Chapter 14: Chapter 14 – NAME

The world seemed strange and skewed for the next few days. Huang did not contact me, and I wasn’t about to contact him. He wouldn’t come right out and say it, but I knew he felt betrayed, and probably more than a little afraid of me. He was used to being the most powerful creature in the Grey City, and now his only ally had proved to be as dangerous as the demons.

I considered calling off work, but the thought of staying at home and staring into the eyes of my own demons was awful. At least at work I could try to focus on what I was doing and bury my thoughts—but I only had two more days of work until my winter holidays began.

Maybe the scariest part was that being the dragon had been so exhilarating. For a while everything I did in the real world seemed so slow, so useless. My vision, even augmented with my spatial sense, was so dim. If it weren’t for the terrible experience of being absorbed into its mind, I would have found it fascinating. The way Huang did.

The thing I really wanted to do was speak to the creature in my dreams again. I still didn’t really understand what was going on with those, but it was certainly connected to my experience in the Grey City. I needed answers, preferably before my next entry.

But my dreams were silent and empty.

Another few days of work, uneventful, and my winter holidays began. This was the first year I’d had enough seniority in the plant to take Christmas off, and I’d really been looking forward to it. Now I was just sitting in my living room, staring out the window, and wondering what the hell I was going to do with myself.

It was starting to feel awkward since we hadn’t talked in a while, but I did need to run something past Huang. I found his number in my phone and texted: What happens if we leave Toronto?

The reply was pretty fast. I haven’t left the City since it started happening. I don’t know.

I’m going back to Ottawa for Christmas.

There was a longer gap before his next reply: I don’t think it can force you to stay here.

The thing was, we had no idea at all what the Grey City could do, or what it wanted—if it was even capable of wanting anything.

I’ll only be gone for five days. You’ll be able to handle things, right? I asked.

Yes, of course. No offense, but it will probably be easier without you around.

“Well, offense given,” I muttered out loud at the phone. He did have a point, to be fair. So far, I hadn’t done much except force him to try to protect me, get him into dangerous situations, and then literally attempt to kill him.

Well, I texted, I’m leaving in two days, on the 23^rd.

Aw, crap, and I didn’t have Christmas presents for anyone. I’d completely forgotten about the holidays.

I’d sort of been planning to just stay inside until the 23^rd in an effort to avoid inter-dimensional travel. But… I had to get at least something for the family. If I showed up with no gifts, my mom would think I was living in poverty.

Yes, it was a dumbass reason to put myself in danger, but I’d ruined the holidays enough times already with my stupid problems. I’d been telling myself all year that this time would be different. I’d have to leave the house to go to Ottawa, anyway.

Huang hadn’t responded to my last text, so I added: Hoping nothing happens before I leave.

He responded with: We’ll figure it out if it does. Been quiet for the last few days, right?

It felt a little like the Grey City was giving us a break, but I doubted it was obligated to give us Christmas off. There was nothing to be gained worrying about it, I decided. I’d just go out and see what happened.

The city was busy, teeming with last-minute shoppers just like me. That gave me some relief. Thus far, the Grey City had always waited until I was alone to steal me away, so maybe that meant it couldn’t get me if I was in a crowd.

I found some odds and ends: candy, slippers, fuzzy socks, a decent leather wallet found on clearance. It was the thought, really, of bringing gifts for people that counted, even if my budget was a little lacking this year.

While I was out, Esther texted me for the first time in a while. You’re coming home soon! Bring me presents.

I snorted out loud. Aren’t you an adult?

Don’t sass me. I got you something good, and I expect something in return.

I sighed and peeked into my shopping bag. What would she like… University kids always liked socks, right? And she had to like chocolate. Everyone likes chocolate.

She quickly sent a follow-up, though: I’m mostly kidding btw. I just want to hang out and catch up! You’re coming down with Eli, right?

Yup, I replied, starting to head back toward the subway station. I probably wasn’t going to find any other gifts, and the crowds were starting to get on my nerves. T-minus 2 days.

Don’t stress about it or anything, ok? Mom’s side is coming around, she sent.

I felt a strange, intense sense of disconnection, like she and I were standing on opposite sides of a bottomless canyon. I used to worry about that stuff, didn’t I? I’d been worrying about it for a while. And Esther thought she was still talking to that version of her brother, who mostly stressed about work and family drama.

But I was in a completely different world now, even when I wasn’t actually walking in the Grey City. Was I even the same person? I’d felt my own thoughts overtaken by a being from another world, and that was something that I’d not only have to endure again, I’d have to somehow get used to it.

Keep it together, Camilo. I took a couple of deep breaths and typed a reply as I neared the subway. I’m not stressed. They think what they think.

Well, I think they’re being dumb about it, she sent back. Some people only remember bad things. They never stop and think about how much changes in five years.

It will be fine, I texted back. Shopping bag pulled over my shoulder, I entered the station just as the car was pulling up. By some miracle, I found a free seat and settled in.

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It was a good half-hour ride to the stop closest to my apartment, and I found myself nodding off to the movement of the subway car, the lack of sleep catching up with me. I was sure I wouldn’t miss my stop if I just closed my eyes for a moment…

“Finally,” said a voice.

I blearily looked around, only half-aware. I was… dreaming again? I was underwater, but I was still sitting on the subway, the whole thing coloured a dark grey-blue and overgrown with kelp and coral. The shapes of the red seats and railings rippled, surreal. All of the people were gone.

“I’m dreaming,” I murmured.

“Yes,” the voice agreed, sounding annoyed. Bright, green light suddenly illuminated the subway car and I squinted through it, raising a hand to my eyes. The light was shining through the window opposite me, and as my vision adjusted, I saw that it was cast from the eyes of the water dragon. His enormous head hovered outside the subway car, peering in.

“Your eyes used to be white,” I observed. I knew there were things I should be remembering, things I needed to ask or say, but everything was scrambled.

“They were blank when I had no host,” said the dragon. “Now that you have awakened to my form, they reflect your colour, Camilo Santos.”

“Just… who are you?” I asked. “What are you? How are you speaking to me?”

“My kind do not have names, as yours do,” said the dragon. His face was right at the window, only one eye able to peer inside at me. “I am not a creature as you would imagine it. I am many concepts, and ideas, and memories, that over time self-organized into this form. A sea monster, a dragon, a serpent… perhaps the name ‘Leviathan’ will suffice?”

“You’re going to name yourself after the biggest one, huh?” I asked. Vague memories of Biblical myths surfaced in my mind—I thought for a moment that I could just barely see the illustrations and words from books in front of me, a translucent image in the water.

“I am the oldest of my kind, so it seems appropriate,” said Leviathan. “And you asked how I speak to you? It is because I am a part of you now.”

“I don’t know what that means,” I said.

“You should. You took my form.”

The memories came back in a flash: and with them, I started to feel the dream fade. I held onto it with everything I had, focusing on the harsh, green light. “I can’t wake up yet. I need answers. You have to tell me everything you know about the Grey City.”

“There is so much to tell, and your mind is so weak,” Leviathan said. “But I will give you what I can, Second.”

The submerged subway car started to change in front of my eyes, images appearing in the water. I was looking into the Sanctuary, into the hidden room where the four statues stood.

“First, Second, Third, and Fourth,” said Leviathan. “Each of you has a role to play in the events that will unfold here. You were chosen the moment this dimension appeared here.”

The image changed. I was looking at Toronto, the real city, glowing alive in the night. There was a brief flash and the image doubled, a strange reflection appearing below.

“The dimension you call the Grey City cannot exist on its own. It draws its substance from your world. When it arrived in this place, seeking an area with many different humans, it imprinted itself on your city.”

The reflection expanded, revealing a jumbled mess of images from the real city. Buildings, traffic signs, trees, and fences were crammed together like a bad collage. As I watched, the disparate elements started to organize, grouping up and forming into separate areas.

“Where was the Grey City before it came here?” I asked.

“… I do not know,” Leviathan admitted. “Elsewhere in your world, in another city or population centre. There, it would have had four other warriors. It would have moved on when those warriors were no longer adequate protection.”

 “Why does it need us?”

“The Grey City has only one reason that it does anything,” Leviathan explained. “Self-preservation. That is its driving force and its sole purpose. This is something you must remember, always.”

I squinted out the window and into the dragon’s unchanging face. It was still hard to think, but I forced myself to the next logical question. “Well, how the hell is it preserving itself by doing any of this?” I demanded. “Bringing us in against our will to fight monsters?”

“Ah, yes. The ‘demons’, as you call them.” The image shifted and revealed a host of grotesque creatures with white eyes, standing shoulder to shoulder. “These monsters are not a part of the Grey City. They are interlopers, seeking to destroy the dimension itself. Thus, it brings you in—and your fellow warriors—to hold them at bay.”

The Gargoyle and Leviathan appeared standing overtop the demons, their eyes shining gold and green respectively. “Of course, you can’t do that in your original forms. The demons have learned to draw physical forms from the Grey City. So, to make the game fairer, the Grey City provides you with the same.”

“Okay,” I said, trying to force my sluggish mind to absorb everything he was saying. The dream was fading, and I could feel the shaking of the subway car at odds with the motionless underwater scene I was seeing. “So the dimension is using us to protect itself from the demons. But what are you? Why can I speak to you, when Huang can’t speak to the Gargoyle in any way? Why, when I transformed, did I…”

“I told you before that the game is unfairly stacked against you,” said the Leviathan. “Things are not as they should be. Were the Grey City operating as intended, all the warriors would have access to the spirits belonging to their forms. We would be able to guide you individually.”

He pushed his face right through the wall of the subway car, effortlessly, as if it weren’t even there. I flinched in surprise as those teeth neared me. “I’m afraid I will be the only guide provided in this iteration of the Grey City. Thus, there is much that falls to you and only you to deal with. You will be pivotal in the trials to come. Remain focused.”

I twitched, smacking the back of my head against the subway seat. I cursed out loud and became aware of the brief stares of the crowd of commuters, then their subsequent dismissal.

I rubbed the back of my head and looked up at the stop indicator. I’d only been asleep for a few stops.

I unlocked my phone with shaking hands and started to note down everything I remembered about my dream. The scene was still burning clearly in my mind; I could picture every second of it. But as for what everything I learned was going to mean for us…

I closed the notepad and opened up a new text message.

Huang, we need to talk.

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