Chapter 1: 001 – Near death experience

I’m dead.

I tripped and hit my head with an anvil.

What has my life been up to this point?

I’ve cultivated, and I’ve done some forging.

That’s about it...

I haven’t even managed to properly forge a rank 3 artifact, or get a girlfriend, or even get in a fight.

How lame, what a waste of life.

Damn it, I see a light…

 

* * *

 

“…!” I hear someone yelling.

“Young master!” They suddenly rush to my side. “Young master! I was so worried!”

It’s Sexta, one of the strongest people in the clan.

She’s my niece, even though she’s older than me by a few years, she’s been following me around since we were kids for some reason, her black hair is shoulder length, her body is a bit boyish and she’s about as tall as I am, but if someone saw the two of us they’d think Sexta’s the younger one.

She’s wearing our clan’s uniform and there’s a palm sized girl with black butterfly wings on her shoulders. 

That’s a fairy, and they like to hang around geniuses, so I've never seen her leave Sexta's side, she’s called Rokuko.

Why are they here though?

“Bwahaha!” A familiar laughter loudly resounds through the room “You sure gave us a good scare, but an injury like that is no match for me!”

It’s Master, my grandfather…

This guy is big, and everything he does is also big, two things I clearly didn’t inherit from him, seeing my current state.

Sexta hugs me. “Young master! I was really scared you know?! For a moment I really thought you were gone.” 

Wait.

I’m not dead?

I look around me, I’m in a large bed, the floor is made of wood and the walls are painted in a very light orange color, there’s light coming from the circular, open windows, there’s a small desk below one of the windows with some books on top of it, but there’s not much more furniture in here.

This is my room…

Amazing! 

It’s time to go live some life!

Honestly, the thought of being here one more second makes me want to puke.

Every second I’m here is one second I’m not doing…

Whatever I'm supposed to do in a journey.

I have absolutely no idea what that is, but that’ll be the first thing I’ll figure out, and I certainly won’t be able to do that if I’m stuck here.

“Hey, are you listening to us?!” Master’s loud voice brings me back to reality.

“I am.” I lie to my grandfather as naturally as I breathe.

“*Sigh* Get some rest boy, your injury was bad. Sexta, you come with me!” Master coldly barks an order to the girl after gently talking to me, I always get whiplash whenever there’s someone else around me and Master, he treats everyone so much differently than me, he’s always much softer on me.

I notice Sexta glare at him for a second, and then they both leave the room.

Perfect! That will make this so much easier.

I stand up and walk to a window, then leave the room through it-

Geh! 

I fell…

I’m still feeling a little dizzy, but if I let something like that stop me, then I might as well die!

I stand up and look around me.

The blue sky is above me with barely any clouds on it, this is the center of the clan building, it’s a big square open area, the floor is made of concrete, falling on it hurts, and there’s a bunch of people here, some are doing their chores, others are just hanging out, and some are going to other parts of the building.

The high-level forges are to my right, the warehouses are to my left, the dining area is in front of my room, and in front of me there’s the stairs, they eventually lead to the entrance of the building.

Perfect! I start walking towards the stairs.

“Hey! Octavius! Are you alright?!” A familiar voice approaches me. “I heard you had a pretty bad fall, and you just left your room through your window.” 

I turn around and see Septimus, he’s my cousin, well, I’m more like his uncle? He’s older than me though...

It’s hard to explain.

He’s taller than the average guy around here, and at least a full head taller than me, we both have brown hair, though mine is more unkempt, we are also wearing the same clothes, our clan’s uniform, a red dress shirt with golden fire-like patterns at the end of our long sleeves, though he has a few unbuttoned buttons, the madman, and also pants that follow the same color pattern, it’s a very comfy uniform.

Anyway, this guy is a good friend of mine, but his timing is really bad today.

“I’m feeling great! I have never felt better!” I lie as naturally as I breath-

Geh!

Someone kicked me right in the stomach!

I fall to my knees…

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I’m in a worse state than I thought I was…

I already have a Pattern of magic and my Ether core! a kick like that shouldn’t have been able to beat me just like that!

I think.

“What are you waiting for?! He’s clearly delusional!” I look at the person who kicked me in the gut. 

It’s Novena, the one person I know I’m actually taller than, though she’s kinda short even for a woman, but not by much! 

She has long brown hair, she uses glasses, and she has a motherly figure, mostly because she’s actually a mother of 2, and there’s another one coming.

She’s Septimus' wife, but she was a bit of a childhood sweetheart of mine…

I’m happy for them, since they do actually love one another and they've been my friends for as long as I can remember, so I can’t stay mad at them for too long even if I try.

Also it’s probably for the best, since she’s Sexta’s sister, so she’s also my niece…

That being said, I am bitter that I’m still a virgin after 20 years of life, all of my friends have already gotten married and have kids!

And by that I mean these two, I don’t really have any other friends.

A life of only cultivation and forging leaves very little space for a social life…

Wait, that's it!

One of my objectives should be to have as much sex as I can!

I just have to be careful to not get some kind of disease…

I could do without the children too, not only would that put a stop to my journey, but if I have too many of those the succession line for the clan might get really weird.

I should get some kind of spell in order to avoid having any kids, though I’m not too sure how that would work…

I’ll think of something.

And I hope I don’t attract any crazy women, recently there was a disciple who got stabbed by another one because they didn’t accept a confession or something., it's very scary stuff.

…There seem to be a lot of downsides for sex, aren’t there?

Eh, it'll be fine.

Septimus picks me up like I’m a potato sack and carries me to my room with Novena following us.

I puke on the floor and his leg.

 

* * *

 

Septimus left me on my bed.

“Geh…” I’m actually feeling quite bad… 

Maybe I should’ve just died? I failed…

No! This wasn’t a failure, I have obtained a goal, an objective!

“Hehe… thanks guys.” Despite everything, I’m in a good mood.

“*Sigh*” Novena rubs her forehead “So what’s going on with you? What were you even trying to do?” She sounds tired.

“Did you want to use the bathroom?” Septimus asks with a teasing smile.

 “Yes, but I mostly wanted to leave this place.” I sit on my bed.

“This place? As in the clan?” Septimus got what I meant immediately.

I nod while I button up my shirt, some of the buttons unbuttoned on the way here. “I want to leave this place and explore the world and have lots of sex and-” 

“So you really are delusional then…” Novena nods to herself, and then looks at Septimus. “We’ll have to tell Master to tighten security around Octo, or he might end up hurting himself again.”

“Do we even have enough people for that?” Septimus retorts, “Those bandits have us running even more thin than usual.”

“Ugh… I’ll try to convince some of the disciples to help.” Novena is rubbing her head. “I’m sure I can at least get Nicoleta or Sabina to help me…”

“I’m serious though! Do either of you actually enjoy cultivation?”

Cultivation is basically the act of absorbing ether into one’s Ether core, and then purifying it.

An Ether core is like an extra organ, it allows one to control the 5 kinds of elemental energy, turn that energy into mana, and turn that mana into ether.

There’s a lot of nuance to it, but in practice we just meditate in a room full of rocks and flowers all day. 

Septimus shook his head. “I know it’s not very interesting or fun, but it’s important you know? Though it’s not like I don’t see where you’re coming from, if I hadn’t met Novena I would be waltzing out of here with you.”

Novena looked like she had a strong migraine. “Well, what do you even plan to do after you leave Epice? The Walkman expanse is still imploding on itself, and skirmishes are not uncommon there, and not only that! Since you are the young master of our Paprika clan, you’re definitely going to get targeted once you leave, you’re just killing yourself by doing this!”

“I’ll manage somehow.” I have no idea how, but I’ll think of something.

Maybe I could wear a mask?

Novena looked even more tired, and angrily yelled “You know what? I won’t stop you, you can get yourself killed for all I care! But at least really think about what you’re going to do, because if you do get killed, you’re not the only one who’s going to suffer!” Novena angrily storms out of the room.

“I agree with her.” Septimus nods. “I’ll help you in any way I can either way, but at least think about this a little more.” And after saying that, Septimus also left the room.

…

They are right, I need to think this through more.

I need a more elaborate escape plan.

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