Lament of the Slave

Chapter 237: Chapter 234: Truth Acceptance


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“You sure you’re okay?” A dumb question, but I had to ask, careful not to imply, well, anything. Not exactly a tactful thing to do.

Which Stella made very clear with a frown. Then her shoulders slumped and she shook her head. “I-I wish I could say yes, but - I’m not sure.”

“If you need more time...”

“That’s gonna change shit,” she grunted. “Look, I-I was prepared for a powerful beast on the loose, a creature from the dark corners of Eleaden, or some shitty dark mage, but this...”

“This puts things in a different perspective, doesn’t it?” I finished for her as she paused, not knowing how to put into words the turmoil she felt inside.

“It sure does. The whole damn living world. How are we supposed to - could you put some shit on, please? I’m not in the mood to look at your tits right now.”

My cheeks flushed, and I shot for the clothes I’d tossed in the corner, one thought on my mind. How could I not care? I was aware that I was naked when I shifted back, but for some reason, that wasn’t my biggest concern at the moment. That was Stella. My lack of clothes was secondary, unimportant and - well, almost natural. The realization startled me. Back in the fight with Ronnu, I had been bashful about showing my hairy ass, and now I had no fucking problem with it? What had changed?

The only thing that came to mind was the connection I shared with Rairok. For a moment, we were one, I was him and he was me. So, was there more to it than I thought? Did he leave a mark on me? Hell, did he lie to me?!

No.

At least I didn’t think so. I mean, he could have decided to show me whatever he wanted. But from what I saw, he wasn’t like that. Rairok was honest with me.

What was it then?

“Did your clothes get wet?” Stella asked me as I growled in frustration. She seemed to be getting better. 

“Nah, it’s nothing,” I replied, pointing at my now-clothed self. “What do you think? Better?” 

“I took you for the shy type,” she shot back, then shook her head. “I don’t know, Korra. I just feel like things aren’t what they used to be, so wrong - sorry, that’s not the right word - different, maybe?”

As I sat down at the bar next to her, I couldn’t help but nod, agreeing with her. The whole truth put things in a whole different perspective. “I wouldn’t say the shy type, by the way. I’m just not comfortable being naked in front of people.”

“In other words, shy,” she chuckled, and while I found her remark irritating, wanting me to respond with something along the lines of whether she had no qualms with putting her tits on display for all to see, the fact that she laughed made me relax a bit.

“Whatever,” I growled back, wanting to move on from the topic of my awkwardness with nudity.

Stella was of a different mind. “You didn’t seem that uncomfortable with your tits out, though.”

“Well, if you must know, I wasn’t - I didn’t mind at all - and that’s what bothers me. Happy?” It came out harsher than I wanted and I was well aware of it, regretful even. “I’m not like that, Stella.”

“I have seen the old thee, and I can say that thou art not what thou used to beest, Korra’leigh Grey,” Rairok chimed in, not-so-helpfully.

Another snide remark came to my mind, but I swallowed it. “I’m aware of that. I’ve come to terms with what I am. You know that, Rairok.”

“I do. It speaks of thy persistence and will. Not that thou hast opened up all the possibilities of thy body.”

He didn’t have to tell me that. I was more than aware of that, too. My drake’s heart, Sage and his poison, Mossbears and their ability to control nature, Miros and - hell, I had no idea what their thing was besides flying - but the point was; I was far from mastering any of it. All I did was accept what I was. A hybrid of man and beast.

“So you’re saying that because of her beast half, she has no problem showing her tits now?” Stella asked, and although I found her question way too brazen, I was puzzled by her attitude and fixation on - my boobs. As far as I knew, women weren’t her cup of tea. So where did this come from?

“My kind do not see nudity as thine do - though after so many years among humans, I understand. Our bodies serve to show our vitality, our strength, to intimidate our opponents, and to attract our mates. Among my kind, there are many species where the breasts serve as a sign of the female’s vitality and strength, her ability to feed her young, and in some cases, by shape and color, her childbearing ability. So why cover yourself?”

I blushed. Yes, I had turned red listening to him, but his point wasn’t lost on me. “You think I'm just more in tune with my beast-self now?”

He let out his strange yowl and rolled his eyes. “Yes. We connected. Thou hast known my whole life, thy roots. Thou hast seen what the connection is, how intimate it is. It would be foolhardy to think that it wouldn’t impact thee.”

“Did Korra affect you too, Rairok?” Stella asked, taking the question out of my mouth.

“Of course she did. Aside from the truth about you two and this place, I have gained a far deeper understanding of humans through her than I ever would have been able to. I’ve experienced what it’s like to be one. While it’s too soon to say exactly how, the connection has undoubtedly left an impact on me.”

“I see,” I uttered, finding nothing better to say as my thoughts drifted back to me. Once again, I had become more beast-like. Or at least I adopted more of their ways, their manners, and it made me wonder what else my body had in store for me.

“Now I’m worried about my boobs changing color.”

Stella burst out laughing. “Or shape.”

“Fuck!” I cursed, but laughed along with her. It was so refreshing. After days of worry and bombshells in the form of the living world, being able to laugh heartily was a welcome break from the dreary pace. Knowing what we knew, my beast worries now seemed trivial, petty, and something that helped Stella get her mind out of the mire of her thoughts. I saw it now. Just as I needed something familiar to lean on, so did she. To my annoyance, it was my beast issues.

“Look, Korra,” Stella said as she stopped laughing and returned to her serious self. “I apologize. I know this isn’t funny to you. I just...”

“It’s all right. Seriously, I needed that laugh too - besides, it’s good to have you back.” I grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled it up to look at my chest. “But this is worrisome.” I didn’t even want to imagine what Mr. Sandoval would think if I asked him to check the books for references to female beasts’ breasts.

Stella grinned, but said nothing more about my boobs. Instead, she looked into the distance again. This time, however, with more clarity in her eyes. 

“Living world, Korra.”

“I know, unbelievable.”

“Do you think yours was too?”

“No, at least not like this.”

“What if it was? And you just didn’t know? Seriously, how could anyone not know?” For a moment I was confused, too slow to follow her train of thought, before I realized she was talking about Eleaden and not Earth anymore. 

“The World Trees are bound by an oath, and who knows who else,” I pointed out.

“But there must have been hundreds, maybe thousands of records. They can’t all just be lost.”

“I don’t know, Stella, something must have happened and... erased those records.” Even I thought it was a bit far-fetched. But it was the best explanation I had at the moment.

“Don’t tell me no one would pass it on to their children and grandchildren, that no one would tell a soul.”

“If I may,” Rairok yipped. “What if that oath wasn’t something made of free will and specific to one or two species? What if that oath was imposed on everyone in my time?”

“But why would anyone...?” Stella said, stopping short. “Eleaden.”

“Yes. That’s what I think. That it was Elea-Den who bound ALL creatures with an oath.”

“To stop referring to it as a living world?” Stella voiced her doubts.

And I had to agree with her. “How would that help in a war if those who needed to know already knew?” It just didn’t make sense, yet there was something to Rairok’s reasoning.

“You two are looking at it through the eyes of the young. It may not have been done to win a war, but with the vision of centuries and millennia to come.”

Ah. That’s when it hit me. Beasts as old as Rairok and Esudein surely perceived time quite differently than Stella and I. But for all I knew, a century could be a heartbeat for Eleaden, and a millennium a mere breath.

“So the United Eleaden Army cornered Eleaden, and it... what? Tried to erase the memory of it?” asked Stella, as I struggled with the idea of centuries passing for the germs on my skin in the meantime.

“At the moment, it hasn’t happened yet, and by all accounts, I won’t live to see that moment, but if I had to guess, that wasn’t the true intention of our planet. From what I have shared with Korra’leigh Grey, many of our plans have come to fruition. Plans to preserve free will and tie down the power of Eleaden.”

The system. He spoke of Labyrinths and the system.

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“The planet must have realized the danger - and tried to stop the Union.”

“And things turned out the way they did,” I finished for him.

“Yes. Not according to its intentions.”

“And what do you think those were?

He took a moment to answer. “Eleaden has never shown mercy. It’s a cruel world, by all accounts. But that may be the way worlds are.” Granted, I too would find no mercy with a parasite in my body or a cancer eating away at my strength. “There have been many attempts to come to terms with Eleaden, to negotiate. They have all been ignored. Many have tried to bring the lost back to our world, myself included, to no avail. Once Eleaden takes hold of you, it will not let go.” There was sadness in his voice. The sadness I felt with him. It wasn’t just the beasts here. He knew the loss of those close to him, his kin. “I imagine it tried to take away the free will of all.”

“Why? Why didn’t it try before?” Stella asked the obvious question.

“Because it failed,” I answered in Rairok’s place. “It knew it would fail, or that it was beyond its power.”

“Beyond its power?” Stella looked at me incredulously. “It’s a fucking planet.”

“Then you have a better explanation.”

“I wouldn’t ask if I had one.”

Damn, I didn’t want to argue with her. “Sorry, Stella. I didn’t mean to...”

“M-me either.”

A moment of awkward silence fell between us.

“Why do you think Eleaden didn’t just try to get rid of us?” Stella finally spoke up.

“You mean kill us?”

“Yeah... Why go around taking control of beasts? It doesn’t make sense to me.”

I had to agree with her. Even if the oath the World Trees I knew were bound by was really a last ditch effort by Eleaden to take control of everyone, which would ultimately kill all intelligent races, it didn’t make sense. There were far easier methods: heating the surface, getting rid of the atmosphere, or just shaking it out and letting the oceans wash away all civilization.

Unless...

“It is believed that Eleaden needs us as much as we need it,” Rairok said, almost as if he were reading my mind. “How we are of any use to it, however, I do not know, Stella Palemoon.”

“Korra?” She looked at me, half expecting me to have an answer. I didn’t. Not really. Well, sort of.

“Some bacteria are good for us, too, and we couldn’t live without some of them. Or at least function properly without them - I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.”

“Who?” Stella wondered.

“A healer. That’s what they called healers in my world. Anyway, as far as I know, destroying the ‘good’ bacteria in your body does you no good.”

Stella smiled at the thought. “So we’re just bacteria to Eleaden, huh?”

“Hey, that’s just my stupid analogy.”

“Not a bad one, though.”

“Really?” I hated to think of myself that way, but...

“Do you have a better one, Korra?”

“No.”

She fell silent again, sorting her thoughts, and I let her take all the time she wanted.

 

***

 

“Do you think what’s happening in the north, the hordes of beasts that destroyed the Terran Federation - do you think Eleaden is behind it? That it is happening again?”

I was wondering when this question would come up. It was inevitable. There were too many similarities between the two events. 

“Pure mana is nowhere to be found,” Stella began to rattle off. “The manna saturation of the air is almost the same...”

“Has it ever been different?” I cut in. That was something I was wondering about, the mana saturation. Unlike me, she grew up on Eleaden - she knew more about it.

She paused and shrugged. “I never thought to ask - or look it up.”

“Oh, I see,” I said, another question immediately rolling off my tongue. “Have humans found a way to refine the ambient mana again? I know it’s possible to use mana from cores through runes and enchantments, but...”

“Not that I know of.”

“Then... perhaps it just hasn’t gone up since then,” I suggested, trying not to make things look so catastrophic. If true, though, it did raise a few questions. Why has mana saturation stayed the same? Didn’t Eleaden recover in the meantime? Millennia has passed since this echo of the past we find ourselves in.

“Maybe,” Stella said with a slight nod. “Or it’s not the humans doing it. It could just as easily be those blasted elves - or dwarves. No one has heard of them for centuries - who knows what they’re up to?” 

Dwarves, I’d heard them mentioned a few times, but I’d never met one. At least now I knew it wasn’t just my bad luck.

“And even if they were behind it, it’s not like humans could march up to them and demand they stop,” Stella continued. “We are not united; you know that all too well, Korra. And the Sahal Empire itself is not in the best of shape right now.”

Granted, if what was happening north of and on the former Terran Federation lands was indeed the work of Eleaden, the humans were fucked. They were far worse off than those in the past - in this echo. In fact, the strength of the present humans could not hold a candle to those of this era. 

“We still have the Labyrinths,” I reminded her, knowing it wasn’t much of a solace. “Traiana said they should work for a few more centuries.”

A rueful smile appeared on her face. “I hope we don’t end up having to hide in the Labyrinths, Korra. I really hope so.”

I felt for her - the notion of the end of civilization was not easy to bear, but I was not as attached to Eleaden as she was. This wasn’t my planet, my home. It wasn’t a place where my family was. Or so I wanted to believe. I had made friends here - friends I would hate to lose. 

Moreover, if I ended up locked in the Labyrinth with the rest of the free-thinking beings scattered among twenty-five others around the world, I’d have a hard time finding my way back home. Especially since Idleaf, who could have sent me there when she grew stronger, couldn’t hide in those ancient structures. The thought of leaving her out there while I hid inside tore at my heart.

“Stella...”

“We have to get back no matter what, Korra,” Stella beat me to it, her eyes shining with as much determination as mine, if not more. She had found the spark, the drive she needed.

“Yeah, we have to,” I agreed. We had to go back and tell people what we had learned, tell anyone who would listen, and was willing to do something about it.

And the way to do that was to get on the battlefield, to get to the center of the Echo. The first step of which I wasted tonight, meaning I had to spend another night in the Cages.

But to be frank, even though it was daunting to know what I was about to face, I didn’t mind. It had to be done; I had to learn to face my nightmares. Besides, I liked being around Rairok. He kind of struck me as my great...great-great-grandfather.

 

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