Chapter 52: CH50 — Crippling Desires ♡♡♡

The ever-lasting pleasure was over, and with Shen seemed satisfied, we spent the rest of the night inside the same spacious bedroom we made love in. 

Her last request is for us to cuddle or sleep on the same bed. Which I oblige, but with one condition: a very minimum skin contact is to be maintained as we sleep. It’s something easy considering the bed is ridiculously big, big enough to hold four people sleeping, and this is the smallest bed we can find in the palace. 

At first, she disagrees as expected, throwing a tantrum about what according to her is an ‘unfair’ condition. What surprised me however, after a few seconds of obvious temper squirming, she suddenly stops for a moment and then smiles agreeing to my terms. It’s honestly quite scary how eagerly she jumps to agreeing pretty easily and also easily falls asleep. Is this correlated with my Sky Palace brainwashing power?

Nevertheless, this place is somehow cold. Way too cold. It wasn’t this cold as far as I remember. Was my repressed lust throughout our love-making heated me before? Tucking into the bed’s heavy blanket does little to provide warmth either, it pervades this empty heart of mine.

I wish I could just shut my eyes and fall asleep. But I can not, not with this coldness, even more so with Shen so close to my side. The almost freezing temperature compels me to detect anything that resembles warmth and it so happens to be the beautiful goddess, Shen.

She’s sleeping beautifully while facing me, and so peacefully too. Throughout my attempt to force myself to sleep, she inches closer to me in her sleep. I don’t know if she does so since she’s awake or it's just instinct. Just with her presence so close to me, it’s so hard to not pay attention to her. It is one of these moments where I can truly marvel just how beautiful she is. 

It’s hard to believe she was once a powerful dragon, or rather… is a powerful dragon; she can always transform back to her original dragon form. We are completely different beasts altogether. The disparity between me and her is just too high. She’s gorgeous and powerful, whereas I’m just a normal human that you could find anywhere.

Almost everything she does is divine in itself. Beyond devoted and most important of all eager to please. The only reason why I think she doesn’t delve into full-blown selfless servitude is because she notices my reluctance.

It feels… Too good to be true. Too good to be mine. 

But no, of course it was not enough. It was never enough. 

This high virility of mine, it is both a blessing and a curse. On the right person, it can be such a wonderful and thrilling experience; left alone, however, my mind deviates to thoughts that are… wild. Extremely wild.

Mutating into an urge. A fierce and violent urge. A feeling similar to hunger; a craving so close to a thirst. Which then transforms into deprivation.

An unfathomable desire to taste the prey in front of me to the very core of her bones. Having shen on top is great on its own, but what I love the most is when I’m the one in charge and in control.

Her existence and devotion lights a fire to the once extinguished fire pit before. It’s as if she is the personification of my ultimate fantasy. My wildest desire for absolute, unwavering devotion. For that someone to stay obedient with me, and thinks nothing else but me and only me. To always stay with me.

The feeling of power. The feeling of controlling and owning someone, where I don’t have to care about their being and I can be my true self. 

There’s just this desire, a need to destroy something so perfect and to reduce her to be just a thing. 

She’s so perfect, a goddess materialized, that it compels me to destroy her.

I want to break her and ruin her. To not treat her as a dragon princess but rather as a cheap sex toy that have no value and only deserves rough fucking.

I want to dominate her; put her into her true place. A little plaything in my hand, reducing her into a mere three-holes cum dumpster slut.

I want to rape her non-stop, fucking make her moan both in pleasure and pain. To not care of her pleasure and just fuck her pussy without care and purely for my own pleasure.

I’ll lock her in chains so she won’t be able to resist whatever I wish to do upon her. All she can do is to accept the fate that she is just a mere masturbation toy to be used.

If she truly loves me and serves me, then surely she would be willing and even eager to fulfill my wish, won’t she? Where my needs are absolute and be in absolute joy for fulfilling my desires.

Her long swan-like neck is so ideal and perfect to rest my hand and just… squeeze. She would be desperate to breathe, and her eyes would flicker mixed with pleasure and despair, Tears dripping out of ecstasy of being put into her true place of being a lowly slut.

Or even better, I’ll force my dick into her soft lips, straight into her throat. Plant her face deep into my crotch, forcing my pubes to penetrate her nose. Savoring the unbelievable, taboo-wrecking sensation of selfishly using her throat for my own pleasure while she’s desperate to breathe, fucking her face like I’d fuck her pussy — roughly, without a worry about how she feels, uninhibited by her feelings and conscience.

And then she will truly know how it feels to be owned by me. Her true place. To be below me. To be mine.

 「 Master~ 」

Shen’s soothing calm voice snaps me out of my lustful desires… As I begin to slowly but surely regain my awareness I realize I’m… I’m on top of her… My hands are wrapping around her throat.

She looks at me very innocently, merely asking about me, even though I’m just about to hurt her.

 「 Master? Is everything okay? You seem to be… hurt?  」

H-hurt? 

...God, I’m such a terrible being.

How can a degenerate like me be able to get such an understanding perfect girl?

I… I’ve thought so many terrible things and was so close to choking her out...

This is… this is… getting too far…

Fuck….

What was I thinking?

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 「 Shen… you’re not hurt aren’t you? 」

What am I talking about…? Of course she’s hurt. I’ve been sitting and putting all of my weight on top of her belly. I might've not choked her at the last minute but what if I did?

 「 Master, I’m doing great~ Please continue whatever you want to do to me. 」

No… No…. No…

 「 Sorry Shen… I’m just feeling a bit under the weather just now… 」

 「 What are you apologizing for, master? There’s nothing and there won’t be anything you need to apologize for. 」

I get off the bed, trying to find my clothes but soon realized that my clothes were scattered around the room. I should just go out as soon as I can without bothering to dress myself. Even while still being naked I don’t let the cold bother me and calmly walk towards the door.  

 「 Starting from today, we will be sleeping in separate rooms. 」

 「 M-master, please wait! 」

Shen shouts went muffled midway before she could finish the sentence as I shut the door closed. 

Plans of sleeping in another random bedroom of the sky palace pops up, however, she might chase after me immediately so it's best if I continue sleeping in the ship instead. Not a great place to sleep in all honesty with it’s uncomfortable canopy like bed and constant sway due to the waves, but it will do for now. As long as I get away from her and calm down my mind then it is fine.

I am her master, but that doesn’t mean I can abuse her servility for my own selfish desires. 

Absolute power, corrupts absolutely indeed.

 

…

(3rd POV; Close Narrator, Shen-focused)

 

With the door shut closed with a loud bang, Shen could only do naught but stop in her tracks. She’s so close to jumping off the bed and going after her master, but decides to stop at the last second with the fear it would only escalate his reluctance. 

Emotions she never experienced in her past life before start festering. Anger? Shame? Regret, but most important of all–doubtness towards herself. Is she even worthy of being his servant for allowing such a stupid mistake? To fail to comfort her master, her creator?

She recalls from one of his mother’s lessons that to win a man’s heart is to maintain a delicate balance of being assertive and submissive at the same time. Submissiveness was a no brainer. What kind of servant is not submissive towards its master, towards its creator? But assertiveness… Assertiveness was not something she truly thought of, even though it fits so well with her original way of doing things.

Now she fully understands what his mother meant by balance.

It was the right idea to subtly cast a spell that would cause the room to grow colder slowly but surely. A little devious trick for him to search for warmth; that would inevitably turn into him seeking out for her embrace. While she submissively pretends to sleep, waiting for his move. 

What was not is stopping the act and calling him out. She foolishly thought since  master has taken his first step, it wouldn’t be wrong to be clear and assertively encourage him to continue. 

It was going so well. She was more ecstatic than ever before when master was on top of her, doing what he truly wanted to do without holding back.

Like a key inserted to its designated lock. It feels so right; like the way it should be.

It’s such a fantastic feeling, the purpose instilled on her very soul. Life is not hazy, ambiguous clouds full of uncertainty anymore. The path is already there, provided with guaranteed satisfaction and happiness, lying all across in this path that goes forever long.

It wasn’t like her past life where, even if she was fully certain of a choice, it would always turn out to be the wrong one either way. Even when she thinks a choice is the most correct one, there’s always something that is not ideal. Stuck between the choice of two lesser ideal choices, it always leaves her unsatisfied and regretful. 

This second life was different, further proven by how she quickly recovers from this failure. 

So what if she failed? She has all the time in the world, and master is not going anywhere. What she needs now is not just attentiveness but also persistence. Both of which are completely new to her. Both of which she doesn’t have much experience in her past life as Naga.

But isn’t this what makes this second life so interesting?

Back then, everything just fell to her slightest whim, making everything rather boring. Thousands of dragons fought her and it only took a day to defeat all of them, coming out with miniscule injuries. Claiming the peak of the tallest mountain that was reserved to the most supreme beings was also too easy. There’s little to no excitement in that world. Only the vainness of it all.

Now, she actually has to push effort to fight and conquer master’s heart. There’s thrill in the chase like nothing before. The challenge to fulfill her purpose fuels her drive and leaves her excited to earn her price. The failures and setbacks doesn’t even demotivate her the slightest bit — it further drives her yearn for master's love even more. 

Recalling how close she was to fulfilling master’s desire, she can’t help but notice the corners of her lips curving up.

I will earn my master's love, and my master’s trust. And soon master’s heart will be mine, and only mine.

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