Chapter 272: 273 He Isn’t Yours to Keep

She turned her head to the direction where the sound came from, but she found nothing. Was it just her imagination? Lu Xiulan chuckled lowly. She must be overthinking again. Strolling closer to the pond, she bent and brushed her fingers against the ripples of the water.

"Sorry guys, no food for you. Only the guests can have some feast tonight," she told the koi fishes that came to her.

"You are one strange woman."

"Who's there?" Lu Xiulan thought she was alone until she heard someone's voice. She stood tall back on her feet, lifted her chin, and turned to the figure standing in the shadows.

"Relax. It's just me."Song Yichen stepped forward revealing himself to her. Lu Xiulan froze when she realized she could not avoid him this time. If she didn't know better, she would have thought he was hesitating.

Her heart pounded as he strode forward and stood beside her, disappointed that he didn't turn back, and left her like he used to. In her memories, his back was always the first that she could come up with. She was always behind him, always trying to catch up with him.

This time, she wanted him to go away and leave her be. She refused to let her feelings get the best of her once more. She turned her eyes back to the pond, ignoring how her heart tried to reach out to him.

After a long awkward silence, Song Yichen spoke. "Everyone loved the campaign. You outdid yourself this time, Xiulan."

Oh, now that was something she wasn't prepared to hear from him. For one, Song Yichen never praised her for anything she'd done before—always reminding her of her shortcomings, failures, and mistakes.

"It was Yuan Jin who made the concept. I was only following his lead. Honestly, I didn't like it that much. That fairy was an idiot, throwing everything for someone who doesn't see her worth," She shrugged while trying to add more space between them.

Song Yichen turned to her, shook his head, and said, "Yeah, because the emperor was a great guy himself, huh?"

The awkwardness started to dissipate, making it easier for Lu Xiulan to relax.

The campaign where Lu Xinyi played as a foolish fairy falling in love with a mortal emperor played by President Shen. The fairy blinded by her love and despair to be with him, threw her immortality just to become a human—only to find out that he'd already picked up another woman to become his empress.

"Of course, he has a duty to his people while the fairy only thinks of herself. If she wasn't so blinded by her love, she would be able to see that the emperor did love her. Instead of trusting his words, she easily believed that he led her on and left him to die." Lu Xiulan countered, feeling that this was more familiar to her than his concern about her.

They mostly argued about the details of the films and campaigns they'd seen. It made her feel warm and closer to him, only that she was the only one appreciating these rare moments between them. Her heart clenched reminding her of what she should be doing.

She shouldn't be thinking of him when, soon, she would become another man's wife.

"Well, maybe if the emperor fought for her instead of letting his ministers dictate his life, the fairy wouldn't jump to conclusions. If he'd explained to her what his plans were and didn't leave her in the dark, they wouldn't be in such a mess."

"Then clearly, the fairy doesn't know that she can't force the emperor to become someone she needed him to be. It was clear that he wasn't ready for her. She put her happiness on someone who wasn't holding onto her."

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Song Yichen stopped, looked at her straight in the eye, and turned their conversation into something else. "I care about you."

Lu Xiulan's jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Her tears stinging her eyes, threatening to fall again this time. She shut her eyes for a moment to block out his image. Why did it still hurt?

She wanted to run away; being this close was too painful for her. Breathing deeply, Lu Xiulan tried to calm herself down. She just had to endure it. After all, this would be their last conversation, and she wouldn't have to deal with him ever again.

Somehow, that thought wasn't as comforting as it was meant to be. Her heart shattered into millions of pieces as she thought about it. She would lose him for good this time.

'He isn't yours to keep.'

That single thought echoed at the depths of her soul and simmered through her mind. She knew it was true. No matter how much it hurt—how much it made her heart ache, she couldn't have him.

Lu Xiulan bowed her head. Hurt and humiliation hit her hard in the chest. She couldn't blame him, couldn't put the guilt on him. It was her shame to bear, not his.

Maybe it was true that, sometimes, the person someone wanted the most was the same person that someone was best without.

"It wasn't my intention to hurt you," he added which added fuel into the fire.

She smiled. A hesitant one, but she pulled it off. "I know, Yichen. I know."

"What's the matter?" he asked in his deep timbre voice. "You seem sad tonight. Something happened?"

She turned to face him, finally finding the courage to do what was right. "There are things that I need to tell you."

No one had told her doing the right thing could hurt so much.

His brows drew together. "What is it?"

He could see that she was upset though he couldn't tell that she was determined to do what was best for the two of them. A grim expression reflected on his eyes.

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