Chapter 45 : Tempus fugit (Adrenalin shot/Never better)
Midtown High hockey practice range, Midtown High, Queens, New York, 28th of January, 18:02, in Cindy Moon’s mind.
The last whistle of coach Abernatty pulled Cindy out of the zone and her posture relaxed.
She had hoped that Aria had been wrong, that she had exaggerated how mind numbingly boring Cindy’s favorite sport would become now that she was juiced up on spider voodoo magic.
Sadly, the golden girl had been right.
The one hour forty-five minutes of practice had been both a slog and an exercise in patience for the dark haired girl. Having been made to watch easily preventable mistakes happening in slow motion for what felt to her like ages had almost driven her up the wall. And when you factored in the fact that if she just let go of the guise of the ‘totally-a-normal-human-being-nothing-to-see-here’ she was now forced to wear in society, she could’ve prevented those mistakes and guaranteed an easy win for her side, even if it was totally useless.
Maddening was what it was.
Cindy’s blood hadn’t even got to pump once in the whole session, with how easy it had been to read everyone, calculate every angle, predict every little muscle twitch.
And Gwen apparently had it worse ?
Cindy couldn’t even begin to fathom how awful that could get as she repressed a slight shudder crawling up her spine.
A hand landing on her shoulder pulled her out of her funk as she made her way towards the girls’ locker room.
“That was some nice moves you got there, babe!” Her ever cheerful boyfriend Hector declared, beaming at her as he squeezed her shoulder affectionately, “You were on fire during practice today!”
As she looked at the tall sixteen year olds boy of Mexican descent, Cindy tried not to show how fake and strained her smile was.
“Was I?” She asked, “I didn’t really pay attention, I admit.”
“Oh yeah, you made Patterson go crazy with your shots, he never managed to block you once!” Hector replied with a pep.
Yeah, that’s the problem actually.
What’s the point if I know just how to shoot each time to render the goal useless?
Cindy said none of it out loud, fakely tittering in mock good humor at her boyfriend's pride.
Because, as Aria had put it so accurately the previous Friday, what was the point in playing a sport where you couldn’t possibly lose because you were suddenly supernaturally better than anyone?
Cindy had been asking herself the same question since the first shot she had landed during practice earlier. And she was drawing a blank.
Hell, she hadn’t even been focused on the game afterward, and even then she had curbstomped everyone easily.
Even getting shoulderchecked a bit rudely hadn’t phased her, her balance being apparently set in stone now.
She had liked the game because of the challenge it offered and the team’s camaraderie, and now she had been robbed of the former by the meadling of a spider deity.
As her boyfriend pulled her closer in a side-hug, Cindy was feeling a bit sad.
That was a shame, really, now that her mother had finally realized that she shouldn’t be as overbearing as she used to with her daughter, now that she finally got the freedom to play the sport she liked, her own interest in it had probably waned for ever.
“I’ll say, if you keep that rhythm, the team will definitely have a good chance at the state tourney!” Hector continued, oblivious of her inner dilema.
Cindy took in his feature once more, his brown eyes twinkling in anticipation as his mouth was curled up in an easy smile.
For a long while, at least for her, she just stood there, soaking in the fact that the both of them had now been estranged in their mutual interest.
“Yeah, probably.” Cindy answered as she faked another smile to his benefits.
As she lied to his face, Cindy was starting to feel more and more conflicted about her own feelings.
But try as she might, she was wont to spoil him from his own enjoyment the way she had been.
“I tell you babe, I’m sure of it!” Hector carried on, unperturbed by Cindy’s growing awkwardness, “Maybe the national won’t be out of reach this year!”
With a last squeeze of her side and a peck on her cheek, Hector left Cindy as the two neared their respective locker’s room.
Cindy stayed there for a bit, gazing on his slowly receding back while refraining herself from biting her lips in frustration.
It was… So unfair.
She had never been this good, never been at the top of her game like this. But knowing that it was all due to a fluke ruined it for her.
As her eyes got downcast while finally stepping through the locker’s room, she caught a glimpse of her own hand.
She stared at it for a while, going through the post-training routine she usually observed absentmindedly.
And suddenly, Cindy remembered.
She remembered how it felt to fall from a twenty story building without fear, to feel the wind hitting her face ever faster.
How it was like slamming the brake of her car when she weaved a web shot at the perfect spot on the perfect timing to avoid pancacking herself on the asphalt at the last moment.
How it felt to be suddenly devoid of the influence of gravity at the apex of her jumps.
How it truly felt to be this powerful, with this much strength tightly coiled in her muscles while she did impossible jumps at unnatural speeds.
How the whole of it, once the freaking out part had come to pass, was so intoxicating.
How her existence now got her blood pumping like it never had.
Letting her hand fall as she stepped under the shower, Cindy finally realized something.
She wouldn’t be able to experience something like that in the normal world. Anansi’s magic had definitely spoiled her by now. Hell, even her classes were now trivial when she now had all the time in the world to puzzle a problem by herself to give the optimal answer.
Yet, she had an inkling as to where she might find a meaning to her existence, a chance to make a difference while satisfying her own little vice.
After all, if all it took to justify web slinging around was to catch a few bad apples in the act, why would she refuse herself her own shot of adrenalin?
Resolving herself to quit the team in a month’s time if the situation hadn’t changed by then, Cindy turned the shower’s faucet, letting a curtain of almost scalding hot water fall on herself.
Unknowingly to her, her smile was this time genuine and anticipatory.
***
Aria’s bedroom, The Thompson’s household, Forest Hills, Queens, 31th of January, 17:15, in Gwendolyn Stacy’s mind.
When Aria had come to her with a little side-project between their now scheduled training session, Gwen had unabashedly reminded her that she still had to hold her promise to teach her how to properly meditate.
The blond had meant it more as a jest than anything else, expecting it to be postponed, but Aria had readily accepted.
And now, here she was, stepping in Aria’s private sanctum.
“Make yourself at home.” The golden girl said conversationally as she held the door open for her, gallantly showing her the way.
Discreetly taking in the girl’s features as she stepped through the threshold, Gwen felt the tip of her ears getting hotter.
Of all things, Iris had chosen to cloth her host in an almost form-fitting one piece suit, criss-crossed with a slew of belts today. The matte black of the outfit and the way it hugged her form made it extremely distracting to Gwen.
To her dismay, the teenager realized that she was supposed to learn how to let go of her thoughts while her crush was standing nearby wearing that.
The task promised to be herculean.
“Thank you.” She politely answered, her eyes desperately attempting to latch onto any other details of the room to distract herself from her more distracting thoughts.
Sadly for her, the room was nearly empty of any personal effect, offering neither an appropriate distraction nor a window into Aria’s personality.
Gwen was apparently going to be condemned to fidget in place while trying to think of anything beside Aria’s curves.
“We can try on the bed, but I’d suggest the rug for a start…” Aria started conversationally.
And wasn’t that a loaded sentence for Gwen’s mind.
Locking her jaw, the blond tried her hardest to repress the blush taking her cheeks as Aria ended her sentence.
“...Since it’ll be easier with a proper posture, attempting to clear your mind while sitting on something soft is surprisingly difficult.” The golden girl explained, unaware of Gwen’s turmoils.
Ah, yes, meditation.
That’s why we’re here.
Nothing else.
As her eyes darted involuntarily toward Aria’s hips once again, a fact the golden girl was unaware of since she was busy closing the door, Gwen squeaked out an answer.
“The rug it is then.” Gwen answered, and if Aria noticed that her tone was just a little strangled, she said nothing.
“Good choice.” Aria complimented easily as her eyes locked onto Gwen’s, “That’s how I started too.”
A beat passed as Gwen lost herself into Aria’s eyes as they bore into her.
Blessedly for her, it was only too long of a moment for Gwen herself.
“If you want to get rid of your shoes or something, please do so.” Aria continued as she stepped nearer, “It’s important to feel at ease, and if your shoes smother your feet or dig into your thighs while sitting cross legged you’ll obsess over it in a record time, trust me on this.”
Gwen wordlessly nodded as she went to pull her Marie-Jeannes off, considering they were indeed a bit too tight for her.
Or maybe it was the fact that Aria and her were alone in the former’s bedroom that made the situation a bit too stiffening for herself.
“So,” Aria started once Gwen had finished removing her shoes, “For starters, you’ll have to find a comfortable position to sit yourself in.”
Gwen belatedly watched the other girl as she elegantly fell into a cross legged position, complete with her toes in her knees’ crook.
“For example, I’m comfortable like this since I practiced yoga for a time.” Aria explained while gesturing at her lotus pose, “It isn’t necessary at all though. If you’re a bit stiff, it’ll even be uncomfortable. I wouldn’t recommend it to a beginner but since I’m preaching that you should pick whatever posture you like the most, I’m showing you by example.”
“I had some dance practice.” Gwen blurted out, a bit more forcefully than needed.
Aria raised an eyebrow at that, inducing a little hiccup in the blond’s heartbeat.
Internally, Gwen bemoaned her own reactions at each of the girl’s moves.
“So, you’re flexible is what you imply, hm?” Aria asked.
Gwen chose not to answer as she dropped herself into a similar posture as her host’s own, albeit less perfect.
Her mutism absolutely wasn’t due to the innuendo her treacherous mind had chosen to interpret Aria’s question as.
“Alright, as long as you’re comfortable.” The golden girl allowed with a shoulder shrug that had Gwen’s eyes instantly snap toward her sky blue ones.
That one piece suit was starting to become a torture on her mind.
“What I’m particularly knowledgeable about is what we call ‘breathing meditation’,” Aria started to explain to Gwen’s immense relief as she could once more focus on something less treacherous, “It’s a type of exercise where you focus on your own breathing at the abstraction of everything else and you gradually open your perception onto its influence on your body as a whole.”
Aria paused, making a show of taking a deep and slow breath intake.
Transfixed by the sight of the girl inhabiting her fantasies as she was letting go of everything around her, Gwen’s perception of her own time got loose as she simply watched.
When Aria finished her exhale and gazed on the blond with half-lidded eyes, Gwen’s heart decided to suffer from a little hiccup once more.
There was a certain irony behind the fact that she had her own breath taken away during a lesson on how to breath following a pattern.
“You’ll want to take slow, even breaths.” Aria explained, gesturing slowly to mimic her previous motion, “You can even repeat yourself a little mantra to center yourself while doing it. For example, I choose to focus on the fact that the air I take is always colder than the air I let go. This way I am tricking my mind to latch on that simple fact that remains constantly true and it helps me clear my mind even faster.”
Aria paused once again, seemingly mulling onto something.
“We’ll start simple for now,” She added after a beat, “We’ll try something different if you’re struggling, but do not lose patience. Finding the right method can take some time or more appropriate circumstances. The amenities we have here are quite lacking.” She ended up with a smile.
Gwen blinked at that.
“How so?” She asked puzzlingly.
The room was quite empty for sure, but to learn something barebone like the mindset needed to meditate, Gwen supposed it was enough.
“Well, we could work on the lightning or the soundproofing,” Aria answered easily, “Listen closely for a moment for example.”
Gwen closed her eyes and focused as the both of them got quiet.
Her hyperactive brain rewarded her with the answer soon enough, as the muffled sound of someone walking in the house or even outside noises started to reach them.
She sighed lightly.
“You’re right, this could be distracting.” Gwen conceded as she opened her eyes once more.
“Even more for you considering your senses are dialed up to eleven.” Aria commented with a light smile, “No matter, we will find something if it is too distracting.”
The golden girl clapped her hand with a beaming smile.
“Let’s get started shall we?” She said while shuffling herself into a better position, “Just give it a try for now, and tell me what you think.”
Gwen nodded and closed her eyes once more.
She could tell immediately that it wasn’t working at all.
She was obsessing over the noises, over the smells and over her heels digging into her legs.
Even five excruciating minutes later, a small eternity for her, she wasn’t able to let go of anything.
Worse, her own nose had miraculously latched onto the light citrus smell of what she suspected to be Aria’s shampoo and it was driving her crazy, making her fidget uncontrollably.
With a sigh, Gwen opened her eyes to find Aria staring at her.
The blond’s green orb instantly shifted to the side a little guiltily.
“This isn’t working, I take it?” Aria gently asked.
“Not really.” Gwen mumbled back, “I’m too distracted I think.”
Aria folded her arms over her chest, the fingers of one of her hand tippy-tapping absentmindedly on the opposite arm.
After another small eternity, she suddenly rose herself as she muttered ‘Let’s try this maybe’.
Gwen didn’t properly react until the golden girl seated herself with her back against her own.
“What are you doing?” She squeaked.
The other girl chuckled at her tone, and the rumbling was transmitted through Gwen's body.
Oh.
I see.
“I want you to try a joint meditation exercise with me.” Aria explained as she leaned a bit more onto Gwen’s back, “After we have found the proper balance for the both of us, you will this time focus on my respiration. This way, you’ll focus on one distraction in particular and maybe forget the rest. Granted, this is just me trying to circumvent the fact that you could probably hear Harrison’s snores like he was right next to you while he is in his bedroom.”
Gwen chuckled at the comparison, and resolved to try her best.
Taking a deep breath to psych herself up, she leaned herself against Aria’s back.
Immediately, the back of her own head encountered something cushy and smelling suspiciously like citrus.
Fighting another blush as some puffy white curls were now framing her own face and tickling her ears, Gwen closed her eyes after shuffling a bit to find a good posture.
“I’m ready.” She said, dearly hoping it was truly the case.
“Alright, follow my lead.” Aria answered, and she inhaled.
As Gwen mirrored her, she was made aware of every motion of Aria’s ribcage.
And suddenly, almost all of her hyperactive brain’s attention latched onto it, deciphering each of the little muscles twitch Aria was making with this simple act through her sense of touch.
Aria exhaled, and Gwen followed suit, the grip she had unknowingly tightened on her knees starting to relax.
As the exercise continued, Gwen’s focus lasered on anything that she could feel through her own clothes, slowly neglecting the rest.
She forgot the noises of the houses and the outside.
She forgot the citrus smell that permeated her nose.
And, after a while, she even forgot the tumult that had been in her mind since that fateful thursday.
Slowly, as only Aria’s even breathing remained of importance, Gwen started to welcome a smidget of calm in the churning sea of her psyche.
There was only the feeling of the other girl’s back and head against her own and the slow motion of her ribcage raising and falling in rhythm.
The moment stretched like forever, a welcome peace after all the questions Gwen had asked herself during the weekend, all the plans started and aborted as soon as they emerged from her brain, all the interrogations about her future, all of her fantasies about her golden crush.
There was just peace in her mind and for once she was serene.
Things will be fine.
This is not the end of the world but the beginning of my life.
She will be mine just as much as I will be hers.
Too soon, the moment broke as Aria spoke again.
“Better now?” She asked lightly.
“Never better.” Gwen answered easily.
As the both of them started the exercise once more, Gwen was surprised by the fact that she had, in fact, never felt better than at this moment.