Chapter 11: 11. Frustrated Foxes

"That was humiliating," I pouted.

My tail was literally between my legs as I did my best not to cry or flee. My boyfriend wrapped an arm around my shoulders and held me close as he guided me to the exit. Even without looking back I could still all the eyes on our backs, as both staff and other public alike stared quietly.

We'd spent the last half hour arguing with just about everyone at the Service Ontario place, trying to get them to process my new ID. The procedure was supposed to be painless, I knew from other trans people on discord it only took a couple minutes.

You showed them your new birth certificate and the change of name certificate, then gave them your old drivers license and health card. They took a new picture, you signed your new name, then they gave you some temporary ID while the new permanent stuff was mailed to you.

Except they wouldn't do that for me. They kept telling me I had to take off the 'fake' ears. One of them even told me off for showing up in a costume. Their rules for issuing new photo ID were really strict, people weren't even allowed to wear prescription glasses for the official photo.

I tried to explain that the fox ears weren't fake, I wasn't wearing a costume. I tried to show them how I didn't even have any human ears on the sides of my head. At one point we had all three clerks plus the manager telling us they couldn't bend the rules for me, while the twenty other people waiting in line were all glaring angrily at us for taking up so much time.

The whole thing was upsetting and frustrating, when it should have been so easy. Just look at my head, the ears are attached. But they didn't care, they wouldn't listen, they weren't interested. It seemed like they decided from the start me and Stace were wearing costumes, they made up their minds we were just troublemakers trying to cause a disruption, and nothing we said or did mattered.

In the end they asked us to leave, and when we protested they threatened to call security or even the police if we didn't go. So we left. After that experience with bureaucracy we definitely didn't want to end up trying to explain ourselves to the cops.

As soon as we were outside the building my boyfriend steered us both towards the bus stop. And as we walked he replied in a low forced-calm voice, "Yeah, it was. I'm sorry Meg. I didn't think it would be like that, but in retrospect I should have realized there was a possibility."

I leaned against him and my arm slipped around his waist. I asked softly, "What are we supposed to do? If I can't get a new drivers license I'll be stuck in ID limbo. I can't use my old license or health card, I can't keep using my deadname. And you can't use a birth certificate for ID because there's no picture on it."

We continued to hug each other as we waited for the bus together. After a few moments he suggested, "Update as much as you can online. There's lots of things you can do without having to go in person. And keep looking for a job under your new name. When you get a job, if anyone does want to see your ID deal with it when the time comes. Worst case scenario, you show them the old drivers license and the name-change documents and tell them you're in ID limbo. If they have a problem with that then they're not going to be a trans friendly environment anyways."

"Ok Stace," I sighed. "I know it's not the end of the world and there's things I can still do in the meantime. But that won't work forever, right? I can't go through life without photo ID. Neither can you."

He nodded, "I know cutie. We're not giving up, and when we get home I'm going to do some more research and see what I can find out. We've got other resources too, right? First thing I have to do is make sure I'm going to be ok with work, then I'm going to talk to my folks. Maybe head over there tonight to see them? If things go well with them then we'll get my dad on our side, and see what he can do for us. This sort of thing isn't really his area of expertise, but he might know someone who can help. Maybe even one of the other people he works with, they might specialize in this kind of thing?"

I looked up and gave him a hopeful smile, "You're right. I guess I'm catastrophizing again, it's just..."

"I know Meg," Stace leaned down and gave me a kiss. "And you're not over-reacting, I promise. I nearly lost my cool a few times in there too."

We both spotted the bus approaching, so we let the subject drop for the moment. It was busier Monday afternoon than it had been Sunday night, and that was another source of stress and anxiety. More strangers staring at the two of us, wondering what was wrong with us, thinking we were weird for wearing costumes or something. We couldn't get seats together, so Stace had me sit while he stood by my side. Then we endured the forty minute ride home in silence.

We both remained quiet for the short walk home from the bus stop. And even though it was barely three in the afternoon I ended up getting myself a glass of wine as soon as we were in the door. I offered Stace one as well but he declined. Instead he parked himself at his desk and started going through his emails and messages.

I sat by myself in the living-room and sipped my wine while I felt sorry for myself, and it crossed my mind more than once that foxes dodn't have to worry about ID. I resisted the temptation though, and tried to be strong and brave. Once I'd finished my wine I left the glass in the sink, then joined my boyfriend in the office.

As I sat by my desk and waited for my computer to wake up I asked him, "Any interesting messages or emails?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I heard back from my manager and someone in HR, they want to have a little meeting with me first thing tomorrow morning. It sounds positive, they're both on board with company policy which is inclusive and supportive of LGBTQ staff."

"I wrote back that I'd be there," he added, "And I warned them that I've already changed my appearance. Basically I tried to give them the heads-up that I'm going to look surprisingly different from what I looked like on Friday, but I admit I'm still a little anxious how that's going to go."

I grimaced, "I wish I could be there with you for support. Text me or call or something as soon as it's over, so I know how it went?"

"Of course cutie," he smiled. "And thanks."

After a brief hesitation he continued, "I also got a message back from Kid Chaos? They're glad we're happy and asked if we'd share some selfies, but only if we're comfortable. On the other hand, they didn't actually have any advice or answers regarding my other questions. When it came to stuff like pregnancy, all they had to say was 'good luck, and if you find out how it works let me know'. Which wasn't exactly reassuring."

I frowned, "So maybe they didn't create the plushies after all?"

Stace shrugged, "Or if they did, they don't know all the details about how the things work. Anyways I just sent them another message, about the ID situation? If they're handing out those toys to people they must know how we can get our ID updated."

"Yeah..." I bit my lower lip as I thought for a few moments. "I'm going to ask around on the discord where people first shared those things. We know we're not the first, other folks changed in May and June. So they might have some advice."

"I'll ask my mom to talk to her friend too," I added. "Mrs. Turnbull's daughter and her friends might have an answer."

My boyfriend smiled, "Good thinking cutie."

We both turned our attention back to our respective computers, and for the next little while we were both busy. I jumped on discord and posted my question, along with the news that me and my boyfriend got plushies of our own. I even shared that selfie I sent my mom.

Then I wrote my folks an email and told them about the fiasco of trying to update my ID. I also asked mom if she'd get in touch with her friend to try and find out what Blossom and her friends did about updating their ID.

Finally I tried another job search and found a few more places to send my résumé, then spent about half an hour figuring out what sorts of things I could update online and what things needed me to show up in person.

That proved to be another exercise in frustration, since just about everything important required me to go in person, and most of them wanted me to update my photo ID before they'd update my other records. The birth certificate and name change certificate just weren't much good without the photo ID.

At that point I decided I needed some more boyfriend time, so I rolled my chair over next to his. He was writing an email or something and stayed focused on that. After waiting a few seconds I leaned over and wrapped my arms around his waist in an awkward hug, then just held on tight and waited for him to acknowledge me.

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Except Stace kept on typing, like he was determined to finish what he was doing. Even if that meant ignoring me. There was a smirk on his face though, and after another minute or two he finally spoke up.

"So you got your wish to be smol," he said through his smirk, "Now you think that means you can get away with being a brat do you?"

I nodded, "Mhmm."

He kept typing, but he chuckled softly and teased, "Maybe we need to get you a collar for this form too? Perhaps a little leash training's in order, for both your forms."

That made me blush, but I didn't protest or try to deny it.

"Actually with the way it went at the licensing place I'm surprised you didn't go straight to your fox-form as soon as we got home," he commented while he remained focused on his computer.

My arms were still tight around his waist as I admitted, "I thought about it. Foxes don't have to deal with bureaucracy or worry about ID. I wanted to try and be brave though, and deal with stuff instead of running away from it."

"Good girl," Stace smiled. "I'm proud of you."

Hearing that made me happy, but I didn't let go of him yet. It took another minute or two before he finally finished his typing. Then he scrolled up to the top and re-read everything. And finally he attached a selfie showing off his new face and fox ears, before he sent the message. Then at long last he turned his full attention to me.

My tall strong boyfriend wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up off my chair, then sat me down on his lap. I promptly locked my arms around him in another hug, while he asked "So what's wrong cutie, why the desperate need for hugs?"

"I'm frustrated," I mumbled into his shoulder. "How's it going for you?"

Stace sighed, "Getting a little frustrated myself, though mostly with Kid Chaos. I'm starting to think they're not the great trans saviour I'd been hoping. I still appreciate what they've done for us, the plushies seem like a literal godsend, but it feels like we're not going to get any real follow-up help from them."

"What did they say?" I asked as I looked up at him. "Or didn't they respond to your latest questions?"

He shook his head, "They wrote back, but just like the earlier message there was nothing helpful. No suggestions or advice about the ID situation, nothing about how other people have handled it. Just 'good luck' and 'tell me how it goes'."

"So who were you writing to just now?" I asked. "It seemed like a big email, and I saw you attached a picture?"

Stacey replied, "My parents. Sort of a follow-up to the email I sent yesterday, except this time I told them the whole story. About the plushies and the magic, and how I'd already completely transitioned into a foxboy. Then I explained about the ID concerns."

"I haven't told them about you yet," he added. "That's going to come up soon though, ok Meg? I asked if we could meet them tonight for dinner."

I nodded, "Ok Stace. I'm still anxious about it, but after my folks took things ok I'm feeling a little better about yours. And knowing your dad's laid back enough to joke about it helps too."

My boyfriend grimaced, "He was laid back about it yesterday when I first came out. I don't know yet how he's going to feel about it now that I've told him I got an instant magical transition and also grew fox ears and a tail. And I still haven't heard back from my mom yet."

"I hope it goes well," I sighed as I snuggled a little tighter into his strong chest.

"Me too cutie," he sighed as well. "Me too."

The two of us cuddled like that for the next ten or twelve minutes, before Stacey's computer dinged with new email. I figured that was the cue to stop bothering him for a bit, and after exchanging a kiss I slipped off his lap and pushed my chair back to my own desk.

I'd barely sat down before Stace asked, "Meg? Sorry but would you mind giving me some privacy for a few minutes? My dad wants me to call him, and I've got no idea how this is going to go. Assuming it's ok though, are you ok with meeting my folks this evening for dinner?"

"And is it ok if I tell them you're trans too?" he added. "I don't want to have to deadname and misgender you to them, and if we're meeting tonight I want them to know in advance who to expect."

"Of course," I nodded as I got up. "And yeah, you can tell them about me. I'll come to dinner too, if that's what we're doing."

He smiled as he reached for his phone, "Thanks cutie."

I made sure I had my phone with me, then on my way out I wished him luck. Finally I closed the door behind me so he had some privacy, and moved to sit crosslegged on the sofa while I checked my phone.

There weren't any new emails, but I found a private message on discord. Someone named Nisha with a black cat avatar saw my post about me and Stace getting the fox plushies, she sent a greeting and an invitation to join a new private server. According to her message it was for folks like Stacey and I, people who'd got their hands on those plushies and used them.

I accepted the invite and started looking around the server. There were less than two dozen users in total, and I noticed none of them were named Kid Chaos.

On the one hand it was kind of cool to find a little community specifically for folks like us, but scrolling through the message history quickly told me I wasn't going to find any easy answers there. How to get new ID was a fairly common question, and from the look of it nobody had any definitive answers yet.

That's all the time I had before the office door opened and Stacey emerged. He came and joined me on the sofa, then gave me an awkward smile.

"So," he announced quietly, "We're going to have dinner at my parents' place this evening. And I have to bring my fox plushie, because dad wants to see the magic in action. Otherwise he doesn't believe it."