It's the shadows that tell me. A familiar shadow. It is a shadow, much like the outline of an old man who admires his father and his sisters.
"No more, no more..."
I didn't want to hear it. With that voice, those words.
I've never thought of myself being abandoned before.
I also had the pride that someone needed me, and now others needed me.
Still, somewhere in my mind, I said, "Why?" It is certain that there was a question.
Your father educated the other sisters - automated dolls of his own volition and made them independent, but he didn't have anything special to teach and tell himself, and he immediately deposited it with others.
Like the blonde boy said, I used to wonder if he didn't need it anymore.
Parents normally raise their children under their own. That period is not of the order of four or five years.
Nonetheless, isn't it because you don't need to grow it that you let go immediately?
Isn't it because there wasn't any love to pour or anything?
That way, my anxiety keeps folding and swelling.
Because a familiar voice fuels it.
Because I say those words in those people's voices.
I need it.
He threw it away.
In this red-purple closed world, let the stretched shadows hold it from the top.
Two, I was in the middle of it, blocking my ears and giving in to words like that that that the shadow whispers.
"... man"
The shadow that surrounded itself, with its frightened voice, is torn apart by sorcery.
"- What are you doing, genius? Wouldn't it be nice to get hooked up with a technique like this?"
This voice is familiar, too.
This belongs to a magician boy who knows himself well.
Yes, it was the Sorcerer of the Order, Mitsumi Hachiki, who appeared in a world with only this shadow.
"... yes, now you are. Sumiaki-kun"
"Hmm?"
"You've come to tell me that you don't need me, too, right?
When he threw up like that to curse, he shrugged his shoulders and sighed, as he always did.
"Hey, you're not messing around. I'm real, right? I'm not the shadow you've been watching."
"Once you make hope, you immediately return your palms and hurt them with that fallout. It's the M.O. I've been doing since before."
"Oh my God, you're so sloppy. Damn, look at me. Over here. Is this prickly skin a shadow? Yeah?"
"... really"
If you look closely, it was certainly a real watering light, not a shadow. Until just now, it was a shadow, but now it is a real thing with a colour flavour. I don't know what kind of hobby it is, but he's not this shadow, he's not the one to disparage himself.
This Mizumi drops her shoulder as if she was "not at all..."
I asked him that.
"... Hey Mizumi. You don't need me?
"What? A kid you don't need?
"That's right. Didn't your father let me go because he no longer needed me?
When asked so, Shuiming shook her neck to the side.
"Is that why? If you really didn't think Jazz needed you, you wouldn't have come to the Order."
"So what's the reason? I have another sorcery, but you remember other sorceries, and that's what it makes sense?
"It's..."
After all, can't you answer that? I was born in this world with magic. I really don't need to force myself to learn another sorcery. You don't have to do that, but as a magician, you can already do it. Then again, it should come to pass that there was no point in the Order being sent out as a disciple, under the auspices of Shuiming.
"... I knew I was built by your father and that was it. If you didn't, your father wouldn't let me go. Your sisters all grew up with their fathers..."
Then, as Shuiming taps even lightly,
"Dude, what the hell's wrong with your usual flirting? What? Now, you, you're not used to being told that, so you just got a little bit spoiled, right? That's exactly why you hooked me up, huh?
"I'm... I'm serious!
His casual light mouth is so angry that it slaps the scream.
As it triggered, from the bottom of my belly, more and more black and loose things overflowed.
"Since my father built me, I've been let go without a job or purpose. I've never been told to be useful as a homunculus or as a magician... can you really tell me what it's worth!?
"If you're a genius and you're not worth it, what are you gonna do to me, mediocre and boring?
"What's mediocre! You can do anything! You've done so many things, you've been recognized by everyone! But I don't have it!
Yes, I have no experience. Never have. Genius. I mean, what is it, but in the end, there's only one thing I'm proud of: it's homunculus. Where the hell is such a self worth it?
Even if not, the part about being that homunculus is just something given to someone.
"I am made! The power, the knowledge, the talent I have, everything I've given someone, it's not what I've got! Dumb, it's a substitute!
Even myself, half astonished that there was such a passion, he was shouting at him.
Built by someone. Given. Yeah, that means we can build the same thing again. So one of those numbers, is it worth it? Is it really what you need?
You can't even tell that.
For humans who need it from everyone.
... All I had to do after I spit them all out was overflow whimper.
Second, my hand touches my shoulder.
"Did you throw up a little?
"Me, is..."
"... Marie. Surely you're not like us. I've had everything since I was born, and for the most part, I can do one thing. But that's not all, is it? Even humans, their value doesn't all depend on when they're born. It's a monster that gradually settles down over time."
"Long, time?
"That's right. It takes a long time for any guy, but you can't be the only one that's short."
"But there's no guarantee we're going to be able to do this, is there?
"That's why Meister sent you to me. To get what you don't have, what you want, for yourself. So it's not like I never need you anymore."
Maybe so. Indeed, that is one of the possibilities.
But if not. The truth is, if everything those shadows said was right and I really didn't need it.
I wonder where I am, nowhere in the world.
With such anxiously swaying vision, he smiled gently as he stared at Mizumi.
"But still. Still, if everyone says they don't need you..."
... a boy who chases his dreams and tries to help someone who won't be saved.
Always dazzled, just a boy who kept running.
That's how he reaches out to himself.
"- I need you. So you don't have to despise yourself like that."
Poke one knee at yourself and come with me, like that.
"Really? Do you really need me?
"Oh."
"You're not going anywhere anymore? Don't you just disappear on your own?
"Oh."
"I don't like it, do I? I can't believe I left you. If they leave you alone, you're lonely, aren't you?
"Don't worry. I'm certainly here. So..."
I said take this hand.
Grab it and never let go.
I told you I'd take you wherever you need to go.
Hear his words, from within his chest, warm things overflow.
The more I realized, the more distressing my own anxiety had disappeared as if nothing had happened from the beginning.
"... yeah!
I nod loudly at his words and take that hand. The pulling force was strong, dependable and full of confidence.
Yes, this is it. Didn't he decide to go with him because he was such a person? Yes. How could I not have noticed? Danced by seemingly words, he rotted on his own and was falling into the middle of his opponent's surgery. Pity. Pity, but I can't help it.
Because he needs eight keys, Shuiming.
... for a while, Mizuming stroked my head. It's like abandoning a toddler, merciful. But I was comfortable with why it was, and it was left behind.
"- Are you calm?
"Yeah. Well, it's something that played a downright lethargy. It's my bad outfit."
"Right. That's how hard it is for you."
Blurring, Shuiming laughs happily.
And
"Do you know what's going on now?
"This is... yeah, the junction of the psychoactive system. Obstructive phantom junction?
"You look fine. Really, what's wrong with being hooked up like this?
"Absolutely. It's just not my fault."
A mouth-watering way that I don't think was rotten until earlier.
But this is the way you talk to him. Still, he accepts.
And here's what he says, as usual.
"Let's go. Break this junction and give me one shot at the guy who blew something crazy in."
"Yeah. Naturally. If you let me play such a mess, I'll make you pay for it."
That's what I say, and I go after Mizumi, who tackles the breakdown of the junction.
What you see is your back.
I remember the glare somewhere, on his back.
Looking forward to it, I often think.
He said that one day he would become a magician who could chase everyone's dreams like this boy.