Chapter 52: 52

I have many wives. Out of them all, Moon Unit is the most worldly. It was a surprise to find out, but she had wandered the world for two full decades before coming back to Champagne to enroll in Academy. Elves tend to have a different perception of time. To her it was but a fleeting fancy of getting some experience. To a human, it is a lifetime of experiences as is. However, as she admitted to me once, she never had a good opportunity to truly partake in southern cultures. And this is what shapes our outing with her. To begin with, a long stroll in the hills outside the city, because while Moon Unit is not mentioning it out loud, she DOES feel better after reconnecting with nature, so to speak. I have noticed her taking a day every now and then to just wander the fields outside the city, and she hasn't been out in a while. Why not share the experience? Then, as we come back to the city, it will be close to evening, and we will have a big meal and lodgings in the inn that caters mostly to rich visitors from Sultanate. Carpets, pillows, hookahs... The works. They even agreed to prepare coffee to my specifications. Admittedly, the owner was flabbergasted to find out how the taste of coffee changes via roasting, so from now on, the inn offers "broiled cava".

Moon Unit is more than a little surprised when she finds out I intend to just wander around with her. Then she smiles. "It's been a while since I had anyone to share this with." - she admits - "Come to think of it, it's been... AAAH!?" Ok, maybe that was a bit mean of me to shapeshift into a tree while she was looking the other way. Ooor, maybe not. After the initial shock, she clearly appreciates the new form. So I lean it and pick Moon Unit up to sit in the branches. She's laughing as I do. A couple minutes later, and I squish back into human shape, neatly catching Moon Unit in bridal carry as I do.

"That was silly." - she tells me with a smile - "Did you know you make a very good tree if you put your mind to it? You could possibly hide in the Evergreens just by pretending to be a tree and no one would have gathered otherwise." She's not wrong, come to think about it. Making a note of it in case I have a very good reason to hide for good.

We take time to poke around the little forest. It's pretty barren of anything useful, to be honest, being so close to the city means it's picked clean of mushrooms almost as soon as they show up. The goal is to poke around and "grow as the leaf", as elves put it. I'd be hard-pressed to explain the details of this, but the rough gist is that elf barren from interacting with natural area for a while will become irritated and moody after a time. In short, a usual body reaction to lack of something. Untouched nature (or possibly significantly big chunks of artificial landscape, I suppose) alleviates the symptoms.

___

Out here in the fields surveillance is hard. Which is probably why the hashishins are not around this instance of me. However, someone is watching, and I can't quite decide who. Making our way back into the city does not diminish the feeling. But I finally find the guy responsible. An elf. No wonder I didn't find him out in the field, he could probably blend in any natural environs with much ease. On the pavement, however, he stands out enough for me to keep him in view at all times. And he is closing the distance. I wonder why, the bazaar is the most populated spot in the city, he should be falling back further not to be noticed... OOh, shit, things are getting WAY too real.

I sidestep as the guy delivers a dagger stab into the area that in his estimation should have had my kidney in it. His eyes widen as his hand passes harmlessly by my side. He has little time to do anything else other than curse as I grab his arm by the elbow and wrist and TWIST, forcing him down on his knees on the pain of losing an elbow joint for good. "RUN, sister!" - he demands through clenched teeth, no doubt intending to fight it out with evil evil me. Wonder what he assumed.

Although initially spooked, Moon Unit quickly ascertains the situation. And facepalms. Hard. "Dweezil, what are you doing here?" - she demands then - "And, separately, what do you think you are doing to my fiancée? It better not be what I'm thinking, because if it was, then I just might make good on my threat to end your dreams. You were not seriously trying to backstab the woman I love, Dweezil, now were you?" The last words are so sweet and venomous even I'm feeling a little spooky. This is the voice of little sister who's vengeance is going to make you regret you were not aborted.

"...Fiancée?" - he bleats, rapidly shifting his eyes from Moon Unit's pendant (which bears the sigil of my house, as a not so subtle suggestion for other nobles to fuck off or else) to me and back to the pendant. Back to me. Back to the pendant. Moon Unit sighs. Pulls the thing off. Dangles it in front of... Dweezil, I suppose? Who groans deeply and looks down. "...My sincerest apologies, I have acted on a hunch and it almost ended in tragedy." - he then offers formally. Fine, I guess things are resolved a bit. I let him up, and he stands, flexing his arm gingerly. "That was one damn good grip." - he comments as he bends over to pick his dagger and hisses, rubbing at the elbow - "Really good grip. Makes you reconsider everything that led to this unfortunate moment."

Moon Unit rolls her eyes - "One of the many good reasons why this is my fiancée. Come on, brother, let us find a place to converse." A short while later, all three of us are sitting around the table in the southern inn. Entirely unplanned, that. Moon Unit takes the reins on this conversation. "So. I assume you had mistaken my pendant for slavery collar, right?" - she levels at Dweezil squarely.

He winces and nods. "I have been told that you've been appropriated by lady Gillespie and presumed worst. The fellow who furnished information seemed rather gleeful to suggest all sorts of unpleasant fates for you and I have had been... wary." - he continues - "Your condition does not seem to bear that out, though. In fact, sister, I have to commend you're looking remarkably well for someone who had been out of treeshade for decades." He then continues in a lower voice - "Èske ou kenbe anba kontrent oswa presyon?1Are you under duress or coercion?"

Moon Unit facepalms. "No, I'm here entirely out of my free will. No slavery, no collars, no mind magic." - she insists formally - "And please, use Albish. It would be rude to my fiancée to talk in a language she does not understand."

In a way, she is wrong. While I am not on a speaking level, I can puzzle out the general gist. Like the "are you being held here?" in the question he tossed. "Why are you in the city?" - I offer a question of my own - "Moon Unit had been out and about for years without anyone showing up to check on her. So what's up? Must be something important to make a conclave member show up in person."

"Merde!2Shit!" - is his response. Then he calms down, and continues - "You are unsettlingly perceptive, lady Gillespie. Which, I surmise, is another reason why my sister is so taken with you. Yes, I am here to buy cure for cold. Winter is coming, and many of us had become ill with flu. It should help take the edge off."

I exchange glances with Moon Unit. She nods. "Yeah. Well. Come over to Academy tomorrow in the afternoon, and we'll teach you how to mix it." - I tell him and he jerks up in surprise.

"That... would be a great boon, but..." - he trails off. Moon Unit smirks at him - "No butts here but you, brother. Alyssa invented it, she can teach anyone she desires to mix it."

"Aaaand that's a third good reason." - he immediately ripostes - "A brawler, a diplomat and an alchemist? What else, while at it?"

"Well, there's helping dwarves regain their standing as a nation by helping them rediscover the lost arts of smelting and forging." - Moon Unit adds - "Anything I forgot, dear?"

"Well... did you mention that curse on Sultanate is also me?" - I offer, and she giggles. Her brother, on the other hand, promptly smacks his chin on the table as his mouth falls open in surprise.

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"WHAT? You cursed Sultanate!?" - he hisses, obviously strangling the surprised yelp. As I nod, he groans and shakes his head - "Gods damn it all, I need something stronger for this conversation. Anything else I should know?"

"Well... I joined a harem?" - Moon Unit offers teasingly and the guy just... faceplants on the table. He is so very done with this. Very much done.

"So... To sum it up, you and a selection of other girls are set to marry someone who is a prolific scholar and inventor who also has great physical force, stupendous command of magic and ambitions that involve pretty successful cowing of most powerful polity in the known world." - he sums up wryly, looking at Moon Unit - "Anything else?"

She hums - "And I strongly suspect Alyssa is actually one of the Tools of Gods. And I learned that Tools of Gods self-refer as Shoggoth."

Now it's my turn to peer at Moon Unit in alarm. I didn't think she'd blurt that one out.

"I... see." - he offers with some difficulty - "Eventually, sister, you might want to invite your fiancée or maybe by that time wife to the Evergreens so that you could be interviewed for Thread of Creation. No pressure, though. Come at your own leisure." He pauses, and then asks cautiously - "If I have succeeded with stabbing, would I've had my head eaten?"

I chuckle. "Nah. I'm pretty sure Moon Unit would recognize you before then. Now, if I were alone on the street and you tried that? Then yes, it's not out of the question that I might reply by eating your head." - I tell him back simply, and he shudders.

"Message received loud and clear, milady."

___

The conversation continues for a while, but then Dweezil bows out and insists he must see to the needs of his own delegation. Apparently, he brought four other elves with him, so that he would have labor if needed to haul big amounts of potion. That's fine with me. Let him settle his men, he already flubbed his schedule to hell with unscheduled family time. Between talking to Dweezil and reminiscing, we've both had some food. In a way, retiring to the room is all that is left of the day, the sun on the verge of the horizon already.

As we approach the lavish room, Moon Unit quips softly - "If it's just me and you then it's fine to make love?"

I nod at her. "That was the idea, yes." - I admit, and she grins brightly - "Oh, goody. I was hoping you'd be amenable."

I wrap my arms around Moon Unit's waist from behind, hugging her close as I murr into her ear - "Dear, I'm always amenable."

She turns her head sideways to get a kiss. "Maybe talk about some, ah... ideas I had?" - she offers, winking. Oh huh. Elves. So in response I pull back slightly, my hands drifting over Moon Unit's sides and onto her hips, slowly gathering her skirt up as I offer - "Oh?"

"Ah, well... I was thinking about maybe having some extra fun with your shapeshifting abilities..." - she proffers, rocking her hips from side to side teasingly as I finally get under that skirt.

"We can always try, dear." - I suggest, busy getting into her underwear. She lets me cop a feel but then slips out of my hands and saunters over to the bed, slowly shedding her clothes as she goes. I am reasonably certain Moon Unit DID see striptease before, she certainly knows a thing or two about it. I... Just... ooze out of my clothes entirely. She tends to have that effect on me.

"Come on here, then. Let's try making some things grow, shall we?" - she teases, and I'm all too happy to oblige.

Cytotoxin So... I tried something, and I`m NOT going to try this again. The four chapters were written in parallel, rather than consecutively. It sucked, and I`m not happy with the chapters, but they at least are passable. The less said about headache and time spent on this, the better.

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