If I Can't Be Your Wife
Her heart began to react more to the subtle resounding voice. Kathleen unknowingly rolled her eyes down, but Alexis soon caught her chin and met her gaze again.
“Hmm? Answer me, Kathleen.”
“That…….”
“Is there a curfew in Usmund Castle?”
“Well, it’s not like that…….”
His hot lips went over her cheeks and began to reach her forehead, the bridge of her nose, her eyelids, and even her earlobes. At the blatant seduction, Kathleen could not properly refuse and began to get caught up.
“If your uncle is looking after Luci, there would be no need for his mother to be there.”
“Yes…… That’s true.”
“I’m the one who needs you now more than anyone else. Your husband.”
Kathleen was deeply embarrassed to see Alexis wanting her.
‘I’ve never done this before.’
When she heard that his nerves, which had paralyzed his emotions, were revived and healed, she wondered if his personality had also changed. It has been five years since they got married, but she was nervous because they had only shared two nights together. She didn’t hate it though. Rather, it was closer to being thrilled.
“Go back in the morning.”
Alexis said softly.
“I will take you.”
“H-Hold on a second……!”
As his lips moved from the tip of her chin to her neck, Kathleen pushed him away involuntarily. It was from the thought that if there were any traces left, she might have to wear a scarf all the time indoors.
But Alexis seemed to take her refusal in a different way.
“……I’m sorry. I was too hasty.”
He leaned back and apologized. There was a slight sense of guilt on his face.
“It will remain as an unpleasant memory for you. My greed has gone too far.”
“Oh…….”
Surprised by the sudden apology, she realized why Alexis had stopped. Not all of the nights they spent as a couple remained as good memories. Weakness on their first night was the reason they got married, and the second night resulted in Luci because she disobeyed him.
Alexis must have thought that she felt repulsed by the deepening contact due to those memories. He held Kathleen in his arms and gently caressed her back.
“From now on I won’t act on my own. Just stay with me like this for now.”
It was a little disappointing, but she thought that it was better as it was a gentler touch than ever before. Kathleen raised her arms and hugged her husband.
“Yes. Okay.”
It felt like her love for him was overflowing and filling her heart. Kathleen dug deeper into Alexis’ arms.
***
“Luci, did your mom say she wouldn’t eat breakfast today?”
Cassiel was puzzled by Kathleen, who was not present at breakfast today, and asked his grandson. Luci swallowed a spoonful of oatmeal and answered.
“Uhuh. Mom is still sleeping.”
“Odd. She used to wake up early every time.”
“Mom goes out at night. She tells me to go to bed early every day.”
Cassiel, who thought nothing of it, was startled by Luci’s response as he grumbled.
“What? Your mother?”
He intuitively sensed something strange. Kathleen had been going back to her bedroom early every few days, saying she wanted to go to bed early, so where in the world does she go? Alone at that…….
‘Oh. You weren’t alone.’
He let out a laugh. Cassiel had forgotten that amongst the outsiders who visited Usmund, Kathleen had someone to meet outside.
“You met Alexis Walten.”
He murmured unconsciously as he recalled. He barely managed to get that rogue away from his niece, but before he knew it, he managed to twist his way in. It was downright ridiculous.
“Right! Mom must have gone to Dad!”
Luci clapped his hands and said as if he realized what he had forgotten.
“Yes, I guess so.”
Cassiel clenched his teeth. It was not enough for his niece to suffer so far, he even bewitched her. He was an absolute thief.
‘You came to Carmine and stayed quiet, I thought you were keeping a low profile but…….’
He sighed. In his mind, he wanted to threaten him to return to Meyer alone for him to receive the Margrave title.
“My apologies, Uncle. I’m late, aren’t I?”
Then Kathleen rushed into the dining room. She had dark circles under her eyes, seemingly exhausted.
“I promised to eat together today, but I overslept. I’m sorry. Tomorrow for sure……aachh!”
“Did you catch a cold?”
“Oh, it’s nothing serious. My body is a little cold but I’ll be fine with some rest.”
Just thinking of Grand Duke Walten made him feel sour, but when he saw his niece smiling and looking at him, his heart weakened. Moreover, since she had already given birth to a child, it will not be easy to separate her from him.
Cassiel sighed deeply once more.
“Now, stop going to see each other every night. It’s cold, what if you fall seriously ill?”
“Pardon?”
Kathleen, who was visibly embarrassed, showed that he had hit the nail on the head.
“……When you’re done, call Grand Duke Walten. I want to see him.”
His words noticeably brightened Kathleen’s face.
“Yes, uncle! I’ll call him right away. Thank you.”
“Instead, eat properly and drink all the hot tea.”
“Of course. Don’t worry. I’m fine.”
In his mind, he wanted to make him wait fifteen days longer, but Cassiel lost to Kathleen in the end.
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After finishing the meal, he went up to the drawing room, and soon heard that Grand Duke Walten had arrived.
After knocking, a neat introduction came from outside the door. Cassiel said as he sat down.
“Come in.”
Then a tall man with dark hair and golden eyes came in wearing a black uniform. He was good looking, like the last time he saw him, but it was a face he didn’t like at all.
“You, stay out.”
“Uncle…….”
“At once.”
At Cassiel’s resolute words, Kathleen, who came in with Grand Duke Walten, looked at Alexis.
He nodded his head slightly, and she cautiously left the drawing room. Seeing this, Cassiel sighed again.
“May I sit down?”
Grand Duke Walten asked the question all too naturally. As if he knew Cassiel wouldn’t offer it first.
“Yes.”
Cassiel, whose inner feelings had been caught, said reluctantly. After the Grand Duke Walten greeted in a manner not in any way contrary to etiquette, he sat down and delivered the Emperor’s letter and decree.
Cassiel tore the seal, read the contents roughly, and set it aside. Though uncomfortable, Grand Duke Walten remained calm.
“Since the emperor had no reason not to keep his promise, he didn’t have to send someone so formally here.”
“Yes.”
“It was far less necessary for it to be the Grand Duke.”
“I thought you wanted to meet me at least once.”
“Me? You?”
“Yes. Since you saved me. I came here to extend my gratitude.”
He was speechless. It is true that he helped save Grand Duke Walten by sending the Ice Flowers. But it wasn’t because he wanted to see that shameless pretty face.
“Honestly, I thought it would have been better if you had died. That way the child will be free.”
“I know.”
Cassiel’s eyebrows twitched. Grand Duke Walten continued, not agitated in the slightest.
“If Kathleen is by my side, her freedom will be limited.”
“…….”
“Still, I wanted to be with her. So I decided to hold on and live, and now I want to live the rest of my life with a heart of atonement.”
Although he spoke his words politely, he did not retreat even an inch. Cassiel’s heart was relieved and bitter by Alexis’ sincere appearance. It occurred to him that he had no choice but to let her go.
‘Juliana, your daughter wants to go out into the world like you too.’
Perhaps she was truly right and he just didn’t know it. Even Usmund could not live in hiding in the mountains forever. Juliana and Kathleen might be opening the door.
Cassiel gave a brief glance at the decree that appointed him as Margrave and he said.
“She was my sister’s daughter, but she’s my daughter now. I consider that child’s son to be my grandson as well. So.”
He paused for a moment, as if to warn Grand Duke Walten, and quickly spoke.
“If you hurt her again like you did in the past, you should know that I will not stand still. The Emperor has given me title and authority, but I can throw them away at any time. It’s not difficult to bring disaster to Meyer with the powers of the House of Usmund. Do you understand?”
“I do. Kathleen is my wife and Luci is my son.”
The will of Grand Duke Walten seemed firm. Disappointed, Cassiel decided to trust him one last time.
“Take care of my daughter.”
Cassiel held out his hand first.
“I will. Thank you for giving me your daughter, Lady Kathleen Usmund.”
Grand Duke Walten gladly took the hand for peace.
And at that moment, a step past distrust and division within the empire began.
***
Meanwhile, in the Imperial Palace.
“His Majesty is busy with national affairs. The deputy must wait for a moment.”
Count Schenberg has already been denied for the fifth time. The attendant standing in front of him had an inflexible expression.
“…….Alright.”
With a heavy heart, he retreated. He had not met the emperor after he was rescued from the South. He didn’t expect to be able to meet her easily, but his heart was heavy.
He went down the stairs, fiddling with the resignation letter in his hand. He didn’t know if she’ll be able to spare an audience for him today, but he resolved to hold on until it was time to leave.
‘You think I was a traitor.’
He felt bitter. He did not plan the rebellion himself, but the soldiers he raised were used in the rebellion. As an emperor, it was already a great favor that she did not execute him right away, but first tried to find out the truth through an investigation.
But he didn’t know why he felt this way just because the emperor didn’t want to see him.
‘…….So I have to leave.’
It was best to leave before discovering the true nature of the feeling. That was the conclusion he reached after thinking about it for several dozen days. The soldiers he raised went to nothing, and his goal disappeared as she had set up an autonomous organization in the southern region to take care of the people of the old dynasty. He had no more reason to stay with the emperor.
“Then why can’t we just go and check it?”
As he wandered aimlessly through the corridors, a group of nobles approached from afar and the voices of dissatisfaction rang out loudly.
“Whether it’s the Emperor or the Grand Duke keeping their mouths shut, isn’t it frustrating?”
“No, are you still talking about that? If His Majesty is not a man, would His Majesty the Grand Duke have stayed still?”
“How do you know if they didn’t just come to an agreement? It only requires to take off his top but he’s been dragging it for so long that suspicions don’t go away!”
They must have answered the emperor’s call to the palace, but they were going around talking about the suspicions on her gender without hesitation.
Without realizing it, Count Schenberg’s lips contorted.
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Chapter 101: 100
“Hmm? Answer me, Kathleen.”
“That…….”
“Is there a curfew in Usmund Castle?”
“Well, it’s not like that…….”
His hot lips went over her cheeks and began to reach her forehead, the bridge of her nose, her eyelids, and even her earlobes. At the blatant seduction, Kathleen could not properly refuse and began to get caught up.
“If your uncle is looking after Luci, there would be no need for his mother to be there.”
“Yes…… That’s true.”
“I’m the one who needs you now more than anyone else. Your husband.”
Kathleen was deeply embarrassed to see Alexis wanting her.
‘I’ve never done this before.’
When she heard that his nerves, which had paralyzed his emotions, were revived and healed, she wondered if his personality had also changed. It has been five years since they got married, but she was nervous because they had only shared two nights together. She didn’t hate it though. Rather, it was closer to being thrilled.
“Go back in the morning.”
Alexis said softly.
“I will take you.”
“H-Hold on a second……!”
As his lips moved from the tip of her chin to her neck, Kathleen pushed him away involuntarily. It was from the thought that if there were any traces left, she might have to wear a scarf all the time indoors.
But Alexis seemed to take her refusal in a different way.
“……I’m sorry. I was too hasty.”
He leaned back and apologized. There was a slight sense of guilt on his face.
“Oh…….”
Surprised by the sudden apology, she realized why Alexis had stopped. Not all of the nights they spent as a couple remained as good memories. Weakness on their first night was the reason they got married, and the second night resulted in Luci because she disobeyed him.
Alexis must have thought that she felt repulsed by the deepening contact due to those memories. He held Kathleen in his arms and gently caressed her back.
“From now on I won’t act on my own. Just stay with me like this for now.”
It was a little disappointing, but she thought that it was better as it was a gentler touch than ever before. Kathleen raised her arms and hugged her husband.
“Yes. Okay.”
It felt like her love for him was overflowing and filling her heart. Kathleen dug deeper into Alexis’ arms.
***
“Luci, did your mom say she wouldn’t eat breakfast today?”
Cassiel was puzzled by Kathleen, who was not present at breakfast today, and asked his grandson. Luci swallowed a spoonful of oatmeal and answered.
“Uhuh. Mom is still sleeping.”
“Odd. She used to wake up early every time.”
“Mom goes out at night. She tells me to go to bed early every day.”
Cassiel, who thought nothing of it, was startled by Luci’s response as he grumbled.
“What? Your mother?”
He intuitively sensed something strange. Kathleen had been going back to her bedroom early every few days, saying she wanted to go to bed early, so where in the world does she go? Alone at that…….
‘Oh. You weren’t alone.’
He let out a laugh. Cassiel had forgotten that amongst the outsiders who visited Usmund, Kathleen had someone to meet outside.
“You met Alexis Walten.”
“Right! Mom must have gone to Dad!”
Luci clapped his hands and said as if he realized what he had forgotten.
“Yes, I guess so.”
Cassiel clenched his teeth. It was not enough for his niece to suffer so far, he even bewitched her. He was an absolute thief.
‘You came to Carmine and stayed quiet, I thought you were keeping a low profile but…….’
He sighed. In his mind, he wanted to threaten him to return to Meyer alone for him to receive the Margrave title.
“My apologies, Uncle. I’m late, aren’t I?”
Then Kathleen rushed into the dining room. She had dark circles under her eyes, seemingly exhausted.
“I promised to eat together today, but I overslept. I’m sorry. Tomorrow for sure……aachh!”
“Did you catch a cold?”
“Oh, it’s nothing serious. My body is a little cold but I’ll be fine with some rest.”
Just thinking of Grand Duke Walten made him feel sour, but when he saw his niece smiling and looking at him, his heart weakened. Moreover, since she had already given birth to a child, it will not be easy to separate her from him.
Cassiel sighed deeply once more.
“Now, stop going to see each other every night. It’s cold, what if you fall seriously ill?”
“Pardon?”
Kathleen, who was visibly embarrassed, showed that he had hit the nail on the head.
“……When you’re done, call Grand Duke Walten. I want to see him.”
His words noticeably brightened Kathleen’s face.
“Yes, uncle! I’ll call him right away. Thank you.”
“Of course. Don’t worry. I’m fine.”
In his mind, he wanted to make him wait fifteen days longer, but Cassiel lost to Kathleen in the end.
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After finishing the meal, he went up to the drawing room, and soon heard that Grand Duke Walten had arrived.
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“This is Alexis Walten.”After knocking, a neat introduction came from outside the door. Cassiel said as he sat down.
“Come in.”
Then a tall man with dark hair and golden eyes came in wearing a black uniform. He was good looking, like the last time he saw him, but it was a face he didn’t like at all.
“You, stay out.”
“Uncle…….”
“At once.”
At Cassiel’s resolute words, Kathleen, who came in with Grand Duke Walten, looked at Alexis.
He nodded his head slightly, and she cautiously left the drawing room. Seeing this, Cassiel sighed again.
“May I sit down?”
Grand Duke Walten asked the question all too naturally. As if he knew Cassiel wouldn’t offer it first.
“Yes.”
Cassiel, whose inner feelings had been caught, said reluctantly. After the Grand Duke Walten greeted in a manner not in any way contrary to etiquette, he sat down and delivered the Emperor’s letter and decree.
Cassiel tore the seal, read the contents roughly, and set it aside. Though uncomfortable, Grand Duke Walten remained calm.
“Since the emperor had no reason not to keep his promise, he didn’t have to send someone so formally here.”
“It was far less necessary for it to be the Grand Duke.”
“I thought you wanted to meet me at least once.”
“Me? You?”
“Yes. Since you saved me. I came here to extend my gratitude.”
He was speechless. It is true that he helped save Grand Duke Walten by sending the Ice Flowers. But it wasn’t because he wanted to see that shameless pretty face.
“Honestly, I thought it would have been better if you had died. That way the child will be free.”
“I know.”
Cassiel’s eyebrows twitched. Grand Duke Walten continued, not agitated in the slightest.
“If Kathleen is by my side, her freedom will be limited.”
“…….”
“Still, I wanted to be with her. So I decided to hold on and live, and now I want to live the rest of my life with a heart of atonement.”
Although he spoke his words politely, he did not retreat even an inch. Cassiel’s heart was relieved and bitter by Alexis’ sincere appearance. It occurred to him that he had no choice but to let her go.
‘Juliana, your daughter wants to go out into the world like you too.’
Perhaps she was truly right and he just didn’t know it. Even Usmund could not live in hiding in the mountains forever. Juliana and Kathleen might be opening the door.
Cassiel gave a brief glance at the decree that appointed him as Margrave and he said.
“She was my sister’s daughter, but she’s my daughter now. I consider that child’s son to be my grandson as well. So.”
He paused for a moment, as if to warn Grand Duke Walten, and quickly spoke.
“If you hurt her again like you did in the past, you should know that I will not stand still. The Emperor has given me title and authority, but I can throw them away at any time. It’s not difficult to bring disaster to Meyer with the powers of the House of Usmund. Do you understand?”
“I do. Kathleen is my wife and Luci is my son.”
“Take care of my daughter.”
Cassiel held out his hand first.
“I will. Thank you for giving me your daughter, Lady Kathleen Usmund.”
Grand Duke Walten gladly took the hand for peace.
And at that moment, a step past distrust and division within the empire began.
***
Meanwhile, in the Imperial Palace.
“His Majesty is busy with national affairs. The deputy must wait for a moment.”
Count Schenberg has already been denied for the fifth time. The attendant standing in front of him had an inflexible expression.
“…….Alright.”
With a heavy heart, he retreated. He had not met the emperor after he was rescued from the South. He didn’t expect to be able to meet her easily, but his heart was heavy.
He went down the stairs, fiddling with the resignation letter in his hand. He didn’t know if she’ll be able to spare an audience for him today, but he resolved to hold on until it was time to leave.
‘You think I was a traitor.’
He felt bitter. He did not plan the rebellion himself, but the soldiers he raised were used in the rebellion. As an emperor, it was already a great favor that she did not execute him right away, but first tried to find out the truth through an investigation.
But he didn’t know why he felt this way just because the emperor didn’t want to see him.
‘…….So I have to leave.’
It was best to leave before discovering the true nature of the feeling. That was the conclusion he reached after thinking about it for several dozen days. The soldiers he raised went to nothing, and his goal disappeared as she had set up an autonomous organization in the southern region to take care of the people of the old dynasty. He had no more reason to stay with the emperor.
“Then why can’t we just go and check it?”
As he wandered aimlessly through the corridors, a group of nobles approached from afar and the voices of dissatisfaction rang out loudly.
“No, are you still talking about that? If His Majesty is not a man, would His Majesty the Grand Duke have stayed still?”
“How do you know if they didn’t just come to an agreement? It only requires to take off his top but he’s been dragging it for so long that suspicions don’t go away!”
They must have answered the emperor’s call to the palace, but they were going around talking about the suspicions on her gender without hesitation.
Without realizing it, Count Schenberg’s lips contorted.
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