Chapter 2: New World, New Body, New Boyfriend??

As the strange man laughs at his own “joke”, your mind struggles to piece together where exactly you are and what exactly is happening.

First off, it’s nighttime. You’re outside, sitting on a log in a moonlit clearing. A stream runs nearby to your left, and grass tickles your feet. Which means you’re not wearing shoes. You glance down, and nothing you see makes sense.

“Ruem, dear? Are you quite alright?”

It takes you a moment to realize he’s speaking to you, but you give him your attention as soon as you’re able. It’s easier than processing your own predicament.

The man looking back at you in mild concern is tall and thin, with a sharp chin and sharper clothes. His thin moustache and goatee wrap around a crooked smile, while his eyes…

You jolt in surprise. His eyes are yellow. Maybe because of the extremely long list of new sensory information your brain has been processing, it takes you until this very moment to realize that the man sitting beside you is not human. Or if he is, he’s an amazing cosplayer, because those horns jutting out of his wavy orange hair look solid. Heavy, even. There’s also the aforementioned bright yellow eyes, his long pointed ears, and the turquoise hue of his skin.

The facts are starting to suggest that you are no longer on Earth.

Lopsided smile fading, the man says, “Seriously, Ruem, are you well? You didn’t even chuckle at my jest! I mean, the impressiveness of my dick isn’t a joke, as you’re well aware, but — ah, I see further talk of my genitalia is not delighting you as it usually does.”

Realizing you’re glaring at the man, you shift your new face into what you hope is a more genial expression. He’s still staring at you though, expecting… ah, of course, you haven’t said anything.

“Oh, sorry—”

You almost choke, hearing the voice coming out of your mouth. Ah yes, the thing you were trying to ignore, coming back to bite you! Swallowing a rising tide of panic, you press onward. “S-Sorry! I’m fine! Just… disoriented?”

“Oh, praise Eymlok!” His crooked smile returns in full force. You decide you hate it. “For a moment, I worried that your soul had realigned improperly, and left you unstable! I was sure those horror stories were poppycock, but you had me going for a moment, there!”

He slaps your shoulder and guffaws. His voice is deep and rumbling and you decide you hate it.

Trying to act a part for which you’ve not practiced a single line, you force out a laugh, covering your mouth with your hand. Well, not your hand, at least not as you remember it. This one has shorter fingers, is thicker, and has black-painted nails. Also the skin is a sort of dark purple, which is perhaps the biggest difference of all, yet it bothers you less. Because all that it insinuates is that you’re no longer in a human body. The other things, meanwhile, suggest something much more terrifying — that you’re no longer in the body of a man.

The skirt and thick thighs you’d seen earlier but tried to ignore were also strong clues, along with your higher-pitched and slightly breathy voice.

Yes, you’ve played enough games and watched enough anime to know what’s going on here. You’ve been isekai’d, and now you’re in the body of some monster or alien girl. A body that until very recently was being operated by someone else, which is one mystery of many weighing on your psyche, but the only one you have an idea of how to solve. And solving a mystery seems like much more fun than having a panic attack about your unexpected gender change, so you press on.

“S-So it… went well? The, um… sorry, words, right now…”

“Not to worry, my dear! We both know that words have never been your strong suit!” He laughs again. You decide you hate him. “But yes, yes, the astral projecting went well! At least, in the sense that you have returned to your body without issue! You’ll need to be the one to tell me how the experience itself was!”

Astral projecting? That would explain it, then. This Ruem girl must have projected, and then somehow you ended up in her body while she was gone? But… where is she now? You glance around the clearing, though you have no idea what you’re looking for. All you see are trees and what might be a squirrel or some fantasy/alien equivalent scurrying away. No restless spirits, as far as you can tell. Did her soul get lost? Or destroyed or… something? If not that—

“You’re staring blankly again, dear. Is my face really so distracting?” He laughs again. “Well of course it is, but—”

You leap to your feet, desperate to escape your immediate situation. “I’m feeling really out of it. I should probably get some rest!” As your brain catches up, you realize that you have absolutely no idea where you are. “B-but maybe you could walk me back?”

“Ha-hah! But of course! ‘Tis the gentlemanly thing to do, afterall. Magnificent, even, you might say.” He raises his eyebrows. You give him a blank stare. After a moment of increasingly awkward eye contact, he leans in close and stage whispers, “You know, because that’s me.” Your eyes narrow. He slaps his chest twice. “The Magnificent Radestro.”

Via herculean effort, you crack a smile. “Heh. Yes.”

“You may actually need to see a medic, my dear. Anyway, let us be off!”

And without warning he stoops, picks up your entire body, and sprints away from the clearing. For a moment, his firm hand presses against both your butt and… something separate from it. Then the hand shifts to your legs, and the something comes free, and you realize you can move it and that it is almost certainly a tail. You have a tail, apparently, and maybe horns, since Radestro (you vow to never refer to him as “The Magnificent Radestro” even on pain of death) has them. Or maybe that’s a thing for males of whatever species you are now? It’d be weird to feel around and check now, while a man is hurtling through the woods with you in his arms.

You’d been trying not to think about that, actually, but you have inevitably failed in your endeavor. There’s something mildly comforting about being carried this way, like a bride in the arms of her groom. Except you always figured you’d be the groom in that scenario, at least if you got better at lifting and also better at talking to women. You suppose being carried by a woman wouldn’t be so bad, but every time you glance at Radestro’s face you are reminded very firmly that he is not a woman, and it removes that vague sense of comfort like an axe removing a chicken’s head.

Working hard to ignore the chiseled chest you’re pressed against and the heavy breathing you’re beneath, your eyes take in the sights as Radestro carries you through trees, past a field and down a dirt road. Soon enough, a town comes into view, mostly dark, with a few lights in windows here and there. Before the two of you can reach any buildings, however, Radestro slows to a halt and sets you back on your feet.

“Stealth from here, as usual,” Radestro says. Cocking an eyebrow, he adds, “You are… capable?”

Of walking quietly? You certainly hope so, and nod in response. “And you’ll lead the way?”

“As always.”

The two of you skulk through town, weaving between stone buildings with pleasantly round designs. Occasionally you stop and duck into the shadows when Radestro indicates that someone is nearby, but you never experience a close call. A wall gets closer the further you sneak, and eventually you make out a large wrought-iron gate with a sign above it. The letters are clearly not English, or any other language you’re aware of, yet you can read the words with ease: “Postremon Onpertet: University of Magic.”

Mind sent reeling from the implication that Ruem attends a magic school, you barely notice that Radestro has moved over to the wall and is waving you over. Shaking the thoughts away, you approach his position, several meters away from the gate.

“We have arrived, my dear!” he whispers triumphantly.

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“...At a wall?”

“Well you need to go over it, obviously.”

“Oh.” The two of you lock eyes. Seconds that feel like hours creep by. “Are you… going to help me?”

With a noise of indignation, Radestro says, “I? Do not be silly, dearest! I do not know magic!”

“Magic? I thought… Right. Of course. Um.” Surreptitiously patting your clothes, you don’t feel anything that seems like a wand, so maybe magic here doesn’t require those? Your body wasn’t holding one when you came to, afterall. With little else to go off of, you scrunch up your face and start thinking really hard about levitating.

“...What’re you doing.”

You open your eyes. Radestro is staring at you like he just smelled a fart. “Trying to… levitate?”

“And doing a piss poor job of it.” With a heavy sigh, Radestro rolls his eyes and steps closer to the wall. “So magic is out for you tonight, is that it?”

“Apparently so.”

“You could’ve said as much.” Sighing once more, he says, “Fine, I shall help you climb the wall.”

“Oh, great! Thank—”

“But first…” He grabs your arm and pulls you close. Warning bells ring in your head but your reactions are sluggish. “A goodnight kiss!”

With no further warning, rough lips and bristly facial hair press hard against your face. The lips begin to part, a tongue beckoning yours to do the same, but you outright refuse. Scarcely breathing, you maintain just enough wherewithal to not actively pull away, reasoning that the real Ruem would not be feeling revulsion in this moment, and you’ve been acting strange enough as it is. Your resolve is truly put to the test, however, when his tongue flicks out and licks at your lips, the bristles of his goatee pressing harshly into your skin. Despite your efforts, you’re frowning, and you’re sure he can tell.

After what feels like an eternity, he pulls away, clearly dissatisfied. “Not feeling it tonight, dearest?”

Smiling weakly, you desperately quash the urge to wipe your mouth with your arm. “Y-yeah, just, disoriented, and kinda queasy?”

“Indeed.” He leans down, cupping his hands for you to step in them. You do so without a second thought, and he practically launches you upward, your upper half clearing the wall with ease. Scrambling over the top like a tiny kitten climbing a stair, you just barely hear Radestro say “Goodnight,” before you tumble head over heels and collapse in the dirt on the other side.

Rising shakily to your feet, you run your hands over yourself, making sure nothing feels broken. Panic shoots through you when you realize that both your legs are bending the wrong way, and also in more than one location, but then you reason that they’re probably supposed to do that. You hadn’t paid attention to Radestro’s, maybe his did that too. Also, you DO have horns, though they’re more like rounded stumps than the long ones on Radestro.

A light flashes in the distance, and you realize this is not a good place to stand around gawking at yourself. Sneaking forward, you eye a map with a handy “You Are Here” on it, and stop briefly to look it over. The dorms aren’t far off, so you make for them, keeping low and hiding behind things when possible.

Light appears again, much closer this time, prompting you to kneel behind a thick hedge. The light draws closer, so you scoot around the hedge, hoping whoever is in control of the light doesn’t focus it directly on your visual shield. They do not, and soon the light is past you, carried away by a tall, muscled figure. A guard of some sort, you assume.

Dashing off, you arrive at the dorms a minute or two later, and manage to slip in the doors and through the lobby with ease. Turning down a hallway, you spot a line of doors on either side, and to your great relief, they are clearly labelled with names - two each. Making your way, your anxiety rises as you near the end of the hallway with not a single door spelling out anything close “Ruem.” You turn down the perpendicular hallway, and still find nothing. Then you try a third hallway, forming three sides of a square, and still you do not see your body’s name. As you start on the last hallway, your nerves are high, since if your name isn’t here, you’ll have to climb stairs to the next floor, and you don’t think your increasingly exhausted frame can handle that. You need to find a bed to pass out in soon, or else someone’s going to find you sleeping in a hallway the next morning.

Fortunately, you find your name on the very last door of the hallway… which would have been the first if you’d gone this way to begin with. Ah well, what’s past is past. Also, your last name is apparently “Phasos.” Neat.

Reaching for the door, panic shoots through you again, and your hand drops. You search your layered clothes for a key, but find nothing. On the brink of losing it, you take a deep breath and reason that you should at least try to see if the thing is unlocked.

It is.

Hm, well that’s… trusting. Or maybe forgetful? You really don’t know your new self yet, so either seems possible. Slipping into your room, you close the door as quietly as you can, and realize that there isn’t any visible locking mechanism. So maybe the whole society is trusting? But then what about the person patrolling the grounds?

You shake your head. You are much too tired for all this thinking. Swiveling around, you glance over the room and are relieved to see that you’re alone. The other name on the door had been crossed out, so the absence tracks. There are two beds on either side of the room, separated by not nearly enough floor. Choosing which bed to sleep in is easy, at least, since one is piled high with random crap and the other is disheveled but otherwise clear. Collapsing onto the clear bed, you close your eyes and drift off to sleep within seconds.

~~~

You dream that night. Of many, many things. But when you awake, you remember almost none of it. Just one moment sticks with you, more of a feeling than a memory.

Standing on a balcony, you look out into the distance. Far away, on a different balcony, you see a girl. From this distance it’s hard to make out much detail, but she seems to be dressed in white with shoulder-length black hair. You’re sure you’ve seen her before, despite never having seen her in this or any other life.

Calling out to her proves futile — your words manifest physically and tumble into the abyss. You wave, but she does not see it. She turns, and you realize she was facing away from you. You lock eyes, her piercing red irises gazing into your very soul. Her gaze rends your flesh and your bones and your spirit until you are nothing. You wake up in the middle of the night in a sweat, one thought in your head.

Those eyes were gorgeous.