Chapter 36: Chapter 36 The Talk 2

"It all started when I got shocked and turned depressed about my mom still comparing me to you and we argued. I talked to her and gave her a piece of my mind and walked out. When I became aware I was in my room, clutching on a rope which still wasn't been tightened on my neck and I was standing on a stool."

Shin, at that time, was unconsciously setting the rope up — he wasn't aware at all. So it couldn't be said that he committed suicide since it wasn't planned or so he believed.

"At some point, I noticed what I was doing. I wanted to call it off. However…"

'I received a notification on discord about the MTWAV not updating on that day — which I wanted to blame for making me downhearted and lowered my guard down. Fuck that.' He didn't say it out loud. At least not that. That's too lame.

After a pause, Shin then continued,

"There suddenly came a spider crawling close to the ceiling, hunting a cockroach and at that time I flinched when I saw it coming at me. I slipped and then, I died, choking as I was hanged."

"My dad came seconds as I was struggling."

"He could've saved me…"

"But you know what happened? My dad fucking shrieked when the cockroach came flying in his face. I saw him spasmed. I think he became unconscious at that time." He stared at Kanae as he said that.

Shin normally would have been laughing his ass out or at least, chuckled at this.

The funniest thing in that situation, for him, was his dad's reaction. It was just hilarious.

But he was still reeling in the sadness as he imagined what her mom would've felt at that time.

He regrets that the last moment he had with her, had to be them, going into an unresolved conflict.

What an unlucky situation.

"So, that's the whole gist of my story."

Shin couldn't find a way to word it out and explain it better other than telling her the truth, play-by-play, and being honest with her. 

Well, since he didn't technically lie, it can be said that he was honest. Even if there were words unsaid from that explanation.

When he was done talking, Kanae looked down.

"..." She was silent. Her face was dark. 

Shin felt his stomach churning.

'Yeah, thought so. I'm the only one who thinks my situation was funny. But, how ironic that I didn't laugh this time. Keke ~ I'm so weird.' 

Shin anticipated a slap or a hit coming from her but that didn't happen when suddenly —

"Pfft ~ Seriously?" She couldn't help but blurt out as she wiped her tears with her hands.

But deep inside — 

'Haaah' She sighed, relieved. 

Kanae appreciated Shin's honesty. The way he looked while explaining to her the details about his last moments was so cute. He looked like a child who had been caught doing naughty stuff and being scolded by his parents.

To Kanae, Shin looked so adorable that he earned a point which made her calm down.

From his story, Kanae found out and believed that she was likely the reason causing their argument and that incident ensued — the root cause for Shin's death.

It was because she is the one who always topped him. And by that, Shin's mother couldn't take it and be bitchy about it.

Well, Kanae saw no problems with it.

'There's nothing wrong with being a bitch just like his mother because she just wanted the best for her son.' She thought.

But the very reason why Kanae could tolerate her mother's reaction at that time was that Kanae at some point in her previous life had seen how genuine her mother had loved Shin.

She was practically doing things everything for him. She talked about it with her mother too.

Shin's mother and Kanae, well Erica's were classmates. They were close friends. Even to the present, they were still hanging out sometimes.

Erica's mother told her how obsessive and crazy Shin's mother is when it comes to her loved ones. She sometimes lost track of what she is doing.

Well, there was a bit of a history of Shin's mother that could explain why she had become that way. But that's a story for next time.

So going back to the previous subject: 

Kanae accepted in herself that she was the main reason why the incident happened.

However, she couldn't feel guilty about it. She didn't regret being smarter than him, at least it was true academically since it was her privilege to be born that way. She was proud. 

So she just shook away that feeling.

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And now —

"Shin, you…" 

"..."

"You — How could you be so dumb?" 

She looked at him with a wry smile on her face.

"...Yeah, I know that was stupid of me." He looked down, he was ashamed.

Now, he was thinking how dumb he was to be frightened by a huntsman spider which was not harmful — beneficial even. They help reduce the population of insect rodents in the house.

Shin assumed that Kanae was making fun of him for being a scaredy cat.

"No… I think you didn't understand that."

"I mean, what are you talking about it being 'not' a suicide when you're the one who, technically killed yourself? Why did you even set that up, the hanging rope I mean." 

Kanae called off Shin's statement about his death being not a suicide.

"Well, I don't think that it was."

He disagreed with Kanae's claim. He shook his head, opposing what she said.

Deep inside, the moment Shin realized that Kanae didn't lash out and condemn him strongly for what he did, he felt some weights were removed from his shoulder.

"But, yeah like I said, I wasn't aware of it."

"Well, you know, there is a time when people unconsciously move without them noticing it. Just like All Might had stated for true heroism: 

"A body would move before it had time to think about." when the person in question was witnessing a situation of someone needing some help, don't you think so?"

'Keke ~ Lol what the heck am I talking about?' He chuckled in his mind. It was a silly excuse.

Shin was talking about a scene where All Might complimented Midoriya, the main character of Boku no Hero Academia anime, about his heroic personality. That scene showcased what genuine heroism was, which is the overall theme of the anime.

"... Well, you do have a point."

Kanae cupped her chin and had a thoughtful expression.

'Wait, I do? Seriously?' He was doubtful. He just wanted to ease the mood slightly by cracking up a joke. 

He just also wanted to forget about claiming earlier — saying that he didn't kill himself. When Kanae pointed that out, Shin agreed that in fact, in a certain angle he did technically commit suicide. 

'Shame, shame.' Shin rebuked himself. 

"Hmm… I know you're a bit crazy in the head so fine, sigh, I'll accept your alibi."

Kanae exhaled a deep sigh.

She continued,

"Though in your case it's anything but heroic. It appeared edgier if you think about it. You're so weird. Hehehe ~" 

She giggled.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm Mr. Edgy or whatever." 

Shin shrugged and looked at Kanae's bright smiling face.

He was surprised that she took that far more easily than he thought.

She did seem to ridicule him about his story but this doesn't tick him off, not even to the least. 

He preferred seeing her smile, to looking at the tears in her eyes. She was more beautiful that way.

"Since I'm done with mine can you tell me about yours? I want to know what happened back then when I died. How is my mom doing?"

"..." Kanae was taken aback. Cold sweats were pouring down her face.

'Of course, he would ask about his mom.' 

"Erm…" Her eyes darted over the place.

'I don't know. Because I haven't heard of her since then. Oh my gosh, how am I supposed to tell him that I didn't attend his funeral…' 

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