It Started with Slime

Chapter 129: Interlude XXV – Haren, The First Test


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Deep breath, in and out. You’ve practised and trained for this buddy; you can do it. Haren’s little pep talk was not going great. His palms were sweating, his forehead creased, then smoothed repeatedly. He could not remember his underwear had felt so restricting, and it seemed to want to crawl into a place it had no right to be.

 

Just relax, buddy. They didn’t tell you what to expect, but it is probably something combat-related; I mean, it is the Royal Guard! What else could it be? But try and he might, nothing was calming this new hopeful down.

 

“Haren Brean!” The man who came out of the testing grounds to call new applicants came out again, and Haren heard the words he had been expecting and dreading for the last four hours. There had been a lot of names to get through.

 

But Haren’s legs decided this was the perfect time to seize up. “Haren Brean! Has anyone seen Haren Brean?” the sergeant called again, and a few people near Haren started snickering while they looked around. They didn’t know him, but they knew about first day jitters.

 

“Sir! I’m here.” Mercifully his voice was steady enough. That seemed to knock some sense into his uncooperative legs so that he could start moving them again. Thoughts flitted through his head even as his legs regained some of their inertia. Should I even be here? The Royal Guard is for elites, and I don’t have any skills. I just barely picked up a stick!

 

“Right is this way, Haren. I understand your sister also works in the palace? She is quite well known for her healing prowess.” The sergeant said to lead Haren deeper into the testing area. “I hope you have come prepared, son.” The old guard said over his shoulder to Haren.

 

“Yes, sir. As much as I could with the information I had.” Haren hastily asserted. The sergeant scoffed but did not slow or say anything else.

 

Soon they were through the winding corridors and arrived in a flat oval-shaped central area with a gladiatorial feel. Rows of escalating spectator seats encircling it, about ten deep. Haren was surprised by the size of it, it looked large from the outside, but it was still more impressive seeing it directly.

 

Scattered throughout the area were people of all shapes and sizes, old, young, male, female, tall, short. You name it, and permutation was there. The sergeant continued walking even when Haren paused to take it all in. “Come on, greenhorn, better get a move on, or you won’t even get a chance to earn the title of Recruit!”

 

Haren blushed at being caught gawking. He hurriedly caught up to his guide just as the sergeant arrived at a registration point. “Haren Brean.” He said to the buff looking woman sitting behind a desk of some sort.

 

“Thank you, Sergeant Marken. I will take it from here.” The woman said, adjusting her grip on the quill she held in too large hands. That writing implement looked far too fragile in her meaty hands, but she handled it deftly.

 

A quick nod and saluted “Yes, Sir!” and he quickly left Haren to this woman’s ministrations. Unless Haren was entirely off, she was the sergeant’s superior. Why would someone of that rank lower themselves to being a receptionist?

 

“Sir-“ the woman raised an eyebrow as he started to speak, and he choked off what he was about to say. She nodded in approval.

 

While he waited on the woman, he took a closer look at the arena area around him. Nearby, one woman younger than Haren and another older man were sparring with short swords. Further down and with ample distance between them, there was a similarly older-younger pairing, here two men, going through the same with a spear, behind that the axe and on and on it went. There was a whole array of weapons, halberds, pole-arms, hand-to-hand combat, clubs, mauls, spears; the list went on. All types of melee weapons.

 

As Haren looked further, he saw bows and crossbows of various types. More young men and women were wielding and firing into targets that cascaded from two hundred to five hundred feet.

 

Finally, the last stretch came back around to the registration table. People were firing magical blasts of fire, earth, wind, and water at each other, only the four core elements, he thought. Spells that Haren had not seen before were flying everywhere and dissipating as they got too far from the people sparing.

 

Observations occupied Haren for a good ten minutes as there were so many people to see and so many activities happening. Still, even Haren’s self-assessed high tolerance was wearing thin. He shifted his feet and cleared his throat to try to get the registration woman’s attention. How long is this woman going to make me wait here? Another ten minutes passed, and Haren was just about to say something when she finally looked up. Haren could have sagged with relief, but his discipline would not allow it.

 

She stood and addressed him, “I am Captain Lori Kvar; you will address me as sir! Congratulations! You have passed the first test, potential recruit!”

 

Haren gaped; there had been a test already? What!? “Uhh, what about-“ Haren gestured to the numerous people sparring all around the arena’s edge.

 

“You don’t get to go there unless you pass this test first!” The woman had a barking way of talking, like trying to spit the words out as quickly as possible and using them to slice through an opponent. “What do you think this job is all about? The one you aspire to join?” The Captain asked.

 

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“The Royal Guard is the elite fighting force of the royal family. We protect the royal family at all cost, even if it means our lives!” Haren recited what he had memorised years ago.

 

“We, huh? You’re not a Royal Guard yet, young’un!” she smirked but did not get angry. “You are right, of course, but do you know what that means? What do you have to do constantly?”

 

Haren frowned at this. What answer is she expecting me to give? “Protecting the royal family, perhaps?”

 

“Idiot! Yes, of course, that’s what we do, but it is not the answer I hoped you would give! Perhaps I have been overestimating you?” that last seemed to be more for herself.

 

Haren stood a little straighter, preparing to defend himself, but there was no need, Captain Kvar continued. “We have to stand and wait and watch and listen and wait. Did I mention that we wait and have to remain alert?”

 

It was like a light bulb going off in his head. It was the waiting, and he had would have-. Haren swallowed; that was how close he had been to failing the first test? Also, what kind of test was this? Was she joking; wasn’t it irrelevant? Couldn’t people be taught patience, couldn’t they? He had learnt it through his work with the Runners. “Umm...” words failed Haren.

 

“You don’t understand? You think the test is pointless. Yes, yes, I have heard all that before, but it is not your place to question me or my methods. You have passed the test; take your win and move along. You will wait for the previous potential to be finished with the sparring before you move to that location.” With that, she dismissed Haren to the next stage.

 

Haren was still reeling from his close call with the first seemingly useless test. But if this Captain was the one that made all the recruitment rules, then he should thank Ukupanipo’s grace that he made it this far. That calm that she bestowed had helped him persevere this time.

 

Putting the last half hour out of his mind, Haren stepped up to the short sword challenge. The girl and man sparring did not acknowledge him as he stood on the sideline out of their way. It seemed a simply bout; she tried to get in a stab or hit with the wooden practice blade while he worked to disarm her. They seemed to have done this a few times already. Haren could see the frustration in the set of her face and the tautness of her muscles.

 

As Haren watched, she lunged again, throwing her balance off as she committed too heavily to the attack. The trainer casually side-stepped her. Then swatted her on the bottom with the flat of his blade as she stumbled past. “You are shifting your centre too far forward with each jab; it should be quick and sharp. You are testing the opponent, not committing to a strike! Only do that if you’re sure you can end the fight, and even then, try to use a move with less deadly repercussions!”

 

The mortified young woman’s face heated, “Yes, sergeant.”

 

“I am not a sergeant, just your test partner for the day. Come on, once more and then you can move along.”

 

They went again, and this time the woman committed too little. The blade didn’t come near her opponent, and he made a non-committal sound lowering his sword. “Very well, next!”

 

As the woman turned to go, she noticed Haren had witnessed her embarrassment and glared at him before making her way to the next weapon area. Haren looked past her to the rest of the youngsters also shuffling along. So that’s how they do the testing.

 

“Once you’re done staring at her behind, we can get started!” the gruff man yelled, loud enough for about a dozen of the closest people to hear, including the mentioned woman. Haren reddened.

 

“I wasn’t-“ the woman had whirled at her sparring partners words, and Haren thanked Ukupanipo again that glares could not kill; otherwise, he would have dropped on the spot. There was no point in trying to defend himself now, and too many people were laughing at his expense.

 

Deep breath, in and out, you can do it. “Let’s get started, shall we?” Haren hardened his nerve and took a stance. Now it was time to see if he had what it took to become a Royal Guard.

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