The three adults froze on their seats as the air filled with overwhelming awkwardness. No one expected this young fellow’s thinking.
“Oh! Adam, what are you talking about?” Lira smiled palely while her eyeballs rolled at Adam giving him a meaningful sign. She was the one to break the awkwardness in the air.
Adam sniffed at Lira with eyes saying like, ‘What? I am helping you.’
“Adam, Aunt Lira had another boyfriend.” Arabella butted in without a deep understanding of what had Adam seen in the situation. Lira confessed that she had a boyfriend already so there should have been no other issue.
“Yes, Adam. I have a boyfriend already.” Lira quickly took over the pace. ‘And I don’t have anything to do with your Uncle Damien.’ She wanted to add but it was just trapped in her mind.
For a while, Damien didn’t say anything as he continued sipping his coffee calmly. He just let the girls explain to Adam. Both of them didn’t know how Adam mind’s works and his interpretation of everything.
“It’s just like this young buddy, Uncle Damien and your mom love each other. Uncle Damien promised to love you too. We are going to have a family. Is that okay with you?” Damien explained never glancing at Lira.
Damien’s words hurt Lira so bad but she tried to put on a fake smile on her face. Deep inside she wanted to breathe some air outside. She already felt suffocated.
“Hmmm… Okay!” Adam didn’t argue nor was excited. “As long as you don’t hurt my mom. Is that clear Uncle Damien?” He added with reassuring brave eyes. In his little mind, wasn’t suppose Uncle is for his Aunt?, Mom is for his dad?.... But seeing his mother smiling, he had to give her that happiness. She deserves all the happiness in the world. Someday, things would change. He was like waiting for a suspense movie to watch very soon.
“Oh! That I can promise, young man.” Damien raised his hand to mess up Adam’s hair.
The promise of Damien closed every hope of Lira in her body. What happened to them was just a mere accident.
That’s right!
Damien treated her like a ghost. He just had his attention with her boss and Adam.
He should be guilty right now that’s why he didn’t want to see her.
His eyes were with Arabella and Adam. They were full of love and sincerity for them. He was determined to make them happy and make a family.
“Oh! I am happy for you two. Congratulations!” Gathering her cool, Lira felt she had to say something for the lovebirds. She gave her warmest smile to them but her heart was already dying inside.
Arabella then hugged her with sincerity.
“Oh, by the way, it’s compulsory that you have to introduce us to your boyfriend. I think this family will grow bigger. Right, Damien?” Arabella sounded with a soft laugh. She was looking to Damien to get his approval.
Lira was stunned by her boss’ words and so Damien.
After she asked him, that’s the only time he put his eyes on Lira again.
Lira met his eyes. His eyes were questioning but cold. She didn’t know what he's thinking.
“Yeah. You should Lira. Let us meet your boyfriend.” He then replied then avert his stare right away.
Lira was already tired of putting a smile in front of them. She didn’t know what her smile looked like but it didn’t matter as long as she would not kill the sweet moment of the newly announced couple.
“Yeah. Sure. I will ask him, Ms. J” She had to answer a lie again. Her lips were already shivering from smiling nonsense.
“How about dinner tomorrow? Would it be, okay? Damien and I would prepare the dinner.” Arabella was really curious about her boyfriend. Even though she already reminded herself many times that Lira was already a grown-up and she had no right to interfere in her life but still she couldn’t help to worry about Lira. Maybe because she came from the orphanage and was shielded by cruelty outside. Arabella knew how cruel the world was outside.
People were very cruel…
“That’s right Aunt Lira, I want to see your boyfriend if you two were a match with each other.” Adam butted in. “I will beat him if he would hurt you.” Adam added like a brave adult while folding his arms in front of him.
“Oh, sure. Tomorrow then.” Lira didn’t know what to reply. She needed to find a way. This time, she was the one to avoid Damien’s eyes. It’s over for them. For her, maybe this is the right time for her to put a dot to Adam’s worry, for her boss’s calm, and to show Damien that she had erased what happened to them.
He is nothing to her too!
Lira swore to herself to do anything to get someone who she could introduce as her boyfriend tomorrow.
After, she can leave the house in peace. Her guilt would not allow her to continue living with the good people. She’s a sinner. She became a sinner because of him.
Because of her love for him…
The love that’s wrong and never it will be right.
After breakfast, Lira went back to her room. Fixed herself and breathed ample air to fill up her body that was about to collapse for lacking oxygen with Damien’s unexpected morning encounter.
It’s still a long day and she could still find someone out there willing to be her fake boyfriend.
Opening her closet, she saw Damien’s clothes and her heart was once again jolted. That feeling of wanting to forget him but her heart was still craving for him without even knowing her hands had already touched his clothes and gently smelled the scent that wrapped on them.
She didn’t know if she had to return it or keep it.
Isn’t it too awkward?
Just when she put down his clothes in her bed, someone knocked on her door.
Quickly, she opened it as she thought her boss had some work for her.
When she saw the person outside, she almost stumble. She was shocked to see Damien behind her door.
‘What is he doing here?’
‘Didn’t he avoid her this morning?’
‘What if someone sees them?’
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Gathering herself to treat him nicely, “You. Why are you here? Do you need anything?” Her voice was calm but she could feel her inside was shivering by his presence.
“We need to talk.” Damien strode inside uninvited.
She wanted to shoo him away as she didn’t want her boss to misunderstand them.
“You can’t be in my room.” Lira replied with her heart racing in nervousness.
“Why not, Lira?” Damien frowned and looked at her with deep eyes.
Lira didn’t reply. She didn’t know how to put her words so she chose not to say it anymore.
“That thing we did…” Damien started talking again and paused.
Lira just stood still. She had nothing to say all her senses heightened to every word he wanted to say.
“Let’s forget about it.” Damien said then he sat down on her bed.
Lira felt very nervous when she saw him sat on her bed.
Aren’t you in a hurry? What if her boss would come? Is he not scared?
This is her boss's house.
“Relax, Lira…. Your boss and Adam aren’t here. I brought them to school earlier for parents and teacher day.” Damien felt her nervous so he saved her from breaking down.
“Oh.” Lira heaved a sigh of relief after his words but just a little bit of relief because his presence never made her relieved.
“So, if you are done with your purpose here, you may go. I know that what happened to us is nothing to you rest assured it’s nothing to me too. I am very sorry to bother you that night. I should have not slept with you. I regretted it and it’s all my fault.” Lira said half-truth and half lies.
She didn’t expect Damien to pity her but she swore she saw his eyes flickered but in just a blink it was gone.
“Okay then, it’s good that we have the same understanding of everything. I am sorry about that too, I was carried away. I love your boss so much and Adam. I don’t want them gone because of one mistake.” Damien's stare was serious. He seemed to trust her words.
His words were like salts that rubbed her fresh wound, she still put up a wide smile. He was right, it’s one mistake.
One big mistake…
“I know and I am happy for the both of you.” She was not lying that she was really happy.
Damien didn’t look at her, his eyes wandered around her room.
“Oh. By the way, please take your clothes with you.” Lira had remembered his clothes so she quickly got his clothes on the bed near him.
Once again, they were very close to each other. Lira instantly felt the same air in his room that time. She immediately stepped back and Damien too suddenly stood up. He seemed to feel it too.
“Here.” Lira gave him his clothes. “Thanks.” She added turning her back to him.
She thought he would go out immediately but she didn’t hear the opening and closing of her door. She stopped and she felt someone was still staring at her behind. Then, she turned around to see him unmoved near the door. His back was leaning on the wall while his one hand was in his pocket.
“Is there anything else?” Lira asked as she really wanted to end the conversation with him. She started to feel suffocated again.
“Nothing. I am leaving.” Damien replied and was about to open the door but he stopped again.
“Lira, do you really have a boyfriend?” His eyes were questioning but she could not read his thoughts.
“Yeah. Of course!” She put up a smile again but her lips were shivering.
“Oh.” Damien was obviously had something but was hesitant to ask. “Then, why did you give your virginity to me?” Finally, he asked her with sharp eyes pierced to hers.
“Oh! About that…” She trembled at his unexpected question. She had a boyfriend before but they agreed to do it on the night of their wedding but some unexpected things happened.
“I… I am drunk that time and I didn’t know and felt everything.” She replied with a made-up story.
Seriously? She didn’t feel anything?
Her moans were louder than those foxes howling at night.
She hated herself to come up with such lame excuses but seeing Damien’s expression with gloominess, she was relieved. He seemed to believe her but it was just a quick second. Instead of going out of her room, he strode forward to her.
“You didn’t feel anything?” Damien stepped forward to her with a deep frown. He seemed insulted by her words.
“Oh. Sorry. I am drunk at that time.” Lira gathered her cool and replied while stepping back.
Damien was very close at her now and his eyes were fierce. He seemed to get so angry with her and she regretted saying it.
“Didn’t you moan my name so many times?” His forehead lines deepened. He was really angry.
“Oh. Sorry I really don’t know what I am doing that night.” Lira replied. Since the words already slipped out of her mouth so might as well put justification to it.
Damien looked at her with deep eyes. She swore she saw mere disappointments on them but in just a blink it’s gone. He looked at her face while his arms folded in front of him. He seemed caught in deep thinking.
“Okay!” He then uttered like he was already back to his senses. He nodded repeatedly like he was agreeing to something and he laughed a bit.
“Are you okay?” Lira couldn’t stop asking him. His actions were a bit weird.
“Nothing. It’s just that… that’s also my first time..” He looked at her like his stare pierced to her soul then he strode out without giving her a chance to reply.
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