I carefully slid my brother's pictures in a cute stationery envelope. I was going to give it to Leanna tomorrow as an apology from the way I acted earlier in the cafeteria. I was a bitch even thought I knew it wasn't her fault that Zhander indeed up liking her.
It wasn't that hard to fall for her. Heck, I would even fall in love with her if I was a male.
I roamed my gaze at the plastered photos on the four corners of my darkroom. My darkroom was where I developed all my pictures of Zhander and my brother.
I didn't know when it began, my obsession with collecting photos of Zhander and my brother, that is. Maybe it was that time when I realized how a photo could capture time, how it could capture the past and present together with all its emotions, feelings, and memories.
It was that time I was fourteen when my mother showed me a picture of Zhander and me.
Unconsciously, my fingers caressed a well-preserved photo safely covered in frames hanging on the wall.
The girl was arguing with a boy, yet she had a smile on her face. The boy was tall and handsome, grinning from ear to ear. His body was bent, so their eyes were leveled as he patted her head, eyes mirroring each other –– love-struck and all.
I sighed.
Zhander you dope! How many years would it take for you to realize your feelings for me?
Riiiing~!
I was woken from my stupor when the intercom ringed. I exited my darkroom and locked it securely together with my deepest, darkest, shameful, stalker-like, secret obsessions.
"Yes~?"
I pressed the button of the intercom, and the reception lady's anxious face came into view.
"M-miss Fay, Mr. Zhander Jansen is in the lobby and is insisting on meeting you."
My lifeless heart beat back to life. I knew Zhander was here to either confess to me . . . or reject me.
Of course . . .
"I don't want to meet him~!"
. . . My fear of rejection won.
I ignored the loud, violent protest of my heart. When I was about to end the call, Zhander's deep, somewhat hoarse voice paralyzed me in place.
"I love you, Estela."
. . .
. . .
What?
WHAT?!
My ears went numb when my brain made screeching sounds accompanied by my heart's loud thumping that wanted to get out from my chest and go down to where Zhander was.
"HAVE HIM UP! QUICK!"
I didn't know what I said for my brain was still assaulted by those ringing sound of 'I love you's,' and I let my lips screamed what my heart wanted to say.
I ignored the reception lady's stunned face as she too didn't know what just happened.
I ended the call and waited in front of the elevator in my living room. I was hopping in place, unable to contain the excitement and anticipation. It could just be my mind playing tricks on me and I heard him wrong.
But it was too late to stop myself when the elevator dinged. I didn't wait for the door to open all the way as I flew from the small gap into Zhander's warmth, embracing him as clear droplets of water glistened around us.
Zhander was taken aback but quickly regained his bearing.
He then embraced me tight with the same intensity.
". . ."
". . ."
I knew it!
I wasn't desperate enough yet to hallucinate him telling me he loves me!
His warmth and the intensity of his hug was enough proof that I didn't hear him wrong!
. . .
. . .
There was silent for a moment before he spoke.
"Little Stela, I'm sorry . . ."
Zhander released me and gently wiped away the tears in my eyes.
I shook my head and stared at him with so much love, hands tightly gripping his shirt.
I'd already written down a script and practiced it numerous times, waiting for the day that Zhander would finally confess to me.
But now –– all of it didn't matter anymore.
Like bubbles, popped and gone.
"Little Stela . . . I'm sorry . . . If you let me, I want to explain everything to you."
I was overwhelmed with so many emotions that all I could do was nod my head.
Zhander led me to sat on the sofa, my fingers still gripping his shirt, afraid he would disappear like all of this was just my mind playing tricks on me.
I almost squeal when Zhander went down on his knees, so our eyes leveled. Maybe he did it so my neck wouldn't strain at looking at him. He was a tall man, after all. A little taller than my brother in his six feet five inches' height, and me being petite and small in my five feet two inches' dwarf-like stature.
"Little Stela . . . I want you to know where it all began."
Zhander started. His hand cupped my hands, causing me to release his shirt. He placed my hands on top of my lap together with his while his eyes held mine in captive.
"It was . . . How do you put it . . . Love at first sight? You were barely nine at that time when I first laid my eyes on you. But I didn't know what I was feeling. It was foreign to me. And mostly because I couldn't believe a chubby little girl could entice me."
I chuckled, and he smiled as he gently caressed my cheek.
"You were looking at Cain, full of adoration and worship, like all you see was him and no one else. At that moment, all I ever wanted was to become Cain . . . To become a brother to you so you could also give me that kind of look."
So it started because of that?
"I acted the part well, and it worked. I enjoyed your eyes looking at me full of love and adoration that I became addicted to it. Acting as a brother to you for so many years made me think what I felt for you was only natural . . . Until Leanna pointed it out to me."
He laughed bitterly at himself.
Zhander gently cupped my cheeks as he stared intently into my eyes that made my whole world stopped, trying to freeze this moment.