Chapter 22: End

Sometimes I wonder, 'Will this love ever end?'

 

Don't make a promise to me that you can't ever keep,

 

please. . . it already hurts just to be with you.

 

 

We don't really like each other but still,

 

we love each other unyieldingly,

 

so, what does that make us?

 

 

I want to scream out your name, hoping there will be an answer responding to me.

 

But you won't reply and it hurts me.

 

 

I can't see what is behind your averted eyes,

 

and it hurts my pride so very much. . .

 

because I thought, I would know you the best.

 

Yet, it seems I know you the least. 

 

 

Hesitant, I question who we are and I begin to think,

 

Is it okay to love you?

 

As I look into your eyes my heart breaks.

 

It starts to bleed painfully.

 

So please answer me,

 

with your heart and not your piteous eyes.

 

I want to hear the words "I love you", coming from you.

 

✦

 

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If I make a promise to never hurt you, it would already be a lie,

 

because I know, I cannot keep such fragile feelings safe.

 

And, I regret having to tell you this knowing how you feel.

 

 

You see, even though I may hide who I really am,

 

this me who seems fake is still quite real.

 

 

Like a reflection of myself mirrored in broken shards of glass,

 

I always appear different despite being indifferent.

 

 

Unfortunately, in front of you,

 

I cannot hide who I really am no matter how hard I try.

 

 

I want to disguise the side of me that you hate

 

since those broken shards, the fragmented pieces inside of me,

 

might hurt you with cruel actions.

 

I want to mask your fears within mine and protect you carefully but,

 

I can't hide them since you always see through me.

 

 

I want to remain hidden behind a face that smiles blindly,

 

like a mirror, that reflects what you want to see (not what really is meant to be seen).

 

 

In your eyes, the person you see is someone who will always love you.

 

Meanwhile, the real me is silently looking at you with capricious eyes as you cry furiously,

 

slowly dying inside wishing to love you more tenderly.

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