He woke up early in the morning, went to his regiment or his headquarters, came back around evening, and visited my room without fail. If we were normal lovers, he would have come in a different way, but he was different. We just talked and touched each other’s hair, which was what friends do.
It made me nervous to the point that I felt hypocritical about a relationship where lines were drawn. My heart raced and I reflexively shrank, even though it was a light touch of genuine affection. I felt like I had become a timid person.
Today, near the usual time, there was a knock at the door. Noah walked into the room and sat down in his chair as usual, leaning forward with a languid expression on his face, facing me closely. He seemed to be a different person from yesterday, and he was looking around at me with a slow, restrained gaze.
His eyes, like the sky on a cloudy day, laced with a different color as he discovered something that only he understood. I leaned back against the head of the bed, put down the book I was reading, and turned my head to face him.
“How come you haven’t read me any fairy tales lately? I’m curious about the content of the rest.” (Diana)
“Because the writer is on hiatus.” (Noah)
“I’m curious about something.” (Diana)
“Go ahead.” (Noah)
“The wolf caught the girl, but seeing that it didn’t eat her right away, the wolf didn’t mean to kill her, right?” (Diana)
If it had intended to eat her, it would have entered the girl’s house without the black shepherd having time to come to her rescue, and would have taken her breath away first….
Noah’s eyes narrowed at my question, and he leaned closer to me, who was sitting on the bed eating a cookie.
“Right. Will it spare her life?”(Noah)
He grasped my chin with one hand as he let out his peculiarly low voice. He wiped the cookie crumbs from my lips with his thumb. Unlike what it looked like, the hard finger gently smoothed over my soft lips.
I was embarrassed by the unexpected contact and crouched down small. He made a low laughing sound.
“It’ll be a shame if it eats the girl right away, since it’s been aiming for the girl for a long time. It wants to enjoy her deliciousness. I’d do the same.” (Noah)
The man who had been wagging his tail as gracefully as a silvery-white fox now looked like a hungry wolf again.
“Is the cookie good?” (Noah)
At the low question I finally heard the sound of the cookie shattering in my mouth, which I could not swallow. I hastily chewed the cookie and gulped it down at the persistent stare that seemed to be urging me on.
“Yes…” (Diana)
Did he just tell me to swallow the cookie quickly to kiss him?
His face was very close to mine, do I have to close my eyes now?
How is my expression right now? Did my face turn red? I could not move my eyes for some reason. The trajectory of my thoughts was spinning out of control.
“Go brush my teeth and go to bed. I’m leaving now.” (Noah)
Noah’s calm voice grabbed the thoughts that had been jumping up and down and put them back in place. He smiled and got up and left the room. I looked at the chair he was sitting in and rubbed my face dry.
“I think I’m going crazy.”
Even though they were really trivial words and actions, various interpretations and imaginations were accompanied, making it painful. It was because of his unique seductive voice and drowsy expression.
The man’s atmosphere itself made me crazy. I felt like I was the only one who’s been corrupted and rotten. I lay down on the bed, rubbing my lips, remembering his touch. His smooth, long hands, but with somewhat rough, calloused fingers. Perhaps because he was a soldier.
As I thought about what Noah would want at my Coming-of-Age Ceremony, my mind spinned with wild thoughts.
“Good thoughts, good thoughts….”
I was troubled by the fact that he was too seductive a man to do only good thoughts.
It was enough to cloud any essential worries I had had.
I just took a deep, calming breath and finally drifted off to sleep.
***
It was the morning of Christmas Eve.
I looked at the white window of the castle and blew my breath. Even in the sun and my warm breath, the frozen glass in the shape of snow crystals would not melt.
It was a terrifying cold place. Running away and finding a new life was beyond imagination. It was also a snowy place, and when I opened the front door, the wall of snow that had accumulated overnight would shatter. Even if I stole a car and escaped, I might be trapped in the heavy snow and freeze to death.
In fact, I was just making excuses for this and that that I couldn’t escape. It was not impossible if I wanted to. I pondered as I gently touched the deer-shaped garland hung on the window.
Tomorrow is my birthday? Why would he even hold a coming-of-age ceremony for me? This kind of attention was burdensome and excessive. It was not even my body, and I was not even sure if it was my birthday, but wasn’t it just a similar birthday party? Suddenly, Noah, who was smiling clearly at me, came and touched my forehead in concern.
“Oh! Noah!”
I shouted, startled by the touch, as if I had seen a ghost. Noah, wearing a sweater over an ivory shirt, tilted his head slowly as he looked down at me.
“Are you bored?” (Noah)
“No, I’m fine.” (Diana)
“Shall I play with you?” (Noah)
“I’m still having fun.” (Diana)
He gave me a look that said ‘I don’t see anything fun.’ He smiled a little sadly at me as I purposely avoided his gaze and gave a short answer.
“Are you having fun without me?” (Noah)
The more I dealt with him, the more confused I became, and now I felt like he thought I left him alone.
“It’s Christmas Eve, is there anything you want to do?” (Noah)
“No. Do you want to have a staring contest?” (Diana)
Oh, I think I misspoke. I could see his blue eyes glittering. He was as elated as he could be, like a guru who had received a challenge.
“Come out. I’ll show you my skills in the artillery battle.” (Noah)
“I won’t. I just said it.” (Diana)
Noah, who put his elbow on the window frame and held his chin, stared at me. He was so cute with his cheek pushed to one side. ‘Oh, what am I thinking?’ He looked at me resolutely and asked again.
“Shall we make a snowman then?” (Noah)
“No.” (Diana)
“I’ve always felt that my princess is really fickle.” (Noah)
Noah, who looked disappointed, let out a small sigh. His eyes looked so sad when he looked down. ‘Why does it make my heart so weak?’
At my answer, which I had no choice but to give, Noah sat up straight and smiled beautifully. I seemed to see nine tails wagging behind him. I wrapped myself up tightly in my scarf, coat, and gloves and walked out into the cold ice hell.
When I stepped on the slippery snow and stumbled, Noah quickly picked me up and took me to a sunny spot.
“You can make the head, Princess.”
While gathering the snow to make the snowman’s head, I saw three, four soldiers from afar rolling huge snowballs.
“The proportion isn’t right. The head is too small.” (Noah)
Noah shook his head as he looked at the snowman’s head, which I did my best to harden to the size of a watermelon. Noah murmured softly, pointing to a place to place a huge snowball that would become the snowman’s body by simply pointing his fingers gracefully.
“I worked hard.” (Noah)
‘What are you talking about? You didn’t even put a snowflake on your hand!’ ????
“No, you didn’t do anything.” (Diana)
“I did. I ordered them to make a torso.” (Noah)
“You have to do it yourself.” (Diana)
“A gentleman should always keep himself neatly dressed.” (Noah)
This man…
“Then why did you ask me to make it with you? You could just say come watch my men make a snowman instead.” (Diana)
While I was seriously questioning him, one of the soldiers quickly replenished the small head I made and made it to fit the massive torso and placed it on it.
“Is it good enough?” (Soldier)
“Hmm. Just an inch to the right. Done.” (Noah)
Noah, who posed like an architect at the soldier’s question, closed one eye and lifted a fountain pen to measure the angle. What’s the difference one inch makes? I glanced at him. Noah gave me a serious look, holding a carrot and buttons in his hand.
“I’ll leave the face to you. This is an important opportunity.” (Noah)
“Yes.” (Diana)
I walked up to the snowman leaving the serious looking Noah behind me. The snowman was so tall that I couldn’t even reach it. Then Noah came over. He looked at me with sharp eyes as he crouched down in front of me, a posture that told me he would carry me on his back. He emphasized again.
“It’s important.” (Noah)
‘If it’s so important, you do it then!’ I mumbled inside as Noah gave me a piggyback ride. Then I was able to stick the carrot into the snowman’s face.
After buttoning it up and also making a mouth out of a tree branch, I tapped Noah on the shoulder to signal him to put me down, but he took a few steps back, still with me on his back, and watched the snowman.
“The nose is crooked. The eye level is different too.” (Noah)
“Is that important?” (Diana)
Noah turned around with a shocked expression on his face and set me down on the ground.
“I was trying to make you. That’s why it’s important.” (Noah)
“I don’t see any resemblance at all………..” (Diana)
Noah, who had his hands over his eyes in dismay at my indifferent reply, sighed and spoke.
“Look at this. Isn’t the color of the buttons also the color of your eyes? I didn’t have any, so I took it from my coat. It’s something I cherish.” (Noah)
“I see…”
Eventually Noah took off his gloves, fixed the carrot, repositioned the buttons in a very subtle way, wiped his hands on his handkerchief and looked satisfied.
“Much better. Diana the snowman.” ???? (Noah)
“I don’t know what’s different, but you made it well, didn’t you?” (Diana)
“Yes, it’s beautiful. Diana the snowman.” (Noah)
Even if he made it small and cute, it would be hard to tell. But he made the snowman insanely big as a weapon and insisted it was me. I was speechless. I took off my soaked gloves and blew on my reddened hands. Noah put his own gloves on my hands and spoke.
“It’s my first time making it since I made it with my father when I was young.” (Noah)
“I made it for the first time. I didn’t try it because I thought my hands would get cold.”(Noah)
“There are many things I’m doing for the first time. Like the ball.” (Diana)
“Yes.”
Noah’s sharp nose bobbed up and down. Sweeping his dazzling silver-white hair reflected by the sunlight, he narrowed his forehead slightly as if he was agonizing, and then turned to face me.
“Then you can do anything you want with me. First time.” (Noah)
“I’ve never bought land before, and I’ve never bought or sold a building before, will you do that too?” (Diana)
“If you want.” (Noah)
I wondered how rich he was, and how he would answer without such hesitation. Taking my joke seriously, he started asking me which building I wanted to buy. I shook my head.
“I was joking.”
“All right. I’ll do whatever you want. You can tell me all the things you haven’t done and all the things you want to do.” (Noah)
Why is he so quick to accept my non serious words?
“Well….wish I could just live a normal life.” (Diana)
“What’s that?” (Noah)
“Just like everyone else.” (Diana)
“Is it like getting married and having children? Everyone is doing it.” (Noah)
Noah’s smooth face came closer. What embarrassed me more than the embarrassing question about marriage was the appearance of this man. Why is his skin so pretty? Why do his cheeks look so fluffy? While I was admiring his smooth porcelain-like skin, he continued in a low voice.
“You can do that with me, too. We decided to do it anyway, so there’s nothing we can do.” (Noah)
“But you haven’t known me that long, why are you in such a hurry to marry me…hahhha.” (Diana)
“Is that important?” (Noah)
‘At least it’s more important than the snowman’s eyes, nose and mouth.’ I just lost my train of thought. It was because I saw the corners of Noah’s eyes nicely curved, shadows hanging under his thick eyelashes. The seductive smile made me forget to breathe sometimes.
And so it was this evening that I was shocked by the sudden news of this strange man.