Chapter 13: CH 13

The Way Home / Dinner Time

The scenery looked different from usual, and I could feel the eyes of people when passing by them. 

Even though I tried to get used to such changes, I felt unsettled as if I was walking on clouds. After Takane-san’s confession, my sense of reality had been turned off. It was as if I was in a coming of age movie. I worried about my mental state.

Now that I had received my confession, there were many things I needed to be aware of. That was all I could think about. I needed to establish a distance where I wouldn’t touch even the faintest brush of clothes with Takane-san when walking next to one another.

“Yesterday… when I was following Nagito-san, I knew I could rely on you.”

“Oh, yeah. It was very crowded, but is that always the case at that time of day?”

“It looks like it. I’m usually fine when I’m alone, but yesterday, it was a little…”

“Yesterday was a tough day for you. From now on, if you’re in trouble, just tell me and I’ll take care of it.”

“Thank you… I’m happy to know your feelings.”

I was about to say, ‘Isn’t ‘feelings’ too reverent?’ but I managed to stop myself.

I had been gradually getting nervous since I left the school gate, and I wondered if it was the same for Takane-san.

When I thought that, Takane-san walked straight ahead.

She glanced back, and when she realized I was also looking at her, she hurriedly looked away. I could confirm it without even needing to guess.

“Takane-san, do you have any plans after school tomorrow?”

“I have to go home early today, but tomorrow I’ll be free.”

“Do you want to take a detour or something like that after school tomorrow? Are there any house rules that prevent you from that?”

“Detour… I think that’s okay because I believe where Nagito-san is taking me will be a healthy place.”

“Hahaha …… Well, if I invited you to the arcade or something, that wouldn’t be healthy, would it? I was just hoping we could have a quick chat if possible.”

“The arcade is fine, I think high school students go to places like that.”

From the way she said it, Takane-san had probably never been to an arcade before. I was just using it as an example, but it was unlikely that I would go there on my own after school.

I would like to be able to talk outside of school so that we could be more comfortable with one another. That’s why I invited her, so the destination should be a place where we can talk together clearly and freely.

“Then… What about a café? If it bothers you when we go in uniform, we can go on a day off.”

“There’s nothing in the school rules that prohibits us from taking a detour to such places.”

Takane-san had all the school rules in the student handbook in her head. Even our teacher said that we didn’t need to worry about it so much as long as we lived a normal student life.

“Nagito san… Do you like coffee?”

“Ah, I finished drinking the coffee you gave me yesterday before I left the station.”

“Amazing… Is it safe to drink so much at once?”

“I have a pretty good tolerance, so I can drink coffee before bed and still sleep. But that also means that I can’t force myself not to sleep when I study, so my tolerance is basically a double-edged sword.”

“Coffee might make sleeping difficult so you had better keep it low. Also… when you’re having a hard time studying, f-from now on, I’ll help you.”

“Eh…?”

Takane-san took her phone out of her bag and put on the most elegant and modest ‘do-gooder face’ I had ever seen.

“I can call Nagito-san at random times when you study to wake you up.”

“No, no, that’s not a bad idea… but…”

“But…?”

Takane-san looked worried, as if she thought the ‘but’ just now was a negative.

“Is- Is it too early to call each other? I guess it’s also a nuisance to other people in the house if I call late at night…”

“No, it’s not that. I just thought what I was going to say was very embarrassing.”

“……”

Every word I said made Takane-san happy, sad, or flustered.

“How embarrassing is it…? Ahh, it must be something to do with the fact that we started dating.”

“Well, That’s not wrong… I’ve heard that there are… people who call each other on LINE until they fall asleep or something like that.”

I was about to say couples, but I changed it to another word. We were already tense with each other, so we had to be careful with our choice of words.

“Well, there are people who do that. I never thought of leaving the phone on.”

“Well, just because there are people who do such a thing, doesn’t mean we’re going to try it right away. Though maybe that might come in handy for when you can’t sleep.”

“On the contrary, won’t that make you nervous and can’t fall asleep…?”

“That might be true… But I think Takane-san’s voice is comforting. I think I can sleep better while listening to it… Wait, what am I saying all of a sudden?”

Even though I tried not to be frivolous, I still ended up saying things like that. Even if it was what I was thinking, I needed to hold back a little more for now.

It was as if I had turned to another girl so quickly. It was not unreasonable to think I was dumped by Asatani-san. But… it’s true that I was happy to just be able to talk to Takane-san, and I couldn’t lie about my feelings.

“My voice… I think it’s a little blurry… Have you been paying attention to me, Nagito-san?”

“I’m not sure if it’s blurry… But I think it’s a soothing voice that stays in your ears. That’s what I’ve been thinking ever since you gave the opening ceremony speech.”

“……..”

Takane-san didn’t give a response in return. I didn’t think her voice was blurry, but I had often heard that the person making the sound and the people that hear them hear it differently.

“Ah… Takane-san, the signal…!”

“……!”

Takane-san almost crossed without noticing that the traffic light had changed to red. I supported the bike I was towing with one hand and hurriedly pulled Takane-san with the other, and managed to stop her.

“I’m sorry, I…”

“No, I’m totally fine… But…”

“Ah…”

When I stopped Takane-san, I ended up receiving her back. An old lady who came from across the other side, passed by me with a smiling face as if she saw something amusing.

Takane-san, who had lost her balance, managed to stand firmly on her own and turned her back to me.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pull you suddenly.”

“……..”

Takane-san didn’t answer me. She fixed her hair, which had become a little messy, and after a while, she looked at me as if she was afraid of me.

“I’m sorry, I was… a little spaced out.”

“I’m sorry, too. About the voice thing and even mentioning back to the entrance ceremony… Of course you’d be surprised if I suddenly said something like that.”

“…Yes. I was surprised.”

Takane-san looked at the signal and urged me to cross.

I followed her across the street in a slight hurry. As I caught up and stood beside her, she took a deep breath and looked at me.

“Actually, I’m not very confident. I don’t like the sound of my own voice, but… I want to tell the me from back then that Nagito-san thought of my voice that way.”

“No, That’s…”

I was too embarrassed to say anything.

Was this how boyfriend-girlfriend conversations were supposed to be? Asatani-san and I had never been in this kind of atmosphere before. We had always been at the distance of ‘friends’.

When my longing for her was too much, I tried to get closer but our distance never shrank.

I didn’t want to make assumptions, but those thoughts were passing by in my head.

“I like your voice, Takane-san… And I think I’d like to hear it over the phone if I could.”

“Eh, That’s…”

“I’m sorry… I think I’ve been saying too much.”

Takane-san touched her hair on her shoulder with her fingers. Even though I was not a very observant person, I could tell that it was a gesture of embarrassment.

“If you say stuff like that too much, I will be at a loss for words. Please be gentle with me at first.”

“Oh, I see… Thank God you’re not angry.”

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“No, I’m not angry. The only time I get angry is when Nagito-san is holding something back from me, or when he forces himself to do something that makes him feel bad.”

“I’m no match for you, Takane-san…”

It was not like I was pushing myself. Even if my heart ached just talking to Asatani-san, I had to accept that.

But that, too, would have to change. I didn’t want Takane-san to worry, and I didn’t want Asatani-san to think that I was dragging my feet.

“From now on, please feel free to tell me anything. I want to know as much as I can about you, Nagito-san.”

“Thank you…”

I also wanted to know about Takane but I didn’t dare to say that.

I wanted to talk to her in a way that made her laugh and enjoy herself, not just say things that made her embarrassed.

As we walked, we were getting closer to the train station. Since there were many people coming and going around here, I decided to see her off.

“Thank you for today.”

“I was happy too… today, many things happened…”

“Yes… many things…”

I did it again, I needed to learn to be calm and not be embarrassed here.

However, an incident that was also included in ‘many things’, I seriously worried about whether Takane-san would remember me.

“Nagito-san…”

She called my name, and I looked at her.

–What a beautiful face, I thought.

I thought I was being a coward. That weakness must have shown itself in my attitude.

“Could you spare me some time tonight?”

“Tonight…?”

“I want to call you or maybe drop you a message on LINE… I wanted to promise that.”

You could call me anytime you want, even just LINE was okay.

But still, she wanted to make a promise. Maybe it was because Takane-san felt the same way I do.

“Otherwise, I won’t do it… Since I made a promise, I have to keep it… It’s not that I mean it as an obligation. I just… want to talk to Nagito-san…”

“I’m pretty nervous so my voice on the phone might sound strange. Then, can I call you around 9 o’clock?”

“Yes, at that time I’ll be in the bathroom… E- Eh, I’ll be in my room.”

Takane-san’s bathing time was firmly imprinted in my mind- Wait, no. I just put it in my head that it was okay to call after 9 o’clock today.

“Then, see you tomorrow, Takane-san.”

“Yes, see you tomorrow.”

“Takane-san, when will you be here tomorrow?”

Now I seemed to have guessed what Takane-san was going to ask. She was a little surprised.

Then, she smiled. Since she smiled at me like that, I was glad I asked.

“I try to be here thirty minutes before school starts. Nagito-san always comes to school early too, right?”

“I see… Thanks for letting me know.”

I was sure Takane-san knew what I was thinking, but she didn’t say anything.

“So, I’ll talk to you tomorrow… No, I’ll talk to you later.”

“I’m looking forward to it. I’ll talk to you later, Takane-san.”

Takane looked a little regretful, and almost said something but didn’t put it into words. She gave me a small wave before walking to the station.

Her back view as she walked away was so picturesque in the evening scenery that I wanted to watch her until she was out of sight.

I wondered if she would look back at me again.

There was no need for that, so I didn’t get my hopes up. I had to turn around and start going home.

–Just when I thought about that,

I could see that Takane had moved out of the way from the crowd, so as not to disturb the people coming out of the station.

Then, she looked at me. When she realized I was watching her and our eyes met at a distance, she just stared at me.

“………”

Putting her hand over her mouth, Takane-san said something to me.

Even though I couldn’t hear it, I felt like I could somehow understand it. I was sure it was something that would make me happy.

We waved to each other, and Takane-san walked into the station. I then got on my bike for the ride home.

As I was waiting at a traffic light, I noticed that I had received two messages.

The first was from my sister, Ruru-nee asking me to buy some food for dinner that she forgot to buy.

The other message was from Takane-san. It said,

[When I looked back, I was so happy to see you, Nagito-san. I’ll call you later.]

She was too good for me. I couldn’t remain like this forever.

We should have discussed whether we wanted to keep our relationship a secret, but if anyone asked… I wanted to be able to answer with my heart, that Takane-san was my girlfriend.

Ruru-nee put the finishing touches on the dish using the ingredients I had bought. What was missing was the butter for the omelette.

“Here you go, Onee-chan’s fluffy restaurant-like omurice! Ta-da!” 

(T/N : Omurice is basically Japanese fried rice with an omelette, usually topped with ketchup.)

“It looks just like it was bought from the restaurant. You did it, Ruru-nee.”

“I hope it tastes as good as it looks. Nakkun is a good cook himself, so the evaluation will be tough. Here, have a taste.”

“I’m not as good as Ruru-nee, though… Yeah, it’s delicious. It tastes just like at a restaurant.”

“Onee-chan has decided. In the future, Onee-chan and Nakkun will open a small restaurant together.”

“Can you just compete with omurice…? Your other dishes are… fine.”

“You said ‘fine’, even though you really love it. But… if Nakkun makes up with Kiri-chan, will he leave his Onee-chan?”

“……..”

I was at a loss for words. I had to tell her that even if Ruru-nee was expecting me to get back together with Asatani-san, it would never happen.

“Ah… It’s not that easy, is it? Did Onee-chan say something unnecessary?”

“No, it wasn’t unnecessary. I know you’re worried about me.”

“You know what? Onee-chan knows that you are being polite but Onee-chan couldn’t help but worry. People say, ‘Let your little brother fly’. But I just can’t because I love him so much.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that I was dumped by Asatani-san. I wasn’t able to do anything boyfriend-like. I’m not so sure myself but that was probably her reason.”

“I see… Kiri-chan is an actress and a celebrity. She must be busy. Or maybe, it’s her agency’s policy.”

It was something I hadn’t thought about until Ruru-nee mentioned it. What if there was a rule in her agency that prohibited romance or dating ordinary people?

“But, she had agreed to go out with Nakkun once. I knew it, as Nakkun’s Onee-chan, I can’t accept that. I wonder if Kiri-chan isn’t telling everything that is going on.”

“If Asatani-san doesn’t want to talk about it, I can’t force her. Besides, right now…”

“Eh, Is it what I think it is…? Nakkun was in a good mood when he came home.”

“……!”

For the umpteenth time in my life, I was reminded that there was nothing more terrifying than my sister’s intuition.

“Did something happen with Takane-san from the same class? As your Onee-chan, I think it was likely. If Nakkun would just tell me himself, Onee-chan wouldn’t be asking so many questions.”

My sister’s pressure was like a cord tightening around my neck. If I didn’t keep my mouth shut, I would be in trouble. She might even burst into my room when I was on the phone with Takane-san.

I swallowed my desire to say, ‘Why don’t you mind your own instead of your brother’s love life, Ruru-nee?’. 

For some reason, Ruru-nee force fed me the omurice with an ‘Ahh’ as I was trying to explain it in the least embarrassing way possible.

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