If I Can't Be Your Wife
***
***
The bandages, which were tightly wrapped to hide the curves of the body, were no longer needed when the new clothes were put on. Peter felt a sense of liberation, removing the bandages and changing into the clothes she had prepared.
She went out of the palace and got on the horse she had tied up. Since the sun was already setting and it took a long time to reach her destination, by the time she arrived, it was already dawn.
But Peter entered the small town as if she was already familiar with it. After passing through several small houses the size of a gorge, she arrived in front of an ordinary house with no special features. She carefully pushed the door in without knocking.
In a cute little cradle, a newborn baby with shiny silver hair was sleeping peacefully, and on the bed next to it was a woman with scarlet hair.
Peter picked up the blanket that had fallen beside her and put it on her shoulder. Then, the light blue eyes appeared. As soon as she saw her, her eyes gladly curved.
“You’re here?”
“Yes. Kathleen I’m sorry I’m late. How’s your body?”
“It’s okay.”
Sitting cautiously on the edge of her bed, she helped her get up. Peter looked at the baby.
At first glance, she could see a person’s face coming out, a face she didn’t want to see.
In other words, Alexis Walten’s face.
The moment she recalled that, her anger rose again, but unlike when she saw her half-brother, her heart melted in front of this innocent and lovely face.
“You look a lot like Kathleen.”
Peter caressed the baby’s little hand, ignoring his resemblance to his father. Looking closely, the baby looked a lot like his mother. His hair and eyes were the same as his mother’s anyway, so anyone who didn’t know his father would say that he looked just like his mother.
“It’s enough to believe that you’re a girl.”.
“Even all the neighbors say that. He is so beautiful they’re asking if he really isn’t a girl.”
“That’s understandable. Because he is so beautiful like an angel.”
Peter looked at his first-born nephew lovingly and suddenly remembered.
“Have you named the baby?”
“I’m still thinking.”
“He has been born for a month and has no name. Any candidates?”
“Well, that’s…”
Kathleen stretched her words, and answered vaguely. There were many choices, but there was one problem.
‘I don’t want to give the baby a name I thought of when I was with the Duke.’
She couldn’t think of anything suitable when she tried to throw away all the names she secretly picked.
“Since you’re now an uncle, no, now that you’re an aunt, how about Peter decides?”
Kathleen said cheerfully, as she struggled to erase the boy’s image from her mind.
“Since Peter was the one who first noticed I was with child.”
“That’s true, but can I really decide?”
“There is nothing wrong with it. Peter is like this child’s parent.”
“Hey, you shouldn’t say that anywhere else. Or, I will really become this child’s father.”
At Peter’s joke, Kathleen burst into laughter. Even so, Peter was the number one candidate for the villagers who wondered who the baby’s father was.
When he first started coming, he came in men’s clothes, but then started to wear women’s clothes after being treated as a rogue breaking into the house of a young woman living alone.
“Then how about Luciano?”
“Like light?”
“Yes. For Kathleen and for me, this child is like a light.”
“That’s a good name. We can call him Luci as his nickname. I love it.”
Quietly stroking her son’s head, Kathleen tried calling his name again.
“Luci……”
“I will help you raise your child well. Don’t worry.”
“Thank you, Peter. For everything, from the beginning to now.”
Holding down her tearful emotions, Kathleen expressed her gratitude.
“Without Peter, this child might not have been born.”
Three years ago, that night.
On the way back from the western hunting lodge to the Duke’s house, Kathleen thought about death.
It was Peter, who was Alexis’ half-sister and Crown Prince, who caught her. She wanted to escape from all the shock of her erroneous choices and had not thought of her child.
Hearing the whole story, he said in a somewhat enraged voice.
-Don’t try to abandon your life for such a man. Why would you risk your life for the person who took advantage of you?
Then Peter took Kathleen’s hand and brought it to his chest. Without a moment of surprise at his somewhat rough gestures, Kathleen was startled by the secret he had been hiding.
– Y-Your Highness.
-My mother, Her Majesty the Empress, lied. Fearing that my illegitimate brother would succeed the throne to the Empire, she forced herself to have me and announced that I was a son. So, my brother became the Duke of Walten instead of Crown Prince. However, I can become an Emperor, but I cannot marry a woman, so my mother was so obsessed with my brother’s heir. If my brother sired an heir, she intended to take the child.
A confession mixed with regret and self-mock shook Kathleen. Peter cried and begged.
-I understood the persecution that Sister-in-Law was going through and pretended to help, but I too am just a bystander. I’m sorry…….
She offered to help her leave the Duke’s residence if she wanted to, and Kathleen accepted.
Then, as if nothing had happened, she went back to the Duke’s house and came out of the house with only what she truly owned.
The same things she had when she arrived six years ago.
“I think that’s an exaggeration, but it makes me feel good to hear you say that.”
Peter laughed softly.
“By the way, are you going to keep dyeing your hair?”
“Yes. My silver hair stands out so much. Baby, no, Luci won’t be out of the house very often, so it’ll be fine.”
Her scarlet hair, dyed with cheap dye, looked rough, but it somehow matched Kathleen’s pale blue eyes. When her hair was tied high, she looked like a lively girl. So she dyed her hair even when she was working as the Duke’s maid.
[T/N: Okay, so I don’t know why, but I’ve always assumed she had silver hair. Maybe she dyed hair when she was a maid but switched to her original color when she became Duchess, or maybe I assumed that she always had silver hair because of the cover.]
“Is it weird?”
“My mother dyed hers brown. Would that look better on me?”
“No. This suits you well. However, I’m worried that the villagers would wonder who his father is by looking at Luci’s hair color.”
“I’ll tell them that it’s silver since he’s still young, but that it’s going to be a different color when he grows up. If I tell them that my father’s hair is that color, they would believe it.”
“Hey, I don’t know, I think I’m going to be suspected again. Last time, I forgot and went to buy flour while wearing men’s clothes, but I was treated like the worst trash in the world and was hit on the back. They still think I gave up on my wife and child.”
“Oh my gosh! You mean Mrs. Anderson did that again?”
“I explained several times that it was a misunderstanding, and she did it again!” Peter laughed again at Kathleen’s apologetic look.
“Then why don’t you tell them that it will soon turn light-green?”
Someone slammed the door open, came in and responded politely. Kathleen got up from her seat.
“Joseph!”
“It’s good that I came early in the morning. Since you’re all gathered here.”
Dressed as a commoner and not a priest, Joseph placed several brown paper bags he was carrying in his arms on the table.
“I bought groceries. The milk and eggs are fresh from the farm. The baby?”
“Luci is still sleeping.”
“Luci?”
“Yes, his full name is Luciano. I decided on a name today.”
“You’ve finally decided on a name! It’s a name that goes well with his hair color.”
Joseph smiled and gently stroked the baby’s head in the cradle. Peter said triumphantly.
“Isn’t it natural because I named him?”
“Your Highness named him?”
Joseph said with a surprised expression on his face.
“Somehow I am not surprised that Your Highness did something again.”
“Somehow? You. Do you know that those words are close to blasphemy?”
“Isn’t it true? After coming to this village, every time Your Highness did something, oh, how nervous I was.”
“Cough! It’s okay to make mistakes when doing things you’ve never done yet.”
The truth was, since Peter was a precious prince who was raised in the Imperial Family, she often caused an accident. There was a time when she tried to sell jewelry owned by the Imperial Family to a jeweler to add money for buying a house, and they barely caught her in front of the store’s door.
Perhaps, if Joseph, who became a free body after completing training, hadn’t found out and come to where Kathleen was through Peter, Kathleen would be suffering all the time.
“Anyway, I’m Luci’s uncle or aunt, so I’m closer than Joseph.”
“Sure you are. Oh, you didn’t touch the oven this time, right? We still don’t have a lot in the house, so you shouldn’t destroy the ones we have.”
“Oh well, aren’t you annoying? Did you only learn nagging at the Temple?”
Seeing the two of them arguing, Kathleen laughed. At first they were polite to each other, but time brought them closer.
Kathleen now felt like she finally had her own family.
“Eunng.”
Luci suddenly woke up and cried. Kathleen froze, and quickly held her child.
“I’ll prepare breakfast. Let’s eat and go quickly.”
Joseph skillfully arranged the ingredients and shouted at Peter. Peter was busy waving her hands and looking at Luci.
“Do it yourself.”
She had to return to the Imperial Palace soon so food was not important. Peter was preoccupied with looking at her cute nephew. Eventually, Kathleen handed Luci over and went to the kitchen to help prepare the meal.
“Oh my gosh, I was wondering why it was so noisy, but there was a nice guest!”
Mrs. Anderson, who lived next door, shouted and pushed her face through an open window slit with a basket of fresh cherries by her side. Kathleen opened the door and greeted her warmly.
“Mrs. Anderson! Come on in.”
“I got some cherries from Browning’s farm over there because they said it was a bountiful harvest. Let’s eat together. But finally, the boy’s father is here, right?”
“What?”
“Ah, that person! I’ve seen you sneak in and out here a long time ago. I heard you bought milk and eggs from the farm in the morning? Are you finally settling down?”
In such a small town, rumors spread quickly. Worried about Kathleen’s condition, Joseph sneaked in once a month, and then came and went openly around the time her childbirth was imminent.
She gave birth to a baby three years after she settled in town, so to those who didn’t know she was of fairy blood, they would think she had a baby a year ago. In addition, the only men circling around were Joseph or Peter, so narrowing down the candidates to them was not a huge leap.
Kathleen didn’t say anything to her, and she smiled vaguely. She felt sorry for the sudden corruption of the faithful priest.
“That, Mrs., that’s not it.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
Just as she was about to explain the situation, Joseph interrupted her.
“Now I’m going to try to settle down here too.”
“Oh, good thinking! You now have a child, but you should have actually done that sooner.”
Mrs. Anderson slapped Joseph on the back, satisfied that he was finally doing his job. Joseph’s brow twitched because her hands were hot.
“By the way, does your son’s hair color resemble his father’s?”
“I guess so? Babies change a lot as they grow up.”
Still, Joseph did not forget to skillfully respond to Mrs. Anderson’s words.
“Joseph, I’m sorry.”
Kathleen whispered while the woman was preoccupied with Luci.
“It’s fine. I was the one who lied first.”
“But if there is even a rumor, your priesthood, it will become a problem.”
“It doesn’t matter. Didn’t I tell you before? It is my calling to help the weak.”
He cut her words softly and resolutely, as if he didn’t want to listen anymore.
“I chose you.”
***
Chapter 24: 24
***
The bandages, which were tightly wrapped to hide the curves of the body, were no longer needed when the new clothes were put on. Peter felt a sense of liberation, removing the bandages and changing into the clothes she had prepared.
She went out of the palace and got on the horse she had tied up. Since the sun was already setting and it took a long time to reach her destination, by the time she arrived, it was already dawn.
But Peter entered the small town as if she was already familiar with it. After passing through several small houses the size of a gorge, she arrived in front of an ordinary house with no special features. She carefully pushed the door in without knocking.
In a cute little cradle, a newborn baby with shiny silver hair was sleeping peacefully, and on the bed next to it was a woman with scarlet hair.
Peter picked up the blanket that had fallen beside her and put it on her shoulder. Then, the light blue eyes appeared. As soon as she saw her, her eyes gladly curved.
“You’re here?”
“Yes. Kathleen I’m sorry I’m late. How’s your body?”
“It’s okay.”
Sitting cautiously on the edge of her bed, she helped her get up. Peter looked at the baby.
At first glance, she could see a person’s face coming out, a face she didn’t want to see.
In other words, Alexis Walten’s face.
The moment she recalled that, her anger rose again, but unlike when she saw her half-brother, her heart melted in front of this innocent and lovely face.
“You look a lot like Kathleen.”
Peter caressed the baby’s little hand, ignoring his resemblance to his father. Looking closely, the baby looked a lot like his mother. His hair and eyes were the same as his mother’s anyway, so anyone who didn’t know his father would say that he looked just like his mother.
“It’s enough to believe that you’re a girl.”.
“Even all the neighbors say that. He is so beautiful they’re asking if he really isn’t a girl.”
“That’s understandable. Because he is so beautiful like an angel.”
Peter looked at his first-born nephew lovingly and suddenly remembered.
“I’m still thinking.”
“He has been born for a month and has no name. Any candidates?”
“Well, that’s…”
Kathleen stretched her words, and answered vaguely. There were many choices, but there was one problem.
‘I don’t want to give the baby a name I thought of when I was with the Duke.’
She couldn’t think of anything suitable when she tried to throw away all the names she secretly picked.
“Since you’re now an uncle, no, now that you’re an aunt, how about Peter decides?”
Kathleen said cheerfully, as she struggled to erase the boy’s image from her mind.
“Since Peter was the one who first noticed I was with child.”
“That’s true, but can I really decide?”
“There is nothing wrong with it. Peter is like this child’s parent.”
“Hey, you shouldn’t say that anywhere else. Or, I will really become this child’s father.”
At Peter’s joke, Kathleen burst into laughter. Even so, Peter was the number one candidate for the villagers who wondered who the baby’s father was.
When he first started coming, he came in men’s clothes, but then started to wear women’s clothes after being treated as a rogue breaking into the house of a young woman living alone.
“Then how about Luciano?”
“Like light?”
“Yes. For Kathleen and for me, this child is like a light.”
“That’s a good name. We can call him Luci as his nickname. I love it.”
Quietly stroking her son’s head, Kathleen tried calling his name again.
“I will help you raise your child well. Don’t worry.”
“Thank you, Peter. For everything, from the beginning to now.”
Holding down her tearful emotions, Kathleen expressed her gratitude.
“Without Peter, this child might not have been born.”
Three years ago, that night.
On the way back from the western hunting lodge to the Duke’s house, Kathleen thought about death.
It was Peter, who was Alexis’ half-sister and Crown Prince, who caught her. She wanted to escape from all the shock of her erroneous choices and had not thought of her child.
Hearing the whole story, he said in a somewhat enraged voice.
-Don’t try to abandon your life for such a man. Why would you risk your life for the person who took advantage of you?
Then Peter took Kathleen’s hand and brought it to his chest. Without a moment of surprise at his somewhat rough gestures, Kathleen was startled by the secret he had been hiding.
– Y-Your Highness.
-My mother, Her Majesty the Empress, lied. Fearing that my illegitimate brother would succeed the throne to the Empire, she forced herself to have me and announced that I was a son. So, my brother became the Duke of Walten instead of Crown Prince. However, I can become an Emperor, but I cannot marry a woman, so my mother was so obsessed with my brother’s heir. If my brother sired an heir, she intended to take the child.
A confession mixed with regret and self-mock shook Kathleen. Peter cried and begged.
-I understood the persecution that Sister-in-Law was going through and pretended to help, but I too am just a bystander. I’m sorry…….
She offered to help her leave the Duke’s residence if she wanted to, and Kathleen accepted.
Then, as if nothing had happened, she went back to the Duke’s house and came out of the house with only what she truly owned.
The same things she had when she arrived six years ago.
“I think that’s an exaggeration, but it makes me feel good to hear you say that.”
Peter laughed softly.
“Yes. My silver hair stands out so much. Baby, no, Luci won’t be out of the house very often, so it’ll be fine.”
Her scarlet hair, dyed with cheap dye, looked rough, but it somehow matched Kathleen’s pale blue eyes. When her hair was tied high, she looked like a lively girl. So she dyed her hair even when she was working as the Duke’s maid.
[T/N: Okay, so I don’t know why, but I’ve always assumed she had silver hair. Maybe she dyed hair when she was a maid but switched to her original color when she became Duchess, or maybe I assumed that she always had silver hair because of the cover.]
“Is it weird?”
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Kathleen fiddled with her hair and asked.“My mother dyed hers brown. Would that look better on me?”
“No. This suits you well. However, I’m worried that the villagers would wonder who his father is by looking at Luci’s hair color.”
“I’ll tell them that it’s silver since he’s still young, but that it’s going to be a different color when he grows up. If I tell them that my father’s hair is that color, they would believe it.”
“Hey, I don’t know, I think I’m going to be suspected again. Last time, I forgot and went to buy flour while wearing men’s clothes, but I was treated like the worst trash in the world and was hit on the back. They still think I gave up on my wife and child.”
“Oh my gosh! You mean Mrs. Anderson did that again?”
“I explained several times that it was a misunderstanding, and she did it again!” Peter laughed again at Kathleen’s apologetic look.
“Then why don’t you tell them that it will soon turn light-green?”
Someone slammed the door open, came in and responded politely. Kathleen got up from her seat.
“Joseph!”
“It’s good that I came early in the morning. Since you’re all gathered here.”
Dressed as a commoner and not a priest, Joseph placed several brown paper bags he was carrying in his arms on the table.
“I bought groceries. The milk and eggs are fresh from the farm. The baby?”
“Luci is still sleeping.”
“Luci?”
“You’ve finally decided on a name! It’s a name that goes well with his hair color.”
Joseph smiled and gently stroked the baby’s head in the cradle. Peter said triumphantly.
“Isn’t it natural because I named him?”
“Your Highness named him?”
Joseph said with a surprised expression on his face.
“Somehow I am not surprised that Your Highness did something again.”
“Somehow? You. Do you know that those words are close to blasphemy?”
“Isn’t it true? After coming to this village, every time Your Highness did something, oh, how nervous I was.”
“Cough! It’s okay to make mistakes when doing things you’ve never done yet.”
The truth was, since Peter was a precious prince who was raised in the Imperial Family, she often caused an accident. There was a time when she tried to sell jewelry owned by the Imperial Family to a jeweler to add money for buying a house, and they barely caught her in front of the store’s door.
Perhaps, if Joseph, who became a free body after completing training, hadn’t found out and come to where Kathleen was through Peter, Kathleen would be suffering all the time.
“Anyway, I’m Luci’s uncle or aunt, so I’m closer than Joseph.”
“Sure you are. Oh, you didn’t touch the oven this time, right? We still don’t have a lot in the house, so you shouldn’t destroy the ones we have.”
“Oh well, aren’t you annoying? Did you only learn nagging at the Temple?”
Seeing the two of them arguing, Kathleen laughed. At first they were polite to each other, but time brought them closer.
Kathleen now felt like she finally had her own family.
“Eunng.”
Luci suddenly woke up and cried. Kathleen froze, and quickly held her child.
“I’ll prepare breakfast. Let’s eat and go quickly.”
“Do it yourself.”
She had to return to the Imperial Palace soon so food was not important. Peter was preoccupied with looking at her cute nephew. Eventually, Kathleen handed Luci over and went to the kitchen to help prepare the meal.
“Oh my gosh, I was wondering why it was so noisy, but there was a nice guest!”
Mrs. Anderson, who lived next door, shouted and pushed her face through an open window slit with a basket of fresh cherries by her side. Kathleen opened the door and greeted her warmly.
“Mrs. Anderson! Come on in.”
“I got some cherries from Browning’s farm over there because they said it was a bountiful harvest. Let’s eat together. But finally, the boy’s father is here, right?”
“What?”
“Ah, that person! I’ve seen you sneak in and out here a long time ago. I heard you bought milk and eggs from the farm in the morning? Are you finally settling down?”
In such a small town, rumors spread quickly. Worried about Kathleen’s condition, Joseph sneaked in once a month, and then came and went openly around the time her childbirth was imminent.
She gave birth to a baby three years after she settled in town, so to those who didn’t know she was of fairy blood, they would think she had a baby a year ago. In addition, the only men circling around were Joseph or Peter, so narrowing down the candidates to them was not a huge leap.
Kathleen didn’t say anything to her, and she smiled vaguely. She felt sorry for the sudden corruption of the faithful priest.
“That, Mrs., that’s not it.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
Just as she was about to explain the situation, Joseph interrupted her.
“Now I’m going to try to settle down here too.”
“Oh, good thinking! You now have a child, but you should have actually done that sooner.”
Mrs. Anderson slapped Joseph on the back, satisfied that he was finally doing his job. Joseph’s brow twitched because her hands were hot.
“By the way, does your son’s hair color resemble his father’s?”
“I guess so? Babies change a lot as they grow up.”
“Joseph, I’m sorry.”
Kathleen whispered while the woman was preoccupied with Luci.
“It’s fine. I was the one who lied first.”
“But if there is even a rumor, your priesthood, it will become a problem.”
“It doesn’t matter. Didn’t I tell you before? It is my calling to help the weak.”
He cut her words softly and resolutely, as if he didn’t want to listen anymore.
“I chose you.”
***
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