Chapter 18: Chapter 17

A man felt a pair of eyes stare into his back. It didn't take him long to locate the source of his ire, perched on a wall outside.

The 'herald of the old gods' as he liked to call himself had somehow located a man.

A man remained unimpressed. He had expected more.

This was a divine mission?

Being found out by one man was hardly a problem for a man. Nor was being unfound again.

A man quietly made his way to another woman of the same stature and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Ilyana...Ilyana!" A man spoke excitedly, matching the female face a man wore, "Don't look, but when I went outside just now, I saw Lord Herald looking at you."

"Really?" The other woman was surprised.

"Yes."

"He was probably looking at someone else.... I'm not worth his attention..." She denied but a man could tell it was a lie.

A man was satisfied.

"Lord Herald isn't like other men. Maybe his tastes are different too? You will never know if you don't give it a chance." A man subtly urged, "Can you imagine it, the love between a man of the gods and a common maid~"

The other woman's eyes twinkled with hope as she heard it and a man knew his work was done.

He stealthily made his way to the other end of the kitchens, a blind spot from the other man's perch and waited.

A man didn't have to wait for long.

No sooner had he left her, a man saw the woman pick an excuse to go out and see for herself, lost in fantasy.

And a man knew when to grab his chance.

Within a breath, a man was out of the kitchen and had become another man with a grizzled old face, disappearing into the evening crowds.

.

"Where did he go?" I scanned the crowds but I couldn't find the maid. He must have turned into the soldier.

My bounded fields hadn't triggered, even the ones on the walls. That meant he hadn't jumped off the walls to escape then. He's still inside.

[Wait, I sense him. There!] PK sent me a location.

It was far away from the barracks, in an isolated corner of the castle. What's he doing there?

[I don't know but do you want to let him escape?]

No. Let's go.

I dashed across the castle with reinforcement on and arrived at the spot within the minute. It was an old tower attic at the edge of the castle, dusty and empty, walls cracked and windows bolted. Setting up a bounded field on it, I entered, ready to engage him.

He was just a little stronger than an average Joe, with shapeshifting, while I have reinforcement strong enough to break stone and telekinesis to catch him. I can take him.

This will be easy. I thought to myself when suddenly, my whole body froze in place.

"What?"

[Don't what me. You know what. We need to talk.]

"About what? Let me go."

[About this. What you're doing? It's stupid.]

"Stupid how?"

[You're trying to fight a possibly divinely empowered assassin on your own.]

"I have to kill him before he kills me." I argued.

[I know. But why do YOU need to be the one to do it?]

The revelation crashed into me like a tidal wave and echoed like thunder in my mind.

"Oh." I realized my mistake.

I was trying to fight him. On my own.

What was I thinking?

[Exactly. Why are you trying to solo him? Sure maybe you could take him. But he's a trained killer and you are no fighter. You said it yourself. Why not just go to Lord Stark and have his men die for you? If he knows there's a faceless man in Winterfell he will help you no questions asked.]

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"Right. I'll do that. Now can you unfreeze me?"

[No. That's not all. I have a lot to say and you're going to listen. This isn't the first time you have made a stupid move. And I am seeing a pattern here that needs to be addressed before it turns into a problem.]

"....go on."

[Look when we first came here, you antagonized the Starks injured one of their men and threatened them with a prophecy of doom, which cpuld have gotten you killed.]

"I had no choice. Sure, if I had time I could have come up with something better, but you try doing that with ten spears pointing at you.

Besides, I was weak. They were strong. I had to scare them.when a bear comes up to your house, do you go 'Oh hello Mr. Bearington. What a lovely day to have you visit us! Would you like to come in for some tea and crumpets? Let me assure you, I am no threat to you, oh no siree~'? Because the bear will kill you if it sees you're not a threat. You need to square up to it, shout and wail and make yourself look like a threat to survive that. It's common sense. Besides, I needed to access the Godswood to open my magic circuits. Was there another way to do that? To convince the Starks to let me into their exclusive nobles only forest retreat?"

[I'm not saying it was bad, just dangerous. And I'm not calling you out on it. Just pointing out a pattern. I know it was the best you could do then and there.

It gave us food and shelter and time to train you up to a certain level. It's also why I didn't say anything about the healing program you started, even after you refused to take the money. Because I understood.

But now? You have power, your reputation is built, and you have mended your relationship with the Starks. So why are you still acting like this?]

"Like what?"

[Like an idiot! I only spotted this pattern today because it was on clear display against this assassin.

Your desperate bid for control over your own life that's leading you to make stupid decisions.

Look, you can lie to yourself but I know it as well as you. You're afraid of losing control, of not knowing what is going to happen, what others will do. And you're overcompensating for your lack of understanding by exerting control over everything you can. I must do this, I must do that. I need to manipulate Jon Snow, I need to fight the assassin, I need to be the herald of the old gods, I need to convince the king of his cuckoldry. I, I, I.....all around.

I understand that you're afraid of all this uncertainty, the lack of a stable foundation of knowledge to bank on. But you can't do everything on your own. You need to delegate! It's the fundamentals of manipulation. I know your plans for the king. I know what you want to do, but have you even considered that maybe, the king won't trust you?]

"That's why I'm building a reputation and gaining Lord Stark's support."

[But King Robert doesn't believe in the old gods. Your status as the herald is good for getting us a roof over our head and Stark support but it won't work on Robert.]

"That's where Lord Stark comes in, to vouch for me." I pointed out.

[Which will only cause Robert to mistrust you even more and accuse you of witchcraft and mind control.]

I sucked in a cold breath.

He was ...right.

Why didn't I see this before?

Where did...when did I get so... ugh, so stupid and blind to the obvious?

[Your plans aren't bad but this fear of losing control is ruining it for you. It's actively making you dumber.

I can't believe I have to say this but....You are good at manipulating people. So manipulate them to do what you want. Don't do everything yourself.]

I gulped.

I have been so wrapped up in this urgency, this fear....I forgot the basics of who I am. What I do.

[Good. It's not too late to change it. Just...take a step back, relax. Take a deep breath and look it over once before you jump into it. And remember, if all goes to shit, I can always just portal you to another world. Just make sure to keep my reserves charged.] PK consoled me.

"Thanks PK." I sighed, and felt my body unfreeze, and I fell to the floor in a cloud of dust. "I'll do that."

I sat down, took a deep breath, calmed myself down and took a step back, closing my eyes as I began to think it over.

Instantly, a new plan began to form in my mind. A simpler, yet far better one.

I can't believe I didn't see this earlier.

But, I see it now.

"PK, let's go meet Lord Stark. I know where the assassin is."

________________

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