Chapter 8: The Chudail’s Tale

Dakini turns, as she slowly lays the stillborn child in a smooth water eroded pit in the cave floor. With her back to me I can finally see the layered hooks embedded in her back, blood streaming down from them.

"There are no children in hell." She starts.

"Save for the cherubs." Litnu adds.

"I have a grandchild though, on Earth. I'm seeking to purify my mortal soul so that I may have a chance to see him once in person, before he passes. He’s the very last in our long lineage… Are you a mother perchance Lily?"

"Oh, well I suppose I would have been…"

"I didn't know it on Earth but I was born a mugharribun. A half Djinn half human mutt, born of a physical manifestation impregnating my grandmother. Nati here, my other dadi, had been summoned as an incubus. As a second generation mugharribun I was cursed with infertility.–"

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"–Vidmahe pushpabanaya

dhimahi tannoanongah

prachodayat. Om Kamadeveya vidmahe pushpabanaya

dhimahi tannoanongah

prachodayat. Om Kamadeveya vidmahe pushpabanaya

dhimahi tannoanongah

prachodayat." I chant, as Aakarsh enters the altar room behind me.

"You wish to know kama my dear? Perhaps we can venture to the bed and meet him."

"Please priye, you know how much this means to me." I sigh, extinguishing the incense.

"as it does to me too mera pyar. You wound me." He jests. "Our child is finally asleep, is all. I figured perhaps we can do more than just chant in an effort to deliver you a child tonight."

"Your child, you mean."

"Reya, none have been more of a mother to Shashin than you." He says, holding out his hand to help me up.

"But I'm not am I. If anything I'm just the mistress you left your wife for."

"And I have no regrets." Aarack, ever the charmer says, pulling me in for a passionate kiss.

"Doesn't it bother you that Shashin will never know his dati and dada?" I ask, as he leads me into the main part of the house.

Fortunately Aarack is a very wealthy man even without the support of his parents. As a result our home is rather large, and the altar room resides apart from the rest of the house. Made of stone, and separated from the entryway by a wall, the wooden windows fed plenty of light into the room. The main house, a fine white soil, and a maze of walls in and of its own. 

"Bah, dati and dada! They never would have accepted our love. Shashin is better off without them."

"And it doesn't bother you that I can't bear you a child myself?"

"Well we simply don't know that to be true yet do we?" He asks, as we weave our path into the master bedroom.

Our woven charpoy bed, sitting before us. With an ornate headboard and more blankets than one could wish for, it is the pride and joy of our household. With his hand still in mine, I kneel on the bed and crawl towards the end. He follows, and crawls atop me slowly and gracefully. He cradles my face in his hands and shares with me the taste of his tongue. When morning came, as I have nearly every day since we started trying for a child, I ventured into the washroom with the bag of gehu and jau placing it and myself over the squat toilet. Wisdom passed down from the elders tells that if wheat, or barley sprout from the bag that I am with child. No sprout has ever yet bloomed in this household. Thai masam comes without any progress.

"Hey! No touching the prasada we're fasting!" I say, lightly smacking Shashin's hand.

"But mam! Why are you making so much food if we can't even eat it?"

"It's for after the purnima tonight that we're hosting."

"Oh… okay. What are we celebrating again?"

"Oh mera bacce, don't you remember our talk this morning while we cleansed in Narmada?"

"Hmmmm… Nope!" he proudly declares, as he rests his head in his chubby little hands.

"Silly child." I giggle. "You'd think Shashin of all people would have more interest in purnima."

"Huh? Why's that?"

"Well, purnima is the celebration of the full moon. Where we worship Narada and Vishnu, and your name Shashin means moon. I've told you what your name means before, remember?"

"Oh, yeeeah."

"Now I know this is your first purnima with the rest of the village. We can afford not to go to every single one, but youre finally old enough to participate, so I want you to be on your best behavior, okay?"

"Okay mam! hey mam? I have a question."

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"Yes hon?"

"When's bapa coming back?"

"Soon baby, soon. Bapa's visiting a nearby village to help the local carpenters building a new church, but he'll be home aaany day now okay?"

"Okay…" Shashin pouts.

An uncharacteristically long amount of time passes before he speaks again.

"Mam? I have a question?"

"Another one? What is it Shashin?"

"I'm hungry…"

"Hehehe" I chuckle. I tell you what, then. You're still young. Here, have some ghee. It'll be our little secret okay?"

"Okay! Thanks mam!" He says, grabbing the ghee, and excitedly running to his room for his blanket.

"–Jai jagdish harey, Swami jai jagdish harey Bhagt jano ke sankat, shan mein door karey Om jai jagdish harey" Advesh Sai, the village priest, reads.

Having finished the vrat katha, Advesh starts the aarti as we all chant along. I light the camphor and the incense as Advesh lights the coconut fibers. Shashin tugs the sleeve of my saree as the aarti gets started.

"Mam I forgot the words."

"Oh honey, didn't we borrow a copy of the written aarti from church? where did you put that?"

"I dunno." He shrugs.

"Here he can borrow one of my kid's. Shonali is old enough that she doesn't need one anymore." Nishith, one of our neighbors, says.

We both thank the man as the rest of those circled around the altar finish the aarti.

"–Fal paavey jai Lakshmi ramana."

With that I quietly excuse myself to mix and serve the prasada outside on the table Aarack carved himself. As people are finishing in the altar room they slowly filter out back towards the table, and I make sure to serve them at their seat.

Nishith, and his four kids take a seat, and I'm serving them as Nishith starts. "I'm sorry your husband couldn't be here tonight, but I'm glad you still agreed to host us."

"Yes, it's very appreciated." Advesh chimes in.

"I simply must have the recipe you used for this sheera." Baaya, a weaver, adds.

"Thank you all, and thank you Nishith for helping with Shashin."

"Oh, it's no problem. My partner Koyel is also out of town often, so I have a lot of practice with kids." He chuckles.

I turn to serve more guests, when he grabs my arm and says. "Hey, there's something else I want to talk with you about after the feast, if that's okay?"

 After I finish eating, he gestures for me to meet him by the river as all of the guests are chatting.

"Is anything the matter?" I ask.

"Listen, I know you and Aarack have been trying for a while to conceive. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I have many children myself. I pride myself on my fertility. You're such a beautiful lotus flower. Perhaps me and you can make an arrangement." He says, cupping my face, and wrapping an arm around my waist.

I look back towards the house, hoping perhaps someone might see us.

"Nishith you're very handsome, but we are both married." I say, turning out of his grasp.

"From what I've heard, a man being married never stopped you before." 

I slap him, and he catches my hand. He smirks, and pulls me closer.

"Listen, Reya, no one needs to know. You and Aarack can be a happy healthy family, have a child of your own, and not just one from a failed marriage. No one would question it. Think it over, if you change your mind you know where I live."

He grabs my face in one hand, and forces his tongue down my throat.

He releases me, and starts walking back, when he turns to add. "Oh, and know this. If you tell Koyel or Aarack about this I'll tell them you kissed me. Who do you think they'll believe? the dutiful father or the homewrecker?" His smug smirk sends shivers down my spine, as he takes his kids and heads home.

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