Chapter 7: Ch.7: Message For You Miss

Starlight University on a Thursday wasn’t too busy. During the day, Jazz had to find ways to occupy her time. Her job of confirming information on a computer didn’t exactly leave her high on adrenaline. 

So, the text she got at noon was welcome. A chance for an interaction with a human. Unless it was a scam bot.

‘Hello! This is Jiji. We met a few days ago and I’m told the best way to ask people out is over a text.’

‘So, here’s my text asking you out.’

‘On a date.’

‘With me.’

Jazz liked the forwardness. No underlying message. Nothing to misinterpret.

Jazz didn’t like how it sounded like a pre-teen trying too hard to impress someone. There was some humor to this girl’s dorky nature. But not enough for Jazz to say yes. 

Jazz texted back, ‘How about you ask me in person?’

Two seconds after the text was read by Jiji, the front door opened. Jazz looked up and saw Jiji enter. An awkward wave came with her nervous smile. 

Just outside the building, Jazz could see a woman with afro-puffs. She was seemingly out of breath and disoriented. But Jazz wasn’t worried about her right now. 

Jiji approached the counter, “Hello. Is now a good time?”

“You keep meeting me at work and my boss will get on me," Jazz said instead of hello.

"I'd rather get on you, so go out with me."

Jazz's answer, "Pfft! What?"

"Wait, hold on," Jiji panicked. Her face turned as red as an apple. "I was going for wordplay! But your cute face distracted me! So I-I mean-"

"J.J," Tatiana entered, "Start over, and act like you know she’s going to say 'yes'."

Jazz welcomed the wingwoman’s advice. Standing in wait. 

Jiji leaned on the counter. Her elbows were down and her fingers were crossed. A heavy breath in. A cold breath out. Jazz almost noticed the frost.

Confidently, "I'm told that these things called 'movies' are popular for first dates. Would you like to go with me?"

Jazz did not attempt to hide that her eyes weren't meeting Jiji's.

"I'd like that. Friday?"

"Yes! Oh my god! I'm so excited!" Jiji almost shouted. She turned her voice back down after a sketchy look from Jazz's coworker. "I'll meet you here?"

Jazz bit her lip, stifling back her amusement. A nod was all she could give without laughing. Jiji took it.

"Great! It's a date! See you tomorrow!"

“Wait!” Jazz called, “You still haven’t updated your profile.”

“Oh right!” 

Jiji answered the few remaining questions. For the questions she couldn’t answer, Tatiana helped to fill in the blanks. No classes were selected. A very dull two minutes. 

Jazz printed out a temporary ID, “Ok, you’re real card should show up by next Friday. And,” she handed Jiji a mint from the bowl, “I’ll see you this Friday.”

Jiji ate the mint right then. Very casually, she headed out. Her only mistake was pushing open the door with 'pull' written on it. 

Jazz didn’t see that. But Tatiana did. So she pulled Jiji out of sight before they teleported home. 

A home that Jazz found was already registered in the system. 

-A few hours later-

“Ah! Right, Jiji Jinn.” Dante began, “She’s my…niece. Staying with me while she goes to school.”

Jazz had managed to catch Professor Barrett on her way to the parking lot. The two walked and talked about the little red flag Jazz came across. All while Jazz started to light a cigarette. 

Jazz’s shoulder-length ruby-red hair took some attention away from her brown eyebrows. Ironically, her emerald eyeshadow and nails drew Dante’s attention. Dante did everything she could to hold back a Christmas color pun.

“No offense, but you two are different races,” Jazz inquired.

“In-law,” Dante lied. “I’ve read the rules. I’m not in any conflict of interest.”

Jazz tried to lighten the mood, “Oh no! Sorry! I’m off the clock. This isn’t a ‘doing my job’ talk.”

Dante didn’t lighten up in the slightest. Quite the opposite. 

“So what kind of talk is this?”

“I mean, your niece asked if I could take her out. And I told her I was available tomorrow. And I’m hoping it goes well.” Jazz inhaled the poison and exhaled out through her nose. “You know, ‘this is my new girlfriend’ kind of well.”

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Barrett clicked her key and swung her door open. She didn’t intend for the beep to stun Jazz. But she didn’t bother apologizing. 

As she stuck a leg into the car, “This is not an appropriate conversation to have with a professor.”

“I’d rather let you know now. ‘Conflict of interest’ and all.” Jazz held her hands up. A mock surrender position. “Didn’t mean any trouble.”

Dante watched as Jazz walked away. She waited till the woman was out of sight to start texting Jiji. 

The first thing Dante asked was if Jiji had stayed home like she asked. Her answer was a photo. Dante could guess that Jiji wanted to show she was at the house. 

In practice, Jiji had sent an image of her hand covering most of the camera. There was just enough of Jiji’s bewildered face between her fingers. 

The texts that followed were sent rapidly after the other. 

Jiji:

‘Crap! Sorry! New phone!’

‘How do I use the voice to-‘

‘What’s that wave thing mean? Hey! Tatiana! My phone is doing a wave!’

‘No, don’t send that!’

‘Damn it!’

‘Stop!’

‘T help! My Cellular smartphone is betraying me!’

‘Can I call Professor Dante?’

‘Stop texting the Professor!’

‘Professor don’t read that!’

‘Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!’

‘T! It keeps mocking me!’

‘I’m not crazy!’

‘Stop laughing!’

Dante decided to text back to the wall of madness two minutes after the fact. If she had used voice to text, it would’ve picked up her hysterical laughing that bordered on wheezing.

‘Did you schedule a date with Jazz?’

Jiji’s response was a page for the drive-in movie theater a little south of the school. 

The text under it read:

Jiji: ‘Movie starts at 7 so would 6 be a good time to meet up?’

Dante: ‘I told you to stay at home.’

A new message came in. This one was from Dante’s ‘Space-Wife’.

‘I gave her the ok. Went with her too. Don’t worry babe.’

Dante didn’t have the energy to do a three-way talk over texts. She was about to start the drive home anyway. Her final text for the moment was to her wife.

‘I always worry. Someone has to. Be there in a few. Driving now. Love you.’

Tatiana’s ‘Love you too’ got pushed under a bombardment of texts from Jiji. 

Jiji: 

‘Ahh! I’m so excited T, she’s so hot! Her eyes are super pretty and her hair is red like a ruby. I'm certain it’s colored since I don’t see many humans with red hair like hers. But it looks really good with her dark skin! Plus, her boobs look super soft!’

‘What’s that ding?’

‘Was this thing listening?!’

Tatiana’s final text was a link to instructions on how to shut off the voice-to-text feature on phones.

Dante had her head in her hands, not sure whether to laugh or cry. Her long drawn-out groan couldn’t encapsulate just how deeply these few seconds of reading had drained her. Her body wound up leaning against the steering wheel on instinct. 

A muffled ‘oh my god’ erupted from Dante. Her ‘niece’ was going to be the end of her.

End

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