Lonely Me and the Lonely Caring Goddess

Chapter 17: 17


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Chapter 17 – Real Feelings

 

TL: Cheetah

 

ED: Ryuubii

(TN: I’ll change the flower bed => flower garden as it’s much more appropriate)

(Kazu POV)

All this time, Senpai hasn’t spoken a single word.

She’s still holding the hem of my blazer while continuing to look at me.

Her expression was as expressionless as ever…

I didn’t mull over it too much because I had other things on my mind.

No, maybe I’m just an idiot…

Senpai who was holding the hem of my blazer… her hand was quivering.

It’s no wonder.

Girls would probably feel terrified after going through something like that.

I regretted letting go of her earlier, saying it was okay.

But doing it again now… would be awkward.

After a little consideration, I took Senpai’s hand that was holding the hem of my blazer and squeezed it tightly.

“Ah…”

Looking at Senpai firmly in the eyes, I tried to show her that everything was okay now.

When she saw my expression, she seemed a little more relaxed.

Then, she squeezed my hand back with all her strength.

P: “Now I want you all to come to the student council room. You will be asked to write a written pledge, which will be a binding document. If today’s events get out to anyone, you will be held accountable for your actions.”

The story went on.

I wondered about the pledge, but that was probably deliberate.

Furthermore, I doubt they will question it… since they’re so stupid.

In the end, I leave things up to the student council president.

Nevertheless, I do not know what would be the best course of action, and I don’t think there was any other solution.

The most important thing I need to think about is what would happen to Senpai in the future.

The student council officers seemed to be assembled, since I saw some of them at the roof’s entrance.

They dragged away those morons with them and left.

The only ones left now were me, Senpai, and her friend.

N: “Well, I’ll be keeping watch, so let’s talk later.”

She told me and then turned to Senpai.

N: “Sara, talk to him properly.”

VP: “Okay…”

After hearing Senpai’s reply, she turned to me again.

N: “Takanashi-kun, take care of the rest… and make sure to listen carefully.”

K: “Understood.”

And with that said, she walked out from the rooftop.

I also calmed down and was reminded of the current situation.

In the first place, I also have certain reservations.

I was avoiding Senpai, and now I felt awkward about it.

This time, I took action completely on the spur of the moment, and it’s not like I’ve lost all my ill feelings…

No, I should be reasonable.

In the first place, if I consider Senpai’s usual attitude, for some reason she treated me differently from the others right from the start.

The fact that she said she couldn’t treat me differently from others sounded like an explanation from her position, and if that was the case, it could possibly mean that she really meant something else.

In other words, although I haven’t confirmed it or even listened to her carefully, I prematurely and selfishly decided to jump to the wrong conclusion.

Which partly caused this whole thing…

For the first time in a couple of days, I felt calm and my mind went at full speed, causing more and more thoughts to appear in my mind.

I was starting to feel negative again in a different sense.

When I thought about it, I felt ashamed to face Senpai in a completely different way than before.

But then again, this doesn’t mean it’s okay to leave Senpai now.

Her trembling hands seemed to have calmed down a bit.

K: “Senpai, are you okay?”

Senpai had been through a lot, and so, I decided to let go of my shallow thoughts of not being able to face her.

VP: “After considering a lot of things…”

K: “Yes.”

Senpai began to speak in hushed tones.

“There’s something I have to tell you Takanashi-san… something I’ve been wanting to tell you in the past few days… but now…”

Of course Senpai had something to say to me.

To be honest, I think it’s no surprise she’s angry with me now.

So there’s no choice. I’ll just have to accept it…

“Senpai, there’s something I must say to you too, something which I’m sure I must apologize for. I plan to be honest about it. So if you have something you want to say, please don’t worry about me and say it.”

“It was…”

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Senpai’s voice sounded in a whisper.

Thus, I couldn’t hear her well.

“Eh? Sorry, I didn’t hear.”

“It was scary.”

Senpai mumbled it again.

“It was terrifying… I am afraid of what they will do to me…”

“It was the first time someone had done this to me, and I had no idea how to handle it. I couldn’t run away, but I also don’t want to get caught, so when someone grabbed my arm, various thoughts went through my mind.”

Senpai downheartedly said while hanging her head.

What will they do to her… I suppose it’s natural to have such thoughts in that situation. (TN: No ecchi) (EN: No R-18 tag, safe for now.)

I’m glad I made it in time.

“I’m ashamed of myself. My lack of compassion for others… the fact that I made Takanashi-san feel bad… everything I’ve done up until now… my superficial thought of mine that caused it all…”

Her tears at that time… weren’t because she was afraid of those morons…

“I cried because I had so many different emotions at that time, but after that, I am happy that Takanashi-san came to my rescue. But after Natsumi and the chairman came, and Takanashi-san let go of me, I am able to calm down and think about things, and I realized exactly what I have been doing until now.”

And that led you to grab my blazer?

“I started thinking again about what I should have done, and…”

After she said that, Senpai’s hand started to shake a little again, as if she remembered what had happened.

“It’s all good now! It’s already over! Don’t worry about it!”

What should I do… in this kind of situation…

I felt like I’d had a scene like this before.

That’s also what happened to her… right?

With my free hand, I gently caressed Senpai’s head.

“Senpai… this matter is over. I’m sure the student council president will take good care of it. We also have evidence. I’m sure they won’t do anything else. If something happens in the future, please contact me. I’ll definitely do my best to help.”

“…Yes, I understand.”

I stroked Senpai’s head gently until her trembling calmed down.

After a while, I looked at her expression and saw that Senpai had a ticklish look on her face with her eyes narrowed.

And her hands had stopped trembling.

“This is the first time anyone other than my parents has ever patted me on the head.”

“I’m sorry for doing this out of the blue.”

I knew this wasn’t something I should do to a stranger…or to a girl.

But I couldn’t think of anything else.

I didn’t have much of a choice, as far as my experience was concerned.

“No, I don’t mind it. But it was quite natural, though?”

“That’s because…I had a childhood friend once.”

“Is that so… is your childhood friend a girl?”

“Hmm, yes, in a way.”

“I see.”

“Um, is there a problem with that?”

The conversation flowed in a way that made me feel as if I was being questioned.

And before I knew it, Senpai’s expression had returned to her usual blank expression.

“No, it’s nothing… I don’t understand this feeling myself.”

She whispered halfway through and I couldn’t hear the rest of her words.

“… Should we leave this place now?”

I thought it would be a bad idea to stay here, as it might remind her of unnecessary things.

“Yes, but can we go to the flower garden after this? I’d like to talk to you about something.”

“I understand. I have something to tell you, too.”

Either way, we need to talk.

As I tried to move towards the flower garden, I felt a tug.

Apparently, Senpai grabbed the hem of my blazer again.

“Senpai?”

“Is it no good?”

“No, It’s fine.”

For now, I should let her do what she wants to do.

With things as they were, we started to move towards the flower garden.

Senpai, who is a little close to my back while walking beside me… has her usual expressionless face and seems to have returned to normal.

…No, she’s still grabbing the hem of my blazer, so there’s no way she’s in her normal state.

S1: “…Oi, what’s up with that?”

S2: “The Goddess is with a boy?”

S3: “… Look carefully, she’s holding on to him”

S4: “Oi, oi… What the h*ll does that mean?”

Of course we’ll stand out and have people looking at us while we’re on our way to the flower garden…

Eventually, we went straight up to the flower garden.

Well, there’s no one here, so it’s probably okay.

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