Chapter 61: 58. Matchmaking With Bu Cai; Old Man Of The Bakery

(Wu Yan POV)

Today is the day...

The Day I conquer my beloved!

Originally, I would have been prepared to go through thick and thin to acquire her love...However I needn't anymore!

My Good Brother Bu, kindly imparted some of his wisdom onto me; And now my chances of achieving her affection are basically 100% (Brother Bu's Words)!

And I trust the instincts of a Prostitu- Good Brother!

Anyways, I've even double checked with Mother on the plan,

...and she said it was Incredible!

HAHAHAHA

My confidence is now sky high, and I can't help but feel giddy anticipating our beautiful date.

I have dressed just like he told me to(And I Look even more handsome than usual), I also had a bath with aromatic herbs to smell nice, just as we discussed.

Looking through the plan and all the activities... They seem a bit strange to me.

But It must just be because I am not an experienced individual in love unlike my Big Brother!

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(Bu Cai POV)

"ACHOOO!"

Why the fuck did I sneeze again?!

Anyways... Date Time!

If everything goes to plan, then it should be smooth sailing.

Although I hadn't had any experience with dating or love...

I still thought about it when I was in my teens.

These Hopeful thoughts lead Young Bu Cai to scour the internet for romantic advise...

Reddit, Quora, Wiki; You name it, Young Bu Cai Read it.

Sadly, the collection of Corny Jokes and Romantic Sentences buried in my head had been left to collect dust, due to a major problem; NO ONE TO DATE!

... *Sigh* The misfortunes of having misfortune, are really misfortunate.

Moving On, I have used all that information as the basis to concoct my 'Date Of Wonders'.

And I must say, although I'm not sure whether it would work the same on a Ancient Girl...

However if a modern women were to ever experience my 'Date', then i'm sure they would be up for marriage by the end.

And I don't say that Lightly!

...

Getting myself ready; I dress up in, less white, white robes and leave my Immortal certified socks behind (Sacrifices Must Be Made for the Greater Good), so that I don't stand out as much and get in the way of the soon to be couple...

Unfortunately, no matter hard I try to, My naturally charming aura, and Handsome face cannot be hidden; However it will do.

I then make my way to the meeting point inconspicuously, making sure to avoid bumping Chen Ru.

...

Walking towards there, I am quite aware that I am early; But a Pep talk is needed for the Little Prince so he gets his head in the game.

Can't have him Screw the date up, due to lingering worries.

As I approach the meeting spot, I see 2 figures instead of 1.

Strange... Who else would be this early unles-

FUCK!

CHEN RU!!!!

I start speed walking, And fuck me sideways...

IT REALLY IS HER!

Me and Wu Yan are fucking hours early... So what's this bitch doing here?!

They see me approaching and start to walk over to me.

One look at their expressions, and I already know it's gone south.

Our man of the day here, Looks as if he has just Soiled himself.

And Chen Ru, is way too excited over my appearance for her own good.

...

Seeing that things have already taken an unexpected turn; I steel myself, and make the decision to follow my plan out to the end.

Regardless of any miscalculations.

...

As they are almost in front of me.

I put on my usual smile, and Start to greet them,

"Greetings, Little Brother Wu and Junior Sister R-!"

...

I suddenly feel her arms around my back, and her body on mine, as she hugs me tightly...

W-What is this!?

Looking past her, I also see Wu Yan Giving me the death glare...

...

Although I know I'm in deep shit, if i don't get out of this... Something seems to compel me to stay in this hug a bit longer;

The Warmth of the body on mine, makes me feel relaxed and calm.

Her Scent reaches my nose... An alluring smell of lavender.

*Gulp*

T-This Isn't Bad At All!

...

My arms instinctually move to hug her gently aswell, and she says to me whilst we are in the hug.

"I've been looking forward for today, Senior Brother!"

Her voice sounds more pleasing and gentle, than usual for some reason?

I feel my face feel heat up, as I begin to think about possibilities...

...

Maybe... I-

...

NOOOOOOOOO!

FUCKING TEENAGE HORMONES!

DON'T FUCK ME OVER LIKE THIS!

I quickly move my hands back, and separate from Chen Ru.

Then put one hand on Wu Yan's Shoulders and respond saying,

"And So do I, Sister Ru, However I hope you won't mind that my good brother also comes along."

"He has been telling me about how much he has missed you, and wanted to spend some time. Seeing as he is someone I call a little brother, It would be rude not to invite him."

I put on a guilty expression and say in a pleading tone,

"So I really hope you don't mind, Sister."

...

I then tighten my hand on his shoulder, he snaps out of his nervousness and also says,

"Y-Yes! I really wanted to spend some time with you S-Sister. So I-I hope you won't mind my appearance!"

Bit wonky, But Not the worst.

Chen Ru's expression changes ever so slightly, as her smile breaks for a split second...

I notice this as I was experienced with analysing expressions due to my time in the servant area; however It was truly impressive how well she hid it!

Of course, Wu Yan didn't notice this at all.

She replies by saying,

"Of Course he can! If that is what you want Senior Brother, then I have no objections at all!"

"Me and YanYan here haven't seen each other for a while, So it would be fun to catch up with him aswell."

Nice... No rejection!

As they say, you can't slap a smiling face!

I soon take the lead by saying,

"Since that's sorted, why don't we start the day out then?"

"I've heard there is a beautiful Hill not too far from here; So why don't we grab some food and have a picnic breakfast!"

They both look at my confused and ask,

"Picnic?"

Oh... forgot that they don't have this here.

And Why the fuck are you so curious Wu Yan? I explained this shit yesterday, just in different terms!

Talk about not getting with the times...

"Ah, You haven't heard about it?"

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"A picnic is when you eat food outside, whilst enjoying the scenery!"

"Wouldn't that be a great way to start this off?"

Both their faces brighten up, and they quickly respond,

"Let's do that then!"

...

First Phase initiated.

...

We make our way through the smooth stone streets, and pass by a variety of buildings and shops; It's not as crowded as usual due to it being relatively early.

We soon arrive at a small bakery, that looks like a cottage.

'Xiao's Bakery' is written on the sign at the door.

Yep, You guessed it. This is where I will acquire my long needed fix of French Food (Xianxia Style).

It is by far my favourite place for breakfast, and the people that run the place are really nice as well (So a win-win Situation).

Both Chen Ru and Wu Yan have never been to this place before, as it is not popular, and is relatively less fancy than other competitors.

But trust me, the quality here is better (And The Price).

I take the lead and enter through the simple wooden door. A bell rings, indicating that a customer has arrived.

As get inside the bakery, an aroma of fresh pastry goodness assaults my nose.

Ahhhhhh. How I missed it.

In the Chen clan I was strictly on a high protein diet; As I had to maximise my advantages of being from a modern civilization, and therefore I took advantage of my knowledge on the importance of food.

You see, Most cultivators eat a lot less after reaching Qi Condensation or Golden core, as their body can sustain itself with Qi for a long time, and therefore don't need to eat as much.

And Once a cultivator reaches Nascent Soul, they no longer need food at all!

This axiom that 'Since I don't need to eat, I shouldn't', is not only due the fact that they technically don't have to.

It is also due to most cultivators regarding themselves as above mortals, therefore look down on eating.

This is also due to The META here, which is to abstain from needless desires and focus solely on cultivation, like a Good cultivator...

SO YES, THESE FUCKERS DON'T EVEN GIVE PROPER NUTRIENTS TO THEIR BODIES.

I mean sure, Qi is magical and shit.

But can it truly replace the consumption of nutrients and essential amino acids?

I'm skeptical.

...

Anyways... I see a sleeping Old guy with a long white beard behind the counter.

Looking at the shop itself, It looked rather classy (Just as I remembered it to be),

It had rows of box shaped shelves, that looked to be made of old oak wood. Each compartment had Jars of wine in them with it's name beside it (E.g. God's Brew). They were never for sale, and I can't help but think this old man is quite the comedian.

I mean, who is ballsy enough to proclaim their Wine is godly?

...

Wherever there weren't shelves of 'Godly Wine', there were incredible paintings on the wall featuring a variety of pastries.

And if you looked slightly above where the counter and old man was, you would see a wooden board with a list of different pastries and food hanging from the top along with the prices.

You could also see all the products underneath the counter, as it was displayed through a see through material.

Seeing how The Old bastard still hasn't woken up... A mischievous smile appears on my face.

I calmly walk towards the counter, each footstep I take, a tiny creaking sound is made due to the floorboards being old.

I stand in front of the counter...

AND SLAM THAT SHIT.

*BANG*

...

The old man rapidly lifts his head and looks around to see the perpetrator.

As he sees me, his eyes twitch as he yells,

"Bu Brat! Is this how you greet your elders?!"

"This poor old man almost had a heart attack because of you!"

He starts ranting about how his poor granddaughter would be left without her dear Grandpa, and his incompetent Son would ruin his hard earned business if he died.

*Sigh* Fucking Old men and their constant complaints; If It didn't happen, why complain about it?

Getting sick of him calling me a disgraceful brat and mourning over the potential sadness of his granddaughter, I interrupt him by saying with annoyance,

"OLD MAN! I have places to go and things to do, so stop being so whiny and start packing my usual. My friends are also came to this shithole to get some food; SO MAKE IT SNAPPY!"

"And instead of being so annoyed, shouldn't you be rejoicing that a customer as great as I, has appeared in your Dogshit bakery?"

The Old Man's Already wrinkled face became even more wrinkled due to my comment.

He turned around to get the items, whilst muttering under his breath,

"Tch, Shitty brat. If I was back in my prime I'd teach you a lesson on behalf of your parents."

Although this Old man and I have some differences, he is actually not too bad of a person (He even gives me some freebies if I listen to his rants),

Just he is sometimes a bit too emotional... But I guess that comes with age.

Soon enough, He comes back with a large bag of pastries that smell heavenly.

I  quickly snatch it off him, and leave the money on the counter...

Then I begin to get the fuck out!

I don't want to listen to more of his complaining!

Of course, I name wouldn't Bu Cai, If I didn't at least give a proper goodbye. so I shout on the way out,

"See you next time, You Senile Old Bastard!"

Then I leave whilst dragging both Chen Ru and Wu Yan out the Bakery; Pronto.

...

As we make it outside, I am welcomed by glares from both of them.

And Wu Yan can't hold in his anger and yells at me,

"Hey! Why did you not even let us order!"

"I was actually interested in trying some of the foods there!"

Chen Ru also says with disappointment,

"That wasn't very nice of you Senior Brother; I thought you would think of me as well..."

I glare back at them and say,

"Name me what each of you want!"

They both are taken aback by my reply and list what they wanted to have, probably thinking I would go back and get it for them...

WELL THEY ARE WRONG!

I Pull out their orders one after the other, and Their eyes start to widen after seeing it happen...

Soon they both ask with surprise and curiosity,

"H-How Did you know?!"

I Calmly respond to their shock by saying,

"Did you really think your Big Brother wouldn't know what you want?"

"Are you looking Down on me?!"

They both quickly nod their head in refusal, and look at me emotionally, and apologise by giving a slight bow and saying,

"I shouldn't have doubted you, Senior brother!"

"Please forgive us for undermining you!"

I respond with confidence, "Never underestimate your Big brother's capabilities!"

Then we make our way towards the picnic spot.

...

*Phew*, Thank god I covered that up...

If they knew that all of this was because of that seemingly harmless old man in there could read their minds, I'm sure they would freak out.

I myself, had a hard time forcing myself to not think of how scary that grandpa is.

I still can't check his status at all, even though I am Qi Condensations stage!

Usually I would be able to see their age or name, no matter the disparity, But everytime I use analyse on him, All I see is...

===============================

{Analyse}

[Error]

[Difference in power is too large, Cannot analyse target]

=============================

...Even My Favourite bakery is full of Potential danger.

...Fuck Xianxia!

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Author's Note:

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed, any suggestions or feedback is appreciated.

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