Chapter 40: You are not going to retire!

 Augustine: Song weaver, self-proclaimed Life Skiller. Glad that he can teach the baby how to cook...in ten years, or so. 

Junior is so adorable. He can be Augustine Junior. Yes, I can pass over my name to him. My parents will be so glad. Anyway, we are in the tent of the guild master.

We all agreed, after Allan told us that the orphanage in town had enough people in it, and they simply won't have the space for our little treasure, that we are going to retire from the entire adventuring thing. 

Well, Vincent isn't going to. We talked, and he said he can ask the Hornets Party for a spot with them. That is ok. We can all move into Atha's cave, which he said he will turn into a palace for the baby's sake, and I can cook my days away, as I wait for Vincent to come home from this quest or...

"No, hell no," guild master Warren says, as Vincent is done explaining the situation to him. "You are not quitting." 

"We have a baby to take care of, sir," Vincent says. I know that he feels left out what with us choosing to shower our adorable angel with love and care, instead of working towards his hopes and dreams. But he is a responsible parent. 

I suppose he will be a good father, albeit an absent one. 

"You still haven't earned the C for Calamities rang," Warren says. Junior giggles, and Warren's eyes soften. "Can I hold the little boy?" 

We all look at Dean, who is in a staring contest with the baby. He is the one who is holding our firstborn. Seeing as he wants to prove to him, that he didn't mean it, when he spoke against us taking him with us. 

"Here he is. Be careful, he swats with the tail," Dean says, as he hands over Junior. My little Tine Junior. 

"Oh, who has a button nose? Who has a button nose?" We watch, as the guild master pokes Junior on the nose. Our son responds by wrapping his tail around Warren's finger. "You have a button nose." 

"As you see, Junior is defenseless. He needs to be looked after," Vincent says. 

"Yes, by me," the guild master says, and we all blink at him. 

"Sir, he is our son," I say, but the guild master glares at me. 

"What do you know about demons? And I don't mean fucking them," my eyes go wide, and I point at the baby. Warren snorts. "This little guy has the dirty mind of a 50-year-old. You can't handle him." 

"But you babied him," I say, and am rewarded by another snort. 

"It pisses him off, yet, this is how he feeds. I know just how to make him grow by the end of the year. What he needs, is for the entire guild to band together, and baby the living hell out of him," Warren says with an evil grin. Junior begins to cry. 

"Give me my son back," Dean demands, as he reaches out towards the baby. Junior reaches right back, but the guild master pulls him away. 

"Come now, incubus. Were you even calling him that, a couple of hours ago?" The guild master asks. I blink at that. 

No, he called him something else. What was it, again? 

"I called him an imp because that is what he is," Dean says, and I turn to glare at him. 

"How could you call your son that? Don't you have a heart?" I snap at him. I feel like a mama bear protecting her cub. Said cub is reaching out to me, with the saddest eyes, I have ever seen on a baby. 

"Give me my son back!" I demand. 

"He is not your son," the guild master says in a baby talk. Something in my chest twist, and I pull out my harp. As one, the rest of my party pulls out their weapons. "Ah, he has already imprinted, I, see?" 

Junior begins to wail so pitifully, I want to take him in my arms, and snuggle the sadness out of him. 

"Ah, shit," Dean says, and extinguishes his fireball. "The guild master has the right of it, everyone. Come on think. Would you have gotten this attached if it was just any child?" 

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"Are you saying that Atha Junior is brainwashing us?" Atha asks. 

"He is Tine Junior," I snap. 

"Ladies, please, his name is Dean Junior," Dean says, as we all look at Vincent. 

"He is the death of my hopes and dreams. My firstborn," Vincent says, as he buries his face in his hands, and begins to sob. 

"Ok, you had your fun," the guild master says, as he holds Junior in a way that makes the baby be face to face with him. "Release them, or it will be a spanking." 

"Ga!" 

I feel a warmth spreading in my stomach. Junior just said his first word. 

"They are disaster magnets," the guild master continues. "You won't live long enough to grow up, if you don't let them go." 

Then, he turns Junior around, and points at Atha. 

"Your Naga father is a dungeon core. He likes to make mobs, that won't care if you are his son or not, before they eat you," I shake my head. 

"Atha will never make another mob again," I try to defend him. Atha turns to look at me, as if I have just kicked him in the dicks. 

"What do you mean, I won't be making mobs? I am a dungeon core, darn it!" Atha yells, and then his eyes narrow. "That little imp is sucking the life out of me already." 

"Ga-ga!" Junior says, but Atha's eyes don't soften. The guild master chuckles, and points at Dean. 

"And this one, likes to make things go boom," both Allan and I look at Dean, who begins to wave a finger at us. 

"I am not changing for some kid. If it lives, it lives," Dean says. 

"That one," the guild master points at Vincent next. "Will be duty bound to slay you, once he makes it to hero." 

Something in me shrivels, when Vincent doesn't protest. 

"The blonde with the harp," the guild master points at me next. "Will ditch you on the side of the road, as soon as you get in the way of his cooking." 

"No, I won't! We will cook together," I protest. 

"Your best bet is the blonde with the staff," the guild master says, and points at Allan. "But he will grow bitter too. And with his bitterness, your growth will end up stunted." 

"I will love Dean Junior with everything I have," Allan protests.  

Junior gives us all a long look, and then sighs. Soon, I feel as if a fog is lifted from my mind. 

That little imp! 

 

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