Chapter 38: Chapter 32: The Coffee Fiend Cometh

Light streaming through the window hit my eyes. I opened them to find I was in the library, rather than looking up at the now familiar ceiling of my room. My body was a bit sore, probably because I had slept in my clothes, including my corset. Yeah, that’s really not comfortable.

 

People often tend to massively oversell how horrifically uncomfortable corsets are. A mainstay of series where someone goes back in time or to a fantasy world is the inevitable “I have to wear one of these?” scene, where a reluctant heroine is forced into an organ-crushing contraption of steel and whalebone before being festooned in all sorts of ridiculous crinolines and ruffles.

 

While I suppose I might be a special case, given my interest in clothing worn throughout history, I really think those girls should just suck it up. While yes, corsets/stays aren’t exactly perfect, it was the best they had at the time. I’m not exactly sure why I’m getting so mad at fictional characters, but if worn properly they really aren’t that impractical of a clothing item. You can wear them while working, as many people did. Exercising in them is a bit tricky but not impossible, and until the invention of materials that made brassieres a practical option it was the best option you could get.

 

Rant aside, they’re less comfortable to sleep in. My back was definitely going to be sore, regardless of how so many of my previous chronic health problems seemed to be lessening as I spent time here. Why was I even sleeping on the library couch in the first place? The last I really remember was sipping tea while talking with Mary about flintlocks. Oh well. My back was sore, but at least this pillow is comfy… pillow?

 

I took a closer look. My view of the ceiling was partially obstructed, not from the couch as I had initially thought, but by a chest. Mary’s chest. As I pulled myself up, a softly snoring Mary stirred slightly. In retrospect my slightly sore back wasn’t too bad compared to the neck pain Mary will be dealing with later, sleeping like that.

 

But why was I using her lap as a pillow? What exactly did I do last night that led to this? Why did… My brain clearly wasn’t going to come to anything from trying to do so much thinking before I’ve even had my morning coffee. So, groggily and in pain, I dragged myself from my overly comfy pillow and less comfy bed and to the kitchen to brew that lifesaving elixir.

 

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I let out a sigh of satisfaction after my first sip. Coffee really is magical. I guess you could go as far to call this a “magical witch’s brew.” If you think about it, you probably could turn it into something magical. Coffee is a plant, after all, and likely contains magical properties far beyond that ever so important caffeine. Maybe it could be my specialty?

 

On second thought maybe I shouldn’t. Mary is known as the “Madness Witch,” and as insulting as the implications of that title may be at least it sounds kind of badass. Imagine getting labeled as the “Coffee Witch.” The jittery apprentice of the Madness Witch. Hmm, if I enchanted my coffee, would it maybe give me the ability to vibrate enough to phase through walls?

 

I took another sip of coffee. My thoughts always were kind of weird while half-asleep. Luckily I have a potion for that. Bringing the cup up to my nose, I inhaled deeply. The scent of nuts, earth and a hint of chocolate permeated my nose. I exhaled, and felt all the aches and pains of the previous night leaving my body with the breath. This moment was almost perfect. I had a fresh cup of coffee, and I could see the woods from out the window. The sound of birdsong, albeit muffled by the wall, could be heard in the air as the frost on the trees melted with the morning sun. But, something was missing.

 

I heard a distant thud, followed by the sound of footsteps approaching. Mary sat down at the kitchen table, with a tired yet somehow contented look. I wordlessly offered her a cup of coffee, and as she took a sip the odd feeling faded away. I sat there enjoying the feeling of peace; it was probably better not to ruin the feeling by asking why I had woken up this morning using her as a pillow.

 

Come to think of it, I had never actually gotten up before her. It seemed like every morning I’d wake up to the sound of her cooking, or brewing tea. A-am I a bad apprentice? Is it okay for me to live the dissolute life of someone mooching off the goodwill of Mary? Eh, she hasn’t complained about it yet, so it’s probably fine. But something about her tired face when she’s just woken up is kind of nice. If only this world had alarm clocks.

 

As comfortable as this was, it couldn’t last forever. It was a weekend, so we did not exactly have any heavy work planned but we were both hungry, so after a while Mary made breakfast. It promised to be an easygoing day, with no bumps or interruptions.

 

Or so we though, as we found ourselves in the library reading. Mary was working her way through a rather lengthy fantasy series, filled to the brim with characters traveling back and forth to fight some evil, dealing with politics while hiding smiles behind cups of tea, or sniffing and smoothing their skirts in disapproval. You know, that kind of fantasy series. I, meanwhile, was idly flipping through a book on who knows what wondering why Mary was sitting so close to me on the couch.

 

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My thoughts were interrupted by a ringing the ringing sound letting us know we had a guest. Unfortunately we had not set hours, and had to be prepared for customers to show up at any time of the day or night. Usually day. We lived in the woods after all. Even daytime travel is hazardous, and nighttime could be downright perilous depending on what beasts and monsters might be roaming about. Which, as I was slowly learning, wasn’t all that different from back home although monsters and spooks were much rarer than they are here.

 

Putting her book aside, Mary went to answer the door with me in tow. We opened the door to find the glass worker, Eva, standing sheepishly holding a bag.

 

“You again? Was there an issue with the potion I gave you?” Mary asked, rather harshly.

 

“Oh, no no no! The potion worked great! Better than great, actually!”

 

“Then why are you here?”

 

“I came to deliver an order. The one your apprentice placed?”

 

“Wait.” I cut in. “You finished it already? I ordered it yesterday! And we had said nothing about delivery!”

 

“It’s not good to sit on orders, is it? Besides, it was simple.”

 

“I don’t have the payment we agreed upon ready...”

 

“That’s fine! I wanted to see how that’s done anyways. That is okay with you, right? If it’s some sort of secret technique I’ll completely understand and look away! I just haven’t been able to get the thought of that drink out of my mind, ever since the last time I was here. So I don’t mind waiting. I did wait last time I was here after all, while my potion was being brewed.”

 

“...I guess?” I was at a loss.

 

“Uhh...not to invite myself in or anything, but should we be standing here talking at the door? I want to see how well this works! I’ve never made one before. Quality control and all that!”

 

Mary and I wordlessly turned, gesturing for her to follow us in. The woods here may be filled with monsters, but I was beginning to feel I had created a whole new type of monster. Only time will tell the havoc this creature will wreak upon this world.