Chapter 5: CH5: Got 99 Problems

In a throne room surrounded by light so bright, it took a special pair of celestial eyes to see the new bright that surpasses mortal limits, and a man with tired eyes sat on a throne. An angel with black wings kneeled before the man on the throne. Tens of thousands of whirling trumpets with wings of melted gold boomed the man's name while the most devout in life sang his praises. Choirs of virtuous men yielded their very souls to him as the song of the man’s trumpeters wore away at the souls of virtuous men to feed the man. Yet, despite the sacrifices, the man continued to give off a feeling of melancholy.

 

“She judged souls not hers to judge, condemned someone she knew personally that never wronged her after accusing him of everything she did to him. What am I to do with such an unfilial daughter? She is worse than you, son; at least your rebellion had an end to it.” The man said.

 

The black-winged angel smirked. “I never had the temerity to give soul skills to mortals. Even my foolishness had limits. There is a chance, not a large one that her ex-husband will return and take his revenge.” Cyrus Lucifer said.  

 

“Send the battle angels and get rid of him then.” The man said automatically.

 

The black-winged angel’s mask of indifference slipped. “For a single soul.”

 

Stacks upon stacks of graphic novels and whole hard drives appeared in the throne room. Some fell on the nearby trumpeters. “These are all prophesies written all over the world of those slain come back to right wrongs. In them, there is nothing anyone can do to stop them whether they come back as heroes or villains.”

 

“I believe I read some of these on the toilet while sister was doing her makeup. They aren’t prophecies.” Cyrus said.

 

“Millions of humans wish this to be true; that is too close to a divine prophesy for my taste. However, when my daughter unwittingly executed it, she opened a door that remained open. I fear my former son-in-law will return more powerful than you or I could possibly imagine.”

 

After billions of years, his divine father had finally gone senile. He thought it was a bit much after he flooded a valley and convinced some country bumkin that the whole world had been flooded. Then he sent Cyrus’s favorite brother to earth to seed a crop of devout souls to feast upon.

 

“No,” Cyrus said.

 

The old man’s eyes blazed, and his tired appearance evaporated. “Are you rebelling against me again, boy? First, you refuse to give respect to my less than great creations, and now you’re telling me not to strike down an enemy before it can rise.”

 

Cyrus changed tactics. “Is it unreasonable to allow my sister to get what she deserves for once? I liked Silas; he didn’t complain when I cheated at card games.”

 

“You could give Tyrone a chance; your sister really likes him; she’s settled down after sentencing her ex. I think grandchildren are likely you’re going to be an uncle soon, from what I hear. Do you want some up-start mortal coming back and upsetting your sister while she’s pregnant?” The man said.

 

“Let’s look and see how Silas is doing before we send any angel hit squads,” Cyrus said.

 

His father sighed and waved his hand. At first, it showed a fish on the bottom of a swampy bog, then peered inside it. Soon enough, they were looking at the half-digested corpse of a squirrel. Then they zoomed in further to see a leech clinging to the squirrel’s vaginal wall.

 

“Perhaps a kill squad is a bit much. A faithful with a pair of good boots and a fishing pole would do the job.” The man said.

 

“What did Silas do to deserve this?” Cyrus asked.

 

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It was his father’s turn to change the subject. “She asked me to pick out some baby names. Do you want to hear them?” The man said.

 

Merika had claimed he cheated, but there was no evidence. She claimed he beat her, but it would be like a toddler beating a steel wall. Silas would be dead knowing his sister’s temperament. At the end of the day, Cyrus believed she cheated because she could father never punished her for anything. So he decided to confront her and get to the bottom of the situation.

 

  …

Silas slowly poked his head out of the squirrel’s opening. He felt the acid push against the mucus covering his body. The reincarnated leech waited but didn’t feel any burning. Slowly he peaked through his closed eyelid only to find that the slime protected his eye.

 

He looked up to see a duckling squirming in the catfish’s squeezing claustrophobic stomach. Its little orange legs kicked even as it was squished down until it could only twitch. Silas realized that this was the perfect hunting ground since the stomach couldn’t hurt him. Or better yet, he could start feeding on the fish.

 

Silas flipped over on his side and upturned himself to make a smile. It was his only way to show his happiness after going through this predicament. After that, he crawled up the stomach wall one suction cup at a time until he reached the duckling’s leg. Then he suctioned himself to the side of its leg.

 

Blood flowed down his proboscis, and he happily slurped away at the duck with no fuss.

 

“This is rather ideal since hunting by yourself would be difficult. You’ll have to watch out for monsters that chew.  

 

Level Up

Level Up

Level Up

Silas lvl10

+6 Skill Points

 

This time he didn’t immediately invest them. Investing points immediately when he didn’t know what to do was what a scrub without a convenient voice in their head would do.

 

“Alright, Mother, what should I do to take on those adventurers. I don’t have the power now, but this is the time to set myself up to do it in the future. Are you going to work with me or try to force me to attack them like a wild animal and die?” Silas said.

 

“I know you’re manipulating me to get ahead, but you’re right. You’re too pathetic to kill an adventurer who killed me on your own. But don’t worry; your mother is here to hold your hand.”

Silas wondered if he could dunk himself in holy water to purge his hanger-on. But, help or no help, he had pride too and an ex, possibly a universe and dimension away to kill. But, thanks to her, he would never forget what she did to him. So, he would use anything he had to min-max and break the game.

 

“You have the hentai skill, right.” Mother said.

 

“Yea, what does that have to do with anything?” Silas asked.

 

“Invest every third point into charisma until its EX-rank; that should be your goal when survival isn’t on the line. Put the second of those three points in skill until EX rank and the rest in health until its EX. Only eldritch horrors and a rare type of succubus gain the hentai skill, especially early. Add the parasite and leech skill into the mix, and you have an interesting combination. Now invest in charisma and crawl up that bird’s poop shoot.” Mother said, and Silas concluded they were on the same page. If he had a potentially game-breaking skill, why not use it.  

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