Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Another day in my mundane life, walking along the sidewalk and then down the steps to reach the bed of the lake on the way back home from a job interview that I had just left from. I look around to take in the view, everything seems well enough. A quiet, warm day with a slight breeze. I bend down to pick up a small, almost flat, oval shaped rock then I stand up straight again. I position it along the curve of my bent index finger and set it on top of my middle finger. I throw the rock along the top of the water to watch it skip a few times then it lands into the water. A deep sigh leaves my breath as I glance around another time. The wind blows against my attire, wearing a dress shirt, tie, dress shoes and slacks. “What a prick”, I mutter to myself, under my breath, reflecting on the interview. “What a pompous asshole, I mutter again”. I absolutely hate interviews and even more so I hate interviewers. It’s all just pointless bullshit. At least I got it over with. I then walk back up the steps, concentrated on my footing. As I reach the top I feel a heavy nudge against my right arm which pushes me to the side. As this happens, I hear the voice of a man yell in my direction, “hey, watch where you’re going!”. I immediately apologize without giving it a thought, “sorry”, I say as I plant my left leg down to steady myself and regain my balance. “What are you, stupid? You ran right into me” the man says as I get an opportunity to get a good look at him. He’s largely overweight, his height slightly shorter, with balding brown hair, a round face, porcelain pale skin and a slight bit of acne, I see he’s scowling at me. He’s wearing shorts that reach just above his knees, sandals with socks, a t-shirt with a large wolf logo and a fanny pack on his waist. “Sorry”, I repeated. “I didn’t see you there”, I said. He continues to stand there, scowling at me. I turn and walk away. I’d stomp his head into the pavement and make his brains splatter everywhere if I could get away with it and why shouldn’t I? He would deserve it. Well, not wanting to go to prison for one and just as bad if i’d managed to lose somehow, the thought of the sheer shame i’d experience if I wasn’t able to brutally put the sorry sack of shit into the hospital made me feel physically ill. I made an attempt to clear it from my mind and continued walking until I arrived home while distracting myself with other things to think about. Why stress myself over something that won’t matter in the long run. Hopefully, I’ll never come across the fat lard bastard again.

As I finally reach my destination, I place my key inside the keyhole, turn the doorknob and open the door to enter inside my apartment. I walk over and plop down on the couch. I take off my shoes, loosen my tie a bit and reach over to grab the remote, I turn on the TV then I slouch down and prop my feet up on the table in front of me and let out a loud, obnoxious yawn. I flipped through the channels a few times until I came across a news story. A man had been gunned down by a group of men. And for what reason? I have no idea. I felt negative in a way, at least somewhat but mostly I was indifferent. I flipped through the channels again and eventually landed on watching a cartoon. I suppose it’s better than the other garbage that’s on. I watched until my eyes grew heavy and eventually I fell asleep.

I wake up to the TV still being on which was on the same cartoon channel. I watched for 5, 10 minutes or so until I managed to get myself up from off of the couch and walked over to the refrigerator. I grabbed the milk, took the lid off, put my nose close enough to smell if it had gone bad. I really couldn’t tell but I just shrugged it off. I got cereal from the food cupboard, a bowl from the dishes cupboard and a spoon from the silverware drawer. I fixed myself a bowl of cereal then walked back over with it to sit back down on the couch to watch TV while eating. I watched TV until finishing my cereal then turned it off, took my bowl with spoon inside over to the sink, rinsed it, washed it and placed it to dry on a clean towel that I had laid on the counter top. I then walked over to my computer, reached down to power it on and sat at my desk. After booting up and loading, I opened my web browser. My browsing routine, I suppose is pretty basic: videos, forums, etc. and I do this for a vast majority of my time. Which is what I pretty much ended up doing all day until the evening, when I hear a knock at the door. I get up, walk over and ask after i’ve approached close to the door, “who is it”? “It’s me”, they say. Recognizing the voice, I unlock the door and open it. “Oh, hey”, I say. “What’s going on? He walks inside as I ask. Still somewhat close, turns to me. I close the door behind him. “You need to pay your rent” he said. “I’m working on it. I told you I just lost my job recently. I’ve been looking for a new one.” I replied. “Have you!? That’s not what it looks like. It looks like you’re just in here jerking off to your computer all day”, he nods to and glances over to my computer screen behind me. I look over and notice that I forgot to close my browser. “Oh shit” I think to myself. I walk over and close the browser. “It’s not like it was porn”, thinking to myself again. Even if it was, so what? “Look, if you can’t manage to pay your rent, you’ll have to be evicted”, he said. “But where will I go”?, I ask. “That’s not my problem”, he said. “I’ll do what I can”, I replied. He reached over to open the door and left. I closed the door behind him.

The landlord has always been such an uppity, self righteous faggot. I really can’t stand him. I let out a deep sigh and walk over to sit on the couch. Well, there’s nothing I can do. I look up at the ceiling with my hands placed on top of my head. What can I do? I wipe my hands down my face, as I look back down and let out another sigh as I rub my eyes then I get up from the couch to go back to my computer where I spend the rest of the evening.

When I wake up, I sit up after a while then go to the couch to sit down. I begin to contemplate over what i’m going to do after losing my apartment. I have no friends or family to help. I don’t have anyone. The family I had, i’ve been excommunicated from. I was lucky I found somewhere to work and a place to live in the first place even if it is a roach infested shit hole. There’s no escape from it, I’m going to become homeless. The unease feeling i’ve been having has only continued to grow. I know there’s another option. The only other option I can think of. I can just end it all. I can end it but how? Hanging myself, pills, jumping off a building, a gun shot to the head? Just thinking about it, I don’t think I can do it. Maybe i’m just too much of a coward. But can I manage to learn how to survive being homeless? I need to go for a walk to get some fresh air and maybe clear my head. I put on my socks and shoes that were lying on the floor next to my feet then I get up from the couch and walk over to get deodorant from the bathroom drawer to not smell like shit. I put on my deodorant. I grab my hat that’s sitting on the side table next to my bed. I put on my hat to cover my messy bed head. Trying to save money, I haven’t bothered with getting my hair cut so it’s grown out quite a bit. My hair is very thick, curly and wavy so when it gets grown out like this, it’s pretty difficult to manage. But besides deodorant, grabbing my hat which was just a basic flex fit baseball cap, also putting on socks and shoes, I was dressed to go. I had already put on my pants earlier when getting up from bed and I sleep with my shirt on, boxers included. I went to the door, opened it and walked out of my apartment, locked the door and closed it behind me.

I reached the outside of my apartment and began my walk. I took a few steps when I noticed a small dog was being walked by it’s owner and was yapping about something and I don’t care enough to find out what. I hate small dogs. I’d like to punt it and the head of it’s owner over a light post if I could. It’s just a vein, narcissistic bitch using a pet as a fashion accessory. I didn’t want to pay it too much mind so I tried my best to just ignore it and continue on with my walk. It was another warm day with a clear sky. There was really nothing of interest worth mentioning going on for the rest of my walk. I just went around the block then ended up back at my apartment building and just went back up to my apartment. I went to my computer, powered it on and spent my time browsing online to keep my mind distracted.

It got to around 2:45 am. I had just finished posting a rant about my current predicament on a forum that I spend much of my time on. I stand up and stretch since I had been sitting there for quite a while then I plop back down to my chair. I suddenly hear thunder outside and rain begin to fall then I start to see flashes of lightning in the sky. The lights inside my apartment begin to flicker and I feel a chill run down my spine. Now my entire body feels freezing cold. I see my breathe as I exhale. The thunder, lightning and rain stops. The cold is not as bad now. It eventually starts to feel like it’s the normal temperature from before. Then I feel my forehead and notice i’m sweating. I start to feel hot. I want to move from my chair but I can’t. I feel paralyzed to move and my breathing becomes shallow. I feel a presence near me. I try my best to look around but still I can’t move. There’s no one visibly there from what I can tell. I can feel the presence draw closer until it’s directly behind me. I hear a loud cracking sound. The power to my computer is now off and the screen of my monitor in front of me now has large broken cracks all over it. The presence stays near for a bit longer then it seems as though it’s just gone. I can finally move again. I look down as I start to take deeper breaths. I look back up to my monitor. A small circle of light is there. I sit and stare at it. It begins to take shape. It looks like it’s changing between different geometrical shapes. Then it goes back to being a solid circle and suddenly bursts into splits of other small circles of light that then revolve around the walls inside my apartment in random directions. I stand up from my chair and spin around in place to see it. It stops. I’m pushed down by some sort of force, my body knocks my chair off to the side and I’m now lying with my back to the floor, seeing the light has all collected to one big circle above me on the ceiling. Visible electricity is now showing from the circle, I can hear it as well. My body begins to levitate up off the ground as I remain lying, unable to move. It’s as though the light is drawing me to it. The inside of the circle is now black and has grown large enough that it’s even bigger than I am. I’m halfway between the ground and the ceiling until i’m launched up through the dark circle above me.

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