Chapter 25: Stages of conquering fear

You haunted me for so long, like a plague with no end.

 

You existed to torment my soul.

 

Until I realized you were nothing more than an illusion.

 

A false mirage created by my own mind.

 

A vagrant of my own fears.

 

And like all worthless, insignificant things, I could destroy you too.

 

Your existence was nothing more than a visual of my traumas.

 

Breathed into life by my own fears and my anxieties.

 

And now, like a crushed bug, you too are forever gone.

 

Never to be resurrected again.

 

✦

 

I was searching for something, but I didn't know what it was.

 

So, I held my hand out, and reached deep within myself.

 

And what I found was the person I wanted to be.

 

Instead of wishing I was her, I decided to become her.

 

✦

 

 

Sometimes you need to look deep within yourself

 

to find your own inner Goddess.

 

Even in the darkest of moments,

 

when you feel so weak and powerless,

 

you have to remember that you are not helpless.

 

You don't need someone else to fix you or save you.

 

You are strong enough to be your own hero.

 

✦

 

Do you ever hate yourself?

 

Do you ever feel worthless and incapable?

 

I think we all feel beaten down in life sometimes.

 

I used to think it was wrong to say,

 

“I am hurting.”

 

I realize now, it’s wrong to deny that my own pain exists.

 

The more I live, the more I realize

 

how important it is to speak up.

 

Because denying pain is far more painful than

 

accepting that pain exists.

 

And once you accept that you are in pain,

 

it’s much easier to begin healing that pain immediately.

 

✦

 

One day I will wake up and see,

 

that I'm not as weak as I think I am.

 

And that day, will be today.

 

I am tired of denying myself.

 

I don’t want to act like a victim anymore.

 

I am more than a stepping stone.

 

I am a goddess.

 

I am a powerful.

 

Indomitable.

 

Unbreakable.

 

And no one will ever forget it.

 

Not now, and not ever again.

 

And neither will I.

 

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✦

 

I used to think fear protected me,

 

until I realized fear was destroying me.

 

As time passed by, I realized it is wise to use my common sense.

 

However, it is foolish to be a slave to my own irrational fears.

 

Where there is logic and facts, there is no ignorance.

 

Nothing is unresolvable if one truly desires to find an answer.

 

Fear will absolve in the eyes of the truth.

 

Just as the facts and knowledge will provide comfort and safety.

 

Therefore, I shall not live in fear anymore.

 

I shall ascertain knowledge, and believe in what is real.

 

What is factual and proven is my resolve and comfort.

 

What is baseless and asinine no longer exists.

 

Irrationality and anxiety which looms in the realm of

 

delusions and fears no longer have power over me.

 

I have slain the foe which taunts me.

 

I am bound the beasts within me.

 

I no longer fear that which is unknown,

 

I no longer fear that which can be solved by science.

 

Thereby, I cease to be fooled by the falseness of fear.

 

For fear is a mastermind of illusions with no true or real existence.

 

If something inspires your fear, it is a mere trick, a ploy, a fallacy.  

 

And I for one, refuse to submit to games of the mind.

 

Parlor trick nor fairytales.

 

I choose to not let the realm disillusionment

 

dictate my life any longer.

 

Fear is false.

 

It is not real.

 

Fear has no power to harm me.

 

Fear is irrational and worthless.

 

If fear guides your life,

 

 you are being led astray by the irrationality of your own mind.

I believe whatever you fear,

 

can be conquered by rationality and wisdom.

 

For it is the absence of knowledge that causes irrational fears.

 

The ignorance of resolutions that binds us to a false reality.

 

Therefore, to combat this enemy,

 

we must accept it is false and does not exist.

 

What exists is our own ignorance and to cure it,

 

we must gain knowledge to change the way we see the world.

 

So, I release what used to scare me,

 

because it has no value nor meaning

 

nor the power to grasp my heart any longer.

 

And in place of this pitiful illusion,

 

I accept where there is irrational fear,

 

there is a rational solution to explain and dispel my fear.

 

And so, I wash away the illusion of my own ignorance and

 

start anew.

 

With knowledge that I have ascertained through the journey

 

of dispelling my own fears and

 

conquering my own weaknesses.

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