Chapter 109: 95

After indulging my god's whims at three different stalls, we settled on having meat and bean soup for lunch.

It was simple and didn't taste very good, but my god was satisfied.

She's a god who loves simple dishes like this.

I should have been serving up much better food on a regular basis, but I can't seem to get her to develop a taste for good food.

「Evetta-san, I'm here」

「Yes, I've heard about it from the Guild President」

This was my second visit to the Adventurers' Guild today. I went to my person-in-charge to get the requests.

Evetta-san, my person-in-charge, is afraid of cats, so I had left Misuranika-sama at the entrance.

「The first one is this」

She handed me a scroll.

When I unrolled it, I found a map of the city with the location of where the requestor was staying indicated on it. As well as a brief summary of the request.

「This is a request, or more specifically, a consultation request from a greenhorn adventurer. As one of the most prominent novice adventurers, I'm sure you can handle his problems easily」

「A consultation over problems, huh………」

That actually sounds more troublesome.

By the way, the reward is 9 copper coins. That's about 900 yen(just under USD$9) in the modern world. So cheap……

「Well, I'm off then」

「Alright, have a good day. As I'm sure the Guild President has told you, it's important for adventurers to associate with one another. In particular, a good impression of the leader leads to a good impression of the entire party. It doesn't matter how much fame the other members gain, if the leader is no good, then the party as a whole is no good. On the other hand, if the leader is good, then bad behavior by the other members will be tolerated to some degree. That's how important the impression the leader gives off is」

「I'll keep that in mind」

I left the Guild.

After retrieving Misuranika-sama, I went straight to the requestor's place.

But a good impression, huh? That's a tough one.

I’m not afraid of infamy, and I don't seek fame. This "madness" is my strength as an adventurer, but I'd never have thought that the opposite would be required of me. Things are really not going my way.

I guess there's no point feeling depressed about it.

I'll get it over with as fast as I can, and then resume the exploration of the dungeon as soon as possible.

The place the requestor stayed in was in the middle of a residential district. It was an inn two steps better than a stable.

For the amount he's paying me, he sure lives in a nice place.

Or is it because he lives in a nice place that the compensation is so little?

The first floor was a tavern, and since it was noon, it was quite busy. I told the proprietress the name of the requestor, and she gave me the room number of a room on the second floor.

After walking up the stairs, I stopped in front of the door to the room.

I was feeling a little nervous.

I unrolled the scroll and checked the request again.

『There is a matter I'd like to discuss with adventurers of novice level or higher who have two or more women in their party. Details will be given in person』

Was what was written on it.

My party is made up of three guys, me, Shuna, and Otou-san, and three women, Rana, Ea, and Lys(Bel). The A.I.s who support us are female. In addition, the domestic help is also a woman. The child in my care is also a girl. The two gods whom I'm contracted with are also goddesses.

Well, it's pretty much a household of women.

I have some experience when it comes to problems with women.

At the very least, I should be able to handle the problems of a greenhorn adventurer.

I won't let the fact that I was lambasted by my god and the A.I. earlier bother me.

I knocked on the door.

There was no response.

I knocked harder.

「?」

That's weird. I can feel the presence of people inside though.

『Team member Souya, motion detected, there are three people in the room』

「Excuse me」

I opened the door unceremoniously.

What greeted me was a scene of carnage.

A handsome male magician in the middle. A beastkin swordswoman on the left and a female beastkin spy on the right.

The man was being hounded by the two women, and sweat was pouring down his face.

「Oh, Karoro」

I know the woman on the right. She's a tanned cat beastkin, and is both a spy and an adventurer of the Kingdom of Lemuria.

「Oh, Souya. Long time no see-mya」

「Co, could it be that you’re here because of the request?」

The handsome man's face lit up with hope when he saw me.

「Yes, I've received your request from the Adventurers' Guild. My name is Souya」

「Thank the gods! As a matter of fact!! I'm being pressured by two women, as you can see, and I'm currently at a loss as to what to do!!!」

Uwaa. What a pain.

「Why don't you just take responsibility as a man?」

「But that would mean making one of them unhappy. I, you know, want to make both of them happy」

「If you want Mya to be happy, break up with this woman-mya」

「If you want to make Lusha happy, you have to leave this wench」

The beastkin swordswoman has dog-like ears and tail. She looks young, but she's curvy where it counts.

The handsome man pleaded with me.

「Souya-san, this has been going on since last night and we're not getting anywhere! It's affecting my adventuring, and everyone in my party is also appalled by this. Can you do something to help?!」

「Well, there is this method used in my country to resolve such things」

It's a tremendous pain in the neck, so I'll just wrap things up quickly.

As far as I know, this is the fastest way to solve this problem.

「First of all, you two beastkin ladies. Each of you take one of this man's arms, and then pull」

As if saying, "You're not having him", both of them grabbed the handsome man's arms.

For some reason, he really pisses me off.

「The winner will be recognized as his lover」

「What?!」

The handsome man raised his voice……

「Gi, GYAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa!」

……in a scream of pain.

The human tug-of-war had begun.

Even female beastkin are stronger than the average Hemu. I can't call the handsome man a sturdy Hemu even as flattery. He has a slender body and is the type of man who stimulates the protective instincts of strong women.

Well, he probably won't be able to withstand being pulled from both sides by two beastkin.

However, if there is true love, one of them will likely be afraid for him and let go.

I made it sound like the one who let go would lose, but it's the opposite. I'll tell the man to choose the one who let go.

『What kind of lover does something that hurts the one they love?』

I'll wrap things up with that line.

This is called the judgment of Ooka.[1]

It's from a period drama that I'm glad I watched.

Groan,

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Creak,

Pop!

A dull pop rang out.

「Hi, HYGYAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!」

「Eh?」

It was the sound of the man's shoulder being dislocated.

「Let go-mya!」

「You let go!」

「UGYAA!」

The two beastkin got heated up and started kicking each other.

The handsome man between them also got hit by their kicks.

「Ummm」

The handsome man had passed out. He was being jostled about like a ragdoll by the two of them.

This is unexpected.

He’s going to die if this goes on.

「Alright」

I loosened the katana from the scabbard, drew it, and then knocked the two beastkin out with the back of the blade.

The blade settled back into the scabbard smoothly.

Huh, the sword stroke was surprisingly good. Is it because of the purity of only carrying one weapon? Or is it because I was relaxed and didn't exert any unnecessary force? Regardless of the reason, it's an 80 points knockout-strike.

After confirming that all three of them were unconscious, I started searching the room.

「Souya, what are you looking for?」

「I'm looking for a note or a scroll that this man has written on」

Misuranika-sama jumped down from my shoulder and joined the search.

I pulled open the drawers of his desk and went through his bags, but there was a surprising lack of any personal effects or documents belonging to the man.

「This is a bit weird」

「Here, Souya」

Misuranika-sama emerged from under the bed with a piece of parchment in her mouth.

I read it, then exclaimed.

「Aah, I see. So this is the kind of guy he is」

Written on it were the names and descriptions of women, along with the names of the inns where he would meet them. As well as the total amount of money they had given him.

There were 28 victims in all.

Naturally, when there are so many, you'd have to write them all down or you'll probably make a mistake.

「This guy is quite a con man, isn't he?」

『He's the enemy of women』

You're absolutely right.

「Yukikaze, trace his handwriting」

『Roger』

I left the parchment on the floor and the pod traced the letters on it with her analysis laser.

Taking ink, pen, and parchment from the desk……

「Right then, I'm counting on you」

……I put them in the mini-pod’s arms.

『Understood』

First, I had her sign the scroll to indicate that I had completed the request.

There was a blank space for remarks beside the space for the signature, and I had Yukikaze add, "I'm extremely satisfied with how my request was resolved, so I'm adding 10 gold coins to the reward.”

I promptly took 10 gold coins from the handsome man's purse. There was still a lot of money left in it.

Next was to make copies of his parchment.

There had been 30 pieces of parchment in the desk, so I had Yukikaze make that many copies.

「Wow, you can use this trick to run all sorts of scams」

「No no no, Misuranika-sama, as a god, you should be discouraging that kind of behavior」

「I'm the god of misdeeds though?」

「Oh, right」

To be honest, I had forgotten about that side of her.

Admittedly, I could make a fortune by replicating documents or counterfeiting money, but I'm an adventurer, not a con man. I'll definitely get caught and pay the price for it afterwards.

『It's done』

The mini-pod had duplicated all 30 copies by hand in five minutes, which was really fast.

Now, these copies……

「Misuranika-sama, what should we do with these? Though we've made copies, out of consideration for the victims, it might be better to not release them」

「Wow, Souya, I didn't know you could be so considerate」

『Yukikaze is impressed』

「You two, I'm not that insensitive, you know?」

For one thing, I'm always acting with everyone in the party in mind.

「Who was it that suddenly disappeared and made his wife and sister cry? On top of that, you came back with another woman in tow」

『To the casual observer, there's not much difference between that dislocated man and team member Souya』

「That hurts my feelings, by the way」

A lot, at that.

『Yukikaze has a suggestion. Let's keep the original and leave the rest here with the women's names blacked out. Also, let’s leave this warning behind』

Yukikaze dipped the pen into the ink and then wrote something terrifying on the back of one of the copies.

“We will be watching you at all times for any kind of misdeeds. We can tear your xxxx and xxxxx out and stuff them into your mouth at any time. And that's not all. We've designed a form of torture that can easily make you feel like you're being burned alive. Not subjecting you to that right away is nothing more than a whim. If you want to get away with your sins, you must beg forgiveness from all your victims. You must repay them double the amount of money that you've taken from them. But your sins will never be forgiven……… There will be no forgiveness for you………”

Very extreme language was used in some parts, so I left them out.

This is pretty much a blackmail letter, isn't it?

What's more, though it started with "If you want to get away with your sins", that was followed up with "your sins will never be forgiven".

What a scary girl Yukikaze is! I was shown a glimpse of the dark side of A.I.s.

「Well, isn't it fine? Though he was tricked out of his money by his peer, he won't get away with just getting half killed should his misdeeds be exposed. In the worst case, he'll be killed and fed to the monsters in the dungeon」

「So, you're saying that threatening him is nothing compared to the alternative?」

「That's how it is」

If that's what my god says, then so be it. He got what he deserved, I suppose.

Well, that's one request completed.

「At this rate, I'll be done by the end of the day」

I psyched myself up, then moved on to the next one.

[1] Ooka Ichizen is a prime-time period drama which ran from 1970 to 1999(402 episodes) on TBS Japan. It portrays a samurai->magistrate->judge called Ooka Tadasuke(a real person in history) and focuses on how he makes fair judgments with human warmth and kindness. The story in question is about him running into two woman who both claim that a child is theirs. He did as Souya did, and as Souya planned, he declared the woman who let go as the real mother. Yes, this is a story based on the Judgment of Solomon, where it’s almost the same except Solomon offered to cut the child into two so each woman could have half, and the mother quickly said the other women could have the child then. And the term “Judgments of Ooka” from the show is now widely used to refer to judgments/decisions made in a fair manner with kindness and humanity in mind.

……Bet none of you were expecting that it was this kind of request or that it would be completed in this way……

Yukikaze is showing some of that Izora darkness, but in a deadpan manner, unlike Izora’s overbearing manner, which makes it just as funny imo.

Btw, since there isn’t much to talk about, I want to talk about katanas. They are fitted to their scabbards in a way that it’s a very tight fit when completely sheathed, so the katana won’t wriggle and damage the blade or fall out. As a result, you can’t really draw it directly. The typical method is to push it out a bit using the thumb, “loosening it from the scabbard”, before drawing it. You’ve seen this term a few times already and you’ll see it a lot in future as well, so I wanted to take this opportunity to explain it.

Anyway, just a light and funny chapter this time. Also, this may be a bit spoiler-ish, but one of my favorite characters is appearing for the first time next chapter. Don’t miss it!

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