Chapter 5: Chapter 5 : isekai manager isekaid, part 2

now I see why he said I’d know the kami who summoned him as soon as I get here. Men and women walk around half-naked and everyone is mega jacked.

Good lord, this looks like one of the ‘fanfic’ universes that got popular with the kami a few years back. I’ve seen things no man should see and the poor heroes who lived through that era needed extensive therapy afterward.

“do you see why I need your help now manager-san”

Why the hell would Himeros summon this agent of averageness here? The guy is so freaky that a normal kami needs to apply madness resistance before looking through his phone or PC.

“I understand your struggle sir, and I will try to solve the issue as soon as possible so we can both go our separate—”

“HEROOOO SAMAAAAA”

Who the hell is this guy now? Good god, Himeros, why did you make these people so muscular, and why is this one who’s running towards us wearing a hair armor to boot?

“HERO SAMA WE WERE SO WORRIED. COME ILL GIVE YOU A HUG.”

“No thank you, Lou. I just went to visit a friend in another world and—”

“I understand. I didn’t show enough passion, and I will fix that right away.”

Oh fuck no, this bastard is lathering oil on himself. I don’t get paid enough for this shit, and I didn’t pay a kidney and a half’s worth in student loans to do it.

“Ah I see you guys are acquainted already, so I’ll be heading to see Himeros. You kids have fun.”

My god, it looks like he’s hugging a wet bear.

“w-wait manager-san, I thought you were here to help me. I’ll t-tell Athena-sama that you left me behind.”

YOU LITTLE SHIT.

“Haha, of course I’m not leaving you. Say, Mr. Lou? Was it? how about you let him go so we can take care of work really quick? I promise you once we are done you can hug him aaaaaaaaaaaall you want.”

“but what about the rest of the party?”

What?

“the healer Jin, the assassin Kora, and the mage and most beautiful woman in all the lands, Lithonia-san, haven’t seen him in a long time. Lithonia-san is his future wife too, and she has been worried sick ever since he left.”

“She’s not my soon-to-be wife, and she’s more muscular than him. The only difference between them is her eyelashes—get him off of me now!!”

Hahaha, all right it is funny but I should probably save him before he drowns in oil and hair.

“I promise ill bring him back in no time, and I’ll even come to the wedding once they get married.”

“hmmm, fine. I’ll hold back my passion until you bring him back.”

he needs to take a shower before we meet that freak. I don’t want to excite him too much and end up like this agent of averageness here.

“so, tell me about your beloved.”

“…fuck you.”

wow, an oiled-up hairy chest can really break a man.

“Haha, I apologize for the untasteful joke—however, I do sympathize with you.”

This whole world is just a twisted fan service for that kami. Buff villagers with oiled-up muscles, everyone walking around half-naked, and the words are very… cylindrical shaped. Truly a nightmare world for the average person.

“you don’t understand. This is very tame compared to other places; believe me when I tell you that you do NOT want to see the elves and the dwarfs.”

I’d expect no less from the one kami that even Zeus can’t keep up with when it comes to being a creep, so it’s no surprise really. Thankfully he doesn’t isekai people a lot since his demons are too preoccupied with…loving each other to go conquering the humans.

Whatever, I don’t want to stay here and find out. Lunch break is fast approaching and that shawarma place usually sells out pretty quickly—speak of the devil, here is that bastard’s temple.

“I-I think I’m getting cold feet.”

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“it’s okay, just let me do the talking, and ill have you isekaied to another god’s world in no time.”

Good lord, shouldn’t temples be serene and divine?

The floors here are sticky, and I can hear faint moaning coming from somewhere in the back. Whatever ignore it, meet the freak, and burn my shoes afterward.

“well, what a lovely surprise we have here. You are the manager of the IMD, aren’t you? What are you doing in my temple along with my dear hero?”

Shit, he appeared out of nowhere, and as usual, he is wearing nothing. Fuck just look at the wall and think of that delicious shawarma waiting for you in the office

“ah Mr. Himeros, I apologize for coming suddenly but unfortunately I am here to break some bad news. You see, your hero has filed a complaint against you.”

“Huh? why would he file a complaint? This is ridiculous, even if he did why would you come here in—"

“it was endorsed by Athena by the way.”

“shit… Hero, why would you hate me? I did nothing but shower you with love and gifts since you got here. legendary swords and armor, and even faithful companions, and divine blessings.”

“MY SWORD CAUSES PEOPLE TO ORGASM TO DEATH WITH ONE CUT AND MY ARMOR HAS NO BACKSIDE.”

“and my divine blessing is inflating my enemies, it doesn’t even kill them. Just inflate them, you are creepy, just leave me alone.”

Wow, I can believe it. that freaky kami looks genuinely hurt so I should probably step in.

“t-the hero didn’t mean it that way Mr. Himeros, it’s just a difference in culture. There are many people who would love to be isekaid here, you just have to find them.”

“ah I suppose I was too enthusiastic, I’m sorry. I’ll release you of your isekai contract.”

Huh, that was way easier than I expected. Something isn’t right here.

“I already have my eye on another person after all.”

There it is.

“All right then, we’ll be going back to the office, I need to start working on hero’s transition papers. Don’t forget to file the accusation form when you isekai someone else Mr. Himeros. Have a great day.”

Come on, let’s hurry back to the teleporter, I’m cutting it real close here. I want that shawarma already, I’m starving.

There we go. enter teleporter, input coordinates. C’mon you antiquated piece of shit, start already.

*zap*

“INTERN, GO ORDER ME A SHAWARMA FROM THE USUAL SPOT. HURRY BEFORE IT SELLS OUT.”

Made it in time.

*knock* *knock*

Oh, did she bring it already? That was fast.

“come in.”

“uh—I’m sorry manager, but that shawarma place is closed.”

“WHY?”

“w-well the owner has been isekaid, here’s the form. it was sent by Himeros-sama.”

… I hate this job.

“Hey, don’t forget about me! I want my transition papers done by today.”

Kill me.

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