Chapter 80: 47.1

Chapter 47.1

See You Never

Translated by boilpoil
Edited by boilpoil

 

Sun Wushe has no idea Cheng Zhaoci is misunderstanding him as looking for a father figure, is still talking, “if only all males in this world were like you.”

“That’s impossible. Besides, I’m not that good,” Cheng Zhaoci knows himself all too well, being just another average guy on Earth… who is slightly more remarkable for being a responsible adult. There are simply too many rotten males, while the higher-quality ones are not publically known for… reasons, which only exacerbates the image problem.

“I also used to think males are generally crap,” Cheng Zhaoci explains what he thought while he was on the landfill planet, and could only learn about males online, “there are actually many males who are reliable as well.”

“I see,” Sun Wushe doesn’t say whether he buys it, though. He changes the topic, “I believe there is one thing you said that isn’t correct.”

Hm? Cheng Zhaoci looks at Sun Wushe, while the movie characters’ bland, shallow dialogue and Xiao Ji’s loud snoring plays out in the background.

The romance movie is in the part featuring the typical fighting scene, which lights Sun Wushe’s face up over and over, until his face falls back into the shadows when the firing dies down.

“You told me once, that insectoids are each distinct, and so are their interactions. There is no such thing as a ‘better’ or ‘worse’ insectoid,” Sun Wushe recounts what Cheng Zhaoci himself might have forgotten he once said, “you told me that, and I was really happy to hear it. Later, though, I found that it cannot be true.”

“There are always some insectoids that are not suitable to be friends or acquaintances,” Sun Wushe smiles, “and there are also some meetings that happen under wrong circumstances. Wrong place, wrong time. The interaction is desired, but it is painfully clear that both insectoids’ paths can never intersect ever again.”

“They will each live their own, never to interact with the other one again,” Sun Wushe’s smile fades, as he turns to watch the screen.

Once again, the protagonist shemale is fighting to have a chance to marry a male.

“The reason they cannot interact is not because they cannot physically be together, but because one of them is already a bad egg,” Sun Wushe closes his eyes entirely, “do you get what I’m saying?”

“Honestly? No. What do you mean by ‘bad egg’?”

He can pick up the fact that Sun Wushe is describing himself. It might also be true they can never interact again. The ‘bad egg’ part, though, makes no sense.

He’s always found Sun Wushe bound by an awkwardness, that surfaces in various forms. Sometimes, he acts especially mature and reliable, but sometimes, wholly childish and silly. He is Wei Zhuo’s half brother who also left his family behind, but oddly enough, his relationship with Wei Zhuo isn’t as close as Meng Yuele’s is.

None of that relates to being a ‘bad egg,’ though.

“What do you think of Jin Yue?” Sun Wushe asks.

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“I don’t know enough to say,” Cheng Zhaoci tells the exact truth, “I am in no position to cast judgement on another insectoid, nor can I simply summarise an insectoid with an adjective or two. I know that he had a tragic past, but in the Federation’s eyes, he is a dangerous subversive, because he cannot ask innocent, unrelated insectoids to pay the price for what he has suffered.”

Jin Yue is pitiful, and he can also understand his motives. Understanding the motives is not the same as excusing his deeds, because there are now also the unrelated insectoids that are now his victims. Their only fault being unlucky enough to run into the pirate named ‘Jin Yue.’ Then they lost their lives.

Did any of them deserve to end up that way?

“You see, Jin Yue is definitely a ‘bad egg’ in your eyes, then,” Sun Wushe then draws direct equivalency between himself and Jin Yue, “and so am I.”

“There are things you know are wrong, reprehensible, abhorrent. You know that very well, and also understand the consequences of them,” Sun Wushe stands up, “you know you must not, but you still does it. What does that make you?”

“Perhaps, it is a sort of pendulum. The higher it is raised, the harder it falls. There must be a way to vent the frustration, to take revenge, to overthrow. It’s insanity, just like Jin Yue, just like…” like me. Jin Yue is completely insane; Sun Wushe is consciously insane. Their only difference being that one no longer cares about anything in the world, and thus does whatever he likes without considering consequences. The other will subject his actions to reason, and is capable of mimicking normal thought.

But when Jin Yue asked for Sun Wushe’s support, he agreed, without much deliberation.

Sun Wushe rationally knows his pain and suffering wasn’t at the hands of the majority of males in this world, but that did not matter. He was pained and suffered. Was he supposed to just generously, pretentiously forgive the society, forgive the world? It makes no sense. Why should he be keeping all the frustration and sadness bottled up inside?

So he decided to take revenge, to bite and tear without a care in the world. Why pretend everything is fine when it’s clearly not?

Cheng Zhaoci looks quite confounded, and thus, Sun Wushe says with a smile, “I thank you for accompanying me… It’s time I left.”

He felt like asking Cheng Zhaoci for a hug, but he also knows Cheng Zhaoci would never agree, nor did he need it. This is it. It’s a fact these two insectoids were not meant to be.

How cruel fate is to make him meet Cheng Zhaoci on the Capital planet. He knows he has feelings for the male.

But he cannot give up on his plan either. He and Cheng Zhaoci do not belong. They are parallel lines, never to intersect.

“You’re right. Romance movies in our society is truly terrible.”

It really is true what Cheng Zhaoci told him the last time they went to see a movie. When one is in love with another insectoid, everything else becomes irrelevant… But not Sun Wushe. He knows he is too narrow-minded. He cannot forget his own grudge.

He had an urge, to share his short, fleeting life with another insectoid. Sun Wushe had such an urge. Yet he loathed to discover later on, that he had no capability to offer said insectoid a stable, happy life.

Insectoid movies are truly bland and static, especially when Sun Wushe has felt the associated emotions firsthand.

Emotions he now deems useless and to be discarded, “I’m going. You and your older brother can keep watching, or I wouldn’t make it in time.”

Then Sun Wushe turns to leave, without so much as giving Cheng Zhaoci another glance or another word.

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