Chapter 117: CH 117

He was going to feed that precious thing to me? What point was there in turning my stats from D to C? My mind was a jumble of frustration, curiosity, and incredulity. Did he not know how priceless the item called dragon’s orb was? That couldn’t be the case. I mused that ignorance would be better over making the stupid choice of giving me the orb despite knowing its worth.
I tried to give a calm explanation, but the unbearable frustration got the better of me. “The dragon’s orb holds meaning by giving it to someone with S-rank stats and enhancing them to SS-rank! Why go through the trouble of killing a dragon if you’re going to give it to me?” I yelled.
“It is worth the trouble. You would become a little tougher than now, no? As you are at the moment, truthfully…” Mayer trailed off, casting an anxious look at me with his golden eyes. It was obvious what he wanted to say. But even if he did see me as no different from a hamster—and not even a Syrian or Djungarian, but more like a Roborovski at that!—even if it could be considered an objective evaluation in a way, the lack of trust was an extreme discourtesy.
I fumed with resentment. “Am I that untrustworthy to you, Captain? The truth is that you think of me as a pain in the neck and not a comrade, don’t you? Well?”
“What nonsense!” Mayer exclaimed.
I couldn’t let this pass so easily, though. Not allowing the smallest room to escape, I shot, “Then what? You’re fine with raiding with others of the corps, so why do you treat me like this?”
Mayer shut his mouth tightly. His lips twitched several times as if he was conflicted over speaking. Then, seconds later, he roughly smoothed back his hair and sighed. “I hope that you will not think of me as human scum after hearing my true feelings,” he murmured in a confessional tone.
“I will if you don’t tell me. I’m very mad right now,” I retorted, still glowering at him. I had always waited to question Mayer’s special treatment of me. This time, I was going to get an answer.
“…You must think that I consider you especially weak.”

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“Yes.”
“But to me, you and the others are hardly any different. You are all so fragile to be broken by the slightest bit of strength.”
Oh… so I wasn’t the only hamster. To him, the Dark Knights were a hamster herd… Then again, what wouldn’t look weak from the perspective of a level 80 with SS-rank stamina and strength? “Then why in the world are you trying to only leave me out of dungeons?”
“Because it is dangerous.”
“The others will be in danger too.”
“They are different from you.”
“Different how?”
“Because it does not matter if they are in danger,” Mayer answered. His tone was so flat, it would’ve been more interesting to hear that the sun rose in the morning and the moon in the night. Perhaps that was why I blinked in confusion, pondering what he had just said. Didn’t matter if the others were in danger? Did he not care whether they died or what? Then why was he so pained by losing the Green Spirits?
As if to convince me in what I was beginning to speculate, Mayer added, “Of course, their deaths would make me sad. I would also feel guilty at having given them a task beyond their capabilities. Like I did with the Green Spirits, I will surely brood over their deaths… but that is all.” Mayer gazed at me quietly as he leaned over the table. He closed the distance between us, his golden eyes flashing like the flame of a candle. “If someone dies, I merely need to find another to replace that person. That goes for not only Umbra of the Green Spirits, but also for Axion, and even August. But there is no other like you. Losing you means it is over. When I think that you might die, I feel unbearably afraid.”

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