Chapter 89: Forest 2

Shina and I continued where we left off. I now know where she got her daddy issue. It's not because of her assumed father but because of me. She told me she was so close on giving up from loving me when she discovered who am I to her. However, It seems fate didn't allow her to give up. 

"So Shido, I don't want to see you as a father but as a Man. That's what I told myself. I truly understood my love for you is genuine. Even if I force myself to look at you as my father, I think it wouldn't work because of how I felt towards you. However, even if I look at you as a Man I love, I cannot run away from the reality. You are still my biological father." Shina lean her back on the tree. She placed her right hand on my cheek as she softly caress my cheek. Her eyes is gazing at me with deep affection. I can see her love deep within those eyes. 

I open my arms widely. Scooping her through my embrace. Shina followed by circling her arms around my body as she grip my shirt from the back. She restrd her face on my chest. Gently patting her back, placing my mouth near her ear as I whispered.

"Baby I didn't know you'd experience such difficult issue. It's hard isn't it." I place my hand on her hair, brushing her thinly hair with my fingers. 

"Un, It's so hard. I was in pickle, It's so hard to make a decision. My heart would be in pain when the thought of losing you. My tears won't stop flowing from the pain... Knowing you we're my father made everything worsen at that time. I thought I should just give up, After all everyone knows that this feelings should not be allowed. If everyone knows about it, they would certainly criticize me. I was so afraid, I got scared knowing I would be ashamed. At that time I was ready to give up, I visited you at the hospital for the last time and will tell you I would give up my love... But, Mother stopped me, it's as if she knows what's in my mind.

She told me harshly, 'Is your love for him is that so fragile that it could break anytime! Shina, I misunderstood you!' Is what she said. I didn't know why she is supporting my love for you, She should know that you we're my father. A mother is supportive towards her daughter's forbidden love, what kind of mother is she. I wanted to ask her that. But no words could come out from my mouth instead something sparked deep in my heart. 

It's a flame, my anger. I was so angry that my mother treated my love for you as if she saw it as a garbage. She didn't how painful it is to give up on you. She didn't know how I feel. So I lash out to her, I told her not to treat my love for you so lightly.

And that's how I realize what I truly felt." Shina speak out. I can feel something wet on my chest. She is crying as she narrate her words. I could only cheer her up by patting her back softly as I listened to her. 

My only response to her is silence. It's not like I don't have something to say, it's quite the opposite I have so many things to tell her but I know the only answer to this situation is to be silent and through action. 

Separating her from me. I grab her hand, pulling her with me. Shina is still looking down, She didn't mind I stayed silent. She is only puzzled where I am taking her to however Shina stayed silent. She only held my hands firmly as she followed me onwards. 

The breezing wind rustling through the leaves of the towering trees.The leaves sang a melody of comfort for those passing through the forest. The chirping cry of birds and the squeek of little animals. 

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Our footsteps could be heard in these peaceful forest. The sounds of crackling dried leaves as we step on it. Everything is so fascinating, The wonder of nature is truly beautiful. I'm so thankful of the creator who created such lovely world. 

We arrive at our destination. It's a small clear area with a beautiful tree standing in the middle clearly trlling all the plain looking tree to move away from her. The tree is none other than a Sakura Tree with it's very beautiful pink flower. Seeing such tree is truly admirable. Shina's eyes brightened when she saw thre tree, her sad face earlier disappeared and was replaced with happiness. 

"Shido, it's pretty." Shina said. She place her hand on her chest as she admire the view of the beautiful sakura tree.

"Yeah, it is." I agreed with her. Sakura tree is the most beautiful tree I've ever known. It's also one of my favorite tree. "Shina you know sakura is really fragile when no one is taking care of them right? They need humans to help them blossom."

Shina turn her head to me. "Yes they are. Why do you ask shido?"

"Sakura tree and our heart has one thing in common. They are very fragile. Even if there are some claimed how strong their will, The fact is the heart is very fragile. Because in our heart we have weaknesses. Even if some denied it, that's the fact. Even if the cold-blooded people has some weakness inside their heart... That is why to protect our fragile hearts someone needs to take care of it, and that is ourselves. We should understand our weakness and we need to learn how to accept it despite how painful it is..." Staring at the beautiful flowers of the cheery blossom. I was thinking about my weaknesses, I have plenty of weaknesses and I undestand all of them. That is why I need to make myself strong and remind myself to not lose myself to becoming strong because there are people who I loved behind me.

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