Chapter 59: Ch: 52 Checking it Off the List

Ch: 52 Checking it Off the List

Afternoon shadows began to draw evening’s curtains while the musician played his tune, drawing his mate and the others out onto the lawn.

The smith woman was still cross, holding her child protectively, despite his struggles. She danced an angrily joyous caper across the turf, her hips ringing in time.

 

“I will nae let ye hae him, but I will allow him tae touch thee. Surely he does wish tae be near ye.” 

As the music wound down, Shai carefully placed her boy on  Kai’s broad, flat head. He immediately sat down and put his hands on her skin.

 

“Oh, thank you young mortal… Shai. Thank you for dressing him again as well. It was terribly undignified, addressing you all, with that waggling bare bottom on my head.” 

She nodded in her turtle way, slowly elevating and lowering her head. Watching the boy smile and coo, while speaking in the voice of an educated and mature woman made for an interesting contrast.

“I am a patient entity. You will find me here if you wish to speak with me again.” She nodded again, making Wilford giggle as he moved up and down. 

“This charming young monkey will be back when his time is right. I have not had a human child in so long, though I assume it will not be too many turnings of the seasons before he returns to me.

She turned her head, looking up the wide, muddy tributary river. “I feel My own children are returning, it is best I meet them, before you do.” 

She slowly lowered her head to the lawn. “Please excuse me, I have been absent from them for too long. That pinchy wretch chased them away some seasons ago, now I sense their return. I will see you when next you come here.” With reluctance, Wilford slid to the ground then clung to Kai’s neck smiling happily. “Do please bring my little Wilf back soon. I must withdraw, until we meet again mortals.”

 

She stood and began slowly ambling off to the water’s edge. Without a sound she vanished beneath the shadowy surface. Her massive form could be seen, swimming away briskly, before being lost in the murk and gloom.

 

“Wilford is nae going tae be Wilf, ye hard shelled reptile!” Shai called back, while Becky crowed in triumph.

Gary reached out and flicked her ear so hard her beads clattered. “I’m with Shai, not Wilf, not happening.”  

 

The young woman rubbed her ear and grumbled. “You give everybody names, even the gods.”

 

“Yeah but I’m moon touched… people expect that.” He played a wild riff on his guitar and smiled. “I say we head  home tomorrow, we can come back after spring with Amicus. I’ll work on a translation enchantment.” He sang.

“That way Wilford…” Gary eyeballed Becky as he emphasized the boy’s name. “...won't have to be a ventriloquist's dummy. That’s creepy.”

 

The old priest stood and stretched. “I have enough notes and measurements to begin an investigation, Amicus will be fascinated indeed. He is currently in negotiations with at least one of his gods, hoping to switch to your new cult. Otherwise he would have come along, he will be furious at this news!” Otho chuckled darkly. 

 

As they watched the water, vague sleek forms moved beneath the surface and among the reeds. 

“Giant otters.” Esperanza said. “These, this one is familiar with.  Esperanza has traded with them from time to time, they enjoy bright colored beads and small trinkets…”

She smiled and bounced enticingly. Khan and Gary both caught sharp elbows for noticing, while Shai and Luna nodded to each other in solidarity.

“They are shy of humans, as they are oft mistaken for monsters. They enjoy crunching on these pinchy vermin as much as Gary and Falco do.”

 

Gary put his flute away, and picked up a basket of crawling nightmares. “What? They’re delicious! So meaty…” He wandered inside, calling to his family. “Help me murder these bastards, its dinnertime. Gumbo?”

#

 

Tawny and Liam crawled out of the giant bin of sawdust in Gary’s workshop and coughed together for a while. “Ok, that was a bust. What’s next?” Liam asked, openly admiring her.

She gave him a slow and hungry look over, in return. She started with his eyes, so dark and sad, they flickered with life now. That face, hard planes and edges softened by the lines of his smile, and one lonely dimple set back on his right cheek.

His neck and shoulders rippled with smooth muscle, lean and quick. His abdomen was more firm planes and ridges, softened just a little by loving life more than he once had. She let her gaze linger on his manhood, his dark hair dusted with golden sawdust and a cheeky wood shaving clinging to his…”

Tawny was also nude, save for a thick coating of wood shavings and sawdust. A small notebook hung from her wrist, she consulted it carefully. Her pink tongue poked out just a little, in a way that made the abject failure of the ‘Filthy Carpenter’ less disappointing.

 

“I have ‘Lark in the Morning’ on the list, that’s where you do me from behind on top of the pianoforte, while I play and you sing. Let’s wash all these wood shavings off first though.”

 

He kissed her with lips that tasted of pine resin and cedar. “Good call. Who’s  idea was the sawdust thing? Feels like it was mine. It just looked so fluffy.” Liam hung his head slightly.

“We share our successes and failures my love, now come bathe me!” Tawny scolded him with a swat across his dusty bottom that sent golden motes flying.

 

“Oww!” She complained, holding her bruised palm. “We are going to have to feed you more, I want a little padding on your backside!”

#

 

Shai pressed a wad of dust on Gary at bedtime, insisting that he needed dreamless sleep. “Thou hast a long day on the morrow boy. I would hae ye fully fit soon. I shall dust thee off tae sleep till I be satisfied.”

#

 

Gary woke feeling fit, very fit, obnoxiously so. “Morning!” He said, his smiling face so close to Shai’s that their eyelashes brushed.

“Gah!” She yelped tenderly in affectionate surprise and displeasure. She swatted him on the chest so lovingly, while cursing him. It kinda hurt, but Joy was making too much noise to really mind a little pummeling

“Dinnae wake me so, ye loon! Half mad, crackpated, addle brained mooncalf of a… MAN!” She fumed while he lolled about grinning. 

“Becky, mind this fool while I tend the wee ones. I shall nae be able tae manage him wi out… never ye mind.” Shai began dressing the little ones, while Becky whipped Gary into shape.

“Coffee, want coffee? Follow me.” Becky went off to get started on breakfast, with a half awake but very frisky Gary trailing after.

#

 

“Cooking is hard.” He grumbled from the sink, where he was scrubbing up. “I am never going back to living like this! I keep trying to dismiss this stuff and it wont work. Stupid reality.”

 

Shai ran her fingernails down his back from behind, silencing his complaints with a pleasurable shudder.

“This gift of mine is new and growing yet, an why should I hae the same gifts as thee? I am Contracted tae Knowledge, nay dusty old Secret. I be mine own woman… Aye… and thine too.” She kissed him and spun away, cheerfully carrying platters to the table, a consummate hostess to her toenails. 

Gary washed his hands and followed with a pitcher of scalding coffee and a smile.

#

 

Esperanza prepared to sail as the sun came over the hills, slipping loose from her moorings while the remaining members waved and gathered themselves to set out.

Shai’s gift worked much like Gary’s… mysteriously. Shai dismissed it, but nothing happened. They started packing up and setting out, the house was still there. Becky had her eyes pinned to the door, focused in, as they rode off in the cart.

 

She kept a close watch until half way up the rise, a wheel thunked over a stone, shaking her loose. When she looked back up, the house had completely vanished, leaving a patch bare of greenery.

“Infuriating.” She mumbled while rubbing her bottom. 

 

Gary’s banjo started thumping and twanging, ringing in the cool morning mist

 

Go down to to the long dead graveyard,

the one by drowning creek.

 

Fetch me a pinch of graveyard dust ,

and a stone from way down deep.

 

Bring me a feather from a blackbird’s tail 

and a rusty spike from the left hand rail.

 

He kept banging on, demanding ever more obscure and occult ingredients for some lyrical alchemy project. No one paid his lyrics any mind, as they flew down the road. 

With Otho and the kids on the cart pulled by Flora, Becky riding on top and the adults trotting in time alongside, they danced their way home. 

Camping one more peaceful night in Shai’s home by the side of the road, they came in sight of Wheatford’s docklands before third bell.

 

As they approached and the music slowed, they all felt the pressure of that energetic gaze begin to recede. By the time they reached the gates of the Adventure compound, they were spent, worn and just a bit befuddled.

 

Liam and Tawny met them at the front door, mumbling something about needing to talk privately. 

Gary mumbled something in return about soaking his head and went into the bath.

“It hae been an eventful trip, an Joy did bless us wi her gaze, we kin hardly stand.” Shai too, brushed by, chasing Gary and his armload of sleepy kids.

“Nothing need be asked nor forgiven, on my say, I shall make it clear… sister.” She whispered as she vanished into the steam.

 #

 

“So you told Tawny and Liam they could freaknasty all over our house while we were away… and you kept me busy so...” Gary scratched his shaggy head and grumbled.

“Meh, I kinda feel like we blew up at Ivy and big T over that, it was just surprising, I’m good. Totally gonna bust on them though.” He said with a grin. “Let’s go visit Gunnar, we’re a mess.”

 

The brass bell over Gunnar’s door rang merrily as the wards came strolling in. The handsome barber gave a wink to Shai and pulled a curtain over his mirror. 

“The High priestess herself! Shai and Gary as well!” He smiled and chatted his way through a peaceful half hour, getting the rest groomed before turning on Becky.

Wilford endured his first haircut with good grace and stoic patience, while Amy soaked up the attention like a sponge.

 

“So long, thick and dark, let’s braid this into a plait and keep it long, yes my dear? Not like Shai who forces me to savagely hack off her lovely tresses.” They both glared at her in outrage before going back to important matters. 

“Yes, hair ornaments will be required, I will write a prescription. See to it that it is filled, young lady.” He wrote a note with quick and precise strokes of a fine white quill pen and passed it to her tiny hand with utter seriousness.

Amy  bustled over and handed the note to Gary. “It’s a ‘scription, that means you gotta get this stuff, Gunnar says so.” She announced. “He says you two can’t be trusted with my hair.”

With an amused grin Gary and Shai looked over the ‘Prescription’. 

“Barrettes? There are prescription hair ornaments too? Hair nets, bathing cap, shower cap, sleep cap… silk pillowcases? This conditioner from the alchemist’s guild is super costly…” Gary grumbled and complained good naturedly as his woman and daughter gathered a pile of… stuff, from all over Gunnar’s shop.

 

Gunnar had Becky in a chair while the others were shopping and complaining. Carefully, he removed her bright colored clay beads and set them aside, before picking apart her braids.

 

“Hmmm… who has been taking care of this for you? A mad hermit in the woods or worse yet, Gary?” He asked, only partially jesting.

“The girls and some of the boys at the orphanage trade off doing each other’s haircuts and stuff…”

 

“We must address this. Parents, siblings, whatever, you may go, we have work to do.” Gunnar pulled the shades, indicating his shop was closed, hustled the others out and turned on Becky with a smile. 

#

 

“I always forget how big a deal hair and stuff is… you gotta remind me.” Gary complained quietly. “Now I feel like  a putz for not doing this before.” He was carrying Wilford, while Amy skipped and ran through the market.

 

“Fie, I dinnae think either, an I hae once shared in the cutting of hair an braiding when I were in the orphanage.” Her eyes got a little damp as they strolled the market. 

“Tis how I did learn tae sharpen shears and begin the cutler’s trade, ‘ere Papa Harlan did come fer me.”

 

Amy bustled up, sensing a mood, she grabbed Shai’s skirts and dragged her off into the crowd with a bubbling laugh. 

Three days before the festival, things were bustling in the market. “Wait for us!” Gary called, trotting after with an arm full of curious boy.

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#

 

Gary was down in the workshop, up to something, as usual. Becky came home smiling nervously and patting at her new braids. 

Her hair was slickly black and glossy, combed out and shining. Cunning fingers had loosely twisted her tightly curled locks into an elegant plait around her crown, her clay beads woven in securely. The young woman’s dark face shone with happiness, undercut by nervous energy.

She shook her head around and grinned. “No more clattering beads, Luna promised to teach me her stealth and assasination techniques, gotta be quiet.” Becky said shyly, dancing in place anxiously. “How’s it look Shai?”

“Tis a glory my love, come let us show Gary! Take Amy in hand whilst I fetch me Wilford.” They trooped downstairs to confront the musician as a unified force.

 

He was bent over his workbench, tucking tiny stitches through a mass of wadded fabric and whistling a soft sad song. After a moment he drew a small knife from nowhere and clipped off his thread.

“Just in time.” He said, turning with a grin of triumph. “Wow Becks, that is a huge change. You look beautiful.”

He picked her up in a hug and twirled her a few times round. “I was going to wrap this… but you’re here, let’s see.” 

 

With a wink, he handed her the pile of cloth, then pushed her into a changing room that appeared while everyone was looking elsewhere.

He closed the door in her confused face and sat down to wait on the settee with the others. 

“Can’t wait, hurry up. Youv’e dressed yourself before… Did I forget the instructions? The Becky goes inside… Oww!” 

Wilford leaned over and bit Gary on the arm, silencing his obnoxious chatter… for now.

 

A few moments later the door opened and Becky strolled out, swishing her skirts in happiness. 

 

She was draped from head to toe in the colors and patterns of falling and fallen leaves. Some seemed to drift from her shoulder to gather in a small pile around her hem, others clung to branches embroidered in rich browns and dark gray.  

Vibrant, richly shaded hues of orange, golden brown and rich yellow dominated the embellishments, over a field of deep and mysterious dark blue.

A riot of mushrooms, flowers and leaves in vivid colors circled her hem from shin to ankles, with sturdy, no nonsense boots kicking merrily in a jig. 

With a shrug she flipped the hood of her robe up, enveloping her in a mysterious shadowed cowl, scattered with golden yellow falling leaves. In the depths, those who peered too deeply saw slowly crawling tendrils of shadow and mist, rather than the smiling face of a pretty girl.

 

“A high priestess needs formal robes… I have mine, you have yours. Next time the clergy come calling we will be ready.” He winked at her with a grin. “Wear those around some, they have a few enchantments sewn in, they need to attune to you.”

 

“They're great Gary, but what enchantments? No jokes?” she fixed him with a glare. “I’m serious, no jokes.”

 

“No jokes love, just a few things to help you along. Deep pockets, self mending and cleaning… maybe a little…” He trailed off into nonsense at the end.

 

“A little what? Do they come unstitched and fall off if I say the magic word? Turn colors  randomly? Get two sizes smaller when I sneeze? Why are you taking notes?” She demanded.

 

“No reason…” Gary replied guiltily. “Those were just really good ideas. Keep going love.” His attempt to change the subject failed miserably.  Finally he produced the garment’s details.

 

Raiment of the Hidden Forest, unique robe, iron rank.

Enchanted, etheric/spiritual, no elemental affinities.

Up to fifty pounds of inanimate material may be stored in a non dimensional space linked to garment’s pockets. 

Garment will repair, clean and resize itself when worn or stored near a source of etheric magic. 

Garment resists cutting, piercing, kinetic and constricting forces while worn by or or near a source of etheric magic. 

Garment protects wearer from and resists elemental, spiritual or magical effects and influences while worn by or near a source of etheric magic.

When hooded, wearer’s face and features will be concealed.

Distribution and coloration of embellishments will change seasonally, or may be controlled by wearer’s will.

 

“Don’t count on the protections too much, cloth and spider silk can only do a little. Maybe it will give you an edge some day…” 

Becky hugged him tight and whispered softly. “I love it.”

 

Gary grinned happily. “We should go visit the other temples tomorrow, visit some friends and annoy some enemies.”

 

Becky nodded and smiled evilly. “Helene and Theo have it in for you, perhaps I should mediate on your behalf. I am your high priestess after all.” She giggled wildly at that, bouncing on her toes in glee.

“What’s this about changing my colors and stuff?” She asked after a few minutes of self admiration.

 

“Think about how you want the leaves and branches arranged, it won’t change entirely, but you can control the season and where the leaves and branches are.” 

He grinned and started chattering, as all crafters will if given the chance. “Those are real leaves from that haunted plum, we gotta hunt more of those critters. A haunted mahogany or ebony would be awesome!” 

 

“Ye both dinnae realize, tis almost the feast of Secrets. Theo does think ‘twill be as in the past, fer he is a creature of habit, unless disturbed.” She smiled, a warm and pleasant blush rising to her cheeks. 

 

Becky grinned at her sister in evile glee. “That is a crazy good point. Each cult is in charge of their own festival, but Secret never had a cult, so Craft and Joy handle it.”

 

“So what is the party like?” Gary asked with excitement in his voice. “I love a good street fair!”

 

“Joy Does throw a few dances, whilst craft operates game and puzzle booths. There be contests fer telling tales and such.” Shai mused. “Tis a favorite of the wee ones, fer there be no dull ceremonies.” 

 

“That sounds fun, what happens in the evening?” nHe asked.

 

“Not much, things wrap up before sundown.” Becky sighed. “It’s kinda a let down after the games and stories.”

 

Shai’s smile widened and became predatory. “Though Craft does a fine job, tis mostly fer making money fer the temple. Secret hae a cult now, tis just this loon of mine, but tis official…” She winked at Gary.

“I say we nae disturb him, but do hang the flag of war on an occasion that does make yer point doubly well and cruelly. Gary does have summat of a plan already in motion.”  Shai relaxed back on the settee she had summoned, pulled out her violin and began to play in a soft eerie wail.

“I hae been poking about fer some time now, in that head of yours. Tis a holiday, yer mind does dwell on when ye think of autumn. Aye, an ye hae thought of this holiday wi fondness.” 

 Low mist gathered at the floor while pumpkins bearing hideous faces in their rinds, sprang up from crawling vines. Paper skeletons, with goofy eyes and brass pins holding their painted bones together, began to proliferate in the workshop.

“Aye ‘tis time the cult of Secret hae a festival done proper. Hae ye any ideas fer such, me boy?” Shai looked about with satisfaction.

 

Gary just grinned and nodded. “I see what you are getting at, I love it, and all of you crazy people.” He sat down and started scribbling on a conjured notepad.

 

“We were going to launch the chocolate business on festival day, Yost is already in Flintspire, he picked up a consignment from Ivy while we were away.” He cracked his knuckles in eager anticipation.

“Esperanza should still be in Port Ellis, we all start selling at third bell of the first day and ride it till we run out of our first batch.” His grin got wider. “This is too perfect, Becky, you and Ivy were playing with cookies and cakes, did you do any candy making?”

 

“No, but we can snoop in your head for some recipes tonight. It’s getting a lot more organized in there.” She seemed excited by the prospect, grinning and wiggling mischievously.

 

“Amy, hae ye thoughts?” Shai asked.

 

“Candy corn is gross, scary movies are too scary and I wanna be a pirate, like Shai, Wilford says he does too.” Amy hurled her gauntlet in Gary’s face, shoulders back, eyes up, ready to fight for her rights all the way.

 

“Amy,” Shai began sweetly. “...Ye should nae say that I be a Pirate.” She had the tiny girl by both shoulders, folding her long, lean frame nearly double to meet the child eye to eye.

 

Amy looked puzzled. “You’re a secret pirate? Why do you talk that way then?” She brightened immediately. “Ok dread pirate Shai! We won’t let anybody know you’re a secret pirate!” 

 

The tiny nightmare went back to cataloging her list of costume requirements. 

They were extensive. “My eyepatch has to be pretty, I need a shiny sword and a big hat with feathers…”

That went on for a while, her list of demands for Wilford were nearly as exhausting… “His hook hand has look scary but it better be safe, no pointies!”

#

 

Old Hanna showed up with the young orphans, adding her near hundred and ten years of experience to the swirling storm of needles and shears.

Becky took charge of her happy mob, redirecting them into mischief with little effort. “Monster costumes for my younglings first Maya. We will make sure everybody gets taken care of.” Becky gently scolded a younger teen. If you get stuck I’ll make Gary help you.” 

She took a spin in her robes and smiled so wide the younger girl flinched back in surprise. “This is going to be hilarious!” 

#

 

Down in the workshop, a  small troupe of the more crafty younglings were learning all about papier mâché and mask making. “What’s a Batman?” Molly asked, while diligently laying strips of pasted paper on a conjured head form.

“He’s a… He’s a famous knight where I came from yeah, this is how he dresses to fight evil.” Gary said, pleased with his fast thinking.

The trio of Dannyl, Tawny and Tallum kept the music bumping along upstairs, while Gary and Shai wandered and played, tangling everyone they could in their combined gifts.

“So why does he wear his underwear on the outside? Is he weird? Like you?” She looked him over with a critical gaze. It was brutal coming from a nine year old girl with laughing eyes and a scowl designed by… 

 

“Becky, she told you to ask that!” He grumped and fussed without losing the beat on his mandolin. “It’s a thing they do, nobody understands the underwear thing. Get back to work you brat.”

She stuck out her tongue and blew a wet one at him, then flicked a strip of pasted paper as he turned away. It flew the short distance with grace and elegance, slapping quietly into a nest of similar strips, already on his back.

#

 

That night, in bed together alone, he pulled himself up on an elbow beside his beautiful woman, enjoying her soft smile. 

“Love, I’m thinking about moving The house to the docklands or the craft ward, what do you think?” He asked, breaking the silence. “They won’t leave us alone much longer. After the festival we will be getting another awkward visit.”

“This is nae a matter of law, Helene and Theo do push this, they do know that Order must follow the law if a complaint is made.” She mused. “There may be summat tricksey we kin do. Fer now, sleep, we must be busy tonight yet.”

#

 

In the world beyond, the big screen was back, with widely spaced entities viewing select scenes from his memories. He caught up to his spider friend, on the ground floor. 

Thirp was digging in a back closet where he kept all the terrible soap operas he had been forcibly exposed to over the years.

“I trust you, Thirp.  Please tell me they aren't getting any of my memories that would be too weird for words.”

 

“Certainly not, daytime television is almost more than they can manage. Only Joy seems to have any concept of mortal life and Ducky, of course.” She paused and shuddered. “Lady joy and Lord Marduk I should say, you are a terrible influence, Gary.”

 

He smiled and scritched her between her eyes. “Can you set up a few minutes with Lord Aclintherios? I met an old friend of his and she wanted me to say hello. Kai of the waters is her name.”

 

“I will inform my lord, for now, lady Joy requests that you spend some time in meditation, she is growing impatient.” She sang in conciliatory phrases and chords.

With only minor grumbling, he secretly watched his woman and kids play, through his less natural senses, while contemplating his navel.

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