If I Can't Be Your Wife
***
***
“The Crown Prince has arrived, Your Grace.”
“This early?”
Alexis, who was reviewing the report on the construction results of the Mullen Castle and the plan for the operation of the estate, frowned slightly.
“Tell him to come back later. Kathleen hasn’t even finished eating yet.”
He thought she wouldn’t accept it if she was forced to have a meal together without an appointment. But Alsdorf coughed and spoke again.
“He said that he came to see you, not Madame.”
“Why?”
“He didn’t say anything more than that….”
Before Alsdorf could finish speaking, the office door opened and Peter rushed in.
“Good morning, brother.
Whatever it was must be so good considering how bright the smile on his lips was. Even his eyes were smiling.
“I guess you’re not going to throw me out seeing this look on my face, would you?”
The morning sun shone on his dark blonde hair as he sat on the couch in Alexis’ office at will. He was so carefree for a person who had come to the house of his half-brother who had a knife on his parents’ neck.
“I came here on my own, so I’ll leave on my own.”
Alexis let go of the quill and gestured to Alsdorf. The indifferent gaze of the knight who followed him as an escort met his eyes for a moment and then slipped away. Alsdorf took him out of the office, and Alexis turned to Peter.
“What brings you here?”
“I want to have breakfast with my brother.”
“You’re doing something you’ve never done before.”
“I want to try it from now on.”
Peter leaned comfortably on the armrest and added.
“I don’t think I’ve ever done that with my brother.”
“Why did you come all the way here?”
“If I invited you to the Imperial Palace, you wouldn’t have come.”
The monotonous tone of voice trembled a little.
“That’s why I came. In person. I entrusted my back to the escort knight sent to my mother.”
Alexis sat in front of his desk and looked down at Peter who was sitting at a distance.
He’s saying he knows. Definitely.
Otherwise, there’s no way he would have brought the escort knight that I planted in the Empress’ Palace.
“I really liked the worksheet. I don’t want to change it.”
Peter said as if making an excuse. Alexis placed his interlaced hands on the desk.
“I don’t know why you’re telling me this.”
“I thought you’d be curious. You’re still my older brother.”
“You got it wrong. But there is something else I’m curious about.”
He said as he watched his half-brother’s smile fade a little.
“The unrest in the South seems to have subsided. It must be Count Schenberg’s doing.”
“Yes. He chose to be loyal to the Empire. It is fortunate for us.”
“It’s a peace that won’t last long.”
“It was the best option for me. I can minimize the backlash of the nobles without having my brother participate.”
“If it was an arranged marriage, the bond would have lasted longer.”
“That’s something I haven’t thought of yet.”
“The more you do this, the more suspicious you become.”
Alexis cut him off coldly.
“You have to hurry and get engaged more than anyone else, but you always refuse for various reasons. Besides, you go to the Duke’s house whenever you have time, what rumors do you think will spread?”
“… Brother, what are you talking about now? Kathleen, no, are you doubting my relationship with my sister-in-law?”
“You helped her escape, and you closed your eyes to her having a child with another man. Even though that b*st*rd is gone, you’re still hovering around, so what do you want me to think?”
For Alexis, Peter was an existence that he would never cross. However, that did not mean that he[Peter] was someone who would not cross over what was his[Alexis].
A long time ago, he was surprised when he saw those golden eyes and doubt sprouted and reared its head up.
“It’s a misunderstanding. I never felt that way about her!”
“Then there is no reason to avoid marriage. Tell me the real reason for rejecting the Schenberg girl and not an obvious lie.”
“Lady Kiana does not suit me. I refused like a gentleman, and the Schenberg family accepted it. There’s no problem.”
“Are you saying that there’s no problem with your avoidance since the empress would obsess over my blood instead of yours?”
Peter’s mouth closed.
In the midst of silence, the office door opened and Alsdorf entered. He quietly took out a light breakfast from the trolley and placed it down on the table.
Hot tea, omelets, pre-meal bread and soup were served. There was only one tableware.
Alexis’ share wasn’t brought out and the trolley went out again.
“I don’t want to sit face to face. You said you were here to eat, so eat.”
Peter licked his lips and grabbed the spoon, but soon put it back down again.
“Actually, I’m here to apologize.”
“……”
“I know what my mother has done to Brother. I’m also aware that just because I said a few words doesn’t erase what happened. But I felt that I still had to do it.”
Alexis reviewed the report again without a single expression on his face.
“What should I do?”
Peter continued.
“Should I give Brother the throne?”
The low voice was even muffled. Eventually Alexis closed the papers aloud and stared at him.
“You don’t have to do anything.”
The words he heard were cold.
“No one forced you to apologize or give up.”
“But, Brother.”
Alexis slowly rose from his seat and faced Peter.
“Didn’t you learn imperial etiquette? A prince never bows his head when negotiating.”
“That doesn’t apply to us. I am not yet an emperor, and my brother is not an enemy.”
Despite Peter’s protest, Alexis remained unmoved.
“There is no way you, who have been the Crown Prince since birth, can’t give up on becoming the Emperor. Even if you give up your status, you can’t give up your aspirations.”
Alexis handed the spoon back to his half-brother, who stared blankly.
“Have breakfast like you wanted and go back. Don’t come back again.”
“…..”
“We shouldn’t get involved with each other.”
Slowly, Peter’s head lowered. Then the office door swung open and Alsdorf ran in.
“Your Grace, something has happened!”
His face, which never lost composure, was pale white. However, seeing Peter’s gaze, Alexis said firmly.
“The situation in the house is reported after the outside guest returns.”
“But, Your Grace. It’s the Young Master. You should go see him.”
Alexis was out the door before the butler could finish speaking. His gait was so fast that even the wind could be felt blowing. Alsdorf followed him in a hurry.
Count Schenberg, who was waiting outside the office with the escort knight, raised his head.
“Are you done talking, Your Highness?”
Count Schenberg was waiting so that he could explain the annulment of the marriage arrangement. But without even being able to step into the office, the duke came out. He passed by without making eye contact with him who stood outside the door.
“I only heard for a second, but what happened?”
“It’s the duke’s private business so the Count doesn’t have to worry about it. The talk about the arranged marriage went well.”
Peter got up from his seat, hiding his confusion. He was a little worried that something happened to Luci, but recalling his older brother’s face who asked about him and Kathleen, he couldn’t.
“We’re going back.”
“Okay. But, Your Highness, I have a question for you.”
“I don’t think you have to say that here. I’ll listen to it next time.”
Peter took a deep breath and left the office. The walk through the hallway looked very tiring unlike when he came, so Count Schenberg shut his mouth for now.
But his doubts did not disappear. He glanced in the direction the Duke Walten was heading.
‘The color of your eyes are subtly different.’
When they met at a party, the lights were dim and he didn’t notice. And since it was the first time he had seen someone of the imperial bloodline, he thought nothing of it.
However, a close comparison with the eyes of the Crown Prince revealed a subtle difference, although it was impossible to pinpoint it. Even though they were half-brothers, it should have looked the same as they had inherited the symbol of the Trivellian imperial family.
‘The Duke of Walten’s are a little more……’
An ambiguous difference that was difficult to point out bothered him. He must have seen or heard it somewhere, but he couldn’t remember.
“Count Schenberg, what are you doing?”
Peter’s voice echoed from downstairs.
“Coming!”
Deciding to think about the affairs of the crown prince and the duke later, he hurried down the stairs.
***
“He’s asleep now.”
After Dr. Cabel finished his examination, he sighed in relief and withdrew.
“It’s a relief that you placed him on the bed right away when the convulsions occurred. Children under the age of 5 can often experience these convulsions. It’s not uncommon, and it can get better as he grows up, so don’t worry too much.”
Kathleen barely nodded her head. She wanted to ask if he was really okay or if he had some other illness, but her throat was blocked and no words came out.
“It can get better as he grows older. Tch. Then we can’t be relieved right now.”
Alexis retorted, clicking his tongue.
“Didn’t you say that he was healthy without any problems when you first checked him?”
“Y-Yes, he was. However, in the case of infants, it is true that a detailed diagnosis is difficult. If there are no major problems on the outside, most of the time, we figure it out as they grow up.”
“That’s for ordinary children. Are you going to look after an heir using such an ambiguous standard?”
“N-No. How could I neglect the young master?”
“Then explain it in detail. ‘It might be okay’. Besides these words, how do we take care of the child and what other symptoms other than convulsions can occur.”
He tenaciously inquired about the child’s condition and Dr. Cabel gave detailed answers while sweating. Only then was Kathleen able to calm her startled heart and ask Dr. Cabel for more of this and that.
While Kathleen questioned, Alexis gave the orders to the old butler.
“We need to hire more doctors. Find a doctor who specializes in children.”
“Yes, my lord.”
Then he beckoned to the weeping Emily.
“It’s too much to take care of the heir alone. I was too short-sighted. You’ll have to serve Kathleen again, and add a maid to take care of the young master, so make a list of people you can trust.”
“Yes, I understand.”
Emily responded quickly, as she too felt she needed more hands to properly take care of Luci.
After speaking, Alexis took a look at the sleeping Luci then left with Dr. Cabel.
Emily walked over to Kathleen, sniffling.
“Madame, are you okay? You must have been very surprised, can I bring you some water?”
“No. I’m fine.”
Kathleen sat at Luci’s bedside and gently stroked his soft hair. It was a relief that it wasn’t a big deal, but her heart ached as if it was breaking because she felt like it was her fault that her child was sick.
“Don’t worry, Madame. Madame acted fast, and Dr. Cabel quickly arrived. It was great that Master made Dr. Cabel stay in the annex… I heard earlier that he will hire more doctors and add more maids.”
“Yes. It’s better to do that.”
If it was before, she would have been reluctant from the start, but when she thought of Luci, she didn’t want to refuse. She was ashamed that she had been arrogant, saying that she would take good care of her child on her own.
“I’m glad that Master cares for him a lot.”
Emily muttered to herself.
“I didn’t expect him to come here right away as soon as he heard that the young master was convulsing.”
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Kathleen didn’t answer, but she saw it as well. As soon as he heard the news, he smashed the door open and ran in.
At least, the look on Alexis’ face she had seen then didn’t look like it was made up.
She stroked her son’s head without saying a word.
Chapter 50: 50
***
“The Crown Prince has arrived, Your Grace.”
“This early?”
Alexis, who was reviewing the report on the construction results of the Mullen Castle and the plan for the operation of the estate, frowned slightly.
“Tell him to come back later. Kathleen hasn’t even finished eating yet.”
He thought she wouldn’t accept it if she was forced to have a meal together without an appointment. But Alsdorf coughed and spoke again.
“He said that he came to see you, not Madame.”
“Why?”
“He didn’t say anything more than that….”
Before Alsdorf could finish speaking, the office door opened and Peter rushed in.
“Good morning, brother.
Whatever it was must be so good considering how bright the smile on his lips was. Even his eyes were smiling.
“I guess you’re not going to throw me out seeing this look on my face, would you?”
The morning sun shone on his dark blonde hair as he sat on the couch in Alexis’ office at will. He was so carefree for a person who had come to the house of his half-brother who had a knife on his parents’ neck.
“I came here on my own, so I’ll leave on my own.”
Alexis let go of the quill and gestured to Alsdorf. The indifferent gaze of the knight who followed him as an escort met his eyes for a moment and then slipped away. Alsdorf took him out of the office, and Alexis turned to Peter.
“What brings you here?”
“I want to have breakfast with my brother.”
“You’re doing something you’ve never done before.”
Peter leaned comfortably on the armrest and added.
“I don’t think I’ve ever done that with my brother.”
“Why did you come all the way here?”
“If I invited you to the Imperial Palace, you wouldn’t have come.”
The monotonous tone of voice trembled a little.
“That’s why I came. In person. I entrusted my back to the escort knight sent to my mother.”
Alexis sat in front of his desk and looked down at Peter who was sitting at a distance.
He’s saying he knows. Definitely.
Otherwise, there’s no way he would have brought the escort knight that I planted in the Empress’ Palace.
“I really liked the worksheet. I don’t want to change it.”
Peter said as if making an excuse. Alexis placed his interlaced hands on the desk.
“I don’t know why you’re telling me this.”
“I thought you’d be curious. You’re still my older brother.”
“You got it wrong. But there is something else I’m curious about.”
He said as he watched his half-brother’s smile fade a little.
“The unrest in the South seems to have subsided. It must be Count Schenberg’s doing.”
“Yes. He chose to be loyal to the Empire. It is fortunate for us.”
“It’s a peace that won’t last long.”
“It was the best option for me. I can minimize the backlash of the nobles without having my brother participate.”
“That’s something I haven’t thought of yet.”
“The more you do this, the more suspicious you become.”
Alexis cut him off coldly.
“You have to hurry and get engaged more than anyone else, but you always refuse for various reasons. Besides, you go to the Duke’s house whenever you have time, what rumors do you think will spread?”
“… Brother, what are you talking about now? Kathleen, no, are you doubting my relationship with my sister-in-law?”
“You helped her escape, and you closed your eyes to her having a child with another man. Even though that b*st*rd is gone, you’re still hovering around, so what do you want me to think?”
For Alexis, Peter was an existence that he would never cross. However, that did not mean that he[Peter] was someone who would not cross over what was his[Alexis].
A long time ago, he was surprised when he saw those golden eyes and doubt sprouted and reared its head up.
“It’s a misunderstanding. I never felt that way about her!”
“Then there is no reason to avoid marriage. Tell me the real reason for rejecting the Schenberg girl and not an obvious lie.”
“Lady Kiana does not suit me. I refused like a gentleman, and the Schenberg family accepted it. There’s no problem.”
“Are you saying that there’s no problem with your avoidance since the empress would obsess over my blood instead of yours?”
Peter’s mouth closed.
In the midst of silence, the office door opened and Alsdorf entered. He quietly took out a light breakfast from the trolley and placed it down on the table.
Hot tea, omelets, pre-meal bread and soup were served. There was only one tableware.
Alexis’ share wasn’t brought out and the trolley went out again.
“I don’t want to sit face to face. You said you were here to eat, so eat.”
Peter licked his lips and grabbed the spoon, but soon put it back down again.
“Actually, I’m here to apologize.”
“I know what my mother has done to Brother. I’m also aware that just because I said a few words doesn’t erase what happened. But I felt that I still had to do it.”
Alexis reviewed the report again without a single expression on his face.
“What should I do?”
Peter continued.
“Should I give Brother the throne?”
The low voice was even muffled. Eventually Alexis closed the papers aloud and stared at him.
“You don’t have to do anything.”
The words he heard were cold.
“No one forced you to apologize or give up.”
“But, Brother.”
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“Know that the emperor’s seat is of no use to me. The same goes for your apology.”Alexis slowly rose from his seat and faced Peter.
“Didn’t you learn imperial etiquette? A prince never bows his head when negotiating.”
“That doesn’t apply to us. I am not yet an emperor, and my brother is not an enemy.”
Despite Peter’s protest, Alexis remained unmoved.
“There is no way you, who have been the Crown Prince since birth, can’t give up on becoming the Emperor. Even if you give up your status, you can’t give up your aspirations.”
Alexis handed the spoon back to his half-brother, who stared blankly.
“Have breakfast like you wanted and go back. Don’t come back again.”
“…..”
Slowly, Peter’s head lowered. Then the office door swung open and Alsdorf ran in.
“Your Grace, something has happened!”
His face, which never lost composure, was pale white. However, seeing Peter’s gaze, Alexis said firmly.
“The situation in the house is reported after the outside guest returns.”
“But, Your Grace. It’s the Young Master. You should go see him.”
Alexis was out the door before the butler could finish speaking. His gait was so fast that even the wind could be felt blowing. Alsdorf followed him in a hurry.
Count Schenberg, who was waiting outside the office with the escort knight, raised his head.
“Are you done talking, Your Highness?”
Count Schenberg was waiting so that he could explain the annulment of the marriage arrangement. But without even being able to step into the office, the duke came out. He passed by without making eye contact with him who stood outside the door.
“I only heard for a second, but what happened?”
“It’s the duke’s private business so the Count doesn’t have to worry about it. The talk about the arranged marriage went well.”
Peter got up from his seat, hiding his confusion. He was a little worried that something happened to Luci, but recalling his older brother’s face who asked about him and Kathleen, he couldn’t.
“We’re going back.”
“Okay. But, Your Highness, I have a question for you.”
“I don’t think you have to say that here. I’ll listen to it next time.”
Peter took a deep breath and left the office. The walk through the hallway looked very tiring unlike when he came, so Count Schenberg shut his mouth for now.
But his doubts did not disappear. He glanced in the direction the Duke Walten was heading.
‘The color of your eyes are subtly different.’
When they met at a party, the lights were dim and he didn’t notice. And since it was the first time he had seen someone of the imperial bloodline, he thought nothing of it.
‘The Duke of Walten’s are a little more……’
An ambiguous difference that was difficult to point out bothered him. He must have seen or heard it somewhere, but he couldn’t remember.
“Count Schenberg, what are you doing?”
Peter’s voice echoed from downstairs.
“Coming!”
Deciding to think about the affairs of the crown prince and the duke later, he hurried down the stairs.
***
“He’s asleep now.”
After Dr. Cabel finished his examination, he sighed in relief and withdrew.
“It’s a relief that you placed him on the bed right away when the convulsions occurred. Children under the age of 5 can often experience these convulsions. It’s not uncommon, and it can get better as he grows up, so don’t worry too much.”
Kathleen barely nodded her head. She wanted to ask if he was really okay or if he had some other illness, but her throat was blocked and no words came out.
“It can get better as he grows older. Tch. Then we can’t be relieved right now.”
Alexis retorted, clicking his tongue.
“Didn’t you say that he was healthy without any problems when you first checked him?”
“Y-Yes, he was. However, in the case of infants, it is true that a detailed diagnosis is difficult. If there are no major problems on the outside, most of the time, we figure it out as they grow up.”
“That’s for ordinary children. Are you going to look after an heir using such an ambiguous standard?”
“N-No. How could I neglect the young master?”
“Then explain it in detail. ‘It might be okay’. Besides these words, how do we take care of the child and what other symptoms other than convulsions can occur.”
He tenaciously inquired about the child’s condition and Dr. Cabel gave detailed answers while sweating. Only then was Kathleen able to calm her startled heart and ask Dr. Cabel for more of this and that.
“We need to hire more doctors. Find a doctor who specializes in children.”
“Yes, my lord.”
Then he beckoned to the weeping Emily.
“It’s too much to take care of the heir alone. I was too short-sighted. You’ll have to serve Kathleen again, and add a maid to take care of the young master, so make a list of people you can trust.”
“Yes, I understand.”
Emily responded quickly, as she too felt she needed more hands to properly take care of Luci.
After speaking, Alexis took a look at the sleeping Luci then left with Dr. Cabel.
Emily walked over to Kathleen, sniffling.
“Madame, are you okay? You must have been very surprised, can I bring you some water?”
“No. I’m fine.”
Kathleen sat at Luci’s bedside and gently stroked his soft hair. It was a relief that it wasn’t a big deal, but her heart ached as if it was breaking because she felt like it was her fault that her child was sick.
“Don’t worry, Madame. Madame acted fast, and Dr. Cabel quickly arrived. It was great that Master made Dr. Cabel stay in the annex… I heard earlier that he will hire more doctors and add more maids.”
“Yes. It’s better to do that.”
If it was before, she would have been reluctant from the start, but when she thought of Luci, she didn’t want to refuse. She was ashamed that she had been arrogant, saying that she would take good care of her child on her own.
“I’m glad that Master cares for him a lot.”
Emily muttered to herself.
“I didn’t expect him to come here right away as soon as he heard that the young master was convulsing.”
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Kathleen didn’t answer, but she saw it as well. As soon as he heard the news, he smashed the door open and ran in.
She stroked her son’s head without saying a word.
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