Chapter 56: 54

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Noah’s sweet voice, gently winding down, sounded like a kind of threat. My head was cold as I remembered being held in Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Grenendall’s arms in front of a dimly lit forest bonfire.

“I didn’t sleep with him.”

“Yes, I’ve been concerned about the Lieutenant Colonel for some time. He’s been quiet lately, so I let it go.”

This man wasn’t listening to me. He just seemed to be thinking about how to get rid of the Lieutenant Colonel. 

“Are you going to kill him?”

Noah’s mouth lifted at my question. It was a smile tinged with satisfaction, as if he was refreshed just thinking about it.

“I am the only one who protects the Princess.”

“Yes, you are the only one.”

“Do you not want to kill the Lieutenant Colonel?”

He put me at a crossroads of two choices. He wanted to know how I feel about the Lieutenant Colonel. He (Noah) was ready to kill Jeffrey if I tell him (Noah) to do as he pleases.

But If I tell him (Noah) not to kill, Noah would think Jeffrey meant a lot to me. And he (Noah) would go and kill him right now. 

The more I explained, the harsher the look in his eyes became. 

This man, who was tired of disregarding life because of the long war, was sure to take it as meaning to kill whatever I answered.

He was a person who was born with such a tendency in an era where words such as “You shouldn’t kill people!” wouldn’t work. I put on a piteous expression with the most melancholy voice possible.

“I’d rather discuss what to do on tomorrow’s date than who to kill and let live. I don’t know why we should be conflicted because of Princess Erica’s words. If her intentions were something like this, it was a success.”

Noah’s eyes, which had been pensive and looking elsewhere, slowly turned toward me.

“Her intention?”

I nodded sadly, though frankly, I was trying to avoid this troubling situation.

“I don’t trust her.”

“I see.”

Noah slowly released my wrist from his grip. It left a red mark on my white wrist. He didn’t know that my wrist hurt. I felt a little sad about that.

Later, when my heart had cooled down, I was suddenly afraid that this man’s attitude would suddenly turn cold and his eyes would look at me indifferently. 

Even if he believed me now and was convinced, there was no guarantee that his current feelings and heart would last forever.

History had proven that humans would change even if one promised to love and risk their life for someone, or marry someone with a promise of a lifetime. 

If I say goodbye, Noah can be greedy and hold on to me, but I wouldn’t do that. Attachment and obsession are also possible only with the right amount of power and money.

My character does not allow me to hold on to him in a pitiful and cunning way. If I know his heart has cooled, I am willing to leave first before I get hurt more.

Regardless of trust, I felt depressed at the thought that this was too disadvantageous.

“You think only of my leaving, but that cannot be established. I have no one but you.” (Diana)

I had my anxieties too. In fact, I was the one who had to fear separation.

Not only was I realistically placed in a much more dire situation, but I also had a vague idea of the path I would have to take with my life. I would be cast unprotected into an annoying hell by people who were eager to kill me.

There would be limits to what Medea could protect. I made an effort to come up with practical problems to excuse myself, but in fact I came to one conclusion.

I had come to fear loneliness. That’s right. Because the deeper my heart went, the more I sometimes felt rather anxious and lonely.

A throbbing pain in the chest was more painful than the wrist. He has already been so deeply involved in my heart that he doesn’t need to be special.

So I didn’t want to let anyone else into my heart.

Noah’s breath and fresh scent came closer to my anguished face. His lips, which felt warm, gently pressed mine as if to melt my anxiety.

The beautiful man who removed his overlapping lips was now facing me.

“I want you.” (Noah)

“No one around me?”

“Yes.”

Noah smiled beautifully. That was the uniqueness and “I must be the only one” that he had emphasized so far. Of course it was possible. I didn’t like to expand my relationships either.

But what if, after it happened, he got satisfied and fed up and left me? He was truly selfish yet kind.

A normal person would have shown all of this to gain my infinite trust, but I had concluded that I would give him the appropriate distance. Of course, as the opposite sex, I did not try to provoke dangerous provocations that induce jealousy.

My strategy was based on the assumption that this man was not ordinary. The expressions of ‘likes’ may be the same, but the meanings he held within them were different. The meaning he conveyed was closer to earnestness and possessiveness.

A proper sense of insecurity irritates the other person, so appropriate tactics to give him a sense of disappointment may be necessary. My feeling after living for more than twenty years was that you should not satisfy all of the other person’s greed and curiosity.

Trust is important, but that doesn’t mean that you should give everything you have to them and say, “That person will never leave me.” and the moment you become arrogant and have relationship dominance, you will lose their earnestness and interest. This is especially true the more the other person occupies dominance in all aspects of the relationship.

So it is outrageous. So keep on being concerned and interested in me, you mischievous man.

“I don’t want that.”

I replied once and for all. Noah’s face tilted at an angle at the word “no.” It was a look of incomprehension. There was a cold air around him as he smiled.

“You don’t want to.” (Noah)

I was about to say, “That look won’t work.”

“Yes. I know many people who are willing to help me.” (Diana)

“Am I not enough?” (Noah)

“Naturally you are the only person I like as the opposite sex, but I also want to make friends. ….” (Diana)

Actually, I didn’t need friends, but I deliberately made a sad face. It should look like a firm determination that I needed friends. He changed his strategy and sounded sad and dreary.

“I’ll be all the acquaintances, the helpers, the friends, I’ll do everything with you. I’ll even share a cup of tea with you.” (Noah)

What is he talking about? I was puzzled by the strange compromise, but I tried to calmly explain my cause.

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“Everyone has their own roles, right? I need to have same-sex friends. I can meet my friends, drink tea, and spend time with them while you go to work.”

Noah often went out during the day for business.

The business was the work he did with the chairman of a dark money-laundering bank, who was Lieutenant Colonel’s brother (Jace Grenendall). He also seemed to be doing something with his secretary, Vincent Ford, but he wouldn’t tell me, so I don’t know either.

“I would like to get to know the ladies here while I am at Medea.” (Diana)

“Then I will stay with you all day.” (Noah)

“No, you can’t. You have to be rich again, right? Then you can also help me with the social activities.” (Diana)

Noah looked at me with resentful eyes and nodded as if he had no choice. He appealed to me repeatedly and emphatically.

“Don’t make them more important than me.” (Noah)

“I won’t.”

The rain that had been falling all day finally stopped in the evening.

The beautifully clear sky turned vermilion, and drops of water dripped onto the branches of the tree near the window.

While we were eating dinner, Noah needed to be the most important. It started with the basic question of who you will save if I’m in danger.

I thought that if Noah were to fall into danger, he would already have a rescue team in place, but I gave him the answer he wanted to hear. 

“Of course, I’ll save you first.”

In fact, I had no intention of actively going out to socialize. It was just a way of showing off, but even with good timing, Baron Mason, who stopped by the detached palace where we were staying on her way home from work, and invited me to the afternoon tea party tomorrow.

The message was I have to attend as it would be a gathering of the Queen and other upper class and aristocratic ladies.

“I thought you were just saying that to tease me, but it was true. I thought you liked being alone.” (Noah)

(*Earlier in the conversation, Diana was joking that she needed friends to hang out with, and somehow at the exact timing that Baron Mason came to invite her to the tea party. That’s why Noah said he thought Diana said that to tease him but it was really true.)

Noah looked at me with a look that said how could you do that to me.

It was really a coincidence.

The next day, I got up early in the morning and started to prepare to attend the Queen’s tea party that Baron Mason had mentioned. My hair was short so I didn’t have to do anything to it, I didn’t wear much makeup, and I didn’t need the help of a maid either.

The only problem was that, out of courtesy, I had to wear a corset under my dress, but I did not bring a corset to tighten from the front. But I didn’t want to ask the maids to help because I had to keep my body a secret even if I wore a chemise underneath.

I eventually stopped Noah, who was going to the Chamber of Commerce on the square.

“Noah, can you help me?”

“Yes?”

My cheeks flushed at the handsome face I saw in the morning, but I spoke nonchalantly.

“I have to wear a corset, but I only brought something to tie behind my back.”

“Yes.”

I put the untied corset over my cotton chemise and stood with my back to him.

“Come here.”

Noah gestured to me to come to the dressing table. For no reason at all, my back felt numb. I bent down and put my hands on the dressing table. Our reflection was reflected in the mirror. My posture was a little embarrassing. Noah’s eyes were downcast as if he was concentrating.

“Should I do it strong?”

“What?”

My voice rose in confusion at the subjectless words. Noah looked unconcerned.

“You don’t need it tight.You have a thin waist.”

“Ah, yes.”

Hot breath danced down my neck. It was quite difficult to manage my expression as if I was being tickled softly with a feather.

“Ah!”

And Noah was strong.

My body was pulled gingerly by the strong force and I fell onto his chest. He seemed to crush my ribs with just the strength of his arms, it was as if the servants did their best to hold me in place while stomping their feet on my back. He was much stronger than Molly.

Noah, who caught me as I fell backwards, gave me an apologetic look.

“Did it hurt?”

“I’m fine. I think I broke my ribs a little.”

“I tried to be gentle. I’m sorry.”

He loosely relaxed and looked at me in the mirror. It felt strangely arousing, and I endured it with my reddened face lowered.

Noah fastened the corset expertly with his fast hands, then kissed me around my eyes.

“Have a good day. I’ll be back before dinner.”

The beautifully smiling man left the room. I was the only one left, and I couldn’t stop admiring the knot in my corset through the mirror.

He was quicker than a skilled maid’s, but that didn’t make it any less neat, and it seemed to hang beautifully. He was a man with skillful hands and he was charming.

“That’s why I can’t help but love…….”

I stopped talking. I tapped the dressing table.

‘Pull yourself together! If I like him more, I’m done!’

No one ever said it would end, but after living for over 20 years, I have thought about it. It would be the woman who would be unhappy in a relationship that she loved more. Of course, this was a very subjective point of view, but it was true about 80% of the time.

It was a human duty to flatter him, who was not lacking materially and mentally, but the feeling of love was different.

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It was not that I was ungrateful, but the circumstances had brought me into this body where I had nothing and had no luck, so I had no choice.

Later I’m going to make him buy land full of coal reserves and turn him into a global oil tycoon, so I can be a little more brazen.

I practiced my social smile a few times as I looked in the mirror and headed for the garden’s tea room where the afternoon tea party would be held in time.

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