If I Can't Be Your Wife
***
***
“She’s still the same. She ran away again.”
Alexis, who was concentrating on Count Schenberg, heard the voices of the ladies passing by.
“She still hasn’t changed after all, has she?”
“I know, right. She looked so arrogant, so I thought I’d try talking to her.”
They covered their mouths with fans as they whispered and giggled. It wasn’t clear who the sarcastic words were about, but he instinctively seemed to know.
“Your Grace, so if you go on an expedition this time, the formation of the army and the supply line……”
At the same time, those around Alexis raised their voices, assuming the Duke of Walten’s participation on the southern front as if it were already decided. The differences between the two sides could not be narrowed before the opinions of the parties concerned were expressed.
Alexis didn’t care about how his participation was concluded. He made his way through the vassals, pretending to pick up a glass of champagne from the serving attendant, and listened to the ladies’ conversation.
“I heard that it was born on a local estate. Did you hear?”
“Of course. No one has seen the child except the Duke, so isn’t the rumor true that he doesn’t have the blood of the Imperial Family?”
“Perhaps the person who filled her belly was of Northern descent, like her. If that’s the case, then that would explain why no one has seen him. Shall we go and take a peek?”
“That’s fine. Didn’t she say she’d go to the break room?”
He felt the blood flowing through his veins go cold. Count Schenberg, whom he had been chasing with his eyes, disappeared among the crowd, but he was no longer the problem.
Alexis followed the ladies silently.
The break room was at the end of a long corridor that passed through the terrace. Alexis stopped them in the middle of the corridor.
“Oh my gosh, sir.”
“I see you, Your Grace.”
When Alexis holding a glass of champagne stepped forward, the ladies seemed flustered.
“I have a question for you.”
It was funny how they looked at him in anticipation. The fluttering fan and the crests embroidered on the gloves were so crude that it was hard to tell which family they belonged to.
How dare you.
Alexis emptied the glass in one breath and threw it to the floor to calm his anger that was starting to spread like wildfire.
Their faces froze at the sound of the crystal glass breaking sharply.
“Did she run away often?”
“Pardon? What do you mean by that……”
“Kathleen Walten, I’m asking if she often ran away from social gatherings.”
When asked about her schedule one day, Alsdorf said that she had no set schedule. That was impossible for a member of Walten, which was not a low-ranking family, and was a branch of the Imperial Family that held the title of a duke.
Alexis thought it was Kathleen’s choice. Either she followed the empress’ instructions, or she refrained from her social activities because she was wary of the empress.
But now he knew.
Kathleen was completely alienated from the social circles. And it was clear why.
‘Because I turned a blind eye.’
It hurt as if he had swallowed a knife. He himself raised her to the duchess seat. He took her, who had fled, and demanded that she live as his shield.
Ironically, he didn’t know until now. That the sword Kathleen had been struck with while she sat in the duchess post was no different from the sword he had been stabbed with on the battlefield.
“That’s right. The duchess didn’t say much and would always leave first.”
“That’s right. Perhaps, because she’s from the North, she wasn’t used to the social world and was particularly bad at adapting as the duchess.”
“It seemed like she had left today as well, so we were just about to visit her.”
“Yes, we were going to convince her to come back.”
Their skills in slandering Kathleen in an underhanded way while pretending to care for her was praiseworthy. He felt like he was going to vomit if he saw their faces any longer.
“Yes, I see.”
Alexis moved closer.
“So you are looking down on the Imperial Family?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Didn’t you just say it with your mouth? The Marquis of Cavir is pitying Walten, the Imperial Family?”
“P-pity no, I-I’m simply…”
Perhaps not knowing how her family was recognized, one of the ladies spoke gibberish and hurriedly tried to hide the pattern on the fan, but it was useless.
“The Cavir family is leading the disruption of the order in the Empire.”
Alexis dropped the Marchioness’ fan and trampled on it. The fan’s ribs broke weakly and the silk as thin as a butterfly’s wing was torn. Marchioness Cavir’s face turned white at the sight of him destroying the object containing the Marquis’ crest without blinking.
“Count* Devion must be wiser than the Temple itself, is that why he dared to say something about my successor’s qualifications?”
“Y-Your Grace. N-No, it’s not that.”
“If the son of the Duchess of Walten is not supposed to be Walten’s heir, then tell me who should? I will listen to the opinion of Count Devion myself.”
“I, I was wrong, Your Grace. I seemed to have lost my mind for a moment and said such nonsense. I just thought that the words of Marchioness Cavir were true……”
[T/N: *He’s talking to the Countess but he’s implying that it’s her husband’s opinion]
Countess Devion frantically said.
“The Marquis and the Marchioness secretly forced us to sympathize, so we had no choice but to agree. I wasn’t really thinking that……”
He snatched the silk gloves engraved with the Count’s crest off the Countess’ hand and threw them away. The gloves fell into a puddle of rainwater, splattering ugly stains on the ladies’ dresses.
Alexis glanced at the trembling ladies up and down. He wanted to cut off their heads, but because it was a banquet in the Imperial Palace, he had to come disarmed.
He rang the bell hanging on the central wall of the corridor and called an attendant.
“Your Grace, the Duke of Walten. You called?”
After a while, the attendant appeared and saw the Duke of Walten facing the two anxious ladies, but he quietly lowered his head.
“Inform the members of the Imperial Court Council. Two families who would organize the advance squad for the southern expedition have been chosen.”
At his words, the ladies’ faces froze in shock. While they did not know politics well, they immediately understood what he meant.
It wasn’t that long ago when the southern immigrants, fighting in a savage and ferocious way, declared war on the capital. Trivellian had not yet decided on a full-scale conquest, and nearby lords were blocking them with private soldiers. In such a situation, it was suicide to be part of an advance squad to suppress them.
If it were someone else’s words, it would be taken simply as an opinion, but the opinion of the Duke of Walten, who was unofficially regarded as the Commander of the Southern campaign, was a different matter. Moreover, since he was a member of the Imperial Family, the Cavir and Devion houses would not be able to protest.
Alexis picked up the broken fan and dirtied gloves and handed them to the attendant.
“Marquis Cavir and Count Devion volunteered.”
No one would be able to reverse Duke Walten’s words since there are even objects with the families’ crests engraved on them. The ladies cried and knelt down.
“Your Grace, Your Grace! Please, please take your words back. I made a mistake!”
“I was jealous of the duchess and spread rumors. Never again, never again! So please, please, not the campaign…”
He glared at the hesitant servant with an unchanging face.
“What are you still doing here?”
“Oh, yes!”
The servant quickly ran into the banquet hall and disappeared. Alexis bent one knee and looked down at the weeping ladies.
“Are you already crying just because your families are going to war? We haven’t even started organizing the supply lines for military supplies yet.”
The weeping of the ladies ceased.
“If your husbands are killed by a sword on the battlefield and your sons starve to death, they’ll be able to meet in another world soon. Don’t you think so?”
[T/N: He’s saying that the military supplies will be coming from their families too so they’d be bled dry hence starve.]
They began to gasp as if they could not breathe when he said that their husbands lives will be taken as well as all of their family’s properties.
“Come to think of it, it wouldn’t be bad to show my generosity since I have become a father myself.”
Alexis said, wiping the dust off the tip of his sleeve.
“If the social world becomes different from what it is now, I would be inclined to spare your sons.”
“I, I will do it!”
Marchioness Cavir and Countess Devion rose to their feet.
“I will make all the rumors about the successor of Walten disappear!”
“No one will ever be disrespectful to the duchess!”
If a beast that rolls in the mud was useful, he was willing to pour a cup of stinking water. Alexis nodded as if he had released a hound in the field.
“Do it.”
The ladies ran frantically, fixing their tangled hair. Alexis took his steps again and in a calm mood.
‘There wasn’t even one.’
Given her money and status, he thought she could go anywhere and do anything, but even with those rights she was powerless.
At Trivellian, Kathleen was always an uninvited guest.
‘That’s why she gave her heart to that b*stard.’
He suddenly thought of that. A woman that was in his hands but he never looked at. A woman who got rid of her heart that embraced him and saw someone else.
Although he had already disappeared and his whereabouts were unknown [Joseph], he [Alexis] was overcome with the desire to get rid of him. He would rather put him in an advance squad and send him to the South. If only he could get the heartbroken Kathleen back after making him disappear from this world…….
He stopped walking because his thoughts had been going to the extremes.
Then the voice of an agitated middle-aged man resounded along with the sound of flowing water.
“Y-You! Duchess, duchess, you really are so precious!”
He unknowingly turned to his side. In front of the fountain, Kathleen trembled as her arm was grabbed. The man with his back facing him raised one hand high and was about to slap her on the cheek, his head turned blank.
Alexis ran right away and took the man’s arm off her and threw him into the fountain.
“Aack!”
He smashed his forehead against a piece of marble as he tried to rebel then rolled over and fell into the water.
Light blue eyes that grew startled and captured him. Alexis felt a strange sense of satisfaction the moment those eyes that looked at him contained only him, then anxiety surged again in her trembling silver eyelashes.
“Are you hurt?”
He couldn’t wait for an answer to come, so he raised her small body and looked around.
He thought this woman was a solid shield, but he felt like his head was going to explode every time he thought that her bare body was being dragged to and fro the battlefield.
‘What should I do with you?’
I wish I could have you by chewing and swallowing you. I wish I could hold you in my hand and never let go. Then I would be able to wrap myself around you and give you comfort.
Three years ago, when I abandoned that opportunity, I was a pathetic piece of trash.
Alexis Walten had no way to calm his burning insides.
Chapter 43: 43
***
“She’s still the same. She ran away again.”
Alexis, who was concentrating on Count Schenberg, heard the voices of the ladies passing by.
“She still hasn’t changed after all, has she?”
“I know, right. She looked so arrogant, so I thought I’d try talking to her.”
They covered their mouths with fans as they whispered and giggled. It wasn’t clear who the sarcastic words were about, but he instinctively seemed to know.
“Your Grace, so if you go on an expedition this time, the formation of the army and the supply line……”
At the same time, those around Alexis raised their voices, assuming the Duke of Walten’s participation on the southern front as if it were already decided. The differences between the two sides could not be narrowed before the opinions of the parties concerned were expressed.
Alexis didn’t care about how his participation was concluded. He made his way through the vassals, pretending to pick up a glass of champagne from the serving attendant, and listened to the ladies’ conversation.
“I heard that it was born on a local estate. Did you hear?”
“Of course. No one has seen the child except the Duke, so isn’t the rumor true that he doesn’t have the blood of the Imperial Family?”
“Perhaps the person who filled her belly was of Northern descent, like her. If that’s the case, then that would explain why no one has seen him. Shall we go and take a peek?”
“That’s fine. Didn’t she say she’d go to the break room?”
He felt the blood flowing through his veins go cold. Count Schenberg, whom he had been chasing with his eyes, disappeared among the crowd, but he was no longer the problem.
Alexis followed the ladies silently.
The break room was at the end of a long corridor that passed through the terrace. Alexis stopped them in the middle of the corridor.
“Oh my gosh, sir.”
“I see you, Your Grace.”
When Alexis holding a glass of champagne stepped forward, the ladies seemed flustered.
It was funny how they looked at him in anticipation. The fluttering fan and the crests embroidered on the gloves were so crude that it was hard to tell which family they belonged to.
How dare you.
Alexis emptied the glass in one breath and threw it to the floor to calm his anger that was starting to spread like wildfire.
Their faces froze at the sound of the crystal glass breaking sharply.
“Did she run away often?”
“Pardon? What do you mean by that……”
“Kathleen Walten, I’m asking if she often ran away from social gatherings.”
When asked about her schedule one day, Alsdorf said that she had no set schedule. That was impossible for a member of Walten, which was not a low-ranking family, and was a branch of the Imperial Family that held the title of a duke.
Alexis thought it was Kathleen’s choice. Either she followed the empress’ instructions, or she refrained from her social activities because she was wary of the empress.
But now he knew.
Kathleen was completely alienated from the social circles. And it was clear why.
‘Because I turned a blind eye.’
It hurt as if he had swallowed a knife. He himself raised her to the duchess seat. He took her, who had fled, and demanded that she live as his shield.
Ironically, he didn’t know until now. That the sword Kathleen had been struck with while she sat in the duchess post was no different from the sword he had been stabbed with on the battlefield.
“That’s right. The duchess didn’t say much and would always leave first.”
“That’s right. Perhaps, because she’s from the North, she wasn’t used to the social world and was particularly bad at adapting as the duchess.”
“It seemed like she had left today as well, so we were just about to visit her.”
“Yes, we were going to convince her to come back.”
Their skills in slandering Kathleen in an underhanded way while pretending to care for her was praiseworthy. He felt like he was going to vomit if he saw their faces any longer.
Alexis moved closer.
“So you are looking down on the Imperial Family?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Didn’t you just say it with your mouth? The Marquis of Cavir is pitying Walten, the Imperial Family?”
“P-pity no, I-I’m simply…”
Perhaps not knowing how her family was recognized, one of the ladies spoke gibberish and hurriedly tried to hide the pattern on the fan, but it was useless.
“The Cavir family is leading the disruption of the order in the Empire.”
Alexis dropped the Marchioness’ fan and trampled on it. The fan’s ribs broke weakly and the silk as thin as a butterfly’s wing was torn. Marchioness Cavir’s face turned white at the sight of him destroying the object containing the Marquis’ crest without blinking.
“Count* Devion must be wiser than the Temple itself, is that why he dared to say something about my successor’s qualifications?”
“Y-Your Grace. N-No, it’s not that.”
“If the son of the Duchess of Walten is not supposed to be Walten’s heir, then tell me who should? I will listen to the opinion of Count Devion myself.”
“I, I was wrong, Your Grace. I seemed to have lost my mind for a moment and said such nonsense. I just thought that the words of Marchioness Cavir were true……”
[T/N: *He’s talking to the Countess but he’s implying that it’s her husband’s opinion]
Countess Devion frantically said.
“The Marquis and the Marchioness secretly forced us to sympathize, so we had no choice but to agree. I wasn’t really thinking that……”
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“You agreed with the insulting and disparaging remarks towards the Imperial Family so you are of no fault? I’m starting to doubt your intelligence.”He snatched the silk gloves engraved with the Count’s crest off the Countess’ hand and threw them away. The gloves fell into a puddle of rainwater, splattering ugly stains on the ladies’ dresses.
Alexis glanced at the trembling ladies up and down. He wanted to cut off their heads, but because it was a banquet in the Imperial Palace, he had to come disarmed.
He rang the bell hanging on the central wall of the corridor and called an attendant.
After a while, the attendant appeared and saw the Duke of Walten facing the two anxious ladies, but he quietly lowered his head.
“Inform the members of the Imperial Court Council. Two families who would organize the advance squad for the southern expedition have been chosen.”
At his words, the ladies’ faces froze in shock. While they did not know politics well, they immediately understood what he meant.
It wasn’t that long ago when the southern immigrants, fighting in a savage and ferocious way, declared war on the capital. Trivellian had not yet decided on a full-scale conquest, and nearby lords were blocking them with private soldiers. In such a situation, it was suicide to be part of an advance squad to suppress them.
If it were someone else’s words, it would be taken simply as an opinion, but the opinion of the Duke of Walten, who was unofficially regarded as the Commander of the Southern campaign, was a different matter. Moreover, since he was a member of the Imperial Family, the Cavir and Devion houses would not be able to protest.
Alexis picked up the broken fan and dirtied gloves and handed them to the attendant.
“Marquis Cavir and Count Devion volunteered.”
No one would be able to reverse Duke Walten’s words since there are even objects with the families’ crests engraved on them. The ladies cried and knelt down.
“Your Grace, Your Grace! Please, please take your words back. I made a mistake!”
“I was jealous of the duchess and spread rumors. Never again, never again! So please, please, not the campaign…”
He glared at the hesitant servant with an unchanging face.
“What are you still doing here?”
“Oh, yes!”
The servant quickly ran into the banquet hall and disappeared. Alexis bent one knee and looked down at the weeping ladies.
“Are you already crying just because your families are going to war? We haven’t even started organizing the supply lines for military supplies yet.”
The weeping of the ladies ceased.
“If your husbands are killed by a sword on the battlefield and your sons starve to death, they’ll be able to meet in another world soon. Don’t you think so?”
[T/N: He’s saying that the military supplies will be coming from their families too so they’d be bled dry hence starve.]
They began to gasp as if they could not breathe when he said that their husbands lives will be taken as well as all of their family’s properties.
Alexis said, wiping the dust off the tip of his sleeve.
“If the social world becomes different from what it is now, I would be inclined to spare your sons.”
“I, I will do it!”
Marchioness Cavir and Countess Devion rose to their feet.
“I will make all the rumors about the successor of Walten disappear!”
“No one will ever be disrespectful to the duchess!”
If a beast that rolls in the mud was useful, he was willing to pour a cup of stinking water. Alexis nodded as if he had released a hound in the field.
“Do it.”
The ladies ran frantically, fixing their tangled hair. Alexis took his steps again and in a calm mood.
‘There wasn’t even one.’
Given her money and status, he thought she could go anywhere and do anything, but even with those rights she was powerless.
At Trivellian, Kathleen was always an uninvited guest.
‘That’s why she gave her heart to that b*stard.’
He suddenly thought of that. A woman that was in his hands but he never looked at. A woman who got rid of her heart that embraced him and saw someone else.
Although he had already disappeared and his whereabouts were unknown [Joseph], he [Alexis] was overcome with the desire to get rid of him. He would rather put him in an advance squad and send him to the South. If only he could get the heartbroken Kathleen back after making him disappear from this world…….
He stopped walking because his thoughts had been going to the extremes.
Then the voice of an agitated middle-aged man resounded along with the sound of flowing water.
“Y-You! Duchess, duchess, you really are so precious!”
He unknowingly turned to his side. In front of the fountain, Kathleen trembled as her arm was grabbed. The man with his back facing him raised one hand high and was about to slap her on the cheek, his head turned blank.
“Aack!”
He smashed his forehead against a piece of marble as he tried to rebel then rolled over and fell into the water.
Light blue eyes that grew startled and captured him. Alexis felt a strange sense of satisfaction the moment those eyes that looked at him contained only him, then anxiety surged again in her trembling silver eyelashes.
“Are you hurt?”
He couldn’t wait for an answer to come, so he raised her small body and looked around.
He thought this woman was a solid shield, but he felt like his head was going to explode every time he thought that her bare body was being dragged to and fro the battlefield.
‘What should I do with you?’
I wish I could have you by chewing and swallowing you. I wish I could hold you in my hand and never let go. Then I would be able to wrap myself around you and give you comfort.
Three years ago, when I abandoned that opportunity, I was a pathetic piece of trash.
Alexis Walten had no way to calm his burning insides.
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