as soon as they arrived and started talking, "Hey, Angel. We have been discussing things."

 

"That's not my name." Jack cut them off impulsively.

Inwardly, Jack nodded to himself, ~Yes. We need to fix this shit. We'll start there. My name is...~

"Adam."

~Jack. Wait. NO!~

"My name is Adam."

~No it isn't! What the fuck? That's our MIDDLE name! No. Wait. Not Our name! MINE! JUST MINE!~

 

Jack rubbed his head, "I feel of two minds about all this. I got this voice screaming in my head to just get the Hell out of here."

 

Sass nodded and was looking worried. It was obvious she knew she did something extremely sketchy, "Look. I'm sorry I got you caught up in this. You got dragged along, and I can see why you would want to just bail, but before you go. We think you deserve a full share."

 

Jack squinted, "Full share of what?"

 

Grifter started counting, "Well, this was an out of network call, Delta level request. The original request was a platinum level insurance plan so it was at a hundred and twenty five percent over base."

 

Sass held up a finger, "Don't forget four hostages rescued, and we managed to keep property damage to under a hundred thousand dollars worth of repairs, so we also got the Collateral Damage Prevention bonus."

 

Grease perked up, "We did?" She looked stunned, "We NEVER get the CDP bonus." She let out a low whistle.

 

Grifter nodded, then turned to Jack, "And we never would have been able to pull it off so smoothly without you. That's why we'd like to extend you a full share."

 

Jack slowly widened his eyes, "How much we talking here?"

 

Grifter waggled her head from side to side for a bit, "Roughly... before taxes? Sixty one thousand."

 

~SIX. ONE. COMMA THOUSAND DOLLARS???~

"I didn't do it for the money."

~YES! YES WE FUCKING DID IT FOR THE MONEY! TAKE THE FUCKING MONEY!~

"I helped you guys out because it was the right thing to do, but now that I did I... This..." Jack rubbed his forehead, "This isn't what I thought it would be. I thought being a superhero would be different."

~What the bloody fuck?~

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Jack  looked around, "You got a bathroom I can use? I... I need a minute alone." Sass nodded and directed him out into the hall. There was a men's room directly across. Jack walked in, turned the lock, stepped up to the mirror and shifted to Jack.

 

~What's your problem?~

"What?"

~I asked, "What is your problem?"~

"Holy shit. I've lost my mind."

~You don't remember, do you?~

"What?"

~When we were kids. When we were alone. When everyone kicked the shit out of us. When we had no friends. When we would spend hours just pacing in our bedroom, talking to ourselves in the mirror because nobody else would.~

Jack suddenly staggered and grabbed the side of his head. He felt a sudden migraine as a bunch of memories came flooding back. How he was so lonely he would make up stories and talk to himself in the mirror. How he would imagine himself as a superhero, fighting the good fight and saving the day. He would listen to the radio and pace in his room as he imagined fighting pirates, or ninjas, or supervillains. His hero name was...

~Adam Angel. I am Adam.~

"You're just something I made up because I was stuck all alone in the basement!"

~And when did you stop being alone?~

Jack dropped his gaze away from the mirror and said nothing.

~We never stopped being fucked up, Jack. And part of us never stopped wanting to be the hero.~

Jacks eyes snapped up to look at himself in the mirror, "You idealistic idiot! There is no way you could survive in a world like this!"

~That's right.~

"Huh?"

~Look. This is just a game we played with ourselves. I don't know why, but here that game has power.~ He saw his reflection point past him toward the exit, ~They don't want you. They want ME. I like being me. YOU like being me, but you aren't ever going to BE me.~ His reflection leaned in, ~You want that money, Don't you?~

Jack looked thoughtful, "Yeah... Yeah I do."

~Well, you can have it. But to get it, we gotta be me. You can't do what I do.~

Jack narrowed his eyes, "Is this some sort of hostile take over? I got plans, buddy. Are you going to get in my way, mister goody two-shoes?"

~Not as long as you stay out of mine. I want friends, Jack. I want to belong. We can finally belong.~

"You idiot. Have you forgotten, I dunno, most of our lives? How everyone, sooner or later betrays us?"

~You won't be the one getting hurt, now will you?~

Jack straightened up, "You... have a point." He scratched his chin, "And I get the money?"

~If you let me be me, sure. I don't care about that crud.~

"Are you... real?"

~As real as the hundreds of hours we spent talking to ourselves while our mother slowly wasted away in bed above us.~

"That's not what I meant."

~I don't know. I don't know if I am just a figment of your imagination, if this is just childhood trauma, or what. But I know that I am what we spent YEARS wishing we could be. I am every part of your childhood you killed to be a success and neither of us like being YOU.~

"But I'm the one who survived! I am the one who got us through all that fuckin' shit!" Jack tapped himself on the chest, "I am the WINNER!"

~We... know. So tell me. The award for first place... was it worth it?~

"I think the alternative was blowing our own brains out, so, yeah. I think so."

~Fair point.~

Jack hung his head and was quiet for a while, then looked up, "You aren't going to suddenly go crazy and try and get rid of me because I'm supposedly evil, are you?"

~You aren't going to try and get rid of ME in a fit of jealousy because I'm happier and have more friends, are you?~

Jack burst out laughing for a second, then rubbed his face, "I'm completely insane."

~But are we the happy kind of insane?~

Jack looked off to the side for a while, then started to bob his head while looking increasingly resolute,  "Oh what the Hell..."

Abruptly he shifted to his angelic form. He paused to adjust his clothes and blow his reflection a kiss.

 

His reflection fired back twin finger guns while it winked.

 

 

~Let's Find Out Together.~ 

"Let's Find Out Together."

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