Chapter 88: Ch: 80 I’m Not Proud… Or Tired

please note, 

Paul, Knight of Order is getting a name change at my wife's request. 

He is now;

Thelonius, Tony, knight of Order

sorry.

 

 

Ch: 80 I'm Not Proud... Or Tired

A table swiftly and silently emptied out, while the red haired servant boy led lord Fallon to a seat. Muted conversations and music resumed as the boy brought him a basket of biscuits and a bowl of groundworm stew.

“A noble does not eat trashworm, boy. Bring me wine, fetch it from my baggage if this place has none.” He grumbled.

 

“We have a vegetarian option, grilled parsnips and carrots with a malted barley and herb salad… The beaverfolk swear by it.” Dannyl calmly swept the bowl and basket from the table and carried them off. “I will return in a moment.”

 

“Tell that girl to make the choppy soup from last time. I do not eat animal feed.” His sneer at Grol and Uggoth left them unimpressed and uninterested in him.

 

“Sister Becky is not a servant, nor is that soup on the menu today. I can bring you your trail rations if you desire.” He said calmly, almost coldly. “Lady Trelawny instructs me to withhold wine and beer, your medicine reacts poorly with liquor.”

“Bring me wine and tell that orphan boy to come to me now.” Brennan snarled quietly. “Do not think that your supposed fellowship with lady Trelawny will protect you from my wrath, boy. I am not to be trifled with.”

“To be honest, my lord, I have never ‘trifled’, do you recommend it?” He asked with bland detachment, combined with poorly feigned interest and innocence.

 

“Malus!” Brennan barked into the room, silencing everyone. “Take this boy to the stable and discipline him. Girl, get me a proper meal, immediately… and wine.”

 

“The lad is not in War’s legion yet my lord, nor is he a member of your household.” Malus replied calmly, from where he was smoking with Uggoth and Glenn.

 

“Enough! Nazar, roust the troop, get these animals out of here, we are commandeering this inn.” He snapped. “I want that boy beaten, this Gary brought to me and a proper meal. If Lady Trelawny complains, send her to me.”

He lounged back in his seat, smiling. “Toss these fringers out too, they can sleep in the stables.” He said, in the direction of the Sparrowhawks. 

 

“That is enough, we’re done here. Becky, take the kids upstairs please.” Tawny’s words were soft, but they carried like the toll of a bell through the common room. Two tiny brats emerged from a pile of cushions and darted for the stairs.

“Stop there! Bring me those two urchins! Something is off about this whole situation.” Fallon barked at his troop. The two children slid to a stop, staring at him in amazement.

 

“I don’t like him.” The girl said, wrinkling her nose. She took the boy by the hand and they scampered off unchecked.

 

“This is my household Brennan, my friends and family live here, no one answers to you beyond your troop. Since you are well enough to be a nuisance, you are well enough to travel.” Tawny said in the kind of firm, unapologetic tone that spoke of command.

“Master Nazar, sadly, the time has come for your troop to leave us.” She graced the veteran officer with a warm smile. “The master and mistress of the house extend a welcome to you and your band on your future visits.”

 

Nazar bowed to Tawny and the company, then clapped his hands firmly. “Break’s over, back on the road. Bran, Malus, let’s get sorted.” 

Jeng, the scout, had to be pulled away from his discussion with Liam, Axio and Solange. 

“I look forward to seeing you again! Er… while you live, journeyman Jeng. Though if you did wish to be interred in my crypt…” The Grave guardian probably looked embarrassed, it was hard to say for certain.

 

Brennan fussed and commanded, ordered and demanded that punishments be doled out, along with threats of retribution. Nazar stood impassively and said nothing, until the still weakened lord ran out of breath. 

“Sealed orders from baron Eglund, co signed by duke Belen. We are to ride to Giant’s Falls, something there needs our attention. No delay is permitted, prepare yourself my lord, we depart for the fringe.”

Nazar shared a significant glance with Otho, Khan and Luna, while Brennan read the scroll his second presented. He nodded to the trio, before assisting Brennan with his armor and kit. 

  Within a few minutes the troop had packed up and mounted. “The day is almost over, we will be only a mile or so away. My apologies, lady Trelawny.” Nazar said as he prepared to depart at the end of their column.

 

“My friend, you bear no fault here. Good journey, return safe.” She replied, gifting him with another of those smiles.

#

 

They made just over a mile, before the coming evening forced a hasty camp in a meadow off the river road.

“If a rider came, I should have been informed regardless…” The lordling was still griping over the change in orders. “…highly irregular, how did the duke even…”

 

Nazar only listened enough to respond humbly in the appropriate spots. Fortunately, he was still pale and short of breath, the lord tired out and hit his bedroll early, without even his usual demands for wine.

 

Stillbend’s watch had been over for less than a half hour when Brennan Fallon crept into his tent. Clad entirely in dark leathers, with only a dagger at his waist, the lordling was dressed to play the villain in a comic opera.

“Come with me, we are going back to that inn. I will not be treated this way. That skinny waif is always hanging about the stables, we can snatch her for a bit of fun.”

 

Stillbend nodded silently and rose from his cot, cinching up his own leathers. He followed the lord out the back of his tent and into the brush. They trotted upstream on a game trail, reaching a clearing overlooking the new causeway unseen.

In the center of the clearing Stillbend stopped, bringing the lord up short. “What? Are we observed? I sense…” He began, furious and startled in equal measure.

 

“You are not observed. None shall see what happens here tonight.” Nazar said calmly from the treeline. Slowly, the rest of his troop appeared from the shadows.

“You now stand in the court of orphan’s law, Brennan Fallon. The gods, the duke and the baron have withdrawn their sheltering hands. You may defend yourself with words or steel, either way the outcome is forgone.” 

The leather clad, dagger armed, skulking lord found himself ringed by the armed and armored warriors of his own command.

He wheeled and backed, angling to protect his blindside while he barked commands. Slowly the veterans closed their circle.

“Our orders were to take you out in the wilds, for this… your behavior has made that impossible. Stillbend, you requested the duty.” One silent form slid forward, a long knife gleaming in his hand.

#

 

“Thunder?” Gary asked from the pool. A faint clashing sound drifted from the distant hills downstream, intermittently disturbing his bath.

 

“No, justice.” Khan said, soberly. They were in the private pool, at Khan’s request with just the Bathers who were also orphans. “At least one man is going to die tonight on that hillside, I dearly hope it is only one.” He puffed his pipe thoughtfully.

“You are new to our family, you did not grow up with our traditions. As you know, War’s legion is made almost entirely of orphans. Whether indentured adventurers, or sworn cultists, most rank and file warriors are orphans.”

Gary nodded, while straining his eyes to try and see what must be happening so far away. Khan puffed his pipe to life and passed it to the musician.

“Almost all officers are nobles or from established families, the nobility form the heart of War’s officer corps.” He paused, giving his stache a good grooming.

“The nobility sometimes treat War’s legion as a place to dump their refuse, hurling their undesirable scions into battle at our head… Not all, most are good leaders, drawn to the protection of man and bearing that duty with honor. Some become great leaders, often surpassing their own expectations. Some… are like Brennan.”

He had a good long smoke about it before he went on. “Brennan is the end of Eglund’s line and moontouched. They bound him to Order a few times, trying to make him stable, or at least manageable.” He shook his head sadly. 

 

“If he were a commoner, they would have contracted him to War and thrown him into the fray. I’ve met a couple of those unfortunates, happiest people in the world as long as they are knee deep in monster guts. I guess it’s like you say, no plant a weed in its time and place.”

 

“I totally stole that from Liam, he says he read it in a book, a book! That guy just learned, now he reads like a fish! Wait… what? This is strong…” Gary argued with himself and his pipe for a moment, while Khan went for tea.

 

When they reconvened, with clearer heads, Gary pressed the issue. “So, they are murdering Brennan out there in the hills? That’s crazy!”

 

“They are executing Brennan. He was found guilty of crimes against humanity and others. To protect his family and ensure his co-conspirators do not flee justice, officially he will fall to a bandit raid. The bandits will be slain, and their ears returned to prove justice was done.” He said with both satisfaction and sadness in his voice.

“The orphans court is the final justice for wayward nobles and officers. Brennan must have shamed himself too deeply for them to bear him any longer.” He murmured into his tea cup.

 

“So they kill him, then they go hunting bandits? We’ve been around a bit and haven’t seen any sign of crime, not even poachers.” Gary demanded, frustrated and angry for some reason.

 

“His troop has been carrying packets of magically preserved human ears against this moment since they were assigned to him. As I did when I was assigned to him.” He let that dangle there.

 

“Every orphan, at the time of indenture, can choose to donate their ears to the orphan’s court if they should fall and be recoverable. 

Almost all do. Each warrior has the option to draw a bag of ears from the orphan’s league, against this need.” Khan relit the pipe, now cut with a liberal dose of mint and greater caution. 

“Most officers, if they find their troops have drawn their ears from stores, will resign or request reassignment. Needless to say, this is a secret, an orphan’s secret. The nobility know of course. They use us to dispose of their most shameful rubbish and biggest errors.”

Luna slipped into the bath without a ripple, landing beside Khan silently. “Stillbend is a dangerous man. I hope he got some things worked out tonight.” She said proudly. 

“He did not complete his duty unscathed. Please act suitably surprised when they arrive, Tawny is already preparing and would like your assistance Liam.”

 

Gary was left in the bath, out of the way, while Tawny and Liam worked. Axio and Solange kept him company.

 

“I observed countless generations of humans grow and die. Like the ceramic artifice of my humans, you begin as raw clay. Parents, civilization and peers shape the vessel to suit their needs. If the clay is not suitable for the design, much can be lost.” The fungus said sagely.

 

“You are very wise, master Axio.” Otho slipped into the pool with the group. “Poor Eglund’s only son was a good, if stupid man, he had all his hopes there. Poor Brennan should have been culled from the nobility and sent to War long ago, but old men are a foolish lot.” He sighed and sipped his tea. 

“Now we are in the awkward position of invoking old traditions. Nazar and his band will return with lord Fallon’s remains, report his heroic end and submit themselves for punishment for their failure to protect their lord and commander.”

 

”What?” Gary demanded in outrage.

 

“Calm yourself, they will be officially ‘executed’, by their lord. He will end their indentures early, grant each a private boon and a new name.” Otho paused for another run at his cup. 

“This tea is extraordinary…another of Liams? Never mind… When they leave port Fallon, they will be simply a band of retired warriors. What they do after is their own to decide.”

 

“I felt Brennan when he bathed in my pool that first day, he was all tangled up inside. Like a bucket of crabs, all chaos and pinchy. That guy was broken.” Gary muttered.

 

“No longer, whatever circumstance caused this sad end has been left behind. The soul continues. You have touched the eternal and seen how life cycles through all creation. He will get another try before long.” Solange said softly. 

“The brevity of your lives can be a blessing at times. You yourself share a few of the traits that defined his short life. Mindless violence and stabbing things are seldom  solutions to complex problems.” The dryad patted him on the arm, as one would a dull child, struggling with a lesson.

 

“Ouch, fair point.” He grumbled. “I haven’t killed anyone, urges aren’t actions Sol…” Gary trailed off for a moment. “Hey! You wanted to murder me when we met!” 

He turned to face the embarrassed creature. “You were adamant that you had to ‘cleanse’ me… now you have issues with killing people?”

 

“You aren’t really a ‘people’ in the strictest sense…” Otho said quietly. “There are some gray areas…” The old man seemed embarrassed as well.

 

“I see.” The musician’s expression became even less warm, as the temperature of the bath began to drop. “My family and I will not be sold down the river, Otho. Is Joy losing her nerve?” 

The steam began to subside, as the water cooled. “I can and will take my children and vanish. We won’t be taken to your capital, not by undead monsters, not by you.”

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“Gods boy, control your emotions. You’ll chill my bollocks off!” The old priest scrabbled for the edge of the rapidly cooling bath. “That is Theo’s latest angle, he is demanding you be fostered to the temple of Craft. He claims your gifts should be used to fuel War’s legion with arms and armor.” The old man wrapped himself in a robe and shivered.

 

“Most of the clergy have at least considered your claims, only War, Craft and Order still resist. Certain technical matters of the law make this more complex.” He shifted awkwardly and dipped a toe back into the water. 

“Orphans are not considered citizens, but rather the children of the adventure guild. That makes all orphans property of the state in certain uncomfortable ways, until their majority. Your own case has some… wrinkles that complicate matters further.” Otho slipped back in with a sigh. “Really, I’m too old for such sudden temperature shifts…”

 

“So slavery does exist in human lands… you guys just like to keep it neatly dusted under the rug.” He grinned his foolish, toothy smile. “I guess Theo wants my sweet ass enough to push the issue, it’s nice to be wanted. He is starting to feel more like a stabbing solution every day.”

 

“An Theo tries tae take thee, I’ll butcher him meself; an ye murder him, ye’ll nae se aught more of me boy. Mark that well and true, I’ll nae let a murderer near children of mine.” Shai stood at the door, looking highly put out.

“Get yerself dressed, ere ye shrivel up like a prune.”

 

“You know,” Gary began, as he dressed himself, by summoning his clothing from nowhere. “...I wondered how that works, he had a lot of Order bound up in him, but he still had no problem doing… whatever, don’t tell me. How is that possible?”

 

“Even in your unique condition, with Knowledge and your spider friend inside you… can they control your actions? Or even advise or influence you in your waking state?” Otho shook his head sadly. “Order is only vaguely aware of those with whom he is contracted.” 

“Clergy are a different matter. Becky, Myself, Tawny and I venture, soon Shai and Dannyl, we are able to hear and speak with our deities in a more or less direct manner. Not a literal conversation, but an exchange of information.” 

 

He licked a thumb and smushed down the worst of Gary’s cowlicks with paternal fondness. “Whatever you get up to at night is something else entirely, something very exciting and terrifying.” He bowed to the ent and dryad, who were observing the mortals with silent interest.

“I have been meaning to ask, that machine that they put the unfortunate Brennan into…”

 

“The GyroPope? Joy said I needed to change my perspective and become more flexible… I think she was just messing with me.” He laughed ruefully.

“Liam loves it, he says it feels like flying. I just get dizzy.”

 

“May I try it? I find myself intrigued.-” The old priest asked. “I have been bottlenecked in my mana cultivation for about sixty years…”

 

“You wanna meditate under the waterfall in my human hamsterball to cultivate your mana channels?” He asked very slowly, while Otho nodded and smiled.

 

“I don’t know what a ‘hamsterball’ is but yes!” The old man seemed on the level.

 

“So should I expect qi pills and wonder drugs? Secret martial arts and mountain top sects?” He asked carefully.

 

“Those went out of fashion a few decades ago, the fad should roll back around before too long I suppose.” The old man draped a scrawny arm around his shoulder and grinned. 

“Why? Do you have a secret martial art? I think too secret by half, I’ve seen you spar with Dannyl.”

#

 

Out in the common room, things were subdued. All the combined ‘fringers’ and ‘beasts’ looked uncomfortable with the situation. The ‘townsmen’ seemed just as embarrassed and awkward. The room had that ‘someone’s relative got wasted and soiled themselves’ vibe.

 

“Shai my love, put it all on my tab tonight… guys, it’s on the house.” Gary winked at Ivy, who slipped behind her drums with relief. Gary got it rolling with a simple rhythm on the mandolin, before long he was just strumming and chatting in time.

 

Hey everybody, it’s time for a song.

 

Life gets weird, things go wrong.

There’s one thing, one true constant.

 

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant

Walk right in it's around the back

Just a half a mile from the railroad track

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant…

 

He went on and on, in blank verse, telling a nonsense story about garbage and terrible criminals… Eventually they tuned him out, hardly noticing when he and Ivy strayed into experimental jazz. The big flute came out and they wandered pretty far into the realms of avant garde cuban jazz fusion lullaby.

 

“What is this music?” Malus asked sleepily. “It’s restful, and confusing.” 

 

“It’s bedtime, Me and mine have to head back to Wheatford before it’s too late. Evil plots to foil, you know. We will be packing up at first light.” He yawned and stretched as they wrapped up the music.

  “Anybody that’s going upstream is welcome to skip along with us, but we will be moving fast. I’d head out tonight, but the kids are in bed.” 

 

The mad musician waved cheerily at Stillbend, whose right side was swathed in a clean, white bandage. The man looked pale and worn, perhaps from blood loss… He was staring into the abyss of Shai’s ‘blood and loins’ menu. 

Her new standard meal for anyone doing poorly had a lot to recommend it… It was also a lot to manage; beef liver, grilled tender with a sweet glaze, braised greens, cornbread and rusty nail water. 

“You must master the meal, to truly master yourself.” He intoned, as though his stupidity were some grand parable, bearing deep wisdom...

# 

 

Axio did not find his way into the dream house. Gary did, but not for long. He drifted into dreamless slumber, while mushrooms and fungi began spreading in the shady corners and damp spots of his garden. Mosses and creepers entangled themselves among the stones, while tiny flowers sprouted at the base of his walls.  

 

“I did nae fancy that mushroom man, but he does get results in all.” Shai said softly, while Thirp swung Amy in her web hammock. “Dae ye think we kin prevail in this mad… battle of ours?” 

 

She nodded her whole body, tipping forward slowly. “The magical ecology of your world has been altered by external forces, of that there is no doubt. This event or events, occurred so long ago that even my lord Aclintherios has no knowledge of the mysterious thing that so altered his former realm.” The semi divine spider sang.

“Considering what we know so far, Gary’s theory seems sound. Lady Gritschke may have more input; she has nearly solved her temporal distortion problem.”

 

“Her I do like, aye her advice would be good…” Shai’s eyes flashed fiercely. 

 

“Her nature as a goddess of the hunt resonates with your connection to the god of beasts. You two should very much enjoy each other’s company, perhaps more…” The gregarious spider bobbed happily. “You are going off to join Gary, good night!”

#

 

The early rising boy usually kept himself entertained ‘down in the lab’, not today. He started shaking her awake a half hour before dawn’s first light.

“Coffee’s brewed, help me with the kids, we gotta get home fast.” The boy was active, happy and smiling, but moving briskly and with intention.

 

“Be there trouble at home? Summat happens?” She demanded. “I would know why we hurry so.”

He grinned and dry washed his hands in agitation. “Let’s run through the sitch… Lilith shows up, so the duke rides out to handle that, poor thing, I hope she’s ok…” 

“Anyway,  a worm heads for Flintspire, that should have carried all the remaining forces of the duchy away and held them there for a while. Suddenly, ‘oh no, the causeway washed out…’ But now, a worm is heading for Wheatford… all or most of the people escape as refugees… so we increase the output of human despair and pressure local realms. All very neat and tidy.”

 

“Ye do think more mischief will be afoot…” She muttered darkly.

 

“I think that this little farming operation has been going on for a long time, this can’t be the first time the livestock have noticed the farmer.” He grinned up at the sky with a sly wink. “I think that when something like me pops up, he tries to catch it. Failing that he scrubs that region and humanity chalks it up to ‘the great struggle’ against monsters.” 

Tomatoes stuffed with roasted vegetables and rice, leftover from the night before, came sliding out of the oven, as he lectured. 

He landed the shallow tray of stuffed and roasted morsels on the table with a grin. “Uggoth and Grol made these last night…” Gary jumped back into his suppositions and assumptions. 

“He probably does the same for anyplace that becomes too prosperous or innovative. In the chaos, any trouble makers can be quietly removed. Cue the plot that was most likely in motion before my ass even got here.”

Becky came trundling down with the kids, while Gary and Shai set the food out.

“We are gonna go home and act like everything is normal, like good cattle, meanwhile we arrange our friends to snoop around, just like when we were hunting the worm. Summoning rituals need magically potent places, we keep our eyes open. I wanna catch some of these guys.”

 

“Shush, dinnae prattle on dark matters wi me children near.” She kissed him and swatted his rump. “Eat up, we must fly home, ye would play wi yer friends, nay?”

 

The Sparrowhawks and Bathers prepared to ride and in some cases run, while the Stonesmiths and the warband parted ways on the island. 

“The boat will return for us in three days, until then we will continue to ‘work’ on the structure.” Maer growled contentedly in the spring sunshine. “We will be building a few additions here. The beavers think that meadow needs monitoring.”

 

“Welcome to the neighborhood, for whatever my welcome is worth. I gotta go pry Wilford off of Kai, see you around Maer, anything you guys need from me, just ask, watch out for weirdos.” Gary shook the massive paw and smiled happily.

Maer gave him a look that was hard to interpret… it felt a lot like ‘you kidding me?’

Amy skipped by with Axio and Solange, and collected Wilford from Kai’s head. “Looks like we are skipping again…” He started strumming his mandolin, just a simple bouncy chord progression. “Everybody ready?” When he got nods all around he started skipping and singing.

 

Follow the Yellow Brick, follow the Yellow Brick, follow the Yellow Brick Road!

 

You're off to see the Wizard, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

 

You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz, if ever a Wiz there was.

 

If ever, oh ever a Wiz there was, The Wizard of Oz is one because,

 

Because, because, because, because, because

Because of the wonderful things he does!

 

As the music faded, Nazar nodded to Maer. “Those kids are weird.”

 

“Fun though.” The bear grumbled softly.

“If the kid’s right, this is where the action is going to be.” Stillbend muttered from his seat next to one of the carters. “I’m not ready to retire, ready to settle down though.”

 

They rode off without further comment, enjoying the quiet and sunshine.

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