Chapter 208: Chapter 206: Itch

As we soldiered on, our teamwork improved. We truly got better at it bit by bit. I got to do my job, meaning keeping the beast’s attention locked on me while dishing out some damage. Idleaf found the right blade of grass to play on - not covered in drool - and annoyed everyone with it. 

This whole situation with her made me wonder why she didn’t have some grass put away in her spatial storage just in case. I knew she had one she was able to reach and use even as a spirit by my side; we talked about it before. Well, turns out, even the World Tree with all her power wasn’t omnipotent and time magic was out of her reach. The blades of grass in her spatial storage simply withered and thus became unusable.

Apart from that, everything seemed to be going relatively smoothly. Both Freyde and Harper were trying to keep what Stella had told them in their minds. Sure, they obviously struggled to hold their attention across the battlefield, but they fared well regardless. Meneur, too. Although, in the end, even he did not avoid making mistakes. Stella was the one that weighed on my mind the most, though.

Despite what Harper assumed and blatantly implied, there was nothing between the two of us. Sure, she was good-looking, and in many areas, I envied her, but that was it. There was no spark between us; she wasn’t the one my heart yearned for; to put it bluntly, she just didn’t have the right ‘equipment’.

It was Stella’s performance that bugged me. Don’t get me wrong, she was good, covering our squad’s mistakes and doing so with relative ease. But the powerful bitch I had such trouble facing on the barracks training grounds was gone. Perhaps it was because I wasn’t on the receiving end of her attacks, and just as she seemed to me less invested in the fights now, she might look that way to everyone back there as well. I doubted that, though.

Finding it more nagging than the not-dew-covered grass we occasionally come across, I eventually had to ask. “Stella?” I know, not the boldest approach.

“Yeah, what’s bothering you this time, Korra?” our leader asked back as she looked up from the meal she had taken during our lunch break. Her cranky attitude towards me wasn’t surprising. After all, me not having enough room to play my part in the fights wasn’t the only issue I had during the morning.

“It’s you,” I said flatly and directly.

“Like me being your leader?” she asked. “I thought we talked it out.”

“No, no, not that. Well, as long as you won’t be a bitch about it. What I meant, and maybe I’m wrong...” Maybe I simply got so much stronger since then that my perspective was just a little skewed. “...you seem much less...threatening, less strong, not like when we fought before.” 

Stella cast me a perplexed look, then laughed. “Sorry. I-I’m not laughing at you. Look, Korra, there, I fought with everything I had. You forced me to.”

“So now you’re holding back?”

“Aren’t you?” 

“No. Well, I don’t use everything at my disposal...” I haven’t shifted into my beast form yet; I guess that’s what she was hinting at. Plus, there were other things, like my poison and my mane. Okay, I got her point. “...but I’m trying to push myself as hard as I can.” Didn’t she see that?

“I’ve been wondering why you’re so...hard to deal with.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Stella sighed, looked down at her unfinished food, and shoved it back into her spatial storage. “Look, Korra, I’ve told you already, but sometimes less is more. Your kicks, buffed by my auras, may send those rabbits to the ground, but that in itself poses a number of challenges for others.”

Yeah, she brought that up earlier today. Sometimes it was just better to hold back. “I get that. I’m doing my best to get used to your auras and assess what level of strength to use and when. That’s it, though. I’m doing my best. Why don’t you?”

Okay, I have to admit, it came out a little more aggressive and accusatory than I meant it to be. However, it was too late for regrets. The word was out, and everyone’s attention, except Idleaf trying to play a new song on her blade of grass, was on the two of us. And the way Stella clenched her fists, I seemed to hit a nerve.

However, before she opened her trap, one of her auras lit up, and our leader visibly calmed down. “Oh, I see. You don’t think I’m taking this seriously, huh?”

“Not exactly, but kind of, yeah.” At first, I was simply wondering where the bitch I fought went. Did Rayden yell at her so hard she didn’t dare to take a fart now, lest it might bring on Captain’s ire? I didn’t take her for being such a wuss. But maybe that’s what she was, her true nature and the root of my current beef with her. Frankly, the idea of having such a leader rubbed my beast instincts the wrong way. 

“Yeah...like...like when you fought Freyde, Harper, and Meneur. You simply don’t seem like yourself, or was I wrong about you all this time?” 

“Hey, don’t dare to drag us into this,” spoke up the quarter gnome.

“Yeah, I’d like to eat without someone having my ass,” Harper threw in her bit, then smirked. “Love to watch you getting your ass handed to you, though.”

I just growled back at the baker girl, tensely waiting to see how Stella was going to take the shit I threw at her. The whole conversation unfolded quite differently than I had imagined and what had been simple curiosity, something that had been bugging me, now seemed almost like an attack on her standing as the leader of our squad.

“You’re right, Korra.” Stella said, a fair amount of frustration in her voice. “When it comes to fighting, I don’t give it my all, far from it. Traiana’s tits, beasts like that one,” she pointed to the rabbit carcass lying at the bottom of the hill, our latest kill. “I could take it down in two strikes myself. I bet you wouldn’t fare any worse. But...,” she paused, taking a breath. “This whole venture, this training, is not about me. It’s not about me proving to you that I’m better than you or whatever. Nor is it about you showing off or proving to me your worth. This isn’t a pissing contest, but an exercise where we are supposed to learn to work together as a squad. So yeah, combat-wise, I’m limiting my personal strength. What good would it do if I beat the crap out of every beast we come across, huh? I’d just be stroking my own ego…like at the training ground. So, through my auras, I give the power I could focus on myself to the entire squad and do my best to keep us all coordinated the way I, as a leader, should. And believe me, it’s hard as fuck!” 

That was some pent-up anger. But it wasn’t hard to imagine how frustrated she must have been with us when, up until now, she was used to hunting in the Labyrinth alone and doing so as deep as the 18th floor. Hell, I myself was frustrated that I couldn’t hunt down a single rabbit by myself the whole time, so I knew how she felt. Luckily, my pack instincts were kicking in, too, making the entire thing easier to bear.

‘Shit! When the fuck did I start having such an urge to hunt the beast myself?’ It wasn’t that long ago that the thought of killing something alive made me sick. Was it the time I first killed a man? Doubtfully, that still didn’t sit well with me. When then?

“So, sorry for not living up to your expectations,” Stella growled, sighing as she raked her fingers through her hair. “...but not always are things the way we want them to be.” It seemed she still had some beef with being our leader, the leader of Squad Four.

Nevertheless, she was not the first person to say something like that to me. “Yeah, I know. I’ve had my fair share of shit that life has thrown at me.” There was no need to poke her in her sore spot. Not when I know how much it would piss me off if someone started making fun of me for being a slave or making light of what I went through. 

“So you want to hunt one of them yourself? You know, blow off some steam. I know I’d love to.”

Stella chuckled. “Bet you’re suggesting that to me just so you could, huh?”

One way to look at it. “No, definitely not.”

“Sure. Anyway, I’m not so clear on that. Sir?” 

Today, Sergeant Pinescar was more of an observer and rarely spoke, leaving the command mostly to Stella. And even as she asked him, he took his time answering, watching to see whether she didn’t mean to make her own judgment on the matter after all. “Well, I would say that the mental well-being of the squad members, which includes you, Private, is highly important. For some, all it takes is little things like bantering with each other or just knowing why they’re fighting and doing what they do. Others require a little more to maintain their mental well-being, something more tangible, such as good food and gear. Some gals and guys keep cool with a good shag. It’s up to you as a leader to know what keeps your men sane. If it’s hunting down a beast yourself, I say go for it if you’re sure the person in question can handle it without endangering others or the mission, and you have room for it.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“That wasn’t permission, Private,” the Sergeant corrected her. “The decision is yours.” He didn’t say it out loud, but so was any fuck up if any were to happen under her command.

“Yes, sir.”

I was kind of expecting her to jump to her feet and call out: “Let’s see who can take one down faster!” To my slight disappointment, she turned to the others instead.

“So, guys, any frustrations to resolve like Korra’s and mine here?”

Hearing that made Pinescar chuckle. “Quite blunt, aren’t you, huh? Not saying it’s wrong...continue.”

And so she did, looking at the trio, hoping someone would speak up. Much to her dismay, neither of them felt like it. Or rather, they were thinking about it, about what ticked them off. 

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To make it less awkward, I took it upon myself to speak up. “I’d add good food on my list, especially meat.”

They all laughed, easing up a little.

“That must be obvious to everyone.” Harper snorted, amused, getting serious right after. “As far as I’m concerned, less bossing around. Or rather, don’t keep yelling at me.”

“Yeah, I’m with her on that,” Freyde joined in. “Korra took the brunt of it today, but yesterday I felt like I was back home getting yelled at by grandma.”

Even Meneur turned out not to be happy with that. “I could do with less yelling, too. It brings back bad memories.”

“All right, but...then how am I supposed to get through to you, guys? You weren’t listening.”

Freyde scratched the back of his head. “I admit we were a little hard on you yesterday, made it harder than it had to be. So, we kind of deserved that...”

“Speak for yourself, Pointy Ears.”

“Well, apparently, Harper would deserve far worse.”

“Fuck you!”

“Anyway, I say, try to be reasonable with us. We’re not stupid and will understand where we went wrong. Do you guys have anything to add?” Freyde asked, looking at Harper and Meneur.

The mage shook his head. “You said it all.”

“I may still be bitchy about it,” Harper noted, well aware of her personality. “I will do my best not to be, but I make no promises. You just have to deal with it.”

“Fair enough,” Stella said, glad they shared at least that much with her. “Anything else?”

“Don’t fault them for not telling you, Palemooon,” Sergeant Pinescar spoke up when no one in Squad Four, myself included, was able to tell her any other discord they had. “It can be challenging to figure out what annoys one, even for the person himself. Not to mention that these things can come up further down the road, and you’re together for only a few days. Give it time, watch, ask.”

“Yes, sir,” Stella said and watched. I mean, she gave everybody a look, a look that said: ‘You heard the man, just tell me.’ We were supposed to feel free to tell her whenever something was bothering us.

So I took the chance. “About the solo hunt...how do you feel about it?”

She chuckled, running her fingers through her hair again. “Sure, we have time. You need it; I need it. Thinking back, it might help us with our teamwork in a way. Just one beast, though. That’s all, Korra. You hunt it down and come back. And one more thing, it’s not a contest; it’s not about who’s faster or stronger; it’s about blowing off some steam. Got it?”

Now she sounded like my mother, trying to ensure I understood all her bickering. I loved my mom. She could be stern at times, though.

“Yes, ma’am. So you are going which way? That way, and I’ll go this way?”

“You’re unbelievable, Korra,” she shook her head, then nodded, pointing in the direction I gestured, to one of the many rolling hills around. “Yeah, go that way, and don’t get lost.”

“Don’t worry, I have that covered,” I said, pulling the Thread out of my spatial storage. Like every other city guard, I got the magic tool issued at the barracks. Rayden simply didn’t want any of her men to get lost in the Labyrinth.

“Shit, because of your beast side, I keep forgetting that you have the mana reserves of a mage,” Stella said under her breath. But that was it; that was all she said before waving me off. And I went, itching for a little solo action.

“Idleaf,” I called out to the spirit engrossed in playing on a blade of grass. There was no need to be rude and let her find out I was leaving only by her not being able to maintain her form.

“What?” she huffed at me and stopped short. “Is it time to go? I thought we had more time. I almost had it right.” What she was whining about was the song she was trying to play, the Falling Star. For some reason, she really loved that one. To her credit, she was kind of right. Her whistling indeed sounded remotely like the song. Yet I was glad for the moment of silence, minus her whining, as the sharp sound of her whistling, no matter how good she was at it, was nothing pleasant to my ears.

More and more, I saw the need to buy her a music tool, one that wouldn’t hurt my ears. Any instrument could be like that, pleasant to listen to, or so I believed, according to my experience from the taverns, if handled by a master. Unfortunately, Idleaf wasn’t one, and I was afraid that any tool in her hands might turn into a torture device. Hence my reluctance to take her to a music store or even raise her with the idea of buying the instrument. 

Nevertheless, despite her whining, I threw myself into the hunt and enjoyed it a little too much. You could say that even though I could take the rabbit down in a few hits, I deliberately dragged out the fight, playing with my prey. Not a good habit, which I was a bit surprised to find in myself, even disgusted by it. There was no hiding the truth that I enjoyed the thrill it brought, though.

The hunt was just what I needed to get rid of my pent-up frustration, scratch that pesky itch in the back of my mind. Working in a squad, in a pack, was one thing, but facing the beast alone was another kind of thrill that got my blood pumping. It proved to me that I still had it in me and calmed my inner beast.

Hence, I came back to the rest of Squad Four in a far better mood and much later than Stella, who was finishing the food she didn’t get to finish earlier - well, because of me. 

“Finally, took you long enough,” said Meneur, rising eagerly from the ground when he saw Idleaf and me coming. Apparently, even someone like him could grow a little impatient when a gal took her time.

“With how much she ate before, I bet she took a dump,” Harper smirked at her own dumb remark. “Oh, come on, don’t frown at me. There’s nothing wrong with that. What’s wrong is how long we’ve been sitting on our asses here. Seriously, any longer, and I’d doze off.”

“As much as I hate to, I have to agree with Harper on this. While you and Stella had your fun out there, sitting here has got us pretty stiff. I’m all for some exercise.”

“Then,” Stella spoke up as she washed down her last bite with a sip of water. “If you’re all ready, we can crack on.”  

She didn’t have to ask twice. Despite all the flaws in our cooperation, we all were ready to give it another try. And so, without further ado, we set out to face the beasts once again as a squad.

But the sounds of grazing prey nearby were not what reached my ears when we came down the gentle slope of the hill we took our afternoon break on. At first, I took it for background noise, the rustling of the grass and such, not paying much attention to it. And it very well could have been a noise I’ve heard many times and chalked up to the same. Only now, the noise grew with every step we took, getting clearer and clearer, turning into people’s voices. 

At least, that’s what it sounded like to me, like someone was talking, shouting, and yelling. Someone somewhere was in dire straits. Yet, where and what they were shouting at each other escaped me.

“Do you hear that?” I asked to ensure I wasn’t losing it, hoping it wasn’t Fallen’s Cry messing with me again. No one did, though, of course. 

“Hear what?” asked Stella alerted, looking around

“The voices? People talking?”

“We haven’t said a word since we set off,” Freyde noted.

“No, I know we didn’t. I’m not talking about us, but...” I had no idea how to describe it to them when I myself didn’t really know what I was hearing, whether they were real voices, echoes of an ancient battlefield left behind, or just my hearings.

That was when I remembered Deckard mentioning places in labyrinths like this, where according to one theory, the barrier between worlds, instances that labyrinths created for seekers to explore and die in, was so thin you could hear the other side. If so, I could only blame my overly sensitive hearing that I heard what the others didn’t and had nothing to worry about. After all, he mentioned nothing worse than that seekers could occasionally hear whatever the shit I was hearing was.

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