Chapter 11: Ch.11: Thank you, next.

Dante wanted to tell Jiji that Pop-Tarts weren’t the best thing to eat for lunch. Also, a genie bouncing around in her car like a rubber ball would bring the value down. Dante then remembered how Jiji had proven she wasn’t human and kept driving. 

Dante drove slower than usual, but she got to the university on time. Instead, she had something else on the brain. 

“Do you technically need to eat? Or is this just for the sake of it?”

Jiji finished her treat, “I just like the way food tastes. So creamy!” 

“So not only do you not need food, you can just eat whatever you want and still have a six-pack?” Dante asked. 

“Six-pack of what?”

“Abs.”

“Yep!” Jiji summoned another pack of cookies and creme flavored tarts. “Awesome right?”

Dante thought about the fact that she hadn’t drunk a beer in years, “Awesome.” 

She kept the conversation going despite the task of looking for a spot in a college parking lot. The ‘staff only’ signs helped. 

“Ok, I want you to just avoid the admin office. But, just in case Jazz is here, do you know what you’re going to do if you see her?” 

“Turn her into a fish?” Jiji offered.

Dante couldn’t say, “No” fast enough. She left the car running while exclaiming, “No fish! No lizards! No birds! No turning anyone into egg-laying animals of any kind!”

Jiji’s lower lip stiffened. Her hopes of revenge were dashed by an anxiety-ridden teacher. An attractive teacher, but she was slowly getting over that.  

Dante turned the car off and dug through her purse as she talked. 

“Just explore the campus. See what you like and I’ll come up with a schedule for you later.” 

Barrett plucked a blank card in her purse. Next to it was her own license. A canvas and a reference as Tatiana explained.

“Really?” Jiji asked. She moved to pick the blank. But Dante had quick hands.

“I’m trusting you to act like a normal human. So don’t let me down.”

Then, and only then, did Dante give Jiji both cards. This was the closest to bouncing around Jinn did. Just sort of vibrating in her seat with an ear-to-ear grin. 

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!”

Jiji suddenly pressed both cards against the car’s CD slot. Both stuck out the same way a CD would until the player accepted it.

“Uh, kid, that’s not a-”

The two cards slid inside. They even rotated on their way in. The screen recognized ‘Jiji Jinn’ as the artist. ‘California’ as the album. A series of numbers listed as the genre. Finally, this ‘album’ was released in ‘20XX’.

If Dante had her brows up any higher, she’d need to be a genie herself. 

Worried about the hundreds of dollars she poured into her car, “Please tell me you didn’t just break my radio.”

Her fears subsided when the cards ejected out. Hers, unchanged but cleaner than before. 

Jiji’s was the most authentic fake driver’s license ever seen. The photo was just of her bright-eyed smile from three seconds prior. The signature was tight and clean. Easily readable cursive. Hearts as dots for the 3 ‘i’s. 

 

Jiji Jinn

State: California 

Address: 1001 Night Ave

Height: 5,0

Weight: X

Hair: Brown

Eyes: Brown

Birthday: 04/04/20XX 

Expires: 20XX

ID: G24601

 

“Did my gamer wife tell you to do the ‘Twenty-X-X’?” Dante asked.

“You see ‘X’ cause you’re my mistr, I mean, ‘lamp owner’. Every other human will see whatever I tell them.”

Dante looked at her ID again. It broadcasted to everyone that she was 35.

“I think I know what my second wish is gonna be.”

Two men wearing Starlight varsity shirts cut the interaction short. One did so with a whistle. Dante assumed it was meant for Jiji. Given her lesbian flag tie.  

The other flexed as his tongue slipped out of his smiling mouth. He expelled something that sounded like a grunt. Jiji didn’t know whether to be grossed out or ask if he needed a cough drop. 

Neither noticed the ‘staff parking’ sign until Dante gestured to it. What the boys lacked in decency, they made up for in speed. One of them didn't even stop to pick up his sunglasses. 

“Cats?” Jiji suggested.

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Not as firm as before, “Still no. Although that would be hilarious.”

The walk onto campus was about as noteworthy as a leaf on the ground. There, but not worth much attention. What Jiji found to be worth looking at was a pretty face. 

“Professor,” she cuffed Dante’s arm, “Look, at him!”

Dante tilted her new round sunglasses down to see who this ‘him’ was. A tall, but not gigantic Caucasian man. He wore a university shirt under a leather jacket and jeans. The gym bag he carried was brand new along with his running shoes.

“Isn’t he cute!” 

Jiji’s pupils were replaced with valentines. Dante had an empty feeling seeing the man. She could recognize he was attractive to some. In the same way a lactose intolerant person understands why cheese is popular. 

“I’m a professor. I’m not supposed to answer that.” Dante changed the subject, “Remember, don't give anyone too much information. Or let anyone see you like this.”

One crack of the neck later and Jiji’s eyes rolled back to normal. Like a slot machine landing on two brown orbs. 

A little disturbed, “Definitely don’t do that either.” 

Dante let Jiji go off. She expected Jiji to go up to the men. But got a delightful surprise when Jiji only passed by them. 

A quick, “Hello. You’re handsome. Have a good day!” And that was it. 

‘Guess she has better self-control with men,’ Dante thought.

Speaking of ‘self-control’, Dante could spot a certain staff member in the distance. Far enough for Jiji not to see her. Close enough for Dante to approach 

“On your left.”

Jazz didn’t attempt to hide her, “Ugh.” 

“Glad to see you too,” Dante said with no humor in her voice.

The two looked at one another. One stepped closer, and the other thought of animals that don’t lay eggs. Neither had any smiles. 

“I'll give you a chance to explain what you did yesterday.”

“Listen,” Jazz looked between Barrett & Jinn. “I’m not happy about what I did. But what your ‘niece’ pulled was worse.”

“Watching a movie? On a date to the movies? What a crime!” Barrett mocked.

Jazz rolled her eyes, “You wouldn’t get it.” 

Dante tried to wrap her head around what was just said. Debating whether to address the words or the action. Or if addressing either would matter.

“You’re right. I don’t understand why you left a young woman alone in a city at night with no explanation.” Dante asked, “You understand why I’m forbidding you from seeing my niece?”

“Your fake niece?” Jazz barked. 

Completely serious, “She’s real. Unlike your hair.”

The five students who had done a decent job hiding the fact that they were eavesdropping destroyed their cover with loud laughs and calls of ‘oooohhh’. Jiji being one of them. 

“Shut the hell up!” Jazz demanded.

Jiji continued Dante’s point, “Well it is. Your crooked eyebrows are different colors than-”

Jazz didn’t even bother hearing the insult.

“You know what?!”

“Jazz,” Dante stepped in, “I wish you’d forget about Jiji and go do something else.”

As ‘ordered’, Jiji clapped a hand on her hip. The sound went through Jazz’s ears. A wavelength reflected in her eyes. 

She didn’t stick around after that. She was off somewhere else. Where was she going? No one cared. 

“Wow, can’t believe that worked,” a boy said.

“That reminds me,” Dante faced Jiji, “You won’t get lost looking around the campus by yourself? Finding classes for next semester?” 

Jiji caught Dante’s side glance.

“Well, I can show her around tomorrow after practice.” One man smiled at Jiji, “If you’re available?”

Jiji shook her head vigorously. Then she realized why her crush of the hour seemed confused. 

“Oh! I mean ‘no’. Well ‘yes’. Like, ‘no I don’t have plans’ so ‘yes I’m available to like to walk with you’! Ha-ha! I’m rambling.”

Dante Barrett started to walk away. A quick pat on Jiji’s back first before turning her back. 

Jiji strolled away with what seemed like a nice man. Happy as a puppy to be talking with someone deeper into the college. Capturing the image was made incredibly easier by the snapshot she took and sent to her wife.

The text under the picture read:

‘Your genie just got another date.’

Three seconds later, Tatiana felt the need to add: 

‘Tell his friend to quit staring at Jiji’s ass.’

END

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