Illyxa: The Inferno

Chapter 19: Chapter 19: Diplomacy and Piracy


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Rising early, Gragya felt more than a little groggy as she followed the Nagas across the dry grasslands of the upper river valley. They kept low, relying on the memory of the eldest among them to avoid any likely traps or lookouts. By the time the sun finally rose, the force had reached a ridge within sight of the palisades of the main homestead.

“I’ll move ahead,” Gragya said, as the force stayed hidden amongst the shrubs and tall grasses of the ridge. “I can probably get Illyxa out and on to our side… or at least get her out of the way.”

The Naga elder gave a small nod. “I hope she isss asss reasssonable asss you sssay.”

“Well, I don’t know about reasonable,” Gragya replied. “But, she doesn’t like being used as a pawn. She’ll probably want revenge for being lied to.”

“Probably a more reliable trait than being reasssonable,” the elder said.

With that, Gragya turned, about to head off, when the gate to the palisade opened up. The Nagas and Gragya dropped, trying to hide in the grass as a small group emerged from the gate. There were white banners being raised by the group, looking to mostly be scraps of bandaging and other surplus undyed fabrics. The sort of cheap cloth that was the reason why white banners were banners of truce. (While white banners splotted in red were usually considered banners of surrender.)

Watching the mostly small folk group, it was easy to see N’ratha and Hyi standing over them. Looking more closely, Gragya was also able to see Illyxa shouting orders and waving her arms angrily. 

Illyxa then started marching off, down the ridge. Most of the others rushed after her, though Gragya spotted Fuan staying behind. The small and disorganized band of Halflets and Kobolds scrambled along, not used to keeping up with tall folks like N’ratha or Hyi. Nor were they used to keeping up with Illyxa when she was in a hurry. 

Eventually, she came to a stop beside the river, and began yelling some more orders, her voice occasionally carrying on the wind so that Gragya could just barely hear her. Not enough to make out anything she was saying, though.

“What do you think she’sss up to?” the Naga elder asked.

“Maybe she managed to see the Halflet’s copies of the treaty and realised they had broken the agreement?” Gragya offered. 

“I doubt they would show it,” the elder muttered.

“Either way, she seems to want to talk,” Gragya said.

The elder made a face, before giving a small nod. “Sssranak. Kusssin. You two go with the Gorc and find out what the miccce want.”

Two of the larger warriors gave small nods and began to slip through the tall grass, away from the main party. Gragya did her best to move with equal stealth, trying not to give the main force’s position away, though she wasn’t sure she was quite as good at it. She couldn’t slither the way they could. 

After crossing what seemed like a decent enough amount of ground, she and the two warriors rose up from the grass and started walking towards the diplomatic party.

Gragya gave an awkward attempt at a casual wave as she walked up. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” Illyxa replied, taking a break from yelling at the Halflets and Kobolds. “You guys got here early. I though Nagas were cold blooded.”

“Desssert rocksss are hot all night,” one of the warriors with Gragya replied.

“Can we talk in private?” Gragya asked, eyes drifting over to the various farmers nearby.

“Because of what the treaty says?” Illyxa asked.

Gragya opened her mouth to reply, but couldn’t quite find the words. “Uh… yes?”

“They had both languages available in the homestead,” Illyxa said. “I saw the problem.”

“So… you pulled these troops out to… weaken the defences?” Gragya asked.

“No. To try to discourage any lone Naga scouts from trying to eat Pin and I while we explained the whole issue,” she replied.

“It’s really pretty embarrassing,” Pin said, emerging with the lead farmer and a wooden envelope.

“Idiotic is more like it… I can’t believe people got eaten and killed because of it,” Illyxa muttered, crossing her arms.

“It’s not a misssunderssstanding?” one of the Nagas said. “The micce and dogsss are thievesss.”

“Not on purpose,” Illyxa replied, before gesturing to Pin.

He nodded and opened the wooden carrying case, showing off the copy of the treaty within. “Paragraph seven states, in both Common and Orcish, and I quote: ‘the Displaced Small Folks Company are allowed to settle up to the Jeyack Valley’.”

“Mhm?” Gragya replied, confused.

“The issue is that ‘up to’ is absolutely terrible wording,” Illyxa replied. “In Common one generally uses ‘up to’ in cases like saying ‘one can have up to five cookies’. Which means they can have five cookies if they wish. While in Orcish, the direct translation is generally used for saying things like ‘they walked up to the river’, where you’d be surprised to find out they went into the river.”

Gragya blinked. “Wait… so…”

“The farmers thought the treaty gave them the valley while the Nagas thought the valley’s edge was the border,” Pin replied. 

“They tricked usss!” a Naga declared.

“When Miss Illyxa and Mister Pin told us what it said we thought you’d tricked us. Hoping we’d be defenseless easy prey whenever you decided to return!” the lead farmer shouted. “Using the fact that the nearby towns and villages were all Orcish or Goblins to ensure we’d be seen as in the wrong if we tried asking for help!”

Please don’t tell me this whole fight happened over grammar,” Gragya groaned.

“I’m afraid so,” Illyxa replied.

“Using bardic magic to scry the authors’ intentions, there’s no signs either side was attempting to lie,” Pin added. “They’d seemed to have no idea at the central flaw.”

Gragya stared at Pin. Then Illyxa. Then N’ratha and Hyi. They all looked back at her with a sort of tired apologetic empathy that made it clear it was the truth.

“I need a drink,” she muttered, before burying her face in her hands.


The party had returned to the nearby Orcish town, bringing a small number of emissaries from both the small folks and the Nagas along. After leaving the rest of the party in charge of making sure the two groups didn’t start attacking each other (since tensions were still high after the Nagas had eaten a few Kobolds and Halflets in their raids and the small folks had in turn slain a few Naga raiders) Illyxa then set off to figure out who was in charge of the town.

Knocking on some doors and asking questions while playing with a small fireball eventually saw her led towards a large stately home. Clanging the small bell by the door, Illyxa then waited a few moments. Eventually an absolute mountain of an Orc, whom Illyxa felt confident had Ogre or Troll ancestry (maybe both) emerged, looking down at her.

“Who are you, and what might you be after?” he asked.

“The name’s Illyxa. I’ve been called a few other titles to decorate my name, of varying levels of complimentary or derogatory, but I tend to prefer ‘the Inferno’ these days,” she replied.

The massive Orc gave a small nod. “And…?”

“And… I’m here to ask you to handle negotiations between some of your town’s neighbours. My party has places to be and I don’t really have the patience to listen to political squabbling. I’d probably end up torching both sides if I had to sit through it,” she replied. “I’ve barely held off biting them and it’s been less than twenty four hours.”

“Who are we dealing with?” he asked.

“The Halflets, Kobolds, and Nagas,” Illyxa said.

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“You managed to get them to talk?” the man asked.

“Yeah. Just had to find out they were both being idiots,” Illyxa replied.


In the end she managed to pawn off the mayor onto Pin, to let him handle explaining the finer details. Illyxa slipped off to a tavern, dragging a once more gagged Fuan alongside her. Gragya proved to have already been there when she arrived, and the pair drank more than they probably should have, their finances considered.

At least the farmers had given them their silver for solving the crisis, even if it had been like pulling teeth. Still, a firm reminder that they’d fulfilled their contract, some diplomatic words from Pin, and Illyxa juggling fireballs as large as her head near the wooden palisade had convinced the farmers in the end.

“We still need to find an actual ship to hire, though,” Illyxa muttered.

“The coast can’t be that far?” Gragya said.

Fuan muttered something indistinct under his sticky-silver gag. It may have been pertinent to the conversation. It may have just been him asking for the gag to be removed again. Neither of the cousins cared, knowing that he’d probably say something to make the other tavern patrons angry if they let him.

“Whaddya Sheilas need a ship for?” a nearby Orcish man asked, turning towards them and raising an eyebrow.

“This weirdo wants to get the Moon Goddess’ Palace,” Illyxa replied, pointing her thumb at a once more pouting Fuan.

“Well, I’d get your bathers ready then, loves,” another man said. “No ships are sailin’ out to our back of Bourke coastline these days. All the money’s tied up in the war.”

“Bloody oath!” the first replied. “The port is right cactus at the moment. Cockies can’t sell any of their food out that way now, and they’re all up in arms ‘bout it.”

“And they’re giving the rest of us an earbashing about it,” an Orcish woman added. “All complaining that exporting by skates is too expensive.”

“So there really aren’t any ships around here? At all!?” Illyxa asked.

“Well… those pirates are probably still up on the peninsula,” one of the Orcish men said.

“Pirates?” Illyxa replied.

“Mhm. Used to raid the traffic moving in and out of the long bay,” the woman explained. “Traffic dried up with the war, though. No Pointy-Ears on pilgrimage. No trade between the Eastern Islands and up to Mezora. None of it.”

“Yeah, so, uness those hoons split for greener pastures, they’re probably the only ones with a ship for a hundred leagues,” the first man said.

“Pirates… I can work with pirates,” Illyxa said, a smile growing on her face.

Due to the nature of their careers, pirates were rarely able to call for help from local governments. Which meant they could be bullied into cooperation with minimal repercussions.


The coastal forests were thicker than Illyxa thought they had any right to be. The area inland had been little more than a shrubby grassland with a few scattered trees. A major shift from the desert, but not any sort of rainforest. So she’d not expected them to cross a large ridge and suddenly find themselves in a miniature version of the Central Rainforest.

“Stupid rain shadows,” she muttered as they made their slow progress through the all but impassable terrain.

At least N’ratha and Fuan had swords and could chop through the worst of the jungle. That kept Illyxa from snapping and trying to burn the whole thing down.

“I still can’t believe you intend to hire passage with pirates,” Fuan muttered, while sawing through some impressively thick vines.

“Pirates can be quite reasonable to work with, if you know what you’re doing,” Illyxa said, wearing a smirk, pausing for dramatic effect before she explained her plan.

“She just has to put the fear of her in them,” Gragya muttered under her breath.

“I just have to put the fear of me in—hey!” Illyxa hissed, turning to glare at Gragya. “Don’t ruin the fun of my saying!”

“It’s a lame saying,” her cousin replied, rolling her eyes.

“Oh! Now you’re making fun of it?” she countered. “Keep that up and I’ll bite you.”

“Bite me and I’ll lick all the meat jerkies I’m carrying,” Gragya replied, sticking her tongue out.

“Lic—you wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

Hearing the matter of fact tone in Gragya’s voice, Illyxa couldn’t help but pale. Who wanted to eat a jerky that had been licked. Especially by Gragya. That tongue had been some very strange places that Illyxa didn’t want to think about.

She decided it was best to just focus on reaching the pirates’ cove. Which was, unfortunately, easier said than done. The jungle proved so thick they eventually had to give up and make camp for the night having likely only crossed half the distance.


By midday the next day they reached the ramshackle fortification that the pirates apparently called home. The decorations left a bit to be desired, haphazard wooden construction with poorly painted skulls to try to make it look intimidating. It looked like Illyxa would get to release less frustration and annoyance on them than she’d hoped.

All the same, Illyxa stepped out of the jungle and casually tossed a fireball at a nearby bit of wall. It exploded in a satisfying way, letting Illyxa feel a little bit of stress relief. She then strolled in, through the hole she’d blown, fireballs in either hand and a glint of chaos in her eyes.

“ANYONE HOME!?” she shouted, feeling a bit disappointed by the inside of the pirate fort looking even more pathetic than the walls. 

The buildings were wooden, but looked barely able to stand on their own. She wasn’t sure if blowing them up would even make a difference to their structural integrity.

A crew of ragtag pirates scrambled over a nearby ridge, armed with crossbows, short swords, and strange short staffs with an opening on one end. 

They were also mostly Goblins, with only a couple of Orcs and a single Troll in the mix. That made Illyxa feel a bit bad about attacking them.

“Who’s challenging Captain Penteconter and his daring crew!?” a goblin man with actually greying hair called out, pointing one of those strange things at her.

“You’re the pirate captain?” she asked.

“He is,” another goblin called out.

“Well, I’m here to offer you all a deal,” Illyxa called out. “My friends and I would like passage on your ship to the north shore, near as you can get us to the Moon Palace.”

“What’s in it for us?” an orc on the crew asked.

“Well, my normal negotiation for pirates is a promise not to blow their ship up if they do what I say, but… since you’re also Goblins, I’d be happy to actually pay,” Illyxa replied.

“Pay sounds good,” one of the pirates said.

“Mhm, been months since we’ve had any,” another complained.

Captain Penteconter’s eye twitched before glared at the two who had spoken. Then he turned back to Illyxa. “I’m listening.”

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