Chapter 14: Bad Memories

Marcolo let me go, and I collapsed face down on my bed, exhausted physically and mentally. Outside, the glare of the midday sun still shone brightly through my window, though I was in little mood to care.

 

“Thanks.” I muttered.

 

“I’m still not sure how you manage it.” Marcolo said, mystified. “First demon dogs, now stairs? You’re not going to declare war on the windows next and start jumping out of them, are you?”

 

I chuckled mirthlessly. 

 

“Alright, alright, I’ll leave.” 

 

As the door shut behind him I turned onto my side to avoid Gideon, who immediately spoke up.

 

About today.

 

I didn’t respond, instead clutching a pillow in front of me.

 

It’s not your fault. To think, right in the middle of the city... He shook his snout. I don’t blame you for not expecting something like that. We’ve never practised mental resistance or anything like that after all.

 

Gideon didn’t really seem to understand what had happened to Auro and I, of that I was reasonably sure. I hadn’t been in much of a mood to explain on the way back either, especially not after I had to expand on where all my bruises and cuts came from to Marcolo, omitting the fact that they weren’t inflicted in the library.

 

It was kind of surreal to see it happen so quickly, though I suppose terrifying’s a better word. He chuckled. But we’re alive! So perk up! We’re allowed to lose every once and while, alright?

 

“Did you…” I asked slowly. “...did you hear the same things?” 

 

Back in that house, the things I had heard weren’t entirely foreign to me. All were worries I’d had once or twice, so while I was reasonably sure I’d only thought of them due to whatever was in that house, I also knew they weren’t exactly made-up.

 

Had I really killed Feanin?

 

Same…? He fell silent for a second before it clicked. Oh! No. I must’ve had some side effects though, for I found myself thinking of my mother and that exam I failed for some reason. Nothing at all like the mind control you and Auro were under.

 

I hugged the pillow harder.

 

Auro had seemed only a little better than I had after our encounter in the house, and hadn’t talked on the way back to the library. I wasn’t too much better and even now wanted nothing more than to forget what had happened, but the fact that Gideon hadn’t shown anything had me assume he wasn’t affected. Was it because he was a dragon, or was it something else?

 

Was he just stronger?

 

Especially when you pulled that knife on yourself after you fell down the stairs. Gideon laughed nervously, and I felt him bound up next to me. Now that gave me a heart attack!

 

I didn’t remember falling down the stairs, that was true, but the knife…

 

Was that really me? Or was that the demon, the ‘Venor’ as Auro had put it? To be entirely honest, I wasn’t sure.

 

But it’s fine, alright? It’s fine! We’ll just start practising mental resistance tomorrow; I might be able to do some of that. And if not? Hans might know something or other about it, right? I mean he’s surely dealt with things like this, and we can alert him about that ‘Efmoravenor’. I felt the little drake prod my back with a paw. I think that’s what I’ll call it, you know. It combines the white dwarf words for ‘whisper’ and ‘demon’. Fits, doesn’t it? I sure heard a lot of-

 

“Gideon.” I interrupted him with a sigh. “I appreciate it, but… but can I just go to sleep?”

 

Ah… of course. He plodded over to the pillow next to me and laid down. Good dreams, Ryder.

 

I didn’t respond, knowing full well how futile that wish was bound to be.

 

…

 

 

 

“The fire!”

 

I jolted up in my bed in a cold sweat, my room markedly similar to the nightmarish scene I had just been delivered from. Quickly I jumped up from the bed and ran to the window, looking over the door towards the large, glyph-lit tower that watched over one of the valley approaches further down the mountain. I could see nothing of the orange-red corona of flames that had topped its peak, nor the billowing smoke towering into the sky. Instead, the twin moons hung above like a pair of eyes, staring back at me like a curious cat. With the onset of winter, the twins had steadily moved closer to each other, destined to split again when the solstice had passed.

 

Unlike the last time, Saphry’s vision had actually lingered in its direction for a while, though for an entirely different reason. Even still, she had not looked directly upon it, so the only image I got of it was still only in the peripheral, though that did not make it any less alarming to me.

 

Just what was that thing, and why did it keep appearing in the memories? Surely it wasn’t actually there in the past, or Saphry would’ve made a mental note of it already, and thus far I hadn’t heard anything about it. The only other options I could think of were that it was some kind of infection of whatever was giving me the memories, or that some spirit was haunting me, though that last option wasn’t too pleasant to think about after yesterday’s debacle.

 

I shuddered.

 

The events of yesterday might’ve faded in intensity with a little sleep, but the implications still stuck with me, especially my suspicions about my role in Feanin’s death.

 

I shook my head violently to clear the thought from my head.

 

It was better not to dwell on the past unproductively, lest I develop a gluttony for such masochistic lines of thought. I’d seen exactly where that could lead, and it wasn’t a place I wanted to visit myself. So off to the mental lockbox it went.

 

That was a good coping strategy, right? Ah well, it didn’t really matter anyway.

 

Glancing back at the bed, I found that the last vestiges of exhaustion had solidly left me already, evaporated by the panic in my awakening despite the time of night. And given that the memories only came once a night no matter how many times I went back to sleep, I didn’t really feel like gambling on not having a nightmare.

 

“Already back to the bad habits, huh?” I muttered to myself. “Figures.”

 

Back in college, I was always getting into trouble for sleeping through classes, though personally I would’ve blamed the great world of criminality that seemed to love the night so much. I’d have to be careful not to fall into the same trap here, or I’d run into a bunch of problems whenever I got sent over to the academy later this month. It’d really suck to go through all those lectures again.

 

I chuckled softly, though it quickly died out when I heard Gideon roll over in his sleep.

 

“Already accepting it’ll take that long, huh Ryder?” I returned my gaze to the window. Outside, the bright lights of the building glyphs reflected beautifully off the canal waters, looking like hundreds of extra stars hanging just a little closer to earth. “I suppose it’s possible.”

 

“At least I’m not alone.”

 

…

 

 

 

“Hello, Saphry. Hi Silst.”

 

Of all the people I would’ve expected in front of Brother Hans’s office door at the eighth bell, it probably shouldn’t have been surprising to see Auro, but after our terse split yesterday I found it hard to do more than stare.

 

“Err, good morning Auro.” I eventually stammered. “I have to say: I didn’t expect to see you here. Are you alright?”

 

Auro gave me a weak smile.

 

“Really, I should be asking you that. You seemed to have the worst of it.” She twiddled with a strand of her hair, rubbing the tip between her thumb and forefinger. “But no, I’m… fine. I’ve heard all of it before anyway, even if it was… ah… harrowing to hear it all again.”

 

I nodded. I knew how she felt.

 

“So you thought to come to the church too then?” I gestured towards Hans’s door. “Do you want to go in together then?”

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She agreed, and the three of us (including Gideon) entered the office. It was fairly sparse furniture-wise, with just a desk, some chairs, and a couple bookshelves, but it still managed to feel homely. A large mosaic window dominated the back wall behind the desk, and the books looked interesting enough, with titles such as ‘Lumenal Thaumaturgy’ and ‘Monsters of Summark’ littering the shelves.

 

Behind the desk, a miniature giant with a well-used pencil only a couple inches long scribbled down notes into a thin book. He looked up as we entered, his expression quickly morphing into a smile. 

 

“Lady Belvan! Lady Astrian!” He stood up, shaking both of our arms at the same time. “What might’ve brought you two here all of a sudden?” He offered me an additional appraisal. “Is Marcolo close by as well?”

 

Was Marcolo’s helicoptering that well-known?

 

“He’s in the lobby waiting.” I gave him a pained smile. “You know how it is: can’t leave home without him.”

 

Hans laughed, a booming laugh that somehow turned my smile into a real one with its infectious joy.

 

“The pains of being a noble, I’m afraid. Actually, it might be more surprising to see you walking around without such a guard, like Miss Auro right here.” He nodded fondly. “Before I was inducted into the priesthood, I could barely walk from my bedroom to the garden without my father fussing.”

 

I felt a pang of jealousy towards the others. Neither Fredrick, Breale, Andril, or Auro seemed to have to deal with the same problem, after all.

 

“They’re like that with my brother.” Auro smiled politely. “It makes me glad for my family’s peculiar succession.”

 

Idly, I wondered just how Summark’s own succession worked. If Corto died - assuming he was still alive of course - would I become the new heir?  Would I inherit the entire mark?

 

“Indeed, stewardship is a lofty obligation.” Hans agreed. “But I don’t mean to waste your time with idle talk. Tell me! What do you need?”

 

“I do hate to burden you with this.” I began.

 

“I wouldn’t worry about that.” Hans chuckled. “Almost anything is better than paperwork, and I’m supposed to help anyone I can.” He shot a strict look towards me. “Even if one of them hasn’t attended communion for the last five years.”

 

I shot my eyes down to the right with a small laugh.

 

Together, and with a few additions from Gideon, we explained to the paladin what we had heard about the house and what we guessed would happen if two people theoretically walked in, careful to omit anything that would’ve put us in direct contact with the monster, while also mentioning that we needed an overdue book from there when he asked us why we bothered.

 

“By the Star.” He finally said, the smile long gone from his face. “You actually have found one of the few things worse than paperwork.”

 

…

 

 

 

As it turned out, Hans actually knew quite a bit about the demon, something he named as a ‘Efmorgevenor’ or ‘Thought Demon’, though he decided to call it a ‘Shade’ for simplicity’s sake.

 

Indeed the church knew about it, and the rumour about the failed exorcism was not only true, it was somehow worse, leading to the deaths of two people after the team underestimated it. Apparently neither the Chapter Master Baliman, Hans, nor any of the other high ranking paladins had been in the city at the time to respond to the threat, and the team of greenhorns who’d decided to investigate hadn’t been prepared in the slightest.

 

“And I hate to say it.” Hans continued. “But right now I’m the only healthy paladin in branch headquarters. Even my own team was sent away to Summark for the foreseeable future. In all likelihood they won’t be back until the solstice, after the royal gala.”

 

The solstice? That was still over a month away! There was no way we could wait that long for the house to be cleared, not if we wanted that book before we were forced away.

 

“Why send away everyone like that?” Auro tilted her head a little. “Surely leaving none of the leadership in the capital is a little-”

 

“Most paladins are not very high in the church leadership.” Hans corrected politely. “We don’t hold sermons very often, nor are we free to deviate from our tasks for the charities required to hold such positions. Baliman was only the third paladin who had ascended to the rank of chapter master since the fall of the Everstar, and even that was under extraordinary circumstances.”

 

“But why not keep a team in the capital?” I asked. “Surely it’s an important enough city to warrant such security.”

 

From what I could remember from books and Saphry’s memories, the Church of the Everstar was unsurprisingly prominent in Veroline political society, fielding troops and governing bishoprics called ‘chapters’ like a seperate feudal hierarchy under the king. I still wasn’t entirely sure if these ‘paladin teams’ were their main military force, which would be strange given how few of them there were, or if the church operated a normal feudal army of contracts and levies, but either option brought forth questions.

 

Though to be honest, with the ascension of magic and maybe even more importantly the mountainous geography of this world, I had pretty much no idea what mass combat would even look like in Verol.

 

“It does, though spectral threats that require the paladin teams specifically used to be extremely rare in such a populated place.” Hans sighed. “But special circumstances have forced our hand these last few months, and so we lie empty for yet a few more weeks.”

 

I raised an eyebrow.

 

“What kind of special circumstances?”

 

“I wouldn’t worry about it, little ladies.” He waved us away in a manner probably intended to be less irritating than it was. “Politics is a game I wouldn’t wish to saddle any lady with, even more so when the politics are borne out of Tresti and the Temoif...”

 

I felt the righteous fury of feminism rise up again within me, only staunched when Gideon extended his talons and pressed them into my scalp.

 

“But aren’t you an accomplished paladin?” Auro asked as I glared upwards. “Is it within your power to banish such a creature?”

 

Hans snorted.

 

“You do realise you’re asking me to risk my life for a library book, right?” He chuckled as we both turned away sheepishly. “But no. Normally I would be fine doing such a thing, but a shade like that is different. I wouldn’t dare to approach such a being by myself, even with my own extensive experience.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“How would you even go about exorcising something like that?” I asked curiously.

 

He didn’t seem to catch any red flags with that question, thankfully, and leaned back ponderously.

 

“A shade, huh?” He drummed his fingers on the desk. “Assuming you had adequate mental defences you could just go up to its Kaifmorn, or ‘soul stone’ and perform a simple banishment miracle. Theoretically, in this specific case, as long as you didn’t have any serious regrets you wouldn’t even need the mental defences. Or you could just hit the demon with thaumaturgies until it dies. Some teams prefer the messier method.”

 

“If it’s so easy, why do you need a team?” Auro asked the obvious question.

 

“Mental wards aren’t really an exact science.” Hans smiled grimly. “And you don’t get to live as long as I have without a regret or two. I’d also need to get fairly close to even cast a spell at it in a house that small, unless I wanted to risk burning down half of the upper circle. You two better be glad that you weren’t personally affected by it, these sorts of griffonspawn experiences are… unpleasant, to say the least.”

 

“I… I’m sure.” Auro said.

 

“So you just have to let it sit in that house?” I asked. “Isn’t that kind of dangerous?”

 

“We’ve already locked the property up tight.” Hans noted. “Only thieves and brigands would attempt to get in now, and shades are not things that leave their small domains willingly.”

 

Well, we weren’t quite thieves. We were after that overdue library book, after all… 

 

We talked a bit more about what we could do, but it eventually came down to the fact that Hans quite simply couldn’t help us right now, though he offered to send the book to Minua if he found it after it was banished. The three of us left the office with little more than information, though I knew that would be invaluable if we decided to go after it anyway. 

 

I said my goodbyes and exchanged addresses with Auro as we met up with Marcolo, just in case. Though I don’t really plan on dragging her into this again. I didn’t want to endanger anybody besides myself if I did decide to go after the book again, nor could I think of a good reason why I needed those transmutation books enough that I’d risk lives for them. And even if I could, I didn’t think Auro would really be up for a rematch with that thing. I didn’t know what she heard back there, but my own experiences spoke pretty much for themselves.

 

I mean, [Christ], even I didn’t want to go back. And I probably wouldn’t, at least not until I’d gotten some better support. Today wasn’t a good day to research and recruit either, for I actually already had something scheduled for later, something that could possibly get me closer to another of one of my goals. 

 

And who knows, if I played my cards right, I might even get to crush two birds with a single stone. For Hans had said that the demon was susceptible to getting blown apart with magic, and one of the members of this meeting was quite possibly the most powerful magician I knew in Elys.

 

It was time to meet with Andril. 

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