Chapter 8: 5.1

“You have to keep it a secret, nanny.”

“Yes, but in exchange, you should take nutritional supplements.”

I’m not a kid anymore. That’ll be easy.

When I nodded, the nanny immediately prepared nutritional supplements that smelled fishy. When I was young, I used to make a massive fuss every morning because of this.

I sighed.

This was really nothing compared to the strong nutritional supplements I had taken when I was my thirty-year-old self.

It was humiliating that I didn’t have someone who could accompany me in bed for eight years, but what was more humiliating than that was . . .

They were nutritional supplements handed over by relatives of the Logan family, who were worried about me for their own sakes.

“Share it with Gerald.”

“It’s a medicine that’s good for pregnancy. The future of the Logan family is at stake, so you have to take a lot of them. There’s one for Gerald too, make sure to . . .”

I had to look at the sky and strengthen myself.

Even those worries were hurtful to me.

Compared to the nutritional supplements I took then, this was really nothing.

I should have kept the unicorn as a way to look good to everyone.

I sighed again.

Let’s stop thinking about sad memories.

I closed my eyes and drank nutritional supplements.

“Don’t even think about coming in until I tell you to!” Mom shouted.

As the family was large, the mansion was large as well. There was also a small village where knights, maids, and other residents lived. This means that there were many people coming and going. I knew how embarrassing that was for my older brother.

But still, he deserved it.

The nanny shook her head as she saw me giggling.

Alexid sniffled and was kicked out with a notebook that said “I won’t pee in the blanket again.”

I took a glimpse of Alexid’s lonely exit from the garden.

Have a safe trip, my dearest brother.

* * *

By the time Duke Leander, my father, was around, our mansion was designed to become a huge village. It wasn’t the usual mansion that most noblemen had. Outside of the mansion, some of the residents lived together. It was like a small village that had an organized system

The people there helped with the ducal household and were paid.

The stable keepers, cooks, and knights of the mansion— everyone lived in the village outside the mansion.

It would be around there that Alexid was being punished as the wet blankets were scattered there.

How embarrassing must it be for Alexid. The children our age who lived in the village knew who he was! That was the punishment that suited him the most!

Hahaha. I shouldn’t be too good at this!

I spread my arms slowly and yawned. After breakfast, I felt slightly drowsy.

Oh, it must be nice to act like this with nothing else to think of.

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Being eight years old was good for this reason.

Adults have a lot of things to do in accordance with the responsibility they have.

Stop taking so long, Louella Leander.

I always scolded myself back then.

I wonder if there is a need to live the same life as before when I returned to the past as an eight-year-old version of myself.

Can’t I live a better life?

I didn’t want to waste time teasing Alexid like this! First of all, this small and petty revenge has been achieved, and I have to choose my next options wisely.

I chewed on the cookies.

The nanny only gave me one in return for drinking nutritional supplements.

Whew.

This isn’t good! My mind is getting younger as well. I just can’t eat sweets as I please, can I?

Oh, come to think of it, wine comes to mind! A glass of wine would be good for a thirty-year-old woman like me! But then, that’s something I don’t really like drinking in an eight-year old body. Well then, I should just focus on what’s in front of me, right?

What else? Cookies, of course!

I can’t believe I’m saving this small cookie!

If Alexid was next to me, I’d steal his cookies.

I walked down the hallway chewing on cookies.

Of course, there were more things I couldn’t do. I can’t drink juice, or milk, late at night, or I can’t go out at will. I can’t even read romance novels that I love the most!

So what is there for an eight-year-old kid to do? I just have to do my homework and play as I want!

And homework for an 8-year-old is too easy for a 30-year-old, don’t you think?

“First of all . . .”

What’s good about being young?

It means that the 30-year-old me no longer has to worry.

The stress and pressure I had during my marriage with the unicorn disappeared like a bubble. And ultimately, I became a free spirit.

People said that there must be a reason for my lack of children When the supplements I took for pregnancy were supposed to work well.

And I always thought about Gerald. I didn’t want to create any problems for that unicorn man! So I guess, the reason why I failed was always because of me.

Gerald probably didn’t know. He had no idea what I had been through.

As a 30-year-old woman back then, my life was negative and painful.

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Only then did I acknowledge the fact. I just didn’t try to admit it during my marriage with him.

Gerald didn’t love me. He didn’t love me at all.

He was like a cookie who looked tasty. It wasn’t nice being with him at all.

Love.

It was just my wish and illusion. Gerald didn’t love me.

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