Chapter 43: 42. Reflection & Resolution [1]

Around five o'clock in the morning

"GAH!!"

Rei suddenly woke up from a nightmare

"Huff...uhack...gah...!"

Practically hyperventilating, he struggled to catch his breath. Sweat all over over him, a horrible headache prevented him from leaving his room without staggering

Plop! Rei splashed his face with water from the kitchen sink

"Ugh...that's better..."

He glanced at the door to Mabui's room

{Good thing nee-san isn't here today, otherwise she'd freak out}

Going through the patio door to the backyard, he looked up at the moon and began to ponder

{This is third time. Why are these memories coming back to me now, after all this time?}

"Damn it...out of all the dreams I could've..."

Vwoooooooo. The wind picked up

"Haaaa...f*ck it. Notitia!"

[...Zzzzzzz...zzzzz...zzzz]

{The hell? This thing sleeps?}

[Zzzz...zzz...]

"Notitia! Wake your ass up!"

[Uh? Wha? What?! I'm up!]

"About damn time"

[Did I oversleep or something? Wait it's not even morning yet! Why'd you wake me up so early?!]

"I wasn't aware disembodied voices from only God knows where, were even capable of sleeping"

[Ugh...whatever. I'd thought you be sleeping soundly after your island fiasco. What do you want now?]

"I've been having issues"

["Issues"? What kind of "issues" we talking about?]

"The kind that only occur in my bed"

[...]

"What? Do you know something?"

[These "issues" occur whenever you're in your bed?]

"Yeah"

[Haaaa]

"What?"

[Well Rei, despite this world's current technology level...]

"?"

[...they still have pills for those kind of "issues"]

The veins on Rei's temple looked like they were about to pop

"NOT THOSE KINDS OF ISSUES YOU DUMBASS!!!!!!"

After a minute of screaming and ranting from Rei, Notitia gained a grasp of Rei's current predicament

[If this is bothering you so much, why not get a therapist? Or use a Lifeline?]

"Again, those are too important to use up. Especially if this turns out to be just me. That's why I'm asking you"

[If I'm not in Support Mode, I don't see how I can help you much]

"Look, you were the one the transferred me into this body right?"

[More like I simply "oversaw" the process]

{Wait, you didn't do it? Then who...}

[What?]

"...Nothing...I just want to know if possessing this body is the reason I'm having these nightmares"

[Hmmm]

"Does anything come to mind?"

[For starters, these aren't nightmares, they're memories. YOUR memories]

"So?"

[So it stands to reason that the problem stems from "Ray", and not "Rei"]

"As I suspected..."

[But I wonder what the cause was...did you eat too much and get the runs? Pee your pants? Get caught checking yourself out in a mirror?]

"No, no, and no"

[Alright, alright. I was just trying to lighten the mood with some jokes. I mean, have you SEEN your face right now?]

"No. Why? What's wrong with my...!"

Rei looked at his reflection in glass patio door, surprised to see the state his face was in

Pale skin, slightly-red eyes with circles under them, and an overall demeanor that would cause most people to avoid him

"Ugh. That nightmare was worse than I thought if I look like this"

[Actually, you were looking like that before you went to sleep]

"I did?"

[Yup. I guessing your recent mission failure was far worse than it seemed huh]

"No! The failure of the mission didn't really bother me. It's what came after that..."

[What came after?]

"...You should already know"

[Yeah, but YOU need to say it. That's the only way you're gonna get past this]

With frustration, he hesitated a bit before saying what Notitia was egging him on to say

"...My problems with trust"

[And there it is]

"But that's not my-"

[Fault?]

"..."

[Well, you're right. Your issues with trust are certainly not your fault]

"How would you?-"

[I'm gonna take a wild guess and assume the "nightmare" you had was about the first and only time you suffered betrayal]

You are reading story Illumination – A Naruto Fantasy at novel35.com

"?!"

[Don't look so shocked. We...I know everything there is to know about "Dr. Raymond Parker". Including the things you choose NOT to know]

"What does that even-"

[And after that event, you never trusted anyone again]

"Are you saying that was wrong?"

[Am I saying that? Or are you?]

"..."

[It's funny how humans try to justify their reasoning or actions by judging others on their own primitive preconceptions. When the truth is, only a being such as God is qualified to judge another]

{Again...just what the hell is this thing?}

[I'm not God. So I can't tell if your decision to never trust anyone is the correct one. On one hand, by closing yourself off to others you were never met with betrayal again. Allowing you to successfully build up your company and become one of the most wealthiest, and respected scientists on the planet Earth]

{I could never have gotten that far in the terrible situation I was in if I didn't make such a choice}

[However, since you decided not to trust anyone again, you pushed everyone close to you away. Not even family was an exception. So naturally, you didn't let your own co-workers run the checks on the prototype generator you made. Resulting in it blowing up in your face and sending you here]

"So you can't give me an answer"

[There is no correct "answer" or "opinion" from me. Hell, even the solution you come up with will most likely not be the correct one]

"Real helpful..."

[But you know...]

"Hm?"

[What Tango said about information and wisdom was indeed true. You're a genius Rei...but that still doesn't mean you don't have much to learn in this "game" called life]

"Are you suggesting I don't know how live my life properly?"

[Nobody does]

"...What?"

[Knowledge helps you make a living in life, but wisdom....wisdom helps you make a life. And EVERYONE is still trying to beat that "game"]

"...I don't need them, I can take care of myself just fine"

[...No...no you can't]

"And how would you know?"

[Because the moment you no longer require the need to rely on others in this world, is the moment "Project Illumination" ends]

{That's right, the way to beat the "game" is to "survive" everything this world can throw at me...}

"But to trust my life to these...these strangers is..."

[Humph! Rei! Remember your time in Seattle? When you went to the "Chihuly Garden"?]

"...Yeah. I took Sarah and Chris with me. Why?"

[Do you recall how breathtaking it was to see the glass art? How beautiful it was? How awed you and your cousins were?]

Rei chuckled

"One of my fondest memories. That's not really something I could ever forget"

[You see, that glass art...it's like trust itself. Very fragile, very delicate, very easy to break, and once broken...it's never the same again]

"Yeah...I know"

[But what matters is the process that makes it. It doesn't come to one immediately, but rather built over a time. Requiring dedicated care, patience, and most importantly...faith]

"A leap of faith huh"

[Yes. But whether or not you decide to take that leap is up to you. YOU must make the decision]

"..."

[One cannot progress if one doesn't even move]

"..."

[You don't have to go all in...just take it one step at a time]

"..."

[Do not to be blinded by the 'light' that is your perception of the world around you...yet always strive to remain illuminated!]

"..."

[It's time to move forward Raymond]

Finally understanding Notitia's message, Rei expression became healthier as he breathed a sigh of relief. As if a weight was lifted off his shoulders

"Haaaa...I get it"

[Good. You're usually as stubborn as a mule. That's a terrible trait for building relationships ya know. I was wondering if I was even gonna be able to get through to you. Ya cynical bastard]

"Right back to square one. I'd hoped you had become less annoying after hearing you talk so poetically"

[Meh...I'm sleepy]

"Figures"

[And speaking of sleep, I should get back to it, and you should too]

"On that, we agree"

[Mmmmm. Although...since you're not at the academy anymore, it's not like you have to worry about getting up early]

"Hehe...that's one of the...!"

[?]

Instantly thinking back to Tango words, Rei had an epiphany!

{"If you don't show me a better 'introduction' than last time, you're all going back to the academy"}

{"you're all going back to the academy"}

{"back to the academy"}

{"introduction"}

{"academy"}

{...}

[Uhhhhh. Rei?]

"THAT'S IT!!!"

[WHOA! SHIT! DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!!!]

"That's it! I figured it out! I know what Tango wants from me...no...from us!"

[Wait. What?]

"Tango was right. No man is an 'island' anywhere"

Running back inside, Rei put his shoes on and ran to front door

[Wait! Where are you going?!]

Opening the front door with renewed determination

"...To see my team"

MrPrope

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