Chapter 7: CH 7

A Rare Perspective

After finishing my piano lessons and family dinner, I would finish my assignments before taking a bath. Then, I always try to go to bed by 10:30 pm.

“…..”

I opened my assignment notebook, and with a click from the mechanical pencil in my hand, I thought back to what had happened on the street in front of the station.

“Takane-san!”

When I heard that voice, I didn’t know if what was happening was reality or a dream.

Even though I knew that the boy who ran behind me was someone I knew, I couldn’t immediately get a sense of reality that he had come to help me, so I could only continue to watch dumbly.

“I’m glad I could make it before you left. We’re getting together with the class today, and we were wondering if you could come join us too…” 

At first, I think I genuinely believed him more than the seniors.

I thought that really might be the case since he was so out of breath.

But when I thought about it again carefully, I realized that what he was saying would not happen very often.

My classmates were not talking about getting together as a class when I was leaving. They invited me to study at a fast food restaurant, but I didn’t think it would be a gathering that would include the boys.

Asatani-san and her friends who were at the center of the class also said that they were going out and taking a detour around school today.

Asatani-san was a well known student celebrity, and even though I was not familiar with television, I knew the name “Kiritani Noa”. From the very first day she entered the school, she attracted the attention of both boys and girls and had a strong presence in the class.

It was unlikely that the class would get together when Asatani-san was not participating. He must have some other reason for saying something that was not true.

And yet, even though he was being stared at by the older students, he was acting like he was not afraid of anything.

“Oh, seniors, what can I do for you?”

When I was surrounded by the seniors, I was about to give up on the idea that I had no choice but to accept the invitation. He sounded aloof, as if it were just a whisper, but his words were so powerful.

Tennis was one of the things I had been learning since I was a child, and during my three years in junior high school, I participated as much as possible as part of the club activities without taking a break, and achieved satisfactory results.

I didn’t do any research beforehand about the tennis club at Hekiou High School. That was because I wanted to start something new in high school.

But maybe that wasn’t enough of a reason to not continue playing tennis for those who knew me as a tennis player.

But the truth was…

I wanted to ask something to the female seniors from the tennis club. They said they wanted to talk just between us, but brought the male seniors with them.

–Did they ask you to bring me here?

–It should be against the rules to recruit in this way.

But I couldn’t put it into words. I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions, but I had to look like I wasn’t scared or else, they would take advantage of me, so I tried to look calm.

I wanted to run away, but my legs wouldn’t move. The seniors glared at him as he came up behind me. At the very least, I couldn’t trouble him to help me, that was what I thought.

“It’s important for us too. Excuse me, seniors.”

When I saw him in the classroom, he seemed to be very reserved with Asatani-san sitting next to him.

Asatani-san was an attractive person, so I thought he might be conscious of her.

But it also seemed like he was doing what she asked. Although Asatani-san seemed like a kind-hearted person, I did not have a good impression of her.

–I should have known this earlier.

The way he treated Asatani-san was special.

I wondered what kind of person the real Nagito Senda-San was. I had the fortune of witnessing the real Nagito Senda-San once when he came to my rescue even when he didn’t have to. 

The moment he stepped out in front of the seniors and pulled my hand, my mind almost went blank.

It wasn’t because I was stunned.

It was because my heart was beating so fast that I couldn’t think of anything else. 

It took me a lot of courage just to call him ‘Senda-kun’.

He didn’t notice that at all, and over the time we spent together, I gradually became able to talk to him without feeling nervous.

I was happy just to be able to talk about ordinary things. I wanted to thank him over and over again for coming to my rescue, but he would think I was weird if I did, so I had to pretend to be calm.

I didn’t know how many times I tried to take a deep breath without him noticing. I had experienced hyperventilation before, but this was the first time in my life that I had done so while being conscious of someone.

He looked like he had been knocked down by the seniors, but when he entered the alley and made sure no one was looking, he appeared fine as if nothing had happened.

The seniors were so surprised by the magnitude of his movements that they didn’t notice that he was faking the falling quite well.

“…. Senda-kun, are you sure you’re not hurt?”

“No, I’m really fine. I can’t show you, but I don’t have any scratches or anything.”

There really didn’t seem to be any scratches, but his uniform was a little stained with sand. I felt very sorry and wanted to do whatever I could to apologize.

But I could tell from the blush on his face that he would probably shy away if I did anything.

Senda-kun was an amazing person, but he was being overly modest.

I could tell that Asatani-san was relying on Senda-kun, but he still reserved himself. I noticed that I was just seeing things as the way they were meant to be seen.

People get swept away. People were fragile when pushed. All that, were just assumptions I made with a biased view.

“….. Then, I’m going to go shopping and go home afterwards.”

He said that so abruptly that I almost called him to wait.

I had no right to hold him back. I was taking up too much of his time, bothering him.

And yet, my hand was moving.

Even though I knew I shouldn’t, I grabbed the hem of Senda-kun’s uniform.　

He stopped. I could see that his face was getting hot. Still, I was somewhat annoyed that he was in such a hurry to go, so I said something that would get his reaction.

“Senda-kun… Are you the kind of person who gets embarrassed when people thank you?”

I felt embarrassed when I thought back on it. Even though I, myself, was not able to calm down, I said something like that.

“No, I mean, it’s not something you should be thanked for….”

If you couldn’t accept it in words, let me thank you in some other way then. That was what I thought. My feelings were so forward that I didn’t think I could pretend to be calm at all.

What happened after that, even now, I remember vividly. The joy was so much greater than the embarrassment that I couldn’t help but feel happy.

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He walked me to the station, and we waved goodbye to each other.

I wondered whether he would get annoyed if I suddenly got off the train before the doors closed.

I could never do such a thing, but it was funny and exciting to think about it. Then…

I looked at the view of the platform from the train as it began to move. On the other side of the track I saw a figure wearing a Hekiou High School uniform.

I didn’t know why she was there. I didn’t even know if she had noticed us. When I realized she was there, she wasn’t looking at me.

Suddenly, my heart started buzzing. I wished I could call, email, or use social media to contact him at a time like this. All I could do was buy him a drink and give it to him when I left. I remembered it and cowered at my desk.

(If I had asked Senda-kun for his contact information, it would seem like I wanted Senda-kun to continue to take care of me… I couldn’t ask him that.)

I had never been so envious of people who exchanged contacts spontaneously after just one meeting. I thought that I should just exchange addresses when I needed to or if they asked, which was surely a major flaw in the way I interacted with people.

If I really wanted to ask someone for their contact information, I would have to ask them myself. But if Senda-kun refused… Just thinking about it made my heart ache and I dreaded going to school tomorrow.

I found myself sitting in front of my desk for another hour, and even though I had my assignment notebook open, I couldn’t even get halfway through it. It was almost time for me to take a bath.

I couldn’t show my embarrassment to Senda-kun, who was sitting close to me.

If we were sitting so close to each other, we might talk to each other again.

Come to think of it, I wondered if Watanabe-san, who was seated behind me, would be able to see the board if I was in front of her. I started to grow taller when I entered middle school and I was always told to sit at the back of the class.

(Back of the class… If I were to change seats with Watanabe-san… maybe I could sit with Senda-kun…)

I shook my head at the thought that came to my mind.

If Watanabe-san couldn’t see the blackboard, we would switch seats. I thought it was a convenient idea. It’s not like I wanted it  to happen just because of my desire.

But once I thought about it, all I could think about was if I could be sitting next to Senda-kun.

I couldn’t finish my assignment until my mother called me to take a bath. All I could think about was him.

Senda-kun was always early to school, but he was never there before me.

I always go to school 30 minutes before the start of the school, and I knew that I would never see him at that time, so when I saw him riding his bicycle through the school gate, I immediately started running towards him.

I couldn’t believe that I followed him to the bicycle parking lot. It was almost as if I held special feelings for Senda-kun. He looked surprised at first, but he didn’t ask me anything.

We talked about club activities, and I was able to ask him to let me know when he decided which club to join.

Then, when we were about to go from the bicycle parking lot to the entrance of the school, I mustered up the courage to ask him…

“It’s about time… Shall we go now?”

“Yeah, that …you want to walk with me?”

I hadn’t even gotten his contact information yet, and when I thought that he would refuse me, I felt miserable and depressed.

It was just that yesterday was special. The reason why Senda-kun walked me to the station was because he was kind.

I tried to convince myself of that, but I couldn’t.

“Let’s go…?”

My dog, Cocoa, always looked desperate and sad when he saw me off when I went out. I was sure that I looked just as desperate and sad now and it showed on my face clearly.

It’s the same as saying that I wanted to be with him, even if only for a little longer. If I made such a request, I might end up causing trouble for Senda-kun.

Senda-kun seemed to have a lot on his mind. I almost gave up, thinking it would be better to go to class separately if he was bothered by it.

–But then Senda-kun smiled at me.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

At that moment, I decided that I should spend a lot of time with Cocoa when I got home today.

The feeling you get when the person you wanted, responded to you positively was so great. I didn’t think it was possible to  feel joy as great as I did then.

Even though I could see the seniors from the tennis club waiting near the entrance to the school, I didn’t feel uneasy as long as I was with Senda-kun.

But… in middle school, whenever I talked to boys in front of everyone, there were inevitably rumors about me.

“Are those two dating?”

It was the voice of Yamaguchi-san from the same class. I could tell from watching her that she was someone who didn’t hesitate to say what she thought.

I didn’t think that was a bad thing, but when Senda-kun said he would go to class with me, it was because he was kind.

That’s when I noticed that one of the girls who was with Yamaguchi-san was looking at me.

Kiri Asatani-san. She was a person with a natural radiance who was always at the center of everyone in the classroom, brightening the air just by being there.

The way she looked at me was neither warm nor cold. It had no temperature at all.

When she was talking to Senda-kun, she always had a smile on her face and her expression was bright. It was enough to make me dazzled, but now something was different.

“It’s not good to start rumors. They’ll hear it.”

Maybe I was just making assumptions. Or maybe I was just being too self-conscious because I was with Senda-kun.

But what if it wasn’t just my imagination?

Yesterday… what I saw from the inside of the train. At that time, the one who was staring at Senda-kun was…

“…….”

“Takane-san?”

When I heard Senda-kun speak to me with concern, I thought that I shouldn’t tell him about this yet. I didn’t know if Asatani-san would want me to.

“No…. it’ s fine. It’s nothing.”

When I said that, Senda-kun seemed a little down.

From the time I entered the school building to the time I arrived at the classroom, I thought about what I really wanted to say, then…

“I don’t pay attention to what people say… Senda-kun is a very kind person. I had a great time talking with Senda-kun.”

Senda-kun looked a little surprised.

Remembering that shy smile on his face, it made me want to tease him again. I sat at my desk then I turned around to look at Senda-kun, who was sitting diagonally behind me on the right. When our eyes met, we both smiled at each other.

I still didn’t know what happened between Asatani-san and Senda-kun.

But, when I think about the way Asatani-san looked at me, it won’t be long until I find out.

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