Chapter 29: Volume 2 - CH 4.3

With one shoulder exposed, Koushun’s injured arm was being bandaged by Ei Sei. Jusetsu watched them out of the corner of her eye as she gathered the owl feathers.

“It isn’t a serious injury. It’ll heal quickly. I’ve had worse injuries.”

After the treatment was over, Koushun put his sleeve back on and said indifferently. Indeed, she had caught glimpses of old wounds on his body. But he had to be in pain after being injured.

“…I’m sorry. Thank you.”

After saying those few words reticently, Koushun and Ei Sei looked at each other.

Jusetsu silently stuffed the feathers into a sack. She wasn’t sure if she should leave these feathers here or not. She decided to collect them for the time being and keep them in Yamei Palace. Onkei helped her, but Jusetsu continued her work without exchanging much words with him. She felt ashamed of herself for not being able to do anything against Shougetsu, and she didn’t have the energy to speak. If Xingxing hadn’t appeared, she wouldn’t have been able to do anything.

Harara, Shougetsu had called Xingxing.

Was that Xingxing’s real name?

There were many things she didn’t know.

Jusetsu pressed my hand against her stomach. Gyoei’s words echoed in her mind. “A monster will be born from within you.”

Will I become a monster?

“You are already halfway to becoming the Raven. You were given life in this world as yourself, but it is being taken from you without you realizing it. What a horrible thing Koushou had done—”

Did Koushou not think that far? Or did she know that, and still offered up the Raven Consort as a vessel? Did Reijou and the previous Raven Consorts know about this? What about the Winter Minister?

The Raven Consort was imprisoned in the inner palace. Moreover—moreover, even her mind and body didn’t belong to her.

Something crumbled and became lost from within Jusetsu.

She hid herself as a survivor of the Ran clan, her mother was killed, she was chosen as the Raven Consort, and lived her life in the midst of many things over which she had no control, but she still believed that she had to stand on her own two feet and survive. She thought that her own self was the only thing no one could step into and take away from her. With that—not as something she needed to believe in, but as a matter of course—as her core, Jusetsu stood tall.

Is who I am now really me?

How much of me is me and how much is the Raven? Will the Raven take everything away one day? Or had it already done it?

Her vision became blurry.

I can’t bear it, she thought.

“Lady Jusetsu.”

Onkei called out. Jusetsu raised her head.

“Jiujiu and the others will be waiting for you at Yamei Palace. I’m sure you must be feeling chilled from the night air, so I’ll have them prepare a cup of warm tea for you,” Onkei squeezed the mouth of the sack closed, hung it from his sash, and held out his hand toward Jusetsu. “Can you walk, Lady Jusetsu?”

Jusetsu stared at the hand offered to her, and then slowly reached out her hand. Onkei’s hand was warm. Her cold fingertips finally felt warmth. It was a warmth that seemed to seep into her.

Onkei took her hand and stood up. Xingxing had disappeared at some point. It might have returned to Yamei Palace immediately.

Jusetsu, Koushun called, and she turned around to see him walking towards her, searching for something in his pocket.

“What is it, sweets?” Jusetsu asked. It had become a given that anything he was hiding in his pocket was usually sweets.

“No,” It seemed that this time was different. Koushun took one look at what he had pulled out of his pocket and furrowed his brows. He then put it back in his pocket.

“What is that?”

“I’ll give it to you next time.”

“What, you can’t show it to me? Now I’m curious.”

Koushun reluctantly pulled his hand out of his pocket. He took Jusetsu’s hand and placed the object on it. It was a fish-shaped ornament. It was carved out of wood, down to the finest scales, and the tail fin looked like it was about to move at any minute.

“You made it already?”

When she said that she was afraid of losing the glass ornament, Koushun had said that he would make one for her out of wood. That conversation had happened today.

“I can make something like this quickly. I visited Yamei Palace to deliver it to you.”

There, he had run into Jusetsu, who had just left the palace.

“But I was careless. I must have chipped it when I fell down.”

Jusetsu looked closely at the fish and saw that the fish’s dorsal fin was slightly chipped. She thought that it was just the shape. She wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t been told about it.

“I’ll make a new one.”

Koushun held out his hand. It seemed that he wanted it back. Jusetsu gazed at the fish and said, “I don’t need a new one.” The fish had a pale red cord tied to it. Jusetsu put it through her sash and tied it. The fish hung from her sash. It swayed every time she moved, resembling a fish jumping.

“It’s better if it’s chipped a little. Otherwise, it would start swimming away.”

“——Is that so?”

Jusetsu swung the fish hanging from her waist with her fingertips. Koushun smiled slightly when he saw that.

“I’m glad you liked it.”

Jusetsu glanced up at him and then looked away. She turned on her heel and walked toward Yamei Palace.

“I did like it. …Thank you.”

Without looking back at Koushun, Jusetsu sped up her pace. Onkei was before her, keeping an eye on their surroundings as they walked. The moon was bright.

The warmth, which was both a heavy chain and a poison that bound Jusetsu, was now pulling on her hand and keeping her from falling.

This might be a mistake, something that broke her promise to Reijou. But even so——.

“Ei Sei.”

On the way back to the inner court, Koushun called to Ei Sei. Ei Sei, who was holding a candle and walking in the front, slipped closer to him. Surrounding them were the eunuchs of the rokuboushi.

“There are a few things that need to be investigated.”

“This is regarding Shougetsu, yes?”

Ei Sei was perceptive. Koushun nodded.

There were a number of questions. Questions from before, such as who was he.

In the first place, how was Shougetsu allowed into the inner palace as a eunuch? Not only that, but how was he hired by a consort’s palace? How did he get travel papers?

“…He has a collaborator.”

His murmur melted into the darkness of the night.

After passing through the gate of Seiu Temple, Koushun headed straight for the rear building. He hadn’t announced his visit ahead of time, so when the acolytes saw him, they rushed out of the building and dropped to their knees. When he asked them if Gyoei was there, he was led to their usual room. Gyoei arrived immediately. It was as if he had been waiting for Koushun.

“I heard you were injured the other day, Your Majesty. How are you feeling?”

“You’re very well-informed. It’s not serious. Just a scratch.”

Gyoei nodded, seemingly relieved by those words and Koushun’s usual demeanor.

“I’m very glad to hear that.”

“You’re relieved?”

“Well, of course.”

“I see.”

Koushun closed his mouth and turned his face towards the latticed window. The sunlight was dazzling, causing him to squint. He had been thinking about how he should broach the topic even before he came here.

“The one who wounded me was a eunuch named Hou Shougetsu. He is a new chi’er.”

Have you heard about that as well, he asked.

Gyoei stared at his face intently. As if trying to guess his true intentions.

“I have.”

“Shougetsu enticed the Magpie Consort, caused the death of a palace lady and brought disorder to the inner palace. Naturally, his origins were investigated in detail. On his travel papers, it was written that Shougetsu is the nephew of a man named Hou, but I know that person doesn’t have a nephew or anything of the sort. In other words, the papers were forged. Who arranged those papers? One more thing. Shougetsu wasn’t a eunuch who the vulture stewards bought from a broker. He was allowed to enter the inner palace based on the recommendation of an official. That was why Jakusou Palace trusted him and employed him. Who was the recommender? The person who did both those things was Shuku Kou, the general secretary of the Ministry of Personnel.”

Koushun stared at Gyoei’s face, but his complexion didn’t change at all.

“You know Shuku Kou very well, I think. He used to be an acolyte here. He was one of the people you trained. Apparently, they all remembered your kindness and still love you dearly. Why did you involve someone like that?”

Only when Koushun said so did Gyoei’s lips quiver. He bit his lip.

“Shuku Kou didn’t confess what you asked him to do until the very end. But there were people who saw and heard that you visited him. Even a secret meeting in the shadows of the night isn’t something that can be concealed.”

“Did you torture him?”

“You made it happen.”

Koushun said quietly, but authoritatively. Gyoei held his tongue.

“Why?” Koushun asked another question. “Why did you send Shougetsu to the inner palace? What is the relationship between you and him?”

He choked on his words and continued talking as though to spit them out.

“Did you do all this knowing that Shougetsu came here to kill Jusetsu?”

Gyoei didn’t avert his gaze. Koushun felt pain, as if he was the one being cross-examined.

“I knew.”

Gyoei answered calmly without looking away.

“I didn’t know about Shougetsu at first. Hou Ichigyou was an old friend of mine. I haven’t seen him for a long time, but I received a letter from him for the first time in a while. He wanted travel papers to be prepared, so I asked Shuku Kou for help. At the time, I thought I was just doing a small favor for an old friend. To my surprise, they came to visit me and asked me to help Shougetsu enter the inner palace as a eunuch. Since there are many people who become eunuchs because they were destitute, such requests weren’t unusual. It is better to have a recommendation, so you would be treated well once you entered the inner palace. However, Shougetsu didn’t seem to be struggling financially, and I didn’t understand why he wanted to become a eunuch. He was a strange man. No, he wasn’t a man. It wasn’t necessary for him to go to a plucking house, as he was neither a man nor a woman. More to the point, he didn’t even seem like a human.”

Gyoei took a breath and moistened his lips with tea.

“Shougetsu answered when I asked him. He said, I want to go to the Raven Consort. When I asked why, he said he had to kill her. I didn’t hear anything more. On top of not being a normal human being, he had some sort of duty to bear. I also asked Shuku Kou to send him to the inner palace.”

“Why?” Koushun’s voice had unusually lost its composure and became agitated. “By doing that, it would be no different than if you had sent an assassin to kill the Raven Consort.”

“That was precisely what I did.”

Koushun was speechless at Gyoei’s response.

“I decided that if Shougetsu wasn’t a normal human, then I mustn’t stop the course of events. Whether she is killed by Shougetsu, or she turns the tables on him, it is not up to me to decide. That is destiny. Even if it kills the Raven Consort—Lady Jusetsu.”

“Are you saying you don’t care what happens to her? Even though she’s so fond of you?”

Jusetsu had visited this place many times. She was listening attentively to Gyoei’s stories about Reijou. Even Gyoei had to have known that.

Gyoei’s eyebrows twitched and his eyes shook. He looked down.

“…Your Majesty, you’re always sympathizing with Lady Jusetsu in that way.”

“What?”

“I have admonished you many times. I have repeatedly told you not to be too close with the Raven Consort. But you didn’t listen to me.”

“That’s—”

“The Raven Consort is a solitary existence. She does not desire anything, she keeps herself away from others, and she spends her life alone in Yamei Palace. Your Majesty, you asked me Why, why, but I would like to ask you the same question. Why did you think I was receiving Lady Jusetsu with kindness? I cannot help but find it strange that you think so.”

Koushun stared at Gyoei in astonishment.

“Lady Jusetsu has a eunuch and palace ladies who serve her. She even has you. Lady Jusetsu is blessed. Unlike you, I don’t pity her. Ever since Your Majesty came here out of concern for her, I have never once thought that way. Lady Jusetsu is surrounded by people. Even the emperor cares about her. Never once did the emperor care for Lady Reijou in that way. None of the emperors before you gave the slightest thought to her. Lady Reijou was alone. She was always alone, all by herself!”

Gyoei’s hoarse and bloody shouts echoed in the room.

“Did anyone save her? Did anyone exert themselves for the sake of Lady Reijou? Why Lady Jusetsu? If only Lady Reijou had an emperor who cared about her—”

Gyoei pounded the table with his fist. The tea cups overturned, and tea spilled onto the floor. The sounds of dripping tea were unusually loud. It sounded like tears falling.

Gyoei’s fist was trembling. Koushun stared at it.

“—She had Jusetsu,” Koushun said. Gyoei looked up.

“Reijou would have had Jusetsu. It was she who taught Jusetsu how to read and write, showed her the way of things, and loved her. Anyone can tell just by looking at Jusetsu how much love and care Reijou poured into her. Jusetsu’s existence was that great to her. Was that not Reijou’s salvation?”

Gyoei looked at Koushun silently.

“That is the girl you tried to kill.”

Koushun’s voice was quiet. Gyoei’s moustache twitched, but no words came out.

Koushun recalled the sarcastic tone of the aloof and easygoing Gyoei, the look on his face when he was caught off-guard, and the crease between his eyebrows when he was playing Go. Jusetsu wasn’t the only one who frequented this place.

For Koushun, the time he spent here were brief moments of relaxation.

They were lost and would never return. Never again.

Koushun stood from his chair.

“You said you wanted to retire. I’ll allow it. Leave this place without a word to anyone.”

He had no intention of publicly punishing Gyoei. At a time when the empress dowager had just died, he didn’t want to cause a stir about another reprehensible scheme.

Gyoei bowed. “I am grateful for your kindness, Your Majesty.”

Koushun left the room without saying anything. He hadn’t known anything about the anger and sadness that Gyoei had hidden in his heart. He couldn’t see any of it. Gyoei sometimes hid his face to avoid having his expression read. He wasn’t aware of its significance. No, he was aware of it, but unconsciously avoided pursuing it deeply.

Many things slipped through the gaps between his fingers, scattering into the darkness. In the end, there would surely be nothing left. It was like a dim and cold shadow was approaching him from behind.

Gyoei left Seiu Temple that same day and, as he had said before, went to live with his younger brother in the castle town. It was several days later that Koushun learned the news that Gyoei had committed suicide.

In a corner of the imperial palace, there was a place called Koshi Palace. It was a private residence of the emperor, but it was small and not very luxurious. It was a sort of a retreat for spending time quietly. A messenger with a palanquin came to Jusetsu to ask her to go there. Of course, it was an invitation from Koushun.

After stepping out of the uncomfortable palanquin, she saw a plaque that read “Koshi Palace” hanging from the tile-roofed gate. She passed through the gate and walked down the stone-paved path to find only one small building. There wasn’t even a garden. The view was good, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of forlornness. The pillars of the palace weren’t painted red, and the wood was left bare. On the edge of the roof, there were decorative tiles of an old man riding a giant turtle, and cast-iron lanterns hanging from the eaves.

When the eunuch opened the doors, a light rustling sound was heard. She wondered where it came from, but then noticed that the copper-plate banners around the room were fluttering and rubbing against each other. It was a strange room. At her feet, she saw the whole surface of the stone floor was inlaid with gold. Connections of circles and lines. They apparently depicted stars. As she walked while gazing at it, she found a couch at the back of the room and Koushun sitting there leisurely.

“What do you want from me?”

That was the first thing that came out of her mouth. Koushun motioned with his hand for her to sit down next to him. There were no other chairs there, so Jusetsu had no choice but to sit down on the edge of the couch. By all rights, no one was allowed to sit next to the emperor, but Koushun kept his promise to treat her as the Winter King whenever they were alone together.

“The Winter Minister has changed. He wants to introduce himself to you, so I told him to come here.”

“Did Gyoei retire?” Jusetsu felt somewhat dejected. He had said for quite a while now that he was going to retire, but she hadn’t expected him to do it before she knew it.

“Yes.” Koushun’s answer was brief.

She wished they had informed her before Gyoei retired, but neither he nor Koushun had any obligation to tell her. However, she felt a little sad.

“He told me his brother and his wife are living in the castle town. Is he living with them?”

“Yes.”

“Then I won’t be able to see him anymore.”

Jusetsu couldn’t leave the imperial palace. Unless Gyoei came here, she would never be able to see him again.

Koushun didn’t say anything, only staring at the stars on the floor.

“Who is this new Winter Minister? Have I met him before?”

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“I don’t think so. He has been working in the back of the temple until now. He is the one who has been running Seiu Temple with a scanty budget and staff. He’s still young. I believe he is just over forty.”

Jusetsu learned that he was the person who Gyoei had named as his successor for some time.

“Since he’s the Winter Minister—he knows what the Raven Consort is, does he?”

“Yes.” Koushun’s reply was short.

“…How much do Winter Ministers know?”

Jusetsu suddenly murmured. Until now, she assumed that the secrets known to the Winter Minister and the Raven Consort were the same. However, Gyoei had suggested that there was a monster—Wulian Niangniang—within Jusetsu. That was something she hadn’t known. There were probably more things she didn’t know, but did the Winter Minister know everything?

“Dajia.”

Ei Sei walked into the palace and went before Koushun with quiet, gliding steps.

“The Winter Minister is here,” he announced. A man arrived, escorted by another eunuch. He was a tall, thin man dressed in bluish-black robes and a dark gray futou with a pintail duck’s feather tucked in it. He was a tall, thin man. His cheeks were hollow and pale, and his eyes were piercing. He looked like a sick man.

The man came to Koushun and Jusetsu and knelt down.

“I have just been granted the role of Winter Minister. My name is Tou Ken, and my courtesy name is Senri.”

His voice was low, but unexpectedly amicable and soft. At first glance, he seemed like a high-strung and fussy man, but that surprisingly might not be the case.

“I have always been prone to illness, and I’m not a considerably robust person. However, I want to fulfill my role for the sake of Master Gyoei, who has supported me until this point.”

Senri said with downcast eyes. This softened the sharp impression of his eyes.

“Is Gyoei doing well in retirement?”

Jusetsu asked. Senri looked at Koushun for a moment. He quickly returned his gaze and answered, “Yes. I hear that he’s doing well.”

“I see.”

She wondered if he was playing Go with his younger brother.

“I would have liked to play Go with Gyoei once. I am not a strong player, but I think he’s weaker than Koushun.”

Koushun smiled a somewhat melancholic smile. He, too, seemed to be lonely now that Gyoei had retired.

“If it is Go, then I can play a little as well,” Senri said. “If you’re fine with me as your opponent, I’m always available.”

“You must be strong. You have that sort of face. And so, people like you say, ‘I can play a little.’”

When she frowned, Senri laughed. She was surprised by his unguarded smile. Perhaps he was more cheerful than he seemed.

“Master Gyoei has been researching the Raven Consort for a long time,” Senri said, a faint smile still on his face. “Perhaps you’ve noticed that successive generations of White Smoke…Winter Ministers also didn’t know many things.”

“Many things?”

“For example, the fact that Wulian Niangniang is sealed within the Raven Consort.”

Reflexively, Jusetsu looked at Senri’s face. He nodded lightly.

“The one who succeeds the Winter Minister are given the Soutsuten—the other Soutsuten. The Raven Consort has it as well. We inherit nothing else. Therefore, the successive Winter Ministers only know what is written in the Soutsuten. However, Master Gyoei seemed to have done his own research beyond that. I say ‘seemed,’ because I learned about this from the many notes left behind by him. I haven’t sorted through all of them yet, but Master Gyoei seemed to have been researching very diligently. Apparently, he stopped after the death of the previous Raven Consort…”

Oh, I see.

Jusetsu understood. He must have been doing all this research in order to save Reijou.

But he couldn’t help her. He couldn’t set Reijou free.

“First, I would like to organizing all of Master Gyoei’s findings. After that, I intend to follow in his footsteps and continue his research. I’ve always been good at such things.”

“Would it not be quicker to ask Gyoei himself about his research?”

“He would scold me with, ‘Is this something you have to ask a retired old man to understand’?”

He would say that with plenty of sarcasm, Senri said with a smile. “I would also be outraged about that. I believe this is a task left to me by Master Gyoei.”

Jusetsu could imagine Gyoei’s sarcastic words easily. The smile carved into Senri’s hollow cheeks was a mixture of nostalgia and affection. It was clear that Gyoei and Senri had trusted each other deeply.

“If it would help you in any way, Lady Jusetsu, then I would have done my duty as the Winter Minister who succeeded Master Gyoei.”

Senri said, choosing his words carefully. Jusetsu tilted her head a little. Why would helping her be a fulfillment of his duty?”

“I believe that the Winter Minister was originally supposed to be a helper to the Raven Consort.”

“Really…?”

“At the very least, I want to help you, Lady Jusetsu.”

Jusetsu stared at Senri’s face. Senri was pale and thin and looked like he was about to collapse at any minute, but she felt a strange sense of security with him that made her feel as though she could entrust herself to him. If I had a father, perhaps he would be like this, Jusetsu thought.

With that, Senri bid them farewell and left. The Winter Ministry seemed to be in good hands.

“As expected, Gyoei has a trained a good successor.”

“It seems like it.” Koushun was of few words today. Jusetsu turned to him.

“Does your wound hurt?”

Koushun looked puzzled. “No, why do you ask?”

“You look like it.” She said the same thing she had said to Senri.

Koushun let out a small laugh. “Do I?”

“If you’re tired, you should go back and rest.”

“You’re right,” he said, but made no move to stand up. “…I believe I’ve slept in your bed once before.”

“You did. It caused me a great deal of trouble.”

“I had the most peaceful sleep I ever had at that time. I feel like I had a good dream.”

He said, ignoring the “trouble” part.

“That’s my bed, not yours. I won’t let you use it again.”

“Maybe it would be better if you were with me.”

“I am not your bed.”

“Well, that’s true,” Koushun said, and then stood up. “I’ve said something foolish. Forget it.”

Jusetsu looked up at Koushun’s face.

“You can’t sleep?”

Koushun looked down at her.

“…Somewhat.”

Jusetsu gestured to the spot next to her and pressed him to sit down. It was an imitation of what he did earlier. Koushun obediently sat down again. She took his hand.

“You’re freezing. Even though it’s summer. Are you eating well?”

“I’m eating.”

“Not being able to eat is bad, but it is also unwise to force yourself to eat. It would only put a strain on your stomach. I hope you aren’t only eating cold food because it’s hot. It’s good to eat rice porridge with green onions and ginger. It warms the body. Also, eat some lychees. It improves the circulation of the qi,” Jusetsu said as she rubbed Koushun’s hand. “Also—”

As she was thinking about what he should eat, she sensed Koushun smiling. “What?” she asked.

“It’s nothing… Did you learn that from Reijou as well?”

“From Keishi. She’s the servant at Yamei Palace. Keishi is fastidious about food. When I came to Yamei Palace, I was like a withered branch, so she took care of me.”

She learned the rubbing hand trick from Reijou. Whenever Jusetsu dreamed of her mother’s exposed head and jumped out of bed, Reijou would warm her hands so she would sleep well.

She told him this and said, “When you can’t sleep, have someone rub your hand like this.”

“I see…” Koushun leaned back on the couch and seemed to be relaxing.

“The Magpie Consort has died,” he murmured. Jusetsu stopped her hands and looked up at him. “I didn’t want her to die.”

“That’s quite natural.”

“I’m not simply mourning her. Considering who her father is, she had to live.”

“The Magpie Consort’s father…he is in the cold faction…and the assistant minister of the Palace Secretariat, yes?”

“Yes. He must hold a grudge against me.”

“I—don’t think he would. You had nothing to do with what she did. That blame is misplaced.”

“No, that’s the way it is. If only she hadn’t entered the inner palace, if only I had returned her to her parents’ house earlier. Even if I suppress such reproaches with reason, they will continue to smolder from the bottom of my heart. And the flames of these feelings will eventually lead to a great fire.”

Just as I can’t forgive the empress dowager, he said.

“If it weren’t for my mother and Tei Ran, I don’t know if I would have been fixated on the throne. It was emotion that moved my heart.”

Jusetsu started massaging Koushun’s hand again. His hand was getting warmer, but she knew that this couldn’t warm his heart.

“I’m also disgusted with myself for not being able to simply mourn the Magpie Consort’s death from the bottom of my heart,” Koushun said matter-of-factly, but to Jusetsu, it seemed like a cry from his creaking heart.

“…Burn a silk feather.”

“A silk feather?” he asked back.

“Take a moment to mourn for the Magpie Consort yourself. Only then will you be dedicating yourself to solely grieving for her.”

Koushun stared closely at her face.

“Okay. I’ll do that.”

“I will burn one as well. So that the Magpie Consort will not be lost on her journey across the sea.”

So that Koushun would also not be lost.

This was the first time that Jusetsu prayed for Koushun.

When she returned to Yamei Palace, Jusetsu took out a silk feather from the cupboard, wrote the Magpie Consort’s name on it, and burned it. Watching the pale red bird fly away, Jusetsu thought of Koushun. For the first time, she wondered what she could do for him. It wasn’t to repay Koushun protecting her and getting injured or for offering her help. It was just something she suddenly thought of.

She could no longer see the bird. In the sky that was so blue that it seemed like it would dye your hand azure if you dipped it in, kneaded white clouds formed puffy mountains. The sky itself was dazzlingly bright. Jusetsu, staring at it with squinting eyes, turned back inside the palace. She headed for her cupboard and took out a piece of paper. With the inkstone and brush still out, she placed the paper on the table and sat down. After thinking for a little bit, she picked up the brush.

On that day, Jusetsu sent a letter addressed to a certain government official.

After Koushun took off his outer robe, Ei Sei removed the bandages around his arm. The wound was already closed, and there was no longer pain. However, Ei Sei’s brows were furrowed as he looked at the scar.

“Dajia—”

The scar was only a faint line. It healed rather quickly. However, strangely, a bruise resembling a striped pattern had emerged next to the scar. It wasn’t a bruise from being hit. It was a brown bruise. It looked like owl feathers—.

“It’s nothing unusual.”

Koushun fixed his clothing. In fact, even with the bruise, nothing changed. Besides, the bruise seemed to be fading. It would disappear soon.

“If anything unusual happens, you must let me know.”

Koushun left the room after saying this to Ei Sei, whose worried look didn’t leave his face. He headed for an outer palace from the inner court. He walked through a walkway and came out to a corner of the lotus pond. There was a large palace in front of him, but he stopped without going in there. The buzzing of insects came from here and there, and it was so hot that one would break out into a sweat as soon one stepped out into the sun. Even so, the wind that glided over the pond reached him, and the shaded walkway was cool.

As he gazed at the lotus buds that had already closed, a eunuch announced the arrival of a retainer. He knelt down in front of Koushun and bowed. Koushun had Ei Sei and the other eunuchs withdraw and called out to the retainer.

“Come next to me, Koukei.”

Yes, Koukei stood up and walked to Koushun’s side. Kin Koukei—the Magpie Consort’s father. He was a good-looking man in his fifties. But now, he was care-worn and a shadow of his former self. His hair, which until recently was quite dark for his age, was now gray.

He had resigned from his position of assistant minister and it was decided that he was leaving the imperial court. Officially, the Magpie Consort died of illness and the palace lady was bitten by a wild dog. However, he, the father, wasn’t blamed.

“I can offer no sufficient apologies to you, Your Majesty.”

Koukei was battered by grief. How must it feel for a father to lose his son, his daughter, and then have to apologize to others? It was beyond the scope of Koushun’s imagination.

“There is no need for you to apologize to me. You should mourn your children and take care of your wife.”

“Hah…” Koukei’s expression broke down and he gritted his teeth, as if unable to bear it any longer. Tears welled up in his eyes and overflowed. “My, my apolo…” Unable to speak, he wiped his cheek with a handkerchief.

He was an honest man, trusted by other officials, and did excellent work. It would be a great blow to Koushun to lose him.

“From a young age, they were the closest of siblings, complementing each other…”

Wiping away his tears and regaining his composure, Koukei began to speak haltingly.

“It was my wife who said that they were a little too close. Embarrassingly, I’ve never noticed such things… I discussed with my wife that it would be best to marry Keiyou off before an indiscretion is committed, but I knew that we couldn’t sever their relationship by simply marrying her off into another family. I thought that if she was in the inner palace, they would no longer be able to see each other, and so they would have no choice but to give up on each other, or their feelings would naturally drift apart. It was an exceedingly insolent reason to put her in the inner palace. That was our crime. That is why Keiyou had done what she did. I never…never expected that she would do such a dreadful—”

Koukei clutched his handkerchief. No amount of regret would be enough. Koushun patted his arm lightly, silently telling him not to be too hard on himself. Tears welled up in Koukei’s eyes again, and he hurriedly pressed his handkerchief over them.

“Truly…I couldn’t have been happier if Keiyou was also able to adore a kind person like you, Your Majesty…”

I am in no way kind, Koushun thought. He had been thinking that by letting Keiyou die, he would lose Keiyou and be hated by him.

Though Koukei couldn’t have read his inner thoughts from his expressionless face, he smiled faintly.

“I know you are a kind man, Your Majesty. You burned a silk feather for Keiyou, did you not?”

Koushun was shocked. He had never told anyone about this. The only person who knew that he secretly burned a silk feather would be Ei Sei. And he would never tell anyone about it.

“How—”

“I’ve received a letter from the Raven Consort.”

“From the Raven Consort?”

Now he was even more shocked. Jusetsu sent a letter to Koukei?

“She said that she burned a silk feather so that Keiyou’s soul would not be lost. She said that you also did the same thing, Your Majesty. That was what she wrote. I never expected to receive a letter from the Raven Consort, and I was astonished. I had received a compassionate letter from a being deep in the inner palace, who may or may not exist, who may be a human or a ghost, who to me is like a ghost story… I could keenly feel her condolences for Keiyou in her letter. The Raven Consort is a kind person, isn’t she. And so are you, Your Majesty.”

Koushun was speechless. He never expected Jusetsu to do such a thing. Moreover, this was most likely—for Koushun’s sake.

He had thought it was strange that he didn’t feel any deep-seated resentment from Koukei to him. He wondered if Koukei was good at hiding it or if he had always been like that.

Jusetsu’s letter comforted his heart.

Koushun didn’t know why, but at this moment, he felt the urge to cry.

As the cold, dim shadows were constantly chasing him, he suddenly remembered how to breathe. That was how it felt.

He had always wanted to save Jusetsu. There was also a sense of guilt because he had silently chosen the path of binding that girl to the inner palace. He also knew that what Shougetsu had told her would hurt her even more.

Jusetsu should have been wounded all over. Even if her body wasn’t injured, her heart was probably deeply wounded. So how, Koushun wondered, did she have the time to think carefully about him? Him, of all people. The Summer King who imprisoned the Winter King.

It was only then that Koushun realized that he had underestimated Jusetsu. As he realized his own hubris, his stiffened heart, frightened of the shadows, slowly began to loosen.

He could breathe.

It was salvation. It was the salvation he had been seeking while giving up on the idea that he would ever obtain it.

“Your Majesty,” Koukei said in surprise. “Your Majesty…are you crying for Keiyou’s sake?”

No, that’s not why. Unable to utter a word to clear up the misunderstanding, Koushun simply stood there in silence.

The wind that blew across the surface of the pond lightly caressed the tear that ran down Koushun’s cheek.

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