Chapter 50: 50 Baka

Brigit walks over and nudges me. “It doesn’t matter. We can give it a try now,” Brigit says.

 

“Sure, why not,” I state as I tighten my ponytail. I flip to the mushroom Spurting Cap. I stand over the dirt and select birth spawning. I’m surprised when I feel my uterus fill with a liquid. It spluges out from between my legs and lands on the dirt. It didn’t even feel that good. I’m disappointed.

 

Everyone is looking at me questioningly. I step off the garden and look back at it. The ground is covered in a white substance.

 

“So, how long till it grows?” Brigit asks, walking over to me.

 

I stare at the ground for a moment and then lean into Brigit. “I don’t know. I didn’t think about it!” I hiss.

 

“Well, look,” Brigit replies.

 

“It doesn’t tell me what if it takes a million years? It’s embarrassing. What should I do?”

 

“It’s fine. I helped pick the plant, so I’ll take the fall with you.”

 

We both look over at mom and the woman. I open my mouth, but words don’t come out my mind is racing. “Call a friend. That’s it! Yeah, just a moment,” I stammer and speed walk out of the dungeon.

 

I get outside and pray for a mystical bar on my cellphone. I stick the phone into the air and lean this way and that. Damn it. I look up at the trees and pick a tall one that looks easy to climb.

 

I ignore the chiding I can almost hear in my head and pull myself up. I reach out and use knots as stepping stools until I’m near the top of the tree. I swallow hard as I look down. I’m about four stories up. Still, it’s the moment of truth. I look at my phone, and somehow there is a bar!

 

I quickly select Angelica and hear it ring. A moment later, Angelica picks up, “I told you I’m streaming, idiot!”

 

“I know, but I’m at the dungeon, and something came up,” I explain quickly.

 

“I thought you couldn’t get a signal out there,” Angelique says accusingly. “It’s my idiot friend from the picture. No chat. She isn’t my girlfriend,” she says in exasperation.

 

“Yeah, I’m up four stories in a tree,” I tell her.

 

There is a pause, then a loud sigh. “Seriously, you’re supposed to be taking it easy. Also, you don’t have the equipment. You are truly dumb. Chat, I need to talk to my idiot friend, so I’ll take a break.” I hear her get up and leave the room. “Alright, what happened?”

 

“I didn’t think about it, but I didn’t check how long the mushroom would take to grow and when I gave birth to them, they are just a white substance,” I explain while clinging to the tree trunk as the wind blows.

 

“Yeah, they start at their earliest stage when you do that. You should just do a normal summon,” Angelique states as if it’s obvious.

 

“I want them to be special, though,” I say bitterly.

 

“Why? They already have what you want. If anything, they may gain a trait you don’t want.”

 

“That’s true. But still, I didn’t think about it, but if they don’t grow back fast enough, I won’t be able to get points. What if they grow every ten thousand years?”

 

“Then just choose a different one.”

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“I don’t know how to figure out how long it’ll take, though.”

 

I hear Angelique shift the phone to her other ear and say, “You got everything else by doing a search. So add the growth time to it and change it until the mushroom doesn’t show up.”

 

“Alight. Let’s start with ten thousand years,” I say with a strained voice. I move the menu with my mind, and “It’s still there!”

 

Angelique's voice is disgusted as she says, “You’re already excited? What’s the point of choosing such a big number? If it takes more than a month, it’s already a problem.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s hard to think when your hanging from a tree,” I respond. I switch the search to thirty days, twenty, ten, nine, and eight. Oh, it’s gone. “It’s nine days.”

 

“That’s not too bad. Alright, I’m going to get back to streaming,” Angelique says with a monotone voice. Don’t talk to me like Christal, please!

 

“Wait, the peasant woman is here to test. It’s pretty humiliating to tell her to go back now,” I say bitterly.

 

“That’s not my problem!”

 

“Sorry. Also, how do I get down?”

 

I hear her suck in a breath. “Seriously? Do you need me to call a rescue crew?”

 

“I’ll try to get down myself.”

 

“Uhg, I’m going to be worrying all day. You better call me as soon as possible!”

 

“I’m glad you care. Talk to you later,” I say and then hang up.

 

I look down, and every footing I used looks a mile away. It was much easier to climb. I try to focus on the climb and not the height. It’s scary to climb down. You have to hang down and find your footing. It has a different feeling from climbing, where you pull yourself up.

 

I step on a knot I’m sure I used to climb up, and it rolls off. My foot slips, and I swing on the branch I’m holding. My fingers slip, and I flop down. I reach out an arm and catch it on a lower limb slamming to a stop.

 

I feel my shoulder scream in pain, but it manages to stay in place. I hope I didn’t break anything. I replot my movements, and yeah, my right shoulder is in a lot of pain. But I grit my teeth and continue climbing down.

 

It takes a long time, but I manage to get down with just one fall. When I pat my skirt, happy with my accomplishment, I see someone behind me. I turn around and see mom with a strained smile. “I got a bar,” I explain, pointing at my phone.

 

“I sent the woman home. We’re going home to make sure you are alright. Get on a slime,” Mom orders.

 

I slink away to the slimes. This day wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be.

 

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