Chapter 5: Monday December 15th

I got snuggled up more, wrapping my scarf into its neat little bow and tucking it into my coat. It’s actually incredibly chilly out today, but it’s absolutely worth it to be out here. It snowed for the first time last night, and I figured it would be a great time to have my lunch out in the little woods behind our house - really enjoy the sight. Plus, it was an excuse to actually get out of my pj’s into real clothes for once. As long as I was bundled up (and had some hot cocoa in my thermos) I’ll be fine! 

I’m pretty sure my companion for lunch would do fine in this cold, as she’s repeated to me numerous times that she can’t feel it. “Do you think Lily would be an acceptable name? Since you seem to find your serenity in nature, it would be fitting.”

I shake my head as we trudge through the trees, down the well worn path. “Nah, I don’t think a flower name makes much sense for me. Tried Rose for a little bit, but it just didn’t seem to fit me at all. Neither did Alyssa. And then Frankie suggested Blossom and it turned me off the entire concept, made me feel like a six year old.”

Ever since our conversation about names the other day while decorating, Seb has been trying to really get me to hunker down and choose one for myself. Says she wants to give her first task from me her all. It’s honestly a little sweet how focused she’s been on it.

I, on the other hand, was having a much harder time with hers. I only agreed to let her look for me if I was able to look for hers at the same time, after all. “Let’s see… Samantha’s kind of close, right?” Turns out Seb was really attached to that serial number, and rejected anything too far off basically out of hand.

“No, it is not. Insufficient for use.” Ouch, tell me what you really think. “How about Ashe? Like the tree. Or Maple?”

I crunch twigs and leaves under foot, enjoying the simple sounds of a hike through the woods. “Maple is ok, but a bit too twee. I don’t want something that’ll make a big blinking sign that says ‘hey I picked out my own name, ask me about it’. Ashe I don’t care for at all. Hmm, what about Serenity?”

“It is… better. But still not acceptable. How do you feel about color names? Possibly Violet, or Scarlett?”

I stand still for a minute, stretching, looking up at the sun through a tree covered in little ice droplets. Winter could really be beautiful. “Colors are perfectly acceptable, but Violet runs afoul of the no flowers rule. And I can’t imagine anyone wanting Scarlett, what a fussy stuck up name. What, do I need to go fetch my fainting couch that I in my melancholy could waste away on?” I mime a fainting spell, wrist to my forehead, leaning against another icy tree. All I get from Seb is her looking away from me down to the ground. “Hmmmmm. How about… Carl.”

“Wha-what? This unit is confused if you even attempted to match parameters that time! That’s got none of the same letters, no overall shape similarities! How could you possibly think I would want to be called Carl for the rest of my life!” She pulls off another cute little huffy spell at that, throwing her arms up before folding them.

I laugh my ass off at that display, turning back to walking. “Oh my god Seb, it was a joke! You've heard of them before, right? I swear, you seriously need to get less serious about everything. You’d think-” alas, I’m too busy flying through the air to finish my thought. The branch I stepped on was larger and heartier than I expected, and instead of snapping under me it simply rolled out and sent me hurtling towards my back. I yelp, close my eyes and brace for impact…

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Only to feel myself dangling from my coat. I looked up and saw Seb had caught me by the front of my jacket. I feel her other arm wrap around my back pulling me closer to her. Her face-mask came closer to mine as she pulled me up. “Ants! Are you ok? I saw you slip - you didn’t hurt yourself did you?” I can see the chips in her forehead, the deep crack sliding down over one of her unmoving eyes. If she could breathe, I’m sure I would feel it down my neck. I feel heat come to my face as I get pressed closer and closer to her.

“No, no, I’m fine. It’s ok, really! I didn’t even drop my thermos. Thank you for catching me.”  I look down at the ground, face still feeling very hot. I brush myself off and look away. “Hey, look! We’re almost past the trees. You’re going to love this.” 

I grab her hand and run us down the rest of the path, bursting out of the treeline. I swear I could hear her gasp behind me when she saw it - a frozen lake (well, pond) surrounded by trees on all sides. A thin blue layer of ice sat on it, surrounded by the deep white snow everywhere else - on the ground surrounding it, on the tree tops, on the chairs I kept out there that I have to now brush off so my ass doesn’t get too wet. “Wow. You were right, Ants. It’s gorgeous here.”

I sit down on the (still too wet) seat, and take a big swig of cocoa. “I know, right? I know a lot of people think that the winter is too bleak, that it’s all just a dull shade of white-gray covering everything, that it needs all these floral colors everywhere to be worthwhile. But really, the stark white landscape is beautiful in it’s own way, don’t you think?”

She just sat down next to me, scooched as close as she could get her chair to go, leaning a bit into me. We look out onto that frozen pond for a long while as I sip my drink, occasionally browsing names on my phone. Not Skylar, not Sophie. Definitely not Scarlett. Wait…

“I don’t know if I want to break the silence here, but I think I found the perfect name for you. It’s got the same letters, the same shape and feel. Even the numbers kinda fit in!” We turn to look at each other, and I give her the biggest smile I can muster. “How about Sabrina?”

She pulls a hand up to her lips, tinking against the porcelain with the tips of her fingers. “Sabrina? Sabrina…” Suddenly her hand crawls up to cover her face, her other hand reaching up to meet it, as she curls in on herself a bit.

“Oh no, was it that bad? Please don’t get upset, I can keep looking!”

She shakes her head vigorously, hands still clasped over her face. “No, no no. It’s not bad! It’s… it’s good. It’s really good. Sabrina… I’m Sabrina….” Oh, I misread that movement entirely then. Wait. Oh my god, was she trying to hide a blush? I mean, she can’t actually blush, but you know what I mean. That’s…

I reach over and pat Sabrina’s shoulder, and look back over the lake, enjoying the last dregs of my drink before we had to head back. I want to sit like this here a little longer.